Read The Funeral Planner Online

Authors: Lynn Isenberg

The Funeral Planner

If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher, and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

 

THE FUNERAL PLANNER

 

Focus Media, Inc.

 

ISBN 0-9778923-2-8

 

Kindle ISBN: 978-1-61550-681-1

 

Copyright © 2005 by Lynn Isenberg

 

First published as a Red Dress Ink paperback 2005
First published as a Focus Media, Inc. paperback edition in 2010

 

All RIGHTS RESERVED. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Focus Media Inc, [email protected]

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and are not to be construed as real. While the author may have been inspired in part by actual events, none of the persons in the book is based on an actual person. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

 

® and ™ are trademarks. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and/or other countries.

 

Visit Focus Media at
www.focusmediamarketing.com

 

Printed in the U.S.A.

 

Author Photo by Megan Schoenbachler

 

Table of Sponsors

 

The Dignity Memorial Network®

 

Legacy.com
®

 

Eternal Image

 

ForeThought
®

 

GoDaddy.com
®

 

1800Flowers.com
®

 

EchoSign

 

Heardable.com

 

DNA2 Diamonds

 

Cadillac Travel Agency

 

Got Kosher, Inc.

 

Andiamo’s Italia Restaurants

 

BTB Burrito

 

Eagles Nest Restaurant

 

First Capital Funding Tribute to Nancy Newman

 

The National Hospice Foundation

 

Note: Sponsorship Ads and Valuable Offers located at the back of the book.

 

www.booksandbrandsinc.com

 

Be sure to check out these other titles in the series.

 

 

LYNN ISENBERG

Lynn Isenberg (
www.lynnisenberg.com
) is an Author, Multi-Media Producer, and Brand Strategist in entertainment media (film, TV, digital, publishing, live events). Her books and work have been featured on The Today Show, Fox News, The New York Times, and in other media globally. She holds a BA in Literature & Film from the University of Michigan and a Masters in Spiritual Psychology. Isenberg is the founder-CEO of Lights Out Enterprises

and The Tribute Network, the author of four novels and two non-fiction grief guidebooks, and creator of The Funeral Planner Digital Series. Her Screenwriter-Producer credits include MGM/UA’s “Youngblood,” Tri-Star/Columbia Pictures’ “I Love you to Death”, “True Vinyl”, and the Fine Living Network’s popular series “I: Design.” For more information visit
www.thetributenetwork.com
.

Chapters

 

Title Page

 

Copyright Page

 

1  Appendix A: Personnel Profile or Reflections of a Failed but Still Determined Entrepreneur

 

2  Missions and Visions: The Genesis of an Entrepreneurial Idea

 

3  Market Strategy: Lights Out Meets the Funeral Industry

 

4  Executive Summary: The Plan for Lights Out Enterprises

 

5  Rollout Strategy: Putting Reality to the Test

 

6  Financial Strategy: The Venture Capitalist Reprise

 

7  Operational Strategy: A Power Surge for Lights Out

 

8  Competitive Landscape: The Past Reprised—History Repeats Itself

 

9  Critical Success Factors: Diving into Grief

 

10 Organizational Strategy: The Resurrection of Lights Out

 

11 Risk & Mitigation: The Stakes Keep Rising

 

12 Finale: Playing Maddy’s Results—The Pièce de Résistance

 

13 Epilogue: Everyone’s Exit Strategy

 

 

Appendix A: Personnel Profile or

Reflections of a Failed but Still Determined Entrepreneur

 

T
he closet is dark all right.

Claustrophobic-dark. Suffocating-dark. And, well…casket-dark.

I plunge through racks of limp, hanging clothes, riffling for one particular outfit, wondering why all closets symbolize darkness.

Doesn’t the very word itself—
closet
—connote a sense of obscurity, a feeling of entrapment, or a space for concealment? And furthermore, why don’t closets have automatic lights? Closets with instant lighting would completely do away with their negative connotations. Think about it.

If you grew up with closets that blasted light every time you opened them, you might have a completely different association. One related to openness, illumination and optimism. On that note I ponder, why can’t caskets have power-generated lights inside so the dead don’t have to feel so alone in the dark? Okay, so they’re dead, they might not know the difference, but still…it might make their afterlife adventure less intimidating if they could see, metaphorically speaking, where they were going. It’s not such a far-fetched notion. I’ve heard stories of family members placing battery-powered cell phones inside the caskets of their loved ones. So why not internally-lit caskets for eternity?

Theories on darkness and light free fall in my mind as I stand solo in the narrow closet of my one-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles, unable to prepare for a task that I must prepare for: packing appropriate clothes to wear for a funeral in the dead of winter in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

I lift a wrinkled black linen skirt off a hanger and place it against my five-foot-three-inch frame. I stare at myself in the mirror. “Madison Banks, what are you doing? Linen in winter? Highly impractical.” I lower the skirt and face myself in mismatched underwear and bra that have both seen better days. I’m still in great shape. Lissome and toned, with dark brown hair and eyes, and oh, yes…a brain that never stops.

The whole experience of packing is one big déjà vu. It was only one year ago to the day that my cousin, Smitty, passed away. And now on my dresser sit two
yahrzeit
candles; both purchased last night at a local grocery store.

You’re probably wondering, what’s a
yahrzeit
candle? Wax and wick minijars that represent a Jewish custom for honoring the dead. The immediate family of the deceased lights one Y-candle on the anniversary of a loved one’s death and recites a prayer called
kaddish
. The candle burns for twentyfour hours in memory of the departed.

Granted, I am not a member of Smitty’s immediate family, but Smitty left a mark on me, and though I’m not a practicing religious Jew, I do have a great affinity for ritual.

Every day of every summer when I was a kid I went sailing on Clark Lake with my uncle Sam. I’d sail the Sunfish to shore, place a daisy in the bow, and thank it out loud for bringing us safely home. Rituals are what give me a sense of stability. They’re the only thing.

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