The Forgotten Child (20 page)

He leaned on his elbows, looking down at her and smoothed back her hair. She saw the fire glitter in his eyes still smoking within her. He pulled away, rolled on his back and threw his arm over his forehead.
Did he regret what we did?
Her heart sank for just a minute. She leaned over and touched his chest ever so lightly, almost fearful he may flee at any given moment. “Are you okay?”

He cupped her cheek, and she kissed his palm absorbing his touch. He winced as he pulled her close. Surrounding her with his arms, her legs tangled with his; he brushed his lips across her forehead and traced circles down her back.

She could feel something change inside him, as if he were pulling away. She waited with her cheek resting against his chest. She sucked in her bottom lip and pressed her teeth into the tender flesh, waiting for reality to speak. For him to say the words
Yeah, Em thanks, this was great, but I got to get Trevor home.

He smacked his lips. He sucked in a breath. Okay, here it comes. She scrunched her eyes closed. “Em, are you on the pill? I mean, we didn’t use a condom, which was really stupid.” She darted up and looked him squarely in the eye while his hands ran up her back, down and over her bottom. She blinked, trying to understand what he said. He raised one brow, expecting an answer. She blinked again. “No … there was never a need, I haven’t well, had … well, let’s just say it’s been over a year, but it’s the wrong time of the month. I’m pretty good at knowing when it’s … you know…” This was really embarrassing, even after what they shared. She’d never thought about it.

His lips twitched at her demure way of explaining. Then he held her face between the palms of his hands, forcing her to look at him and he crooked his eyebrow up. “Em, come on just admit it, we didn’t use any protection, and there’s a pretty big chance you’re carrying my kid now.”

She shivered, at the thought of carrying his child. Wow, until now, she’d not thought of having more “God, how I’d love to have your baby.” Where had they come from? She slapped her hand over her mouth, wishing it back. It was too soon; she could scare him away. But she was so tired of hiding her feelings. She didn’t want to take it back.

Brad said nothing; just watched her in an odd distant way. She wanted to ask if he wanted more children, if he’d stay. She wanted to know what he was thinking. But she said nothing as she slid her leg with his and snuggled in closer. And for a moment as she shut her eyes, dreamed of a forever connection.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Emily rested her elbow on the kitchen table. She sipped on a second cup of coffee, searching the hot black liquid for some sign or answer. The wall clock ticked, after eleven, Bob promised to return Katy before lunch on Sunday, so he could pull in anytime

Brad had stayed all night. And true to his word, he’d made love to her throughout the night, waking her several times. Although tired, she felt more energized than she had in years. She’d cooked a big breakfast for Brad and Trevor. They’d lingered over a few cups of coffee. Neither wanted this to end. But he had no choice. He had a ranch to run. He needed to leave.

Never had Emily felt the intense comfort of being with the right guy; the one who sends your heart and soul to the natural high and if they leave, you’d swear your heart will blister into a million pieces. Emily held up her bare ring finger, not even a flicker of remorse because with Bob, she’d never experienced this kind of passion, this kind of bliss. Waking in Brad’s arms, as he slowly entered her was a passion far more vivid, more potent, she’d swear she’d died and gone to heaven, or someplace close. Even the shower they shared after the sun had come up had been filled with such creative passion. Emily rinsed out her mug and wandered to the front window. She sighed, wishing Brad to return. But he left after kissing her long and thoughtfully, without promises, or frilly words—nothing. He had a dragon to slay, a conflict to end. Afterward he’d return and be her everything.

Chapter Thirty-Three

For the first time in what felt like forever, Brad felt the oppressive weight lift off. Watching Emily come apart beneath him, her shy glances and her tender touch, it was the purest, simplest form of love. He shook his head. Five years ago, he’d never have given her a second look. But right now, he wanted to get down on his knees and thank whomever steered her his way. Emily was a complicated, wise and powerful soul and Brad knew the short, feisty, brown haired beauty would fight heaven and earth for what was right. The opposite of the shallow flashy women he’d always gravitated too.

Brad turned down his long dirt driveway, and felt the heaviness drop back down on him like a sack of potatoes. How could he hate a place he loved so much?

He swallowed hard as he remembered what a shallow, stupid ass he was. He created this mess because of who he was. He loved that superficial lust with Crystal, she looked good hanging off his arm and that’s all he ever wanted, anything deeper would have sent him running for the hills.

Brad scratched his head and glanced at Trevor as he remembered Crystal’s horror, the day she found out she was pregnant. Brad had laughed and brushed it off to simple hysterics, that she was scared of being a mother and convinced himself she’d get used to it. Only as he allowed himself to face the truth, did he now realize it was more than that; Crystal never wanted children, because she was still very much a child.

She couldn’t care for someone who depended on her. She wasn’t that strong, or was she too selfish? Reflecting and admitting the truth was a bitter pill to swallow; he cared for her then. A one-sided deal.

Crystal looked after the surface stuff, spending his money, redecorating the house, enjoying a lifestyle she actually believed she was entitled too.

An only child doted upon by her mother and father. They were by no means wealthy, but they’d given her anything and everything she’d ever wanted. There were no teachings of the value of money, commitment and responsibility. But then, Brad hadn’t listened either.

His daddy was a good man. He’d pulled him aside weeks before the wedding, reminding him this was his choice and his alone to live with. That he would never say another word, but he expected him to listen now. Girls like Crystal were fun to play with. She was shallow and not the marrying kind; she’ll never be devoted to you and any kids you want. Brad had been furious and lashed out at his father. He’d told him he was just jealous he’d found someone this dazzling. His father nearly hit him. Brad winced now as he squeezed the steering wheel in his truck. He was ashamed; he wished his father would’ve decked him. He deserved it. Because Brad hadn’t spoken to his father since, his mom, infrequent, but he never told her what was going on.

As the oldest, the ranch passed to Brad. His father and younger brother bought 10,000 acres down on the Yucatan Peninsula—their idea of a small ranch.

He visited his mother once, with Crystal right after Trevor was born. His father then was in Panama, whether planned or coincidence, Brad didn’t know. Now he wished for his daddy’s advice, to make peace and bridge the gulf widening with each day’s passing.

When he and Crystal married he looked after her, handled everything. He paid the bills, was generous with providing her money and credit cards. She’d no concept of value and continually exceeded her credit limit.

The first time he spoke with her, he’d been blunt. “I’m not an untapped well.”

She panicked and carried on in such a way anyone would have thought the world was coming to an end. He was astounded by what she spent on clothes alone. She never batted an eye at dropping a few thousand on a designer outfit. Shopping was her favorite past time and he’d always given in, especially after she became pregnant.

So when did the blinders come off?

After she had Trevor, Brad truly believed she’d take one look at him and fall in love, just as he had. That she’d stay home; become a good wife and doting mother. He was sure the inbred nurturing instinct that existed in women from the beginning of time would finally emerge. He just assumed it was natural.

But nothing went as planned. After she gave birth, she’d refused to hold him. He’d watched painfully as she seemed to go into a depressive slump, more concerned with how she looked and what giving birth and the pregnancy had done to her body.

Brad made excuses for her behavior. It was the ordeal of giving birth, she was tired and she’d come around. But the nurses new better, he’d ignored their knowing looks, especially after her outright refusal to breast-feed when the nurse had encouraged her to try and get him latched on. The nurse tried to explain the importance of a mother’s milk. She’d screamed back she didn’t want her breasts to get
saggy.

Brad didn’t worry too much as many mothers chose to bottle-feed. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.

Things escalated after they were home. She wanted a nanny for Trevor. Brad put his foot down and refused. He lost his temper. “As Trevor’s mother, I expect you look after him.” She’d screamed like a two year old and called her mother. Of course, the next thing Brad new, his mother-in law moved in and was looking after the baby. Betty had a heart condition. After weeks of looking after the baby and Crystal, dark circles appeared under her eyes. Brad sat her down. “What the hell are you doing, Betty?”

She cried and hung her head. “I’m so sorry, Brad, me and Crystal’s daddy are to blame. We loved her so much and we struggled when we were growing up; we didn’t want her to have to do without. Not like we did. I’m so sorry, Brad; we never taught her responsibility or how to make her own way. We made everything easy for her.”

Brad felt horrible for the woman’s pain, but he didn’t make it easier. “She expects everything to be handed to her, for you to wait hand and foot on her. You have to stop. You’re not helping the situation. She’ll never grow up.”

Betty had stiffened her lip. “She’s my daughter and I love her. And I love that Grandbaby. I can’t stop.” And she didn’t, she doted all her love on Trevor until a few months later, she suffered a stroke in her sleep one night and passed away in the hospital a few days later. It had nearly destroyed Crystal.

Crystal had been like a lost child, turning to Brad, not knowing what to do. Her father had died ten years earlier. Brad remained hopeful that now she’d finally become a mother to Trevor. Instead, what happened rocked his world. She packed her bags and slipped out of the house a week later, leaving Trevor alone. Mary Haske had arrived to clean just before lunchtime and heard the pitiful wail of a crying baby. Brad had foolishly left him with Crystal and he headed to the North field.

Mary had searched the house looking for Crystal. When Brad drove the tractor in to have lunch, he found a ruffled Mary, irate and panicked, holding Trevor in her arms.

She must have been watching, as she raced out of the house. Her eyes damp and red rimmed, and his heart dropped like lead into his stomach when he heard those gut-wrenching words. She’d found Trevor alone crying in his crib, no one there to hear him. She had been furious and demanded to know where Crystal was. His blood ran cold, at first he thought she was hurt somewhere, as he hurried into the house to search. Instead, he’d felt the center drop out of him when he raced into the bedroom, pulled open the closet to discover her clothes, makeup, jewelry, everything was gone. The fury that stole over him, that she could have left Trevor alone, made him physically shake with fear. What if Mary hadn’t come? He’d collapsed to the floor right in front of Mary. Then when it sunk in, he put his fist through the wall and bloodied his knuckles. That physical pain was welcome. The other was not. The tears stung the back of his eyes as he held his boy tight for a long time, before leaving him in the care of Mary Haske.

Brad spent a week tracking Crystal down. It was through his credit cards he was able to find her in Hawaii, at a beachside resort. He’d left several messages with the hotel operator. But she never returned his calls. Two days later, Brad had been pole axed as he’d waited in her hotel room, when she came in wearing a string bikini, laughing, and giggling with some guy.

He still remembered the humiliation as he left without her. Crystal stayed away. The weeks turned into months. He kept track of where she was. She only phoned when she needed money and never once did she ask about Trevor.

Now after all these years she’d come home, to suddenly be Trevor’s mother? He knew it wasn’t true. She could barely stand being in the same room with him. And if by chance she was, she always found a reason to leave. Brad would never be that careless again. He saw it in her eyes; she worried Brad would demand her to look after him. No, he would never do that again. Then it struck him, it was the security he offered. He’d become her safety net. He handled everything for her, allowed her to have anything she wanted. Even with her gone for the last few years, he foolishly continued to pay for everything for her, but no more. She’d made a big mistake. She’d used this child, his precious child. And she’d forced the one woman who truly cared for him and Trevor, out of his house. Emily, who had fought for Trevor’s future and helped him see what Trevor truly needed.

“
Home sweet home, Trevor.”

He’d barely lifted Trevor from the Truck when Crystal stormed out, decked out, as if she was going to town, wearing black jeans, a white blouse, not a hair out of place.

And the way she dug in with each step, Brad knew hell would be a lot more peaceful.