The Fighter's Secret Child (The Burton Brothers Series Book 3) (8 page)

He rolled off her, and she could hear the sound of something wet being pulled off.
Condom
, she thought, her head already half empty.

“Okay?” he asked. He wrapped himself around her. She managed a soft hum for an answer. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her tighter against himself. “Sleep. We’ll talk later.”

Rachel smiled.

Beck couldn’t believe she had given herself to him. He wasn’t sure he deserved her trust. But, dammit, he was going to try to.

The little sounds she’d made during sex had driven him crazy. He was already getting hard again, just thinking about it. He adjusted himself so his hard on wasn’t poking at her and took a deep breath. She lay in his arms, her legs tangled around his. She had great legs—long and lean and shapely. And a great ass—big enough you could grab it and hang on. Images of her naked body had haunted his dreams for years—the reality was a lot better.

He kissed her hair again and stroked it. He shouldn’t wake her—she needed rest right now. Hell, so did he. The test had left his back aching. And aspirin only did so much. He was just glad he didn’t have a fight scheduled. He was also glad he hadn’t acted like a wuss and fainted when the doctor had shown him the needle they’d used to take the sample.

Sex would make him forget all of that. Sex with Rachel would make him forget everything.

He wanted to roll her over and take her from behind—she’d loved that in Fiji. Had been happy to wiggle her ass at him, begging for it. Hell, if he kept thinking like this he was just going to dry hump her leg. And he couldn’t do that. No, he had her asleep in his arms and he wanted to hang onto that for as long as he could.

He woke before she did. He lay there, Rachel still in his arms. Right now, all was right in their world. Later they’d deal with everything. Later, he’d have to get up for a run—although he might be out of training for more than a year now. He’d worry about that later.

Rachel stirred and he kissed her cheek. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

She squinted at the gray light leaking in through the window. “It’s not even dawn.”

“Close enough. Chaz will be up soon.”

“Yes, he will. He’s a morning person—just like you.”

He kept her wrapped in his arms. “You were so tight. Just like before. I thought after having a baby—”

“C-section. He was breach.” She pulled out an arm and stretched. The blankets fell off her.

Leaning up on an elbow, he traced the thin white line across her belly. “That’s what this is from?”

“My obstetrician had a plastic surgeon close the incision to eliminate any unnecessary scarring. I have to be careful what kind of swimsuit I wear. But why are we talking about this now?”

Beck smiled. “Good point. We’re wasting time, aren’t we?”

She nodded and wrapped a hand around his neck. “Uh, hun. I think you were getting ready to send us both to paradise again.”

Morning love was even better for Beck—sex left him energized. Rachel pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. He tried to reach for a condom, but she pushed him flat. “You wear one with everyone else?”

“I’m not stupid. I’m not—” He bit off the words. He’d been about to say he wasn’t bringing a kid into this world, but he’d already done that and a condom hadn’t helped stop it. Rachel took him in hand and slid him into her. He lay back and let her ride him until she gasped and closed tight on him, and the world narrowed into just the feel of her slick, tight channel.

She gave him a kiss and headed for the shower. Beck pulled on his sweats and went for a run. He needed to clear his head.

When he came back Rachel stood in the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a sweater. Chaz sat at the table eating oatmeal—or rather doing some kind of sculpting with the oatmeal and not eating much of it.

Chaz grinned and called out, “Beck!”

Coming over, Beck ruffled Chaz’s hair. “No, it’s daddy to you, scout. Come on, say daddy—dad-dy.”

“Doggie!” Chaz shouted and grinned.

“Great, now I’m the dog.” He glanced over at Rachel. “He’s got energy this morning. How long has he been up?”

“I found him playing video games in the den. I think you’ve created a monster.” Beck laughed and kissed her nose. She shook her head. “He was also poking at the outlets. So we are making a trip to the baby store today.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll get Avery and Alice to baby-proof the place. They haven’t thought about that yet.” He turned to Chaz. “Hey, want some bacon, sport?” Beck moved to the fridge and pulled out bacon and eggs. “We guys need meat, don’t we? But don’t let your mom know that stuff she put in your bowl is for cows.”

Rachel shook her head. “Oatmeal is good for your heart.” She glanced at Chaz and came over to kiss his head. “Do you think we’ll hear test results today?”

Coming over to her, he took her hand. “Don’t rush it. Let’s enjoy the day.”

Beck decided Rachel needed a distraction, and Chaz needed some energy burned off. He took them both to the park and then to a movie—something animated was playing and that was good enough. Chaz sat through the movie wide-eyed, and Beck snuck in a chance to put his arm around Rachel. Afterwards, he took them out for tacos, and then stopped by the dojo. Chaz liked that even more, and Beck found a white
gi
that was almost small enough to fit the boy.

Shaking her head, Rachel gave Beck the stink eye. “I don’t want him taking any falls. What if he—?”

“Relax. I’m just going to teach him a
kata
—slow defensive moves designed to teach muscle memory.” Beck walked Chaz through the moves. Chaz picked them up quick, but seemed to get bored just as fast. When regular students began to arrive, they all made a fuss over Chaz, but Rachel picked up her son and told Beck, “We should get home. Chaz didn’t get a bath last night.”

Beck nodded—and he wondered if Rachel was going to come to his bed again. Or had last night just been one off?

He didn’t have to worry. After Rachel tucked Chaz in, and once the house settled, she slipped into his room. He pulled back the sheets for her. She slipped off her robe in one slow movement. Underneath she was naked and Beck hardened at once.

Rachel slipped under him and Beck covered her with his body. “Am I too heavy?”

She smiled. But Beck glanced at her face. She looked worn—the worry was getting at her, he knew. She’d come to him for comfort—and to forget. And he was going to have to hope it didn’t take forever to get the test results back. Deftly, he rolled them, putting her on top of him again. “You call the shots tonight, honey.”

He brushed his hands down her back and left his hand resting at the top curve of delectable ass.

She kissed him, deep and long. Her breasts pressed against his chest. Reaching down, he stroked her until she was dripping again. He wanted to push her down on her back and taste her, but this was her show. Cupping him, she guided him into her. She rode him hard tonight—a little too desperate, he thought. But then he stopped thinking. As long as he had Rachel in his arms, that was enough. For now.

And then the test results came back.

“What the hell do you mean I’m not a match to my own son!”

Rachel tightened her mouth. “It’s not that you’re not a match. Mason is just a closer match.”

Mason slapped the back of his hand against Beck’s arm. “I top you again, brother.”

“Don’t do that!” Beck turned to face Mason. “And wipe that smug grin off—”

Chaz’s whimper caught Rachel’s attention. Chaz ran to her and buried his face against her legs. Here it was again—Beck’s temper. She had thought his promise meant something—that he really was trying to change. But she’d been wrong.

Turning from him, she told Mason. “I’m going to check into a hotel tonight. If it’s okay with you, I’ll schedule the surgery for as soon as possible. Dr. Chiano said he could do it next week, if that’s okay.”

“Wait just a damn minute. You are not checking into a hotel!”

She faced Beck. “I am not staying here where you can yell at me.”

“You owe me a chance to get to know my son. And—s”

“I owe you? How do you figure I owe you anything!” Rachel knew her voice was going up. She regretted it as soon as Chaz’s whimper changed to a cry.

Ignoring Beck, she picked him up and snuggled him close to her. “It’s okay, Chaz.” She shot a hard look at Beck. “I’m going to go pack. And if you even touch me, I’m calling the police to report you for assault!”

***

Beck watched Rachel storm off into her bedroom. He rubbed the back of his neck. He’d thought…it had been going so well for the past week. But now….

Sitting down in the kitchen, Mason shook his head. “Way to go—jerk.”

Beck shot his brother a hard stare. “Oh, I don’t need grief from you.”

“Yeah, you do. You need to learn to think before you open that mouth of yours. And you need to really think. This is not about you and your need to be the greatest dad in the world. This is about Chaz. If I’m a good match, that works. It’ll keep you in training and fighting—your kid is going to need college some day, air head. You think of that? And how about a house for Rachel? Or are you just going to keep her living here as a guest? And what about being there for Rachel while her son is going through this? But, no, you want to be the hero. And you’re going to yell and make everyone miserable until that happens.” Mason stood up. “You know, I used to admire the hell out of you, but lately I’m thinking Chaz has a lot more maturity.”

Mason walked out. Beck sat down at the kitchen table. When Rachel came out with one suitcase in her hand and Chaz holding her other hand, Beck knew he’d hit the wall. Shoulder slumping, he watched her.

“Wait.” Rachel turned. She had a guarded look in her eyes—the same one she’d had when she’d walked out on him the last time. This time, he knew he’d put it there. Beck stood. “I’ll give you a ride to the hotel, if you want. But…I think it’d be better if you stayed here. Avery and Mason will be here to help, and…and Chaz likes the place. It’s going to be hard enough on him having to spend a long time in the hospital.”

When he looked over, he saw tears in Rachel’s eyes. He started to step closer, then realized maybe he shouldn’t. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring Chaz here to meet you sooner…and smack you upside your stubborn head!”

“Feeling violent?” Hope stirred in him.

“Maybe. I feel antsy, and frankly I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling.”

Beck nodded. “I know the feeling. And…well, you can hit me if you want. I swear I won’t hit back.”

Rachel stepped closer. “I do want to hit something. I never have before. Maybe it’s just the stress of Chaz’s illness finally getting to me, but I’d love to slap you silly.”

“Yeah, I know. And…you could try punching a pillow. I never could teach you how to make a fist.”

“That’s because…” she let the words trail.

Beck finished them for her. “Because it ended up with us making love. Look, it’s going to be hard. And I…I wanted to give Chaz what he needed. I was pissed off and Mason just got done ripping me a new one. Look, I have a deal for you.”

“No, Beck, I—”

“Not a deal with you.” Beck knelt down so he was on eye-level with Chaz. “A deal with you. You hate it when I start yelling, don’t you?”

Chaz glanced up at Rachel, and then back to Beck. He gave a slow nod.

“Yeah, I hate it, too. I always feel a total loser afterwards.” Reaching out, Beck took hold of the back of the stuffed dog’s neck. “I’m like him….bark, bark, bark. A whole lot of barking. But I don’t bite. And…well, sport, you’re going to need a lot more. So how about this. Every time I yell, you get to hit me. Deal? You just come over and punch my leg, and that’ll remind me to stop being an idiot. Think you could do that for me?”

Chaz glanced up at Rachel again. He pulled his hand from hers and stepped over to Beck. Beck took his hand and shaped it into a fist. Beck moved the small had into his ribs. The punch tickled and Beck let out a laugh. “We’re going to have to work on that.”

Grinning, Chaz punched again. With a laugh, Beck grabbed Chaz’s hand. “Hold on there. One punch is enough—you never punch a guy when he’s down, and you’ve got me on my knees.” Glancing up at Rachel, Beck told her, “What do you say we forget about Chaz’s illness for the next several days? We can forget about the past, and just enjoy the present? How does that sound?”

Turning, Rachel glanced at the door. She hadn’t put down her suitcase. “Just pretend the past hadn’t happened? Forget what just happened between us? Beck, you said you had changed, but I don’t see it. It sounds like heaven, but what about when reality shows up again? What about the next time you lose it?”

Beck stood. “I’m done trying to promise there won’t be a next time. You’re right—it’ll probably happen again. Something’s going to set me off and I’m going to start to yell. And then you’re going to tell me to stop being a damn fool, or Chaz is going to give me a punch, or one of my brothers is going to tell me to knock it off. This isn’t just about me—it’s you, too, Rachel. Am I worth it? I know you can handle it, but the question is, can you get over wanting everything to be sunny skies all the time, because that’s not reality either.”

She sucked in a breath. “That’s not fair.”

“It’s the truth.  If you want a guy who doesn’t love you more than life, then go find him. But I can tell you this. I am never giving Chaz up. I will be in his life no matter what. I missed his first steps and his first word, but I will not miss his first baseball game. I will not miss teaching him how to throw a football. I want to be there when he starts dating girls, and I want to be there when—or if—he gets married. You can walk away from me, Rach, but don’t take my son with you just because you can’t handle it when I yell.”

She turned away. When she turned back, he could see the pulse thudding fast in her throat.

“Done thinking it over?” he asked.

“I haven’t even started. But…why don’t you try the hotel. Chaz and I will stay here. And…and I’d like nothing better than to pretend that everything’s fine for a few days. Until his operation.”