Authors: Helen Phifer
Today I watched with great relief as Edward left. Alfie whose correct title is junior footman but also a bit of a jack of all trades like me when it comes to helping around the house helped him to load his luggage onto the horse and trap. Cook told me his Lordship had warned Edward to leave me alone or he would not be allowed home. I did not dare this to be true, since he scared me out of my wits in the cellar he has not even spoken to me. Two days ago I saw him in the garden beating a rabbit with a stick, the poor thing was squealing at the top of its voice like a baby. It was horrid, I wanted to run outside to help the poor creature but I was too scared of Edward for I know he would like to beat me with a stick. I ran to find Harold who was polishing the silver. Cook told me that Harold then went to tell his Lordship who went outside himself to put a stop to Edward’s cruel torture but not before the rabbit was beaten to death and the frost which had turned the green grass white and crisp was turned blood red.
This house will be so much happier with him gone, I shall be able to carry out my chores without being afraid that Edward is spying on me and waiting to scare me. He has the devil inside of him I am sure of it. On my way to bed I overheard his Lordship arguing with Lady Hannah and I know it was about Edward. I shall mention it to Cook but I know she will tell me to mind my own business and keep quiet. I think tonight will be the first night in weeks that I will sleep well.
Annie was totally engrossed until a loud knock at the door brought her back to reality. She looked out of the window to see a familiar flash of luminous yellow. Someone was looking around the barns. She pulled on the pale blue woollen beanie hat she bought last year just in case it was someone she worked with and then opened the door.
Jake was standing there grinning at her. He stepped forward and picked her up, lifting her off the ground.
How did he know where to find me? I never told anyone where I was staying
. Annie squirmed and glanced at the man behind Jake. She recognised Will. He had not long passed his sergeant’s exam and just been promoted to detective sergeant in CID. He looked embarrassed by Jake’s behaviour. When he finally put her down she felt guilty for not telling him where she was staying.
‘So this is where you’ve been hiding from me. I leave messages on your voicemail because you never answer your phone. If I’m lucky I get a cryptic text message. Whatever happened to the art of conversation?’
Will looked at each of them.
‘Jake, I’m fine, I told you I needed some time to myself. I just want to be lazy and not have to worry about anyone except me.’ She felt the familiar flush as her cheeks began to burn at Will’s reaction.
Will was trying his best to place her; she looked familiar. She only reached chest height on Jake, wasn’t wearing any make up and was wearing a cute hat, even though she was inside the house, which puzzled him. He could hear Jake muttering and caught the shut-the-fuck-up-look on her face. He realised where he knew her from: she was one of the coppers in the community office who worked with Jake.
He coughed. ‘Sorry to break up your lovers’ tiff but we have work to do Jake.’
‘We are not having a lovers’ tiff, Jake is just overprotective and a pain.’
Jake threw his hands in the air in mock submission. ‘Well, I’m sorry, Annie, but you can’t be mad at me because I care. I’ve been so worried.’
She smiled and her whole face lit up. Will felt something inside his chest shift just a tiny bit. ‘No, I’m not mad but I have to get over this on my own, get myself together. You know how it is. He ruined my life for long enough.’
Will had to stop himself from giving the pair of them a round of applause. He felt as if he had stumbled into some bizarre scene from a soap opera. ‘Right then, now you’re both going to live happily ever after it’s time to talk business.’ He winked at Annie. ‘A nineteen-year-old girl was reported missing a couple of hours ago and the alarm bells are ringing; we are very concerned for her welfare. We have a last confirmed sighting of her heading towards the Abbey last night so here is the million dollar question.’
Annie finished it for him, ‘No, I’m sorry I haven’t seen or heard anything unusual.’ She opted to leave out the drama at the old house earlier.
‘Is it OK to check all the outbuildings just in case she’s hiding in one of them?’
Annie nodded, pulled her jacket from the back of the chair and followed them outside. Between the three of them they searched each barn in a matter of minutes.
‘Sorry but it looks like there’s nothing but junk in any of them.’ She shrugged her shoulders by way of apology.
‘Don’t worry. I think you would have noticed someone creeping around anyway.’
Jake strode over to join them. ‘What about the old house? It’s huge. She could be hiding out in there.’
Annie’s voice raised an octave, ‘No, she’s not in there.’
Jake arched his eyebrow. ‘And you would know this because?’
‘Because I was in there earlier and it was empty. My brother is the caretaker and I went to check it out. I don’t think anyone has been in there since 1982.’ She thought about the figure at the window but kept quiet.
Will picked up on her agitation and found himself intrigued: there was something she wasn’t telling them. He didn’t think for one minute that it had anything to do with their missing girl but something had put her on edge. ‘I’ll take your word for it but if we don’t find her we may have to search the place just to cover our backs.’
‘Well, let me know and I’ll take you in because it’s dangerous. I don’t know how she would have got in though because the downstairs windows are all boarded up.’ She ducked under a low beam but didn’t go low enough and her hat caught on a nail.
Will was horrified to see the angry red wound and line of staples that ran along the back of her head. Her hair had been shaved to allow the doctors to patch it all back together but dark stubble was beginning to poke through.
Jake not known for his tact gasped, ‘Jesus Christ, Annie, what a mess your head is. I’m surprised you haven’t got brain damage.’
Her face bright red, she grabbed the hat and pulled it down over her head then turned and walked briskly back towards the safety of the house. Once she reached the kitchen door she turned to face them. ‘If you need me give me a ring.’ With that she shut and bolted the kitchen door leaving them staring at each other.
‘What the fuck is the matter with you, Jake? Why did you have to say that?’
Jake shrugged and Will was pleased to see that for once he actually looked remorseful. ‘Ah you know me, Will, I don’t mean it. Before I can stop myself I’ve jumped straight in with my size twelve boots and the damage has been done.’
They walked in silence to the gate and Will couldn’t help but turn around to take one last look, he caught a glimpse of Annie watching them from one of the downstairs windows, she looked so scared and vulnerable and he wanted to go back and give her a hug, tell her everything was going to be all right
. Bloody hell I’m going soft in my old age
.
They walked back to the main path, which ran through the woods to meet up with some of the search team. Jake was subdued for a change and Will was thankful, his mind was working overtime wondering what had happened to Annie. But now was not the time or place because he needed to keep a clear head for Jenna White. On top of that he couldn’t ask Jake about Annie because he’d never hear the end of it. He supposed he could ask around the station where, no doubt, someone would be all too willing to fill him in on every gory detail, but he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to violate her privacy, he wanted to hear it from her and he wondered how he could approach her if he saw her again. And he did want to see her again. Very much.
Annie wasn’t really angry with Jake. She was used to him opening his mouth and putting his foot in it. The number of scrapes at work she had got him out of was too many to count; it was because Will had been there she had felt humiliated. She only knew him well enough to say hello to in the corridor, up to now never having worked on any cases with him. The look of pity on his face had made her feel helpless.
She didn’t want sympathy from anyone. It was her own fault she had stayed with Mike all those years when she should have done what she told the countless victims of the domestic violence cases she dealt with through work: get out of there. But Mike could be so persuasive when he needed to be and a complete charmer. He would promise her he wouldn’t do it again and tell her that he loved her so much and every time she believed him until the last six months when she had started to crack. She felt like a complete idiot.
As she had watched Jake and Will walk away she had wanted to run after them and offer them some coffee. It would be nice to have some company, especially after this morning’s events. She knew all about Will’s reputation around the station as a womanizer. According to Jake, who had been friends with him since they joined, his type was tall, blonde, stick-thin, the look of a starving supermodel. So why was the way he looked at her playing on her mind?
Jake, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. When, fresh from training school, she had been assigned a tutor on her first day in the station and had been introduced to him she had to breathe deeply to calm herself down. He was tall, dark and drop dead gorgeous with muscles in all the right places. Every single job they went to the women practically threw themselves at him. He was always professional and never took them up on their offers of phone numbers or drinks and Annie had found herself developing a major crush on her tutor.
Jake took to Annie and became her protector, to which she had not the slightest objection. After one particularly harrowing day at work – they had delivered two death messages in a row and been the first on scene at a fatal car crash – he invited her to his house for a bottle of wine and a takeaway. Annie couldn’t have said no even if she had wanted to. Eager to have the chance to spend some time with him she had told Mike it was a girl’s night out. He had moaned the whole time she was getting ready to go and she knew there would be a price to pay for it later.
She arrived at the large Victorian semi in one of the nicest parts of town, which made her wonder exactly how he could afford it on his wages. Walking up the cobbled path bordered on either side by the most aromatic lavender and pink roses she had ever smelt it occurred to her just how much she would like to live here with Jake.
Angry male voices filtered through the open sash window and then the front door opened, and out stormed an even better looking man than Jake. He slammed the door behind him, jumped over the lavender to the drive and got into a brand new Mercedes. The door flew open and Jake stood there about to shout something when he spotted Annie standing there with a bottle of wine in one hand and her mouth wide open.
‘I hope you’re not drooling after that. Because he is one spoilt, selfish bastard.’
Embarrassed she shook her head. ‘Is that your brother?’
Jake had laughed. ‘Oh how I wish he was because then I could just punch him when he gets on my nerves. Come on, I’m starving. Get in here quick so I can order before he comes back.’
‘He’s coming back? Does he live here then?’
‘Actually it’s his house but we both pay the mortgage.’
She began to imagine how nice it would be to live in this lovely old house, which was decorated with a vintage shabby chic feel to it. It would be even better sharing it with two gorgeous men; she looked at Jake who was genuinely confused.
‘Erm, I hope you’re not fantasing about what you would like to do with my boyfriend?’
Annie had wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. Doing her best to look indifferent, she brushed it off. ‘Well, it did include the two of you; I wouldn’t leave you out, Jake.’
If Jake had been insulted he never let on.
Half an hour later the Greek God had turned up with two bottles of wine and a bunch of flowers. ‘These are for you. I’m Alex. I was so rude earlier and I’m very sorry but Jake can be such a tosser.’
Annie had accepted the flowers and smiled. ‘You know him as well as I do then.’ They had both laughed and Jake had tried to look insulted but failed miserably and joined in. That had been the start of a beautiful friendship.
When she was lying in casualty like a broken rag doll Jake had begged her to move in with them, but her pride had got the better of her and she had refused point blank. Although, if she didn’t have something sorted out by the time Ben and his family arrived back in the country, she might have to take him up on his offer.
Ben was visiting their mother, who had moved to France six years ago. Annie had been out twice to see her and it was twice too much: they just didn’t get on. Annie had never forgiven her for leaving her dad when they were young.
Annie had loved her dad so much. He had always been the one to tuck her in and read her bedtime stories and then one day she had come home from school and her mum and Ben had been waiting in the hall for her with two large suitcases and three black bin bags of toys. Annie had begged her mum to let her stay with her dad but she wouldn’t, insisting that Annie had to go with her. A black car had pulled up with a man driving she had never seen before, and her mum had loaded the cases, bags and then her children into a car with her and the mystery man and driven away.
Annie had never forgotten the look of hurt on her dad’s face. He died not long after that and Annie blamed her mum for breaking his heart. Ben on the other hand was the golden child, or so she had nicknamed him. He would laugh it off but Annie knew he was their mother’s favourite and it didn’t bother her, well, not now she was an adult. It had when she was a kid because Ben could just about do whatever he wanted yet whenever Annie asked it was always ‘no’.
She had been so desperate to escape her family home that when Mike had asked her to move in with him she didn’t even think about it. She packed her bags and that was it. And now look at how that had ended. She sat back down at the kitchen table to read some more of the diary, anything to take her mind off Jake and Will.
Edward is coming home for the Easter holidays. The house has been so happy these last few months without him that I feel my stomach filling with butterflies at the thought of it. I have been able to practise my reading and writing in the schoolroom in solitude.
Lady Hannah came in one day when I was writing and told me that I was creating memories for the days when I am older and my memory may not serve me as well as it does now. I try to write every day but there is so much to do around this big house that I sometimes forget.
Today I feel as if a black cloud is descending upon me. I am so scared of Edward and what he may have been dreaming of to do to me whilst in London that I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything. I know that I am being foolish thinking this way and that Lady Hannah would not stand back and let him treat me so cruelly but she is not always around and his Lordship is far too busy with work to notice what goes on in this house. I will just have to do my best to keep out of his way and hope for the best. I would tell Alfie how I feel but I fear he would step in to defend me and then he would lose his position in the house and also his home and I do not want anyone to suffer because of me. I know that Alfie likes me a lot, more than just as a friend, because he stole a kiss from me two days ago out in the woodshed, when he was helping me carry wood in for the fire. I pretended to be angry and pushed him away but I was not really and I think he knows this because he grinned at me and winked.
So far Edward has been very polite and courteous towards me. He has not hidden in any dark corners to jump out and scare me yet. I think that London is changing him for the best. There must be lots of young ladies he can be mean to in the city. He has taken to wearing smart suits with a clean pressed handkerchief tucked into his pocket. Alfie told me that Edward insists on a clean one every day and he had to go into town to purchase some more to make sure Edward did not run out on his visit home.
Today I had to clean out all the fire grates. His Lordship took Edward to the town hall to a meeting today leaving Alfie at a loose end. Harold told him he could help me. Alfie entertained me with tales of his family, which is huge: he has three sisters and two brothers. How I laughed when he told me of the mischief they all got into. He is very lucky, although he thought not and said he was so glad to escape from them when he got his job working here.
There was just mother and me until she died and she was always so busy we never got to spend much time together. I miss her so much and I often wonder what it would have been like not to have been an only child. I like Alfie very much. He is such a good friend to me. He has the palest blue eyes, which crinkle when he laughs, and a head full of wavy, blonde hair.
By the time we had cleaned the last grate we looked like a pair of chimney sweeps and Cook ordered us to get washed and changed before her Ladyship caught sight of the pair of us and screamed with fright. Alfie nudged me in the side and we dashed up the servants stairs up to our quarters. Edward must have come back early because he was stood loitering at the top of the stairs and he glared at Alfie who put his head down and excused himself. I continued walking up the stairs afraid that he would follow me but he didn’t. I have no idea why he would be waiting around on our cramped staircase when he has the grand staircase at the front of the house to go up and down on. I have a horrible feeling that he was spying on me but maybe I am just being foolish.
The house was empty this evening. Lord and Lady Heaton have gone to a party and we have all been given the night off. Cook and Millie have gone to visit old Mrs Blackley, who is very poorly. She used to work here before her retirement. Harold has taken them in the horse and trap and then he is going to meet Alfie at the tavern for a while before picking them back up again.
Alfie asked me if I wanted to go but the tavern is not the most suitable place for a young lady. I would be frowned upon by all within if I set foot in there. Cook wanted me to go with her and Millie but I could not face another dying person so soon after my own mother. I told her I felt ill and wanted to retire early. I ran up the grand staircase to turn her Ladyship’s bed down and passed Edward on the first floor landing. He looked so dashing and handsome dressed in his best to go to the dance. He stared at me with his cold, black eyes but he carried on walking and I lowered my head. He ran along to the stairs and I found myself watching him through the balustrade, he looked up to where I was standing and fixed his cold eyes on me. My heart missed a beat and I was so scared because I remembered there was only me and him left in the house. He then lifted his hand to his lips and blew me a kiss. I was so horrified that I ran straight up to my room and shut the door, my cheeks burning bright with shame and, as much as I hate to admit it, I think I felt something other than hatred towards him because my stomach churned with butterflies at the thought of him blowing me a kiss.
It is my birthday tomorrow and I will be sixteen years old. I was nine when I first came to this house with my mother when she was offered the position of housekeeper. Tomorrow I will have no one to celebrate it with but it does not matter. I must remember I could be in a much worse place than Abbey Wood.
I was awakened in the night by a stifled scream from outside my bedroom window. I got out of bed to look and see where it had come from. In the darkness I could make out two figures under the huge oak tree. I recognised Edward immediately. All the years I have spent hiding from him, I would know his silhouette anywhere. The other was a girl and I watched horrified as he pushed her to the ground, her petticoats and skirts tangled beneath her. I watched Edward lift his hand and strike her cruelly across the face and I whimpered out loud. He straddled her and turned to look directly up at my small attic bedroom window. I am positive he was smiling, as if he knew I was watching.
I should have run to awaken his Lordship. The girl was no longer struggling and lay still beneath him. Instead like a coward I ran to my bed and pulled the covers over my head. I was too afraid to move. I have heard about the things men and women get up to from Alfie so maybe Edward is in love with this girl. I tried not to remind myself that if you truly loved someone then you would not strike them. There were no more screams from outside and I stayed under my covers praying that Edward would not come looking for me.
In the morning there was no sign of Edward as breakfast was served and Alfie was sent up to his room with a tray. No one else said anything about what had happened last night so I kept quiet and made myself busy as far away from Edward’s room as possible. I could not stop thinking about the woman and what had happened to her but I did not dare to ask anyone. I hope that she is safe somewhere but I know she has come to great harm. I would not dare to speak this out loud for fear of upsetting Lady Hannah or causing Cook to gossip.
It was intriguing. The handwriting was hard to understand at times and as much as she wanted to keep reading, concentrating so much was giving Annie a headache. Rain trickled down the kitchen window and Tess looked at her and whined.
‘It’s miserable out there, Tess, but I don’t mind if you don’t, and we may still be able to catch up with Jake. Who’s a clever girl?’ Annie bent down and scratched behind Tess’s ears making her so excited that her tail began to thump against everything. Putting on one of the many waterproof jackets that were hanging on the coat rack and pulling on a pair of too big wellies, they set off into the woods.