Read The Galilean Secret: A Novel Online
Authors: Evan Howard
Karim pressed an ear to the door and heard shuffling outside.
A commanding voice said, “I’ll search the rest of the building. You check this floor.”
Karim pulled away and pressed a finger to his lips. Light streamed from the window behind the desk. Rachel leaned into him, her dark eyes glinting with fear. Someone was searching door to door, rapping on each one. He remained still as she pressed her cheek against his chest. He felt her breath through his threadbare
shalwar
, her body trembling slightly. It took all of his willpower to resist kissing her, but he didn’t move.
Someone banged on the door. The rattling calmed his desire. When the banging stopped, he heard the commotion of the classrooms emptying. Rachel let go and pulled him toward the desk, wiping sweat from her cheeks. That’s when he saw it—the small rectangular wooden nameplate with “Dr. Itzak Kaufman, Professor of Political Science” engraved on brass. He pointed to the nameplate as Rachel read it, her lips tightening into a thin line.
“We can’t let Kaufman find us here,” she said, her voice barely audible.
Just then Karim’s cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He withdrew it and read a text message from Brother Gregory: “Come quickly. Finished translating Judith’s diary. A stunning revelation.” He held out the open phone so that Rachel could read the text.
She glanced at it quickly and said in a low voice, “Let’s run for it. If Kaufman catches us here, he’ll tell my brother.”
Karim pressed an ear against the door. When he heard nothing, he cracked the door and peeked out. No security guard, no Kenyon. A group of students stood near the end of the hall to the left. He stepped out and Rachel followed. “We can’t go through the student center,” he said. “We must pass alongside it and weave around the adjacent buildings to reach the parking lot.”
When she nodded, he led her down the hall, knowing that they would have to pass through the students. He hoped that Kaufman wouldn’t see them. To Karim’s relief, the professor wasn’t in his classroom. But when Karim stepped into the stairwell, Kaufman was on his way into the hall, cup of tea in hand. The professor stopped abruptly when he saw Rachel, his strong features lighting up in recognition and surprise. “Rachel Sharett, what are you doing here?”
“Hello, Professor Kaufman,” she said, her voice steady. “I’m doing some research.”
“And who is your friend?” Professor Kaufman asked.
“We’re in a hurry right now,” she said, continuing to move along. “Sorry. We’ll chat sometime very soon. Sorry,” she called again over her shoulder.
Karim kept pace with her as they rushed down the stairs. He planned to lead her outside, but when he glanced through the narrow window in the door, he saw a second security guard, headed toward the building, walkie-talkie pressed to his ear. Karim grabbed Rachel’s hand and ran down the stairs to the basement.
The first door on the right was open—the boiler room. He slipped inside and turned on the light, a single bulb hanging from a long wire. The large room had an industrial-size furnace in the middle, two high windows in back and ladders, mops and brooms stacked along one wall. The boiler was off, the room quiet. Karim drew Rachel in, closed and locked the metal door and turned off the light. He led her to the back, behind the boiler. “We’ll have to stay here until dark,” he said. “Then we can run to the Jeep without being seen.”
She leaned against the cement wall and nodded. “You’d better text Brother Gregory and tell him we’ll be late.”
Karim tapped out the message and then turned toward Rachel. “I’m so sorry to have put you in this situation. I had no way of knowing that the man who tried to take the scroll from me was a professor or that he taught at JIU.”
“It’s not your fault. At least we now know his motivation. I suspect that he was on a dig at Qumran and had a permit to excavate that cave. He’s not only jealous that you found the scroll and he didn’t, but he also thinks you’re a thief.”
Karim frowned. “Did you see his eyes? I think he’s crazy.”
“We have to get out of here before he finds us.”
He reached for her hands. When he touched her fingers, she didn’t pull away. He remembered how her cheek had felt against his chest in Kaufman’s office, her breath warm and soothing. This could be his last chance to learn if she would return his feelings. “In the professor’s office, when you held me, I felt . . .”
“Shh.”
She put her finger to his lips, and then interlocked her other fingers with his. “I was scared. We were being chased, and I was afraid you might be feeling something that could cause us both trouble. But then I held you and the fear went away.”
In the pale light from the windows, he saw her pulse beating at the base of her neck. “I know that loving you is impossible . . . but I can’t help what I feel.” He reached up and ran a hand through her hair. “If we’re caught, we could lose everything. All we have is this moment.” He leaned toward her and felt her lips meet his, full and soft and moist.
The kiss, as refreshing as cool water in the desert, felt so right. He found her buttery scent intoxicating and wrapped his arms around her. When she did the same, he was transported to that distant, magical place that gives birth to dreams. He surrendered completely and forgot where he was. A darkening boiler room became an ocean of calm, inviting him into its mysterious depths. He felt her heart beating and knew he would return forever changed.
When the kiss ended, he scoured his mind for something to say, but no words came. He prayed that Allah would help him, and he hoped that Rachel was praying too, because they would need divine intervention to make this unlikely relationship work. He eased his head back but continued to hold her. “Do you think what Jesus wrote to Mary Magdalene is true?”
“What part do you mean?”
“The part about the male and the female within. He said that their spiritual union holds the secret of love.”
She ran a finger across his cheek as if needing physical proof that this moment was real. “Maybe this is our chance to find out. Everything is against us—religion, politics, history, our families. It would take something miraculous to make this relationship last.”
“But isn’t that what we have in the letter—a miracle?” He found her hand again and held it along with her eyes, in which he saw a reflection of all the love, pain and hope that he held locked behind his own. “Maybe if we don’t expect the other person to be responsible for meeting our needs, as the letter says, we’ll find the purest love. Maybe that’s why we’ve been brought together—to show that this kind of love can triumph even in this tortured land.”
Karim’s cell phone vibrated again. He wished he could ignore it and make this moment last forever, but he knew it would have to end sometime. Reluctantly he withdrew the phone and read another text message from Brother Gregory: “We must test Judith’s revelation now. If true, the letter is genuine. Come quickly.”
When he showed the message on the lighted screen to Rachel, she asked, “What does he mean that we must test her revelation?’”
Karim shook his head. “Hopefully we’ll find out soon.” He returned the phone to his pocket and noticed the darkness outside the small windows high on the wall. He led Rachel to the door and listened. When he heard no sound, he kissed her one last time, wishing it could last an eternity. Then he whispered, “We’ve got to sneak out. It’s our only hope.”
He opened the door and saw that the corridor was deserted. Grabbing her hand, he headed in the direction of the parking lot.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Roman Times
GABRIEL OPENED HIS EYES AND TRIED TO MOVE, BUT COULDN’T. The whitewashed stone ceiling above him appeared familiar, but his mind was hazy, and he couldn’t remember where he had seen the rough, pitted surface. The brilliant light of midmorning was flooding the room, and he heard the clumping of donkeys’ hooves outside the window, mingling with the voices of merchants and the laughter of children.
The light hurt his eyes.
Where am I?
He blinked to moisten the burning dryness. His head throbbed as he remembered the two Galileans in the marketplace, and how they had slammed him on the stone pavement. The haze clouding his mind made him feel as if he’d been asleep for days. He tried to move his arms, but they wouldn’t respond, nor would his legs. And the back of his head ached. The pain was agonizing, but as he remembered the ache in his heart, the hurt felt mild in comparison.
How could you, Judith?
The question echoed in his mind, as unanswered as his prayers for relief. Perhaps she considered Dismas more handsome than he—or smarter or braver or stronger. If so, Gabriel had no power to change her mind. He had lived with comparisons to Dismas all his life, and he found the competition between them grueling. His brother was better at some things, such as working with his hands. Making this concession gave Gabriel a degree of peace, but competing for Judith brought the turmoil back. Her choice of Dismas had left Gabriel’s spirit more paralyzed than his body.
He drew a breath, thankful to be alive; then he tried to sit up and this time his muscles worked. Dust motes danced in the sunlight streaming through the window. A clothing chest, a desk and a stool made of pine sat across from him in the room, which smelled faintly of sickness. He blinked again and recognized where he was—his bedroom in his parents’ home in Jerusalem. Touching his head, he felt bandages and recognized the smell as coming from ointments and dried blood.
The two Galilean men came to mind again—the revolt they were planning, the fire in their eyes. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and knew he must go to Galilee to convince Jesus of Nazareth to increase his efforts for peace. With the support of the masses, the Nazarene was the only one who could stop the revolt and the terror it would cause. Even more, Gabriel had to warn Jesus to stay away from Jerusalem because Pilate had become suspicious of all Galileans, and the city would be dangerous for Galilee’s most outspoken prophet.
Gabriel tried to stand but became lightheaded and fell backward onto the bed. Its wooden legs scraped the stone floor and made a screeching noise. A rotund woman and two older men rushed into the room. He recognized his mother and father and Nicodemus ben Gorion.
“Thank God you’re back with us.” His mother kissed him on the cheek. “Nicodemus brought you home and has been keeping vigil with us since yesterday. You could have been killed. Sometimes I think you’re as reckless as Dismas.”
Gabriel opened his eyes further and tried to speak. “I must go to Galilee.” He was grateful to hear his voice come out clear and true. “The men who hurt me must be stopped.”
“Don’t think about that now,” his stern-faced father said, gripping Gabriel’s legs. “Just try to rest. Passover is coming, and you’ll be needed at the market.”
“Passover will be a time of slaughter if the Galileans have their way.” Gabriel tried to lift a leg to get up, but his father restrained him. “Please, Father, I must go. Dismas and Judith may be involved in the revolt.” He pushed against his father’s hands, but couldn’t move.
Nicodemus, who was standing beside the baldheaded Zebulun at the foot of the bed, spoke to him. “May I speak with your son in private, please?”
“You may not leave until you’re well,” Zebulun said, taking his wife’s hand to lead her from the room. “No matter what Nicodemus tells you.”
“I agree with your father, my son,” Nicodemus said when they were alone. “It would be unwise for you to go to Galilee until you are better. Your fighting in the marketplace speaks of your need for greater maturity. As I told you earlier, you must look within before you condemn Judith and Dismas or the Galileans.”
Gabriel hardened his stare. He had a right to be angry and to fight if he wanted to. Furious, he said, “Those Galileans are supporting the men who corrupted Judith and Dismas. Of course I fought them.”
Disappointment showed in Nicodemus’ large round eyes. “You have not yet understood the teachings of Jesus, my son. Their wisdom explains why Judith and Dismas betrayed you. They didn’t set out to do it. They were led astray by their emotions. If you understood the power of their attraction, you might still be angry, but you would also feel compassion for them.”
Nicodemus paused and went to get the stool sitting beneath the window. He settled himself beside the bed and continued. “Judith and Dismas were unaware of the pain that’s driving them, and they made harmful choices based on ignorance. Your violence shows that you also don’t know yourself intimately, nor do you understand what brings happiness. If you want to be healed, you must not condemn others without acknowledging your own wounds and faults. As you do this, you grow in the inner knowledge that produces freedom.”
Gabriel swallowed hard to stop himself from raising his voice. “You should save those words for Judith and Dismas.”
Nicodemus laid a hand on the bed and kept his voice low. “I read the letter that Jesus wrote to Mary Magdalene, and I discovered many truths that Judith and Dismas need, but so do you and I. When sex is forbidden, its power to beguile the heart increases, because it comes from our dark, unknown self—a self filled with hidden feelings and sinister desires. Judith and Dismas became lost in the darkness, but they will soon learn that no couple can happily live there.”
Gabriel was struck by Nicodemus’ statement and leaned forward to hear more. “Why didn’t you tell me about this darkness before?”
“Because you weren’t ready. The letter discusses sexual matters in a way that most people never understand. It tells of Jesus’ struggles in his relationship with Mary Magdalene, and how he came to an enlightened understanding of sex. Now he wants to bring all of us to this enlightenment.”
Gabriel’s stomach tensed at the mention of Mary Magdalene. He remembered not only Mary’s striking beauty but also the emptiness in her eyes—the same emptiness that he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror. He searched Nicodemus’ face for understanding and kept his voice low. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew these things about Jesus and Mary Magdalene?”
Nicodemus hesitated a moment and then said, “Because I am still learning the letter’s teachings myself, and I can only speak from my incomplete knowledge.” He diverted his eyes from Gabriel’s and went on, “The heartbreak that Jesus endured because of his feelings for Mary Magdalene led him to examine his life. He yearned for her as passionately as any man ever yearned for a woman, but he spent hours praying about his feelings and developed an abiding respect for how sexual attraction flows from people’s souls and how it shapes them. Through his anguish, he arrived at the true purpose of his life, which is to preach the kingdom of God. In order to accept this dangerous mission, he decided that he must remain unmarried. Through his own turmoil and heartbreak, he developed a keen compassion for people’s suffering.”
Gabriel felt regret gnawing at his conscience. He had condemned Jesus without considering his struggle as a man—a struggle similar to Gabriel’s—to give up an impossible love. “I need to go to Jesus to find out if he’s as wise as you think.”
Nicodemus put a hand on Gabriel’s arm. “Please hear me out. In his letter to Mary Magdalene, Jesus reflected on the sexual wounds that have shaped our people’s history. For example, in Abraham’s family, the fierce rivalry between his wife, Sarah, and her maidservant, Hagar, caused heartbreak for all three, and for their sons Isaac and Ishmael. Jealousies erupted in Jacob’s family when he had sons by four women, his wives Leah and Rachel and their servants Zilpah and Bilhah. Jacob’s son Judah had sex with his daughter in-law Tamar, who bore him twins. Boaz was the son of Salmon and Rahab, the harlot of Jericho. And most notoriously, King David committed adultery with Bathsheba and then had her husband killed on the battlefield. Don’t you see, Gabriel? Jesus shows compassion and understanding to sexual sinners such as the prostitute at Simon’s house because he knew this painful history. He wrote the letter to show the way to healing.”
Gabriel stared at Nicodemus, wide-eyed. “If what you’re saying is true, it casts a different light on how Jesus treated Mary Magdalene.”
“Yes, but there’s more to it than that.” Nicodemus raised a finger as a teacher making a point would. “The letter acknowledges that sexual attraction can overwhelm us all. When it strikes, our lives feel out of control. We can think of little else, can hardly eat or sleep. Isn’t this the way you felt about Judith?”
Gabriel recalled studying Hebrew with Judith under their demanding teacher, Josiah ben Zakkai. The wiry and fun-loving Josiah took the class of five to the Garden of Gethsemane and had them read from the Torah. Gabriel often stumbled on words and asked for help, but Judith read Bible stories and texts of the law perfectly. Listening to her, surrounded by the spring grass, budding olive trees and flocks of sparrows soaring skyward, he heard more than a young girl’s voice. It was as if a voice other than Judith’s invited him to adventure, to discovery and joy. He often heard it in Judith’s presence, especially when she was with the neighborhood children. She played tag and hide-and-seek with them and word games that kept them giggling for hours. How could Gabriel not have loved her? Everyone did, and he was overjoyed when his father had arranged the match. He brought his gaze back to Nicodemus and frowned. “What good are the letter’s teachings to me? Judith has made her choice, and I must live with it.”
Nicodemus gazed slowly out the window, his voice sounding wistful as he said, “The letter says that when we fall in love, we are unaware of why we are attracted to the other person. We believe it’s because she is beautiful or intelligent, or because we are interested in the same things. But really what we see in the other person is some lost or disowned part of ourselves, or she reminds us of a past lover or one of our parents or someone who cared for us as children.”
Nicodemus moved to the foot of the bed. “Gabriel, when we see a person as more than human, we become disillusioned quickly. No mortal can embody godlike qualities for long. Eventually the person begins to appear ordinary—or worse. And we can end up angry and despairing because we believe we chose the wrong person, someone we realize we don’t even like, let alone love.”
Gabriel felt a chill spiral through him at Nicodemus’ words. The wise Pharisee could be describing Gabriel’s experience with Judith, and he wished that he had heard these teachings earlier. He wiped sweat from his forehead and asked, “Is all of this in the letter that Jesus wrote Mary Magdalene?”
Nicodemus gave him a wide smile. “And much more. Jesus provides guidance for living in harmony and peace. He reveals how to bring the unknown side of ourselves into the light of understanding. When we do this, we can choose our mates wisely because we are more aware of the illusions of falling in love. We consider the person’s character, depth and maturity; the values and interests we share; and whether we are really compatible. In order to find true love, we must accept the darkness in ourselves and in our mates. Then, when we get hurt by these people, we can empathize with the wounds that caused the hurtful behavior, and we can choose to love in spite of the maddening habits of our mates.”
Gabriel let out a sigh. “So our ability to love comes from both our light
and
our darkness?”
Nicodemus’ face brightened as he gave an affirming nod. “The letter emphasizes that true holiness brings the light and the darkness together, and I know from applying this wisdom to my own struggles with marriage that it can give a couple new life. Relating to one another becomes an opportunity for growth, for learning to love as God loves. You see, if we are not aware of our darkness, we will deny it or act it out unknowingly, as Judith and Dismas did, and we will cause great anguish. Really loving is so much harder than falling in love. It involves caring for a person even when the initial attraction has faded. For this we need the light.”
Gabriel didn’t move his eyes from Nicodemus’. “After what you’ve told me, I’m more determined than ever to find Jesus.” He began to get up.
“Not until you are well,” Nicodemus said, gently holding him back.
Gabriel pushed against Nicodemus’ arms. “I must go now.”
“You heard what your father said.”
“I don’t care.” Gabriel tried to throw him aside, but couldn’t. “I must go! Jesus is the only one who can stop the Zealots from destroying our country, and if I don’t warn him about Pilate’s rage, he could walk into a trap in Jerusalem.” He eyed the old Pharisee. “Now get out of my way!”
Nicodemus held him tightly. “I will see that he gets the warning; there is still time. For now you must rest. Besides, I have more to tell you about the letter.”
Gabriel stared at him, stone-faced. Was the wise old Pharisee right that there was time? Would Nicodemus warn Jesus as he promised? Gabriel couldn’t take the chance. He would go himself in case Jesus refused to listen to reason, as was often his way. But perhaps Nicodemus was right. He should wait a few days to be sure he was well enough to travel. While recovering he could hear the rest of what Nicodemus had to say. His promise might be a ploy to keep him in bed, but he had to admit that the Pharisee had captured his interest.