He recognized the song just a few notes in. It was one he liked, written and recorded by a current band that used a lot of guitar and real drum kits. Sean’s single acoustic guitar gave the song a different feel, but he played well and it sounded good. When Sean started to sing, Corey’s eyes went wide and his breath caught in his chest. Sean’s voice was smooth and clear, each note—each word—crisp and precise.
Sean had a mesmerizing stage presence. He glanced all around the room, making and holding eye contact. Corey wanted to think Sean looked at him more often, held his gaze a little longer, but it had to be wishful thinking.
With a flourish of fingers, Sean changed songs. This one was a harder song, somewhat angry and desperate. Sean’s voice changed in pitch and tenor, taking on a rougher edge and gaining a touch of vibrato.
If Corey wasn’t already frighteningly attracted to Sean, he would be now. Christ, how he loved a man who was good at something and performed that task with confidence.
Several songs later, Sean paused to talk to the audience. “If you guys would indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to try out some new material on you.” His laugh was self-deprecating. “Yes, I’m an aspiring song writer. Be honest with me. If something’s good, let me know. If it sucks, don’t spare my feelings.” Sean’s smile was blinding.
As Corey listened to Sean sing his own words, his heart broke. It was a breakup song. Lovers having a final argument inside of a car, pulling to the side of the road, slamming doors, and finally speaking the sad truth to each other. Corey’s pulse pounded in his throat as he wondered how autobiographical the song was. He wondered if Sean would care how closely it paralleled his own life.
Corey swallowed against the lump in his throat. He’d done his damnedest over the years not to think about Kathryn—Kathy—he sure as hell didn’t want to start back now.
Sean changed keys and transitioned into a different song. This one was angry, demanding acceptance and respect, refusing to compromise. Corey wondered what kind of shit Sean had been through.
The third of Sean’s songs was more upbeat and rhythmic. It was about two lovers who were invincible as long as they had each other. It held an optimism Corey didn’t think he’d ever had, or ever would.
All three songs received enthusiastic reactions from the crowd. Corey was just buzzed enough to add his own claps, cheers and whistles to the cacophony. Sean’s pleased smile tightened something in Corey’s chest.
The next song was a cover of a popular song from a relatively new Irish rock band. Corey ordered another drink. He thought it might be his third. The buzz in his head told him it was likely his fourth.
“You come in a cab again, Devil Dog?” Linda asked as she handed over his whiskey.
“Yes, ma’am,” Corey replied reflexively.
She gave him a wicked smile. “Sean is one lucky guy.”
Corey’s stomach did a slow roll. “How’s that?”
“You conveniently need a ride home. Sean conveniently lives nearby.” Linda winked and moved on to her next customer.
He glanced over his shoulder at Sean, wishing and wanting, but knowing he just couldn’t have. Not right now.
On Sean’s next break, he paused at tables to talk with the people who had obviously come to hear him sing. The three women from earlier tried to keep him from moving on, but Sean gracefully disentangled himself and headed for Corey.
“Switching to soda, Sean?” Linda asked.
“Yes, please.” He graced her with a kind smile. “Gotta drive home later.”
Sean leaned an elbow on the bar beside Corey. He smiled brightly, his hazel eyes sparkling. Corey wanted to run his thumb over Sean’s lush lower lip. Who the fuck was he kidding? He wanted to lean in and run his tongue over Sean’s lip, just before he nipped at it until it was swollen.
“Jesus,” Sean whispered harshly. He turned and rested both elbows on the bar. He flushed through his tan. “The way you’re looking at my mouth is making me hard.”
Corey inhaled sharply, his chest tightening. “Sorry.” He glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Several of the women were watching the two of them but none looked angry or appalled. Some even looked predatory.
“I’m not,” Sean replied, taking a sip of his drink. “Let’s just be discreet while I’m working.”
“I usually am more discreet,” Corey told him.
“I can imagine.” Turning to face him again, Sean asked, “So, what did you think?”
Corey was confused for a moment. “About your singing? You’re fucking awesome.” He wished he could say something more insightful.
Sean chuckled and looked pleased. “Thank you. What did you think of the original songs?”
Corey hesitated. Sharing his earlier thoughts with Sean would reveal too much about his own raw emotions. “I think they’re better than some of the covers you did.”
“Glad you liked them.” Sean glanced around the room and waved at someone in the corner. He polished off his drink and stood tall. “You sticking around ’til my next break?”
“I’ll be right here,” Corey answered without thinking.
Sean gripped Corey’s shoulder as he stepped away. To onlookers, it probably looked like a casual touch between friends, but Sean’s hand lingered before he skimmed it down Corey’s arm.
His skin burned where Sean had touched him. Corey could still feel Sean’s touch, even after Sean stepped onto the stage.
During this set, Sean performed a few songs that had been recorded by female pop singers. With his talented fingers on the guitar strings, and a few creative lyric changes, Sean made the songs uniquely his own.
The three original songs he performed this time carried the positive messages of self-acceptance and self-reliance. One song was an unapologetic celebration of life. Corey guessed that Sean had performed that song before when some people in the crowd sang along.
As he watched Sean perform, a woman stepped up to the bar beside him. Corey marked her movements and her distance from him, but didn’t look at her. At least until she leaned down into his line of sight.
Corey stiffened as he focused on the woman. She was looking at him in confusion, her eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. It was Aimee. He relaxed slightly as he returned her gaze.
“Have we met?” she asked. It was obviously not a pick up line.
“Last Tuesday,” Corey answered. “I helped Sean get you safely into your apartment.”
Her expression cleared and her eyes filled with recognition. “Corey!”
“You remember?” He’d thought she’d been too drunk to catch his name.
“I vaguely remember someone else helping me up the stairs. But Sean’s mentioned you several times since then.” Aimee turned and quickly ordered a drink.
Corey glanced at Sean and found him watching from the stage. What had Sean told her about Corey? What did it mean that he’d been a topic of conversation more than once?
“I’m glad you came out tonight,” Aimee said. “Sean was sure he’d never see you again.”
Christ. Resisting his growing attraction to Sean was hard enough without knowing the attraction was mutual. “I’m glad I came out. He’s really good.”
“Yeah, he is,” Aimee said emphatically. “He graduated from USC’s drama program. Our boy’s a musical theater major.”
Corey couldn’t mask his surprise. “No shit?”
She shook her head. “He does it all and he does it well.”
Corey stared at Sean, seeing him differently now. He realized Sean wasn’t playing around. This was seriously his career.
Aimee paid for her drink and turned to leave. She paused and said, “Sorry you had to see me like that. On Tuesday.” She looked chagrined. “But thank you for helping me get home safely.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “You and Sean have fun tonight.”
Corey stared at her back as she walked away.
Not long after, Sean took his final break of the night. He moved through the room again, greeting those he’d missed previously. Corey slid a napkin over the top of his drink and went to the head.
He probably should have predicted it, but Corey was still surprised when Sean came in several minutes later. Corey quickly buttoned himself up and moved to the sink.
“I saw Aimee find you,” Sean said.
“She didn’t know who I was at first,” Corey replied.
“Well, she was pretty tanked that night.”
Corey dried his hands and knew he should get the fuck out of there. He didn’t need the temptation Sean presented. His feet just wouldn’t move. “How much longer do you have to play?”
“Half an hour.” Sean stepped to the sink. “It won’t take me long to pack up. I leave the amp here until tomorrow night.” He dried his hands and stepped in close.
Corey could feel the heat of Sean’s body. He could see dark flecks in his hazel eyes. Sean’s skin was so smooth and brown, Corey’s hands itched to touch. He curled them into fists to stem that urge. Sean’s eyes dropped to Corey’s mouth and his expression was expectant.
“I could use a little help loading gear into my car, if you can stay ’til the end,” Sean said, his voice low and rough.
Corey wet his dry lips and Sean’s eyes narrowed.
“I don’t have to work tomorrow. I can stay,” Corey replied, knowing he was playing with fire.
“Good.” One side of Sean’s full mouth quirked upward. “I should get back.”
Corey startled, suddenly remembering where they were and that Sean was working. He tugged the door open, feeling sluggish and clumsy. He let Sean precede him back into the bar and immediately realized his mistake. Sean’s ass looked perfectly round and taut in the snug jeans he wore.
When he resumed his seat at the bar, Linda announced last call. Corey ordered a final drink.
Linda gave him a hard look. “You know I can get in trouble for serving someone who is already too intoxicated?”
Corey held her gaze steadily. “I just made it to the head and back without stumbling, running into anything, or getting into a fight. I’m good.”
She relented and served Corey his drink. “Don’t make me sorry. I kinda like you.”
Sean made every minute of his short, final set count. He played simple, familiar songs with upbeat tempos and his audience loved it. By the time he took his final bow, the crowd was mostly on its feet, clapping thunderously.
Sean set his guitar on the stand and sat on the edge of the stage to talk to some of the patrons for awhile. The three women lingered at their table until Linda called out that it was closing time.
“I’d love to, but I have to take Corey back to base,” Sean said, disentangling himself from one of the women.
“We want Corey to come, too,” her friend said, smiling at him.
“I’ve got duty tomorrow,” Corey said without thinking about it. “I’ve already stayed out too late.”
That finally seemed to appease them, although they all made a show of pouting about it.
Sean leaned on the bar next to Corey. “You said earlier you don’t have to work tomorrow. Did you just lie to those ladies?” he asked conspiratorially.
“Yeah,” Corey replied in an equally covert tone.
“Well played.” Sean waved as the women filed out the door into the night. When it was finally just the two of them and the bartenders, he slumped onto the stool next to Corey.
“Should we get you packed up so you can get home?” Corey asked.
Sean stared at him inscrutably for several moments before he stood. “Sure.”
It didn’t take long. Sean put his guitar in its case. That left packing up the microphones and cords. The amp would stay until the next night. Sean waved to the bartenders as the two of them left through the rear door, Corey lugging the plastic container of electronics.
Their shoulders bumped as they loaded everything into the back of Sean’s SUV. Corey took several steps backward, as if the contact had scalded him. Sean closed the hatch and Corey fished his cell phone out of his pocket.
Sean chuffed a laugh and held up his keys. “Seriously, dude, I’ll take you back to base. You don’t have to call a cab.”
Corey took another few steps backward. “You’ve been working all night, man, you don’t need to make that extra drive.”
“You stayed to help me with my gear, it’s the least I can do,” Sean replied.
Corey wanted to prolong his time with Sean but he knew if he got in the car, he’d want to touch. If he started touching, he wouldn’t want to stop.
“Actually, I thought we could stop somewhere and get breakfast,” Sean continued when Corey was silent. “Maybe have a conversation not interrupted by a crowd.”
Corey tensed. He wanted to say yes but if he did, it would fuck everything up. “Thanks, but no.” He sounded more abrupt than he’d meant to.
Sean stiffened visibly. His smile faded and Corey could practically see a wall slam down behind his eyes. “Okay. Well, thanks for the help and get home safe.” He turned on his heel and headed for the door of his SUV.
Fuck. Sean was a nice guy and Corey genuinely like him. He’d hurt Sean’s feelings, possibly embarrassed him. “Sean,” he called. When he didn’t immediately appear at the rear the car, Corey called louder. “Sean, it’s not what you think.”
Sean reappeared and stood, feet braced apart and arms folded defensively over his chest. He didn’t speak and his expression was tight.
Corey sighed explosively. He ran the back of one hand over his sweaty forehead. He couldn’t look at Sean, which wasn’t like him. “I want to go to breakfast with you,” he said, voice strained. “But if I did, I’d be sober by the time I got back to base.” Corey chanced a quick glance and could tell by Sean’s expression he’d said the wrong thing.
“Don’t let me keep you, then.” Sean started to turn away.
Corey scrubbed a hand over his shorn hair in frustration. “I can’t sleep,” he blurted.
That got Sean to stop at least. He leaned his shoulder against the SUV and looked willing to listen.
Corey hunched his shoulders, fisted his hands in his front pockets and stared at his boots. “Since my last deployment…I don’t like to sleep…when I do…” He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Corey glanced up at the night sky but didn’t find anything there that made this easier. He swallowed hard and continued. “I have nightmares. Once I wake up, it’s hard to get back to sleep. Drinking helps.”
Swallowing down his nausea, Corey glanced at Sean. He still leaned against the SUV, but his expression had softened and he had uncrossed his arms and stuffed his hands in his front pockets. Pity had been the last thing he’d wanted to see in Sean’s eyes when he looked at Corey.