The Forest Ranger's Christmas (5 page)

Clint shrugged. “It’s a game they’ve played before.”

Understanding filled her mind. Memories washed over her as she listened to her grandfather’s deep chuckles. When she’d been young, he’d played with her in much the same way. Making her feel loved and wanted. Helping her forget her sad childhood back at home.

“I guess I’ve missed a lot of fun times with my grandparents over the past few years. I’ve been too busy with work.” Though she didn’t want Gramps to get overly tired on this excursion, she was glad to see him having fun.

“You’re making up for it now.” Clint’s words sounded a bit reluctant.

She turned, her gaze resting on him as he lifted his chain saw from its case. He used an Allen wrench to move the bar out and tighten up the chain. With a knit cap pulled low across his ears and his blunt chin sporting a hint of stubble, he looked completely masculine and content to be up on this mountain cutting trees.

“Better late than never, huh?” she asked.

“It’s never too late with family.” He spoke without looking up.

His words brought her a bit of comfort. And standing there in the forest, her feet cold in the snow, Josie realized her family meant everything to her now. Once Gramps was gone, she’d have no one left. No husband or children to call her own. And maybe that was for the best. Remembering her parent’s ugly divorce, she decided being alone was preferable to being miserable in a bad marriage. Wasn’t it?

She contemplated Gramps as he pushed himself up, brushed the snow off his blue coveralls, then followed Gracie over to inspect another tree.

“I worry about him.” Josie spoke absentmindedly.

Clint looked up from his task. “That’s as it should be, but I think he’s doing okay.”

“I don’t agree. Not after spending two solid days cleaning his grubby house. I want him to move to Las Vegas with me. If he will, I’ve scheduled him to move into an assisted-living center in mid-January.”

Clint dropped the Allen wrench, his brow creased in a startled frown. The wrench disappeared into the snow and he plunged his hand down to retrieve it. “I doubt he’ll like that. It won’t fit. Not for a man like Frank.”

Hearing her own fears voiced out loud did little for Josie’s self-confidence. Maybe she’d said too much. Maybe she shouldn’t confide in this man. But she couldn’t help feeling drawn to his open kindness.

“Have you told Frank about your plans?” Clint asked.

She shook her head, her eyes meeting his. “Not yet. I haven’t found the right time. I’m hoping to convince him it’s for the best. Then I plan to start boxing up his things while I’m here.”

“And what about his house? I understand it’s been in your family a long time.”

She lifted one shoulder. The thought of never returning to Gramps’s home made her feel suddenly sad, as if she’d be losing an old friend. “Keeping the house isn’t as important as Gramps. I thought we could either close it up, rent it out, or sell it. It depends on what he wants to do.”

Clint didn’t respond. From his glum expression, she felt his disapproval like a leaden weight. And she didn’t like that. For some reason, this man’s opinion mattered to her.

“Have you asked the Lord what you should do?”

She snorted, brushing her long bangs out of her eyes. “You mean pray?”

Clint nodded, looking serious. And something shifted inside her. She longed to believe he was right. That maybe God did care about her and Gramps, and that He would help them if she just asked. But wretched experience had taught her otherwise.

“No,” she said.

“You don’t believe in God?”

She lowered her head, not knowing what to believe. Too much sadness clouded her life. But somewhere deep inside, she wondered if it wasn’t too late to start trusting in God again. “Let’s just say the Lord and I kind of leave each other alone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She didn’t like this topic. As far as she was concerned, winning God’s approval was just setting her up for another failed relationship. All her life, she’d worked hard to do her best. Trying to prove herself over and over again. In spite of her efforts, it had never brought her the love she craved. God didn’t care about her. Otherwise, why had He taken her parents away when she needed them the most? Why had Daryl and Edward broken off their engagements with her?

Why was she so unlovable?

“I don’t have a lot of options, Clint. I want to do what’s right for Gramps, but I won’t do something he doesn’t like.”

“Oh, he’ll have plenty to say about moving to Las Vegas, I can promise you that.”

That’s what she feared. “I can’t just leave him here all alone.”

The ranger nodded. “I understand. And I don’t envy you this problem. It’s tough to know what to do when a family member grows old. From listening to the evening news, I know we’ve got an epidemic of senior citizens in this nation, many with adult children who don’t want to take care of them. I’m glad you’re not one of those. But first, you should ask Frank what he wants.”

“I will. Of course I will. But please don’t say anything until I have a chance to discuss it with him.”

“I won’t,” Clint promised. “But I doubt he’ll want to leave Camlin. This is his home.”

“I know, but I live and work in Vegas. My job there is a good one and I love it. I have to earn a living and there aren’t many options for me here in Camlin. As Gramps gets older, who will mow his lawn, clean his house or make sure he eats right? I’ve heard horrible stories of elderly people falling in their homes and lying on the floor for days until someone finds them. I don’t want that to happen to my grandpa.”

Clint glanced at her, his eyes filled with compassion. “Hmm, it sounds as though you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“I have, believe me. I’ve visited a number of assisted-living centers in Vegas and made arrangements for Gramps to live at the best one. I just need him to agree, and then I’ll call to confirm my reservation.” Again, she had no idea why she was telling the forest ranger all this. He was much too easy to talk to. So open and honest. In spite of everything that had happened over the past few days, she felt as though she’d known him all her life. A crazy idea if ever she’d had one.

“I’m impressed,” he said.

She tilted her head. “Why?”

He jerked off his right glove before twining his long fingers around the Allen wrench to get a better grip. “In all honesty, I didn’t figure you really cared. I thought your grandfather was just a nuisance you’d rather avoid.”

She sucked back a startled breath. “No! I love Gramps very much. I always have. But he’s also a grown man with his own life. I don’t want to take away his independence. I want to help him.”

Clint met her gaze. “Good. I’m glad to know I was wrong.”

“He’s my grandfather. Why would you think I don’t care about him?”

The ranger averted his gaze, seeming embarrassed to be caught judging someone else without all the facts. “Let’s just say you haven’t come around here much.”

“That’s because I have a job. Getting time off work to drive ten hours one way isn’t easy. I can’t help Gramps if he stays here. But if he moves to Vegas, I can visit him often and ensure he’s well cared for.” She couldn’t help bristling with defense, and felt the hackles rise on the back of her neck.

“You make a valid point. There aren’t many decent job options in a town like Camlin. I didn’t mean any offense. So, what are you going to do?”

She lifted her gaze to where Gramps was engaged in a snowball fight with Gracie, just as he’d done with Josie when she’d been young. “I’m going to try and convince him to move to Vegas with me.”

Clint nodded. “That might be for the best. Just tell him the truth. All things are possible with the Lord. And don’t worry. It’ll all work out.”

His optimism did little to inspire trust in Josie. For so long, she’d depended on no one but herself. It felt good to confide in someone, even if it was this stranger.

She shifted her weight uneasily. “I hope you’re right.”

“I am, but don’t wait too long. It’s best to say the words and get them over with. Then the two of you can plan together what to do.”

“This one and that’s it,” Gracie hollered from the other side of the clearing.

“You’re sure? No changing your mind again,” Gramps warned.

“I’m sure.” The girl nodded, standing straight and stiff like a little soldier.

Their voices echoed through the air. Good thing this wasn’t an avalanche area, or they’d be buried under a river of snow by now.

Clint looked up, a smile curving his full lips. He stood and jogged over to his daughter. “I’m afraid that tree is too big for our living room, but it might work in Frank’s house.”

Everyone turned to look at Josie, silently waiting for her opinion. She studied Gracie’s tree with a critical eye.

“Yes, it’s very nice. That would be fine for us. And what about this one for your home? Will it work for you?” Josie pointed at the smaller tree Clint had been preparing to cut, its thick branches weighted by snow.

Clint crunched his way back to Gracie’s tree and knocked a waterfall of white off the branches. “This tree is lovely. Nice and compact, with soft bristles. What do you think, short stuff?”

He glanced at his daughter and waited. The child smiled widely, sending an arrow of emotion straight to Josie’s heart. She sensed that bringing her and Gramps on this outing had made a big difference for the little girl, and Josie wasn’t certain why. She understood feelings of loneliness and suspected perhaps Gracie missed her mom as much as Josie missed her parents.

Gracie shrugged happily. “Okay by me.”

Clint arched one brow. “You’re sure? No changing your mind once I start to cut.”

“I’m sure.” She nodded several times.

Now that it was settled, Frank held the first tree while Clint started up the chain saw and sliced through the slim trunk. The drone of the engine filled Josie’s ears and she moved away. Sawdust spewed into the air. As the first tree swayed, Clint glanced around to find his daughter, and Josie realized he was always conscious of Gracie’s whereabouts. His attentiveness toward his child made Josie like him even more.

“She’s over here.” Josie pointed to where the girl was rolling a hard-packed snowball around on the ground.

“I’m making a snowman,” Gracie announced.

The girl continued her chore, building the base of the body. “Come on, Josie. Make a snowman with me,” she called.

At first, Josie stared at the child in stunned disbelief. Make a snowman? At her age? Absurd. She was too old for such nonsense.

Or was she?

No! She was on holiday and determined to have fun. That’s why she’d come home. To be with Gramps and celebrate. To satisfy her craving for family. She just wished she’d bought a pair of winter boots first.

Trudging through the snow, Josie decided to ignore her frozen toes and preconceived notions about propriety. Instead, she rolled the middle section. Once it was ready, Gracie struggled to help her lift the heavy weight onto the base. As they slapped extra snow into the crevices to smooth out the roundness, Josie couldn’t help feeling an element of satisfaction. This was just what she needed. A fun outing with her grandfather to remind her that life wasn’t all work and no play. That maybe she wasn’t alone in this world, after all.

Although it didn’t make sense, Josie felt better having voiced her concerns to Clint. For so long she’d carried her burdens alone. No one to talk to. No one to brainstorm with.

No one who cared.

Clint had encouraged her to tell Gramps the truth and get it over with. But that was easier said than done. She’d never thought of herself as a coward, but now she dreaded a possible confrontation that might alienate her grandfather. No matter what, she didn’t want Gramps to think she didn’t love him.

She just hoped Clint was right, and everything would turn out right.

Chapter Five

“D
addy, look at the snowman Josie and I made.”

Clint turned at his daughter’s call and watched Josie lift the snowman’s head into place. “Yes, sweetheart. It’s great.”

But his eyes were on Josie. She’d removed her earmuffs and adjusted her hair back off her cheeks. The afternoon sun glinted on her blond curls. She exhaled and sniffed as she worked, her nose and cheeks red from the cold. Her lilting laughter filtered over him and he couldn’t help smiling. Realizing he was staring, he jerked his attention back to Frank.

“Our girls are happy today,” the older man said.

Our girls.
Those words did something to Clint. A sudden rush of warmth flooded his chest. He tried to swallow, but a lump of emotion jammed his throat.

When he’d invited the Rushtons on this excursion, he’d thought it would be good for Frank and Josie to get away from their cares for a while. He hadn’t realized how much he and Gracie needed it, too. He’d always taken his daughter with him for activities like this. They had lots of fun and spent quality time together, but something was always missing. And Clint knew what it was.

A mom.

Shaking his head, he picked up the hacksaw and trimmed off the scraggly branches at the base of the first tree. He’d been over this dilemma a trillion times before and didn’t want to think about it anymore. He’d failed Karen. He didn’t want to fail another woman. He wouldn’t put Gracie through that kind of trauma. It was that simple.

“Something’s bothering her,” Frank said.

Clint looked up, his gaze zoning in on Josie like a heat-seeking missile. He didn’t want to get involved, especially since she had confided in him earlier. But maybe it was already too late. He couldn’t help caring about Frank and, by default, his pretty granddaughter.

“Why don’t you ask her about it?” he suggested.

“Maybe I will,” Frank said.

Clint just hoped Josie remained calm about the issue. From past experience, he found most women to be high-strung, emotional creatures. He’d grown accustomed to nervous suspicion in Karen’s eyes. When she was happy, life was grand. But it never lasted long. After Gracie was born, postpartum depression had set in. He’d tried his hardest to provide emotional support. To give Karen the love and encouragement she’d needed and craved. But the demands of his job had constantly taken him away. He couldn’t stay home and earn a living at the same time. In spite of getting her medication and a qualified doctor’s care, Clint had never been able to help Karen expel the demons of depression that shackled her mind.

It’d been seven long years since Karen’s death. Not nearly long enough for Clint to recover from the guilt. Gracie had been so young at the time. Barely five months old. So innocent and lovable. A little girl who needed her mom. After Karen’s death, Clint had wanted to give up. To quit. But he couldn’t. He had Gracie to think about. He’d lived for her, determined to keep her safe and to raise her with all the love he could shower upon her.

Life hadn’t been easy, moving on without Karen. Finding quality child care for his precious daughter. Meeting Gracie’s needs while keeping his employer satisfied. But the Lord had buoyed Clint up. Through the power of prayer, he’d found the strength to carry on. To keep moving forward even when he floundered in the depths of despair. Gracie was always his first priority.

Now, Josie Rushton had entered his life like a blast of fresh summer air after a long, chilling winter. At first, he’d thought her career came first. But seeing how she acted with Frank and Gracie, he wasn’t so sure. Discovering she was gravely concerned for Frank’s welfare challenged Clint’s preconceived notions about the woman. He certainly never would have suspected she wanted Frank to move with her to Vegas.

Clint briefly entertained the thought of asking Josie out on a date, but decided no. With a child to raise, he didn’t have the luxury of going out with just anyone. He must be careful. Above all else, he had to protect Gracie, and the last thing they needed in their lives right now was another high-maintenance woman with deep emotional issues. That’s what Clint feared Josie might be.

A sharp crack sounded as the second tree started to fall. Frank gripped the trunk with his gloved hands and Clint jumped out of the way. The tree dropped, its branches shivering as it hit the ground. Frank’s breath rushed in and out of his lungs like a laboring ventilator.

Glancing at the elderly man, Clint wondered if this physical activity was too much for him. “You okay?” he asked.

Frank grinned, as though having the time of his life. “I sure am. I’m with my family. What could be better than that?”

Clint’s heart gave a powerful squeeze. He loved this old man, no doubt about it. But for them to become a real family, he’d have to marry Josie. And that wasn’t going to happen. Not now. Not ever.

Wondering how Frank had cut so many trees on his own, Clint took the brunt of the tree’s weight. Without discussion, he dragged the fallen fir over to his truck and hefted it into the back. Within twenty minutes, he had the second tree loaded and ready to go.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” he crowed in victory.

Gracie squealed with excitement and Clint reached inside the truck for the thermos and cups. While his daughter stuck two rock eyes onto the snowman’s face, Josie jabbed sticks into the rounded body for arms. Clint whipped out the camera he kept stowed in the glove box.

“Smile,” he called.

The two girls posed together, with Gracie standing on a fallen tree trunk. At that height she was able to stretch her arm up and hold two fingers over the top of Josie’s head.

When she discovered what the little girl was up to, Josie tickled her. “Oh, I’m going to get you now.”

Gracie shrieked and wriggled away. Clint snapped several more pictures of the two chasing each other through the snow. They finally came running toward him, gasping from their exertions. Clint laughed, for no other reason than because he felt happy inside. He handed Josie a cup of chocolate and a pair of thick socks from his fire pack.

She lifted the gray wool between two fingers and stared as though she held a dead rat. “What is this?”

“Socks. Don’t worry. They’re clean.”

She crinkled her nose with disgust. “But what are they for?”

“Your cold feet. For the trip home.” His lips twitched, but he forced himself not to laugh.

“Thanks.” She smiled, the expression lighting up her face and making her eyes sparkle.

Wow, she was lovely.

“I believe I’m going to need them. I can’t feel my toes anymore,” she finally conceded.

“Yeah, I’d hate to have to amputate. Why don’t you climb inside the truck and I’ll get the heater going. We need to warm you up.”

As she headed for the truck, she laughed, not seeming overly upset by the discomfort. Again he couldn’t help contrasting her positive attitude with how Karen might have reacted. The difference was amazing.

When Josie bumped into Clint and gave a nervous apology, he felt the overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her. Right there in the middle of the mountain, with Frank and Gracie watching.

What an odd notion. Just thinking about it made Clint’s face heat up like a flamethrower. And he realized in all these long, lonely years, he hadn’t found one single woman who’d made him feel like laughing again.

Until today.

* * *

“Thanks for the Christmas tree. This outing meant a great deal to Gramps.” It meant a lot to Josie, too.

Standing outside in front of Gramps’s house, she smiled up at Clint and folded her arms against the chilly wind. The cold air stung her nose. After Clint had deposited their Christmas tree inside, she’d walked him and Gracie out to their truck, wanting an opportunity to thank the ranger for his kindness.

“All things considered, you’re not quite the bully I first thought you were,” she confessed with a smile.

He quirked one brow high and tried not to laugh. “Is that right? Well, I’m glad to hear it. I think.”

She squelched a chuckle, thinking it was very good, since she’d be forced to work with him over the next few weeks while Gramps learned to read.

“I’ll return your socks as soon as I can wash them.”

He jutted his chin toward her feet, which were covered by the pair of blue fuzzy slippers she’d slipped on the moment she got inside. “Keep in mind that they’re wool. They won’t do well in your clothes dryer.”

She nodded. “So noted. Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome.” Clint flashed that devastating smile of his as he buckled Gracie into her seat and closed the truck door.

A bank of clouds brooded overhead. By morning, they’d have more snow. Thick shadows swallowed Clint’s tall frame as he circled around to the driver’s side. He brushed against Josie’s arm and she caught his spicy scent of pine and aftershave. She backed up a step, trying to remember the last time a man had given her goose bumps just by being near her.

Like never. Not even her two ex-fiancés.

No, she shouldn’t think such thoughts. Her dedication to her career had come with a price. But now, she couldn’t help thinking that work wasn’t what had destroyed her past relationships with her dad, mom and former fiancés. And God, too. Josie was difficult to love. She accepted that. But it didn’t stop her from wanting it.

“You sure you can’t stay for supper?” she asked. “It’s the least I can offer after you helped us get our tree. I’ve got a beef stew simmering in the Crock-Pot and there’s plenty for everyone.”

Inside the truck, Gracie’s eyes widened with enthusiasm and she bobbed her head up and down.

“Nah, we’ve got to get going,” Clint said. “I took the afternoon off work to go get the trees, but now duty calls.”

His generosity touched Josie’s heart and she could no longer begrudge the illiteracy issue with Gramps. She realized Clint had nothing but Frank’s best interests at heart. Rather than turning his back on the old man, Clint had shown an increase of love. He’d gone out of his way to help them get a Christmas tree. And he’d lent her a pair of warm socks. Such a simple act of kindness, but it meant the world to Josie. She couldn’t think of the ranger as an enemy. Not anymore. But that didn’t mean they were more than friends. And in a small way she regretted that.

Okay, in a big way. But she’d never admit it out loud.

Waving goodbye, she returned to the warmth of the house. Gramps helped her set the table, and laughed as they discussed their day.

“You should have seen your face when Gracie chose yet another tree,” he said.

“Yeah, that little girl is something special.”

So was Gracie’s father, but Josie didn’t say that.

“I’ll have to dig out the ornaments so we can trim our tree,” he said.

“I’ll do it, Gramps. Where did Grandma store the decorations?”

“Up in the attic. But let’s not tackle it tonight. I’m bushed.” He yawned and stretched before sitting down at the table.

As she dished up the stew, Josie felt the same. Running around in the snow all afternoon had worn both of them out. In spite of the fuzzy slippers she now wore, she wondered if her feet would ever get warm again. Maybe after dinner she’d dash down to the general store before it closed. With another storm on its way, she would need boots tomorrow morning. “Our tree isn’t going anywhere. I need to call and check in with my work, anyway. We can string lights and decorate the tree over the next few days.”

If only she could forget the kind, enigmatic forest ranger who had just left Gramps’s house, Josie might feel more at peace. She tried to tell herself she wasn’t relationship material. After the cruel words Edward had said to her when he’d broken off their engagement, she had no desire to become romantically involved with another man ever again. Especially a widowed father with a little daughter to raise.

Okay, that wasn’t true, either. But Josie figured if she kept telling herself that, she might actually start believing it. Eventually. After all, it’d do no good to hope for things that could never be. And yet she couldn’t help feeling as if maybe, just maybe, she deserved one more chance at happiness.