The Finding (46 page)

Her hip pressed
against his thigh and one of his hands rested on the pillow near
her head. When she inhaled his masculine scent filled her. It both
excited and calmed her, making her aware of him, yet feeling safe
and protected, too. A light smile ghosted over his face as he
stared down at her and she responded in kind.

Enjoying the
easy atmosphere between them, she let some of her curiosity free.
“What’s it like when you shift? Do you retain any of your human
self or are you totally an animal during a full moon?”

“When you’re
new at it, it can be a bit hard to rein the animal in. It’s so
excited to finally be free, which is why having other wolves around
is helpful. They guide the new wolf, allow it to enjoy the
experience while keeping it out of trouble.” His gaze seemed to
wander over her features as he spoke and she wondered what he was
thinking; did he find her appearance pleasing?

Cassie licked
her lips before speaking, hesitant to bring up her first
transformation, yet wanting to understand. “The first time I
changed—when we met in the park—I had absolutely no idea what was
going on. I was shocked to find myself there.”

“Very typical
for a first timer.” He gave her a crooked smile and twirled a lock
of her hair around his finger. Cassie almost hummed at the pleasant
feel of his gentle tugs.

“But later,
when we were back at the house, there were times when the wolf took
over and other times when I managed to be in charge.”

“Uh-huh. The
older you get and the more you communicate with your wolf, the
easier it is to maintain control. For the first few shifts, it’s
almost a power struggle. Eventually though, the animal learns to
trust you, to know it doesn’t have to fight to be heard, to exist,
and it accepts your leadership. In time, you and your wolf will
think and act almost as one, complimenting each other’s strengths.
But you have to get to know each other first, just like any
relationship.”

“We talk—the
wolf and I—sort of. I hear its voice in my head.” She made the
confession through lowered lashes, somehow feeling embarrassed at
the admission.

“That’s a good
start. I talk to my wolf all the time. I think it’s similar to how
humans talk to themselves.”

Cassie plucked
at the covers with her free hand. “My...um...my wolf likes you.”
She peeked up at him through her lashes wondering why she felt the
need to confess that to him or if it was even her idea. Perhaps the
wolf had put her up to it?

“Really?” He
smiled at her. “My wolf likes you too.”

She gave a soft
laugh. “Silly beasts.”

“Yeah.” He
tucked the lock of hair he’d been playing with behind her ear, then
slowly trailed his finger tips across the side of her face.
“There’s no accounting for taste.”

Cassie closed
her eyes at the feel of his hand brushing over her skin, leaning
into his touch.

“Cassie?”

“Hmm?”

“I like you,
too.”

“Really?” Her
eyes flew open and a joyous feeling swept over her. Bryan liked
her! She looked up into his eyes, unable to hold back the smile
that broke out on her face. Was it just her imagination, or was he
leaning closer to her?

“Uh huh. Would
you mind if I kissed you?”

Her throat
suddenly seemed to tighten and it was hard to breath. She studied
his features, noting his hot, heavy lidded gaze, the way his hair
fell on his forehead, the slight fullness of his lower lip. “I...I
think I’d like that.”

Slowly, oh so
slowly, he leaned forward until their mouths were but a hair’s
width apart. For an interminable moment he hesitated, his eyes
locked with hers. Then his lashes lowered and... Her eyes drifted
shut as his lips brushed over hers, the merest whisper of a
contact. A sigh escaped her at the butterfly softness of the touch.
It was like this was her very first kiss, erasing all previous
memories. A happy feeling bloomed inside her and she curled her
fingers and toes as feelings she’d never known existed flooded
her.

Softly, gently,
he moved his lips over hers with utmost care. It felt so sweet, so
tender, as if he were worshipping her mouth. She could easily lose
herself forever in the feeling of his lips stroking hers, the light
sliding motion mesmerising. When he pulled back, she had to force
her eyes to open, reluctantly leaving the blissful world she’d
found herself in.

Bryan was
smiling down at her. “Was that okay?”

She nodded
unable to speak for a moment. “A lot different than in the park.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she flushed wishing she hadn’t
brought the incident up.

“Mmm... That
was intense.” He traced her features with his fingertip, the light
touch causing her to shiver. “Our wolves seem to know each other
quite well. But you and I...” He shook his head. “I think we’re
just starting our journey.”

Slowly, he
eased over onto his side and pulled her close. She rested her head
on his chest and bravely placed her hand on his bare skin. His
stomach flinched slightly at her touch but then stilled. Exhaling
slowly, she relaxed into the warmth of his embrace.

“This is nice.”
Bryan whispered the words. “Being together and not butting
heads.”

“Yeah.” She
nestled her head more securely against his chest and they fell into
a comfortable silence.

After a while
Bryan spoke again. “Are you worried about tomorrow?”

“A little but
I’ll be fine.” She spoke positively, ignoring the faint fluttering
in her stomach.

Bryan eased
back from her. “You know if you don’t feel up to this we can—”

“We can what?
None of us came up with an alternate plan.” She looked at him
questioningly and he sighed.

“I know. It’s
just that I worry about you.”

“That’s sweet
of you. I’m usually the one doing the worrying.”

“Cassie, I’m a
Beta. I’m not sweet.” He groaned and shook his head.

She chuckled
softly then lifted her head, quickly pecked him on the mouth and
then made a show of licking her lips. “Sorry, you’re sweet.”

He pressed an
equally fast kiss to her lips. “But you’re sweeter.”

Cassie rolled
her eyes. “Bryan!”

He laughed
softly, then suddenly stopped, his expression sobering. Bracing a
hand on each side of her, he lowered his head again, this time
kissing her properly. His tongue traced the seam of her mouth then
gently tugged on her lower lip with his own. She parted her lips
slightly and moved them against his, marvelling at the feelings
that were coming to life inside her. It was as if she were melting
from the inside out.

A low moan came
from Bryan, and he pressed closer, working a hand under her
shoulder while the other cupped the back of her head. He traced her
lower lip with his tongue and she sighed into him, opening wider,
welcoming his questing tongue as it slowly explored her mouth. His
tongue stroked hers then teased her sensitive upper palate. The
feeling had her pressing closer and opening wider, eager for
more.

The taste and
scent of Bryan filled her and yet it wasn’t enough. She wanted to
experience every inch of him and ran her hands up his arms to his
shoulders. Warm, smooth skin over muscle and bone. So strong. So
male. Marvelling at the feel of him, she squeezed and stroked his
biceps and shoulders. It was exhilarating to be with a man this
way. To touch him, to discover his body.

Cassie slid her
arms around him to explore his back. It was broad and equally
strong, his muscles moving fluidly under her hands. Moving lower,
she traced his ribs then slipped to his narrow waist.

“Bryan...” She
said the word on a sigh. It was so right to be with him, to have
him close. Snaking her arms around his torso, she pulled him down
so that he was on top of her. A shiver of excitement coursed
through her as his weight settled over her. This...this feeling of
a man’s body pressing down the full length of hers...

She drew a
shuddering breath, sure her heart was going to pound out of her
chest, and the whole time, Bryan continued to rain kisses down on
her, exploring her face, nipping her chin, tugging on her earlobe.
He inched lower, dragging his teeth down the side of her neck, then
biting gently on the sweet spot where her shoulders began.

A pleasure
filled moan escaped her and she drew one leg up to cradle his hips
while sliding her hands up his back to bury her fingers in his
hair. It was thick and silky and she bunched it in her hands, her
nails lightly raking his scalp. Bryan responded, shifting on top of
her, his hips flexing slightly. She could feel a firm ridge of
flesh pressing against her and she shivered in response. It both
excited and frightened her, doubts suddenly popping into her head.
What did Bryan expect of her? Where was this going?

Perhaps sensing
the change in her, he slid over so he was beside her. He kissed her
jaw, then lifted his head so he could stare into her eyes.

“Cassie?”

She tried to
duck her head, but he caught her chin, forcing her to look at
him.

“What’s
wrong?”

“Nothing.” She
shrugged and tugged to free her chin, but he was having none of
it.

“Don’t lie to
me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Her eyes seemed
trapped by his and she couldn’t break free. Nervously she licked
her lips. “I...I was just wondering what you expected out of
this.”

A frown marred
his brow. “Out of what?”

“This. You and
me.” She swallowed hard, taking in his red, swollen lips, the flush
on his cheek bones. “We’re in bed together and you’re obviously...”
She paused unable to finish and waved vaguely towards his waist
feeling herself blush.

He gave a
crooked grin. “Yeah, I’m ‘obviously’...” Leaning forward he kissed
the tip of her nose. “Is that a problem?”

“Well...” She
took a deep breath. As much as she’d like this to continue, she
felt she had to tell him the truth. “You see, Kellen and I—”

Bryan
stiffened, his face clouding. “You don’t have to tell me about you
and Anderson. You were together for three years—”

“But that’s
just it. We shared the house for three years, but we never...” She
paused, thinking of that one damning time. It wasn’t something she
could hide. Bryan would find out.

“Cassie, you
can’t expect me to believe that a man could live with someone who
looks like you and never make a move on you.” Bryan rolled over
onto his back and stared at the ceiling. A space now separated
their bodies and Cassie frowned at the loss of contact.

“I’m not saying
Kellen didn’t. He tried, but it never felt right.”

“You never had
sex with him?” Bryan turned his head to face her, a disbelieving
look on his face.

“Well... just
once.” She spoke in a burst of words, feeling tears of shame
pricking her eyes. “About two years ago, right around this time. It
was a full moon and I was almost out of my pills, trying to make
them last as long as I could. I guess I let the drug get too low in
my system or something.” She shrugged and sniffed before
continuing. “Anyway, I woke up one night, desperate, aching... I
don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly felt I’d die if I
didn’t have...er...sex with someone. Kellen was there and I
basically attacked him. He even tried to stop me, to get me to
think, but something was driving me. I couldn’t stop myself and
then... Afterwards... I felt awful. Like I’d made a terrible
mistake.”

“Cassie...”

Cassie could
hear the doubt in his voice. “It’s true. I’m not making it up.
That’s why this...” She stumbled in her explanation, but forged on,
desperate to make him understand. “I’m sort of scared. I don’t
really know what to do. That other time, I wasn’t in
control...”

Bryan pushed
himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. “So you’ve never
really...?”

“No.” She
answered in small voice, staring down at the covers.

“Ah, Cassie...”
He exhaled slowly then gathered her close, tucking her head under
his chin. “I’m sorry. I just assumed you and Kellen...”

She shook her
head.

“I never should
have started anything with you.” He started to loosen his grip on
her. “Listen, you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow; so maybe
you should just go to sleep—”

“No!” She
blurted out her protest more loudly than planned.

“Pardon?”

“I don’t want
you to stop. I just didn’t want you to...expect too much. I might
not be any good.”

Bryan burst out
laughing, flopping onto his back.

“What’s so
funny?” She felt her face heating with embarrassed indignation.

“You are.” He
hugged her tight and rested his head beside hers on the pillow.
“Having sex isn’t a competition where you get rated afterwards.
It’s two people sharing themselves, giving each other pleasure,
telling what they like and don’t like. And you were doing a very
good job.”

“I was?”

“Uh-huh. You
were making these great whimpering noises that let me know—”

“I was not
whimpering!” She paused. “Was I?”

“Yep. I bet I
can make you do it again, too.” He turned his head so he was
looking directly at her. “Want me to try?”

Did she? A
minute ago that was what she thought she wanted but now that the
heat of the moment was over...Was she ready to have sex with Bryan?
There was this connection, this pull between them, but they’d only
just met...

Yes! Say
yes! He is ours. We’ve waited all this time.
The wolf inside
was pressuring her.

“I think so...”
She gave a nervous laugh. “The wolf is saying yes.”

“But the human
isn’t so sure?”

She searched
his face and found no judgement, no condemnation. Just
understanding. Reaching up she cupped his face. “I really, really
like you Bryan, but so much is going on right now.”