“Are you okay?”
“Yes, Sir, fine, but may I have permission to go to the bathroom?”
I watched as his eyes widened and averted mine to his eyebrows while I waited for his response. “Of course. Shit! I'm sorry, Kit. These are the things I have to adjust to, I'm afraid.”
I gave him a smile and climbed from the bed, walking as fast as was polite and closing the door behind me. It was like re-learning everything all over again. There would always be a period of adjustment, but this was awkward for an entirely different reason. I'd enjoyed our banter. I'd enjoyed winding him up until I saw that fire in his eyes, but now the freedom to banter was gone.
I had no right to miss or want anything about him, even his sense of humor and quick wit. So when I turned on the shower and stepped inside, I tried to reprogram my thoughts as the water sluiced over my body and the heat began to ease the last of my aches.
I could do this. It wasn't as though thirty-six hours had that much of a hold over me. This subservience was what I was used to. It's what I craved. It's what I lived for, and this arrangement with Jared was no different. I just had to offer a little bit of guidance along the way. That or Charles was going to fall back into old habits.
“Kit?” Jared called through the closed door. I froze under the stream of hot water and held my breath.
“Yes, Sir?”
“Do I need to pick you out something to wear? Grandfather and Kayla explained some things, but... well, as much as I enjoy seeing you naked, I do believe we have some shopping to do and I think you'd give them quite a shock if you showed up naked.” Jared went silent for a moment, but I could hear him muttering to himself under his breath.
“Sir?”
“Yes, Kit?”
“You only have to do what you're comfortable with. No two Doms are the same. It's about what satisfies you and the relationship we have together.”
I heard the thud of his head on the door panel and laughed silently as I rinsed the conditioner from my hair. This was going to be a long week, but at the same time, there was a promise of it being quite entertaining. One thing could be said for certain, though: expletives sounded much better with an English accent.
Having some mercy on him, I turned off the shower and climbed out. Not using a towel, I pulled the door open and found him leaning forward, his eyes wide now that the barrier had been taken away.
“Sir, don't beat yourself up. You're naturally dominant, which is amazing, but after a lifetime of living a certain way, you're exploring other avenues. It's tricky, a little disorientating and it takes time. I promise, this is the last time I will speak out of turn like this, but you can't be so hard on yourself.”
His arm dropped from the frame and circled my waist, pulling me flush against his chest as his shirt and pants absorbed the droplets of water from my body. His lips brushed over my forehead as he sucked in a breath and held it there.
“Thank you. I'll do better, I promise. I just need a little guidance.”
“Of course, Sir.”
“Pick a pretty dress for me today,” he growled, kissing me once more before stepping back and smirking. “I want to think about being inside you while we're out.”
My stomach tightened and released and my knees wobbled as I watched him disappear from the room and pull the door closed behind him. Seemed he wasn't as hopeless as he made out, because he'd managed to get to me with nothing but words. Up until that point, it was a trick only Mistress Kayla had achieved. How many more tricks did he have up those well-starched sleeves of his?
I took my time getting ready, brushed my hair out and hoped that the unruly curls would take control, seeing as I didn't have my hair dryer. I didn't use makeup, but I had no lotion or witch hazel for my bruises either. So I spent most of my time picking out a dress. Mistress Kayla had brought several of them and, as I did most mornings, I laid them out on the bed and stood there naked, trying to figure out which one would fit the description Jared had given me.
There weren't as many options as I'd hoped, and there was only one short one that Mistress Kayla had bought for me a while ago. It was an extravagant, striped chiffon dress that was short enough that my fingers fell quite a bit below the hem, and if I were to bend over, Jared would get an eyeful. Considering I didn't have any underwear, I knew it would do the trick.
Pulling it over my head and shivering at the feel of the fabric against my bare skin, I wandered back into the bathroom to see how it looked. I'd always loved this dress, and standing there, staring at myself wearing it, a sense of homesickness washed over me. It was fleeting and ridiculous, but it was there. Shaking it off, I knew I had to get going. The last thing I wanted was to keep Jared waiting. He was new to this lifestyle, but it seemed as though he was a quick learner and I doubted Charles had been light on the advice. Considering he was the only man to have ever had Mistress Kayla under his thumb, I could only imagine how formidable he could be.
I found Jared in the study sitting with his grandfather, talking quietly about business. Charles was more relaxed than I'd seen him since we arrived. He had an open laptop beside him and a mug of coffee at his lips. He smiled as I entered, and with one look, I knew what was expected of me. I moved to Jared's side and knelt by his right leg, my arm in constant contact with him as my hands gathered in my lap and my head bowed.
It had been a silent command from Charles and I could only assume Mistress Kayla had given it to him to help with the training.
“Good afternoon, Kit. You look very beautiful.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Jared, is she dressed to your liking?”
Jared leaned forward, his hand smoothing my damp hair from the crown of my head, all the way down my back. I almost felt the smile on his lips as he kissed the top of my head.
“I don't believe she could be more beautiful, Grandfather. However,” he said, sitting up straight, his hand on my shoulder, “I'm never going to learn if you keep prompting me. I may have come to you with questions, and I'm sure I'll have more, but I need to do this with trial and error.”
“Well, you have a perfect submissive for the task.”
“I think so, but considering I didn't know what the word meant two days ago, I have a lot of learning to do.”
“Very well. But remember the rules Kayla set for her submissive while she's gone and honor them.”
“I wouldn't dare cross her,” he said, his tone deathly serious. Apparently Charles was just as aware of her influence, and he’d obviously warned his grandson of the dangers of vexing her. “Now, do you think I could borrow the Jag?”
Charles agreed and it seemed that was that for the discussion. I stayed kneeling as Jared got up and moved around, and even though I was curious as to where we were going, I didn't make a sound. I just waited, patient as always, until I was summoned by a gentle touch to my head.
The Jaguar was sleek, sexy and stunning. The supple leather cradled my body as Jared navigated the car through the swamp-surrounded roads. I still had no idea where we were going but at that point, I didn't care. He'd put the top down and the warm October breeze washed over me, teasing my hair dry as it fluttered around me.
Neither of us had said a word since we left. I sat quietly in the passenger seat with my hands in my lap and borrowed flip-flops on my feet. I should have been looking down at them, but I may as well have been fighting gravity because I couldn't take my eyes off the beauty surrounding me.
There were homes few and far between, some beautiful and some in ruins, but they all seemed to fit the landscape. I'd always been an avid reader of history, and the days that Mistress Kayla had to go to work or had to travel and leave me at the house, I often spent wandering the museums or the old districts, talking with the older people who had amazing stories to share. The voodoo priests were always interesting, their history full of darkness and tales of woe. They scared most people, I think, but for me, it was learning about the city I'd come to love. For them, it was an afternoon delving into their pasts, the love of the stories and the fear in people's eyes fueling the fire.
I'd heard a lot about the surrounding parishes; there was an abundance of ghost stories and legends. Out here, I could almost imagine them, see them playing out in my mind’s eye. Wealth brought corruption, and it was on the tail of that corruption that some of the darkest sagas unfolded.
“Kit?” Jared's voice pulled me from my reverie, reminding me of my situation. I lowered my eyes and gnawed on my bottom lip, reprimanding myself for my daydreaming.
“Yes, Sir?”
“How does your Mistress handle these situations?”
“Situations, Sir?” I asked, my heart beginning to trot in my chest. I knew better than to let my mind stray like that. I'd had my head up, the wind beating in my face, eyes on the canopy above us.
“Going out in public.”
“Oh.” It should have made me relax that he wasn't referring to discipline for breaking the rules, but all I could feel was guilt. I'd taken advantage of him being a novice, even when I hadn’t intended to. It was times like this I needed a brief reminder, but he had no idea. “Well, if she decides that she wants to keep control, she uses subtle hand gestures, Sir.”
“If she decides?”
“More often than not, Sir, we just go out and do what needs to be done. As long as I'm respectful, it normally doesn't make a difference.”
“Then that's what we'll do. You can be your witty self for the afternoon.”
I gave him a bright smile and bowed my head in acknowledgement. Not knowing any better, he saw it as a time out. There was no way he could understand that I needed to feel that control someone else had over me – that I wanted it, craved it even. This was a lifestyle I'd chosen for myself. Since that party all those years ago, I hadn't deviated from the slave mentality. I'd felt adrift when I didn't have a Master or Mistress. Though being a sub or full blown slave was personal choice, and there were couples out there who lived as equals in every other aspect of their lives and kept their Dom and sub roles in the bedroom or a group setting, I felt adrift when I didn’t have a Master or Mistress. I was a creature of habit. I knew what I liked and that's what I stuck to.
Even with Mistress Kayla, the outings like this one had been part of our day-to-day lives. I may not have looked to the ground or knelt at her feet, but my heart was always submitting to her, and my soul was always by her side. This uncertainty and level of freedom was something new. The way Jared had worded it, I was to speak freely the way I had on Saturday and what little we spoke on Sunday. Once again, I was learning something new, and I had to keep an open mind. These lessons were for Jared to find himself and see what he was comfortable with.
“Yes, Sir.”
He glanced away from the road for a moment to look at me, his thoughts unreadable from my vantage point.
“Let's start that now. I like that look on your face as you feel the wind. You look...” His hands tightened briefly on the steering wheel as though he were searching for the right word. “At peace.”
“Thank you,” I whispered in response, my head lifting from its bow and my eyes rising once again to the gnarled and twisted branches that reached overhead. For a moment I felt as though I was doing something wrong, but the sun broke through a gap in the trees and bathed my face in warmth, washing away the doubts. It was one day, a moment in time that would be swallowed up in memories of other days.
We drove for what felt like hours before we reached our destination. The only thing contradicting my mental timeline was the position of the sun in the sky. Looking ahead of us, the large building that sprawled out was so common that it was familiar.
“A mall? How did you find this out in the middle of nowhere?”
“Well, the Internet helped.” He grinned, brushing down my hair with his fingers. “Grandfather also brings his lady friends here to shop.”
“Those damnable gold diggers.”
He rolled his eyes and pushed himself up and over the side of the car in one slick movement, his cocky smile reminding me of the night he found me on the swing, but lacking the malice.
“Careful! You may get yourself a reputation.” He laughed, grabbing the top and pulling up slowly, enclosing me in the car.
“Umm, I'm here by divine intervention, thank you very much.”
He ducked and looked in the car, his smile broad as he studied me. “You're a complicated creature, Kit.”
“How so?”
I reached for the clip to lock the top down as he reached in through the open door to do his side. In my humble opinion, I was the simplest of creatures. I let someone make all my decisions for me and I was a slave to pain and subservience. It really didn't get more basic than that.
“You are this larger than life personality, but you can switch it on and off as you choose. You're beautiful in your submissive way, stunning, in fact. I can't imagine anything more beautiful than you on your knees, but this side of you is full of life... and I'm rambling.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I'm always me, Jared. There's no switching on and off. I just am. It's just learning to say things inwardly rather than spewing every thought I have out there. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just personal taste.”
“I didn't mean to insult you.”
“You didn't. You asked, I answered.” I grinned, climbing out of the car and smoothing down my dress. He met me at the front of the car and offered me his hand. Once again his instincts had taken over. He was keeping us connected. I'm not even sure he knew what he was doing but I appreciated it.
We walked around the mall for a while until he figured out I wasn't going to pick anything out. This was where my own money came in handy. I didn't take handouts. It seemed ridiculous considering the lifestyle I'd chosen for myself, but growing up one step up from a cardboard box meant you learned to live within your means. Pride was a huge thing for me. I worked my ass off to enter mind-numbingly boring data because the payoff was worth it.