The Forest at the Edge of the World (26 page)

Perrin was silent for a moment. “Really?”

“Really, what?” Mahrree asked.

“Really they don’t
want
to give the baby baths? I thought that sounded like fun.”

Mahrree sat up and looked in his dark eyes. There was no glint.
“You’re serious?”

“Well, yes. What’s the point of having children if you don’t e
xperience the whole thing? It’d be like preparing for a fishing trip, setting up camp, sitting by the river, but then never dropping your line. What’s the point? And it’s not a successful trip unless someone gets soaking wet. Besides,” he continued, suddenly sheepish, “Hogal once argued with my father that children aren’t here to be our legacy, or honor us, or even entertain us. They’re here to educate us—”

Mahrree just stared at him.

“—in how to be more like the Creator.” He shrugged. “Leadership is actually service-ship. I supposed I could use a bit more education, especially in that regard.”

“So,” she said, now confused. “What were you going to warn me about?”

“That I have no idea how to change the cloths, so I’ll need some help the first few times. Now what’s
that
look for?”

“Someone will have to teach
me
first,” she murmured.

“What?”

“Nothing. Perrin, have I told you yet that you are absolutely
the
most perfect man in the entire world, and that I love and adore you beyond words can express?”

A grin slowly grew on his face. “I’m sure I would have reme
mbered. That’s a good line. Feel free to remind me anytime.”

Mahrree felt the opportunity was also perfect. “Can I ask you another question, not on either of our lists?”

“After calling me the most perfect man in the world, how can I deny you?”

Chapter 14 ~ “Keep a closer eye

on this one.”

M
ahrree had him right where she wanted him.

“Perrin, the other night when we were talking, you started to say something about the Administrators.”

The spark in his eyes dimmed. “So?”

“You don’t entirely trust them, do you?”

His eyes softened, but the spark didn’t return. “The army and the government rarely see eye-to-eye. You have enough history books on your shelves to know that.”

“I’m not talking about the past, Perrin,” she said with sweet d
etermination, “I’m talking about now.”

He searched her face. “I haven’t told you yet, but you are the
most
beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that because I want you to marry me,” he winked. “You’re truly exquisite.”

He slipped his thick fingers through her light brown hair, gently twisting the ends around.

“Your little nose, those incredible pink lips, your green—No, wait—gray eyes. But there’s some brown.
Your eyes
—”

So desperate he was to avoid discussing the Administrators that he was about to attempt—Mahrree suspected and feared—poetry.

“Your eyes remind me of a . . . of a field of green after a rainstorm, when the mushrooms pop up, all brown and beige—those poisonous one, you know? The ones that—”

He must have noticed her mouth twisting in amusement.

He sighed in exasperation. “Clearly I’m not skilled in romantic talk.”

“Fortunately for you, neither am I!” She laughed. “Comparing a woman’s eyes to lethal fungus?”

He smirked. “So exactly
what
color are your eyes?”

“Might as well ask me the color of the sky.”

“Well,
anyway
,” he tried again in his attempt to sidetrack her, “you must have turned many men’s heads over the years. They just couldn’t turn yours, and for that I’m most grateful you think me perfect. You’re perfect for me.”

“Thank you!” she blushed. She recognized his diversionary ta
ctic, although he did seem sincere about his compliments and she enjoyed his flattery.

Besides, it gave her an idea.

She’d read a few silly love stories when she was a teenager, trying to understand her friends and their longings for admirers. Most of the secretive tales were slid from girl to girl under desks where teachers wouldn’t notice, and were so sappy that she was surprised the well-worn pages weren’t stuck together from the goo. She’d taken to skimming pages of uncomfortable details, hoping her eyes would fall on something interesting or even useful. She was always disappointed. But it was strange how bits and pieces of things she really didn’t want to read were the parts that were so difficult to purge from her memory.

And yet, she considered, a couple of those bits just might come in handy right about now . . .

“That someone like you would even
notice
someone like me . . .” She sighed. “Can I do something I wanted to do the first moment I saw you?”

“Perhaps,” he said slowly. “Depends on what that is.”

“Well, at first I wanted to hit you with a stick—”

“You wouldn’t have been the first female.” He rubbed the faint scar on his forehead.

“Really? And what did you compare her eyes to?”

“They weren’t like yours, all brownish-gray, with green, and bits of gold like straw—” he tried again.

“Hmm. I think you just described the colors of horse manure,” Mahrree decided.

His face lit up. “Yes!”

He realized his mistake a second too late.

“I mean, no!”

But Mahrree was already laughing. “The affect you have on women!”

Perrin growled quietly, but smiled. “I do believe her eyes were blue—”

“All the more reason you insulted her by declaring her eyes to be the color of manure.”

His growling grew louder. “I didn’t—” He gave up before tr
ying. “Go ahead and believe I have no influence with women.”

Mahrree had a worrying thought.

“She . . . uh, wasn’t
pretty
, was she?”

The lines around his mouth did closest thing to possible to a swagger. “What would you expect from a girl who falls for me? But I must confess she was quite
unappealing
. Of course, what kind of a judge of beauty was I when I was only eleven?”

Mahrree didn’t mean for her relief to come out in such a loud exhale.

He chuckled. “Weren’t you about to do something a minute ago?” he reminded.

“Oh, yes! What I
really
wanted to do at that first debate was this.” Satisfied that her only competition was seventeen years ago, she slowly ran her fingers through his black hair.

He closed his eyes partway.

“And here I thought Hogal was being silly about my not wearing my cap. Anything else you wanted to do?” He grinned.

“Actually,” she blushed again as she stroked some of his short hairs on his neck, “do you remember the second Holy Day meeting? I purposely sat a few rows behind you.”

His eyes opened. “Oh, I remember. I was watching for you to come in, until Hogal motioned that you were already behind me.”

“I did that on purpose,” she confessed. “I didn’t want you to see me turning red whenever you looked at me.”

“I love watching you blush.” He slid a finger over her cheek. “That’s why I started winking at you. Gave me hope that maybe you thought of me as much as I thought of you.”

“And here I was hoping you hadn’t noticed the
effect you had on me!”

“Oh, I noticed,” he said earnestly. “So what about that Holy Day meeting? I swear I could feel you staring at my neck.”

She grinned. “I have no idea what Hogal talked about that day. Actually, I was staring at this.” She ran her finger over the curve of his ear.

His eyes closed partway again. “
Mmm—anything
else
, Miss Peto?”

“Yes,” she leaned in closer until she breathed gently on his ear.

She never thought she would’ve been grateful to remember a few painfully awkward passages from
How to Sway a Boy in Six Simple Steps.

Perrin’s eyes closed completely and goose bumps rose on his neck.

Mahrree almost smirked. Well, what do you know—the stories were correct. He was quite literally swaying.

“I also wanted to say this,” she whispered, her lips brushing against his ear in accordance with Step Five.

“Yes?” he breathed in anticipation.

She couldn’t remember Step Six anymore, but she didn’t need it. “I recognized your diversionary tactic, Captain. So I’ll try som
ething else.” She kissed his soft earlobe.

More goose bumps.

“Tell me, Perrin . . . what does your father think about the Administrators?”

His throat gurgled as if he were being strangled.

Mahrree pulled away and smiled sweetly.

Perrin blinked and exhaled, as if to jar himself from
her effect.

“Yes—definitely NOT an interrogation technique my father e
ver considered.” He sighed. “That was just cruel, Mahrree.”

“Hmm, interrogation . . . maybe women
should
be in the army,” she mused.

“Not you!” he pointed at her. “Shouldn’t mess with a man’s mind like that, giving my thoughts whiplash—”

“Well?” She ran her hand along his solid neck.

He rubbed his forehead and groaned. “Mahrree, Mahrree . . . you don’t need to worry about any of that—”

“The condition of my civilization? The attitudes of my future husband and father-in-law towards our leaders?” she scoffed. “Next you’ll say something inane like, ‘Don’t trouble your
exquisite
little head with such details!’”

He smiled partially. “You’re something else, you know that? How could I fall in love with anything less?”

“Again, thank you. I think.” She furrowed her brows wondering what “something else,” meant. “But Perrin,” she shifted into debate form, “when you came over last night, you said you would be honest with me in everything
from now on
. We’re here tonight trying to be sure this union will succeed, and if you begin by going back on your previous declaration of honesty, how can I trust anything else you tell me? I’ll be honest with you first—until a few weeks ago I believed the Administrators truly were making great strides in improving the world, but then you told us about the suggestions in education. That struck a bit close to home for me. It may be silly, but I’ve always loved debating about the color of the sky. It’s far more than an exercise in assumption and observation. So now that the Administrators are suggesting that we don’t need to teach
how to observe
—even now my stomach is lurching at the idea, and I’m not sure why. If you have
any
light to shed on my discomfort, I’d like to have it.”

He paused. “Mahrree,” he eventually whispered, “my father is trying very hard to keep civility in our world. For me to express to you anything he suggests would—”

He hesitated again.

“He’s the
High General
, Mahrree. There are certain things that
must
be kept in confidence—”

“Do you trust me, Perrin?”

“Of course.”

“With everything? Because I can’t go into a marriage knowing you’re keeping secrets from me. Important secrets. I don’t believe in that.”

He pursed his lips as he considered, and she was so tempted to kiss him that she did.

He chuckled as she pulled away.

“You have a point,” he said. “And incredible influence over me, but don’t let anyone know that. All right . . . I understand your feelings about secrets. But you also must understand my position in the army. How do you feel about
hints?
”

“Hints?” she said, suspicious.

“These
are
negotiations, Mahrree,” he reminded her. “One side gives a little, then the other side gives a little. You need to meet me halfway on this.”

“Are hints all that I might get?”

“It’s to
protect
you, Mahrree, not aggravate you.” He became startlingly sober. “If you know too much, you’re vulnerable. I already love you too much to put you in danger. Can you accept that?”

She was so thrilled with the way he readily confessed, “I a
lready love you too much,” that for a moment she didn’t register the rest of his sentence. Her startled mind caught up a few seconds later.

“Danger? All right. I guess I can accept that.”

Perrin nodded once. “He sends me weather reports.”

Mahrree squinted at the odd sentence. “
Uhh . . .”

He smiled. “Specifically, the color of the sky.”

“Really?” she beamed. “I think I like your father already.”

“Good, because not a lot of people do. The citizens still have the wrong impressions about the army. My grandfather Pere was a r
emarkable man,” he said with genuine admiration. “He cleaned house when he took over as High General, and even reined in some of the tendencies of Querul the Third’s very threatening widow. But that family worried that the world would embrace the army more than they appreciated the kings’ leadership. So they spread rumors. Despite my grandfather’s efforts, and now my father’s, the army is still seen as something to be feared. But Mahrree, I promise you—danger does not come from the
army
,” he said meaningfully. “And while they all respect him, very few people appreciate my father, especially a particular
former professor
.”

“Ah,” Mahrree said, understanding his allegations. “Wasn’t he your professor as well?”

Perrin nodded. “He doesn’t have the best of feelings towards me, either. You know how I love to debate? When I was younger, I wasn’t as disciplined as I am now—”

“You think you’re disciplined
now?
” she teased.

He laughed. “More than I was! As a twenty-one-year-old . . . well, let’s just say I was well-known, and not in the best of ways. Nicko Mal doesn’t believe in debating, only in shutting down and humiliating. Well, I don’t believe in being shut down or humiliated, as you’ve discovered. It was not the best of combinations, but the class was never boring. Mal and I bickered about so many aspects of human-animal behavior . . .”

He paused again.

“I’m not proud of that. I was arrogant and high-minded. The problem was that Mal was too, but even more intensely. Sometimes nothing happened all class hour except for us conducting a shouting match while the rest of the class watched the entertainment. I don’t know why I let him get under my skin so frequently. And the worst part is, I tried to use The Writings against him.”