Authors: Christine Bell
J
ake stared
at the jewel-colored bottles behind the bar, seeing them but not really seeing them, an untouched rocks glass filled with scotch sweating in front of him.
Rafe’s email to Hannigan remained unanswered and, for the past week, he’d been desperate for some new plot...some brilliant plan to make Alistair pay for what he'd done.
What had happened to the dozens of detailed revenge schemes he’d spent years dreaming up? The ideas were plentiful, like chocolates in the Wonka world of his mind. His only issue had been trying to pick which ones to implement to cause the maximum amount of pain.
But ever since he'd left Sadie's apartment, all he could think about was the look on her face.
That should’ve been a catalyst. Now he had two axes to grind. One for his father, and one for Sadie. Instead, the burning anger that had roiled in his gut for the past seven years had dulled to a flicker and all he felt was lost.
There was no winning this game anymore. If he dropped out and let Alistair be, he would be betraying his father. If he didn’t and kept Sadie in his life while he played it, he would be putting her in danger.
Again.
There was no good solution, and it was eating away at him more every day.
"You want to order some food?" The bartender had given him a wide berth since he'd gotten there. Probably because he looked exactly how he felt.
Like a miserable prick.
"No, thanks."
"Actually, I'll take a menu," a familiar baritone voice said over his shoulder.
He turned and gave his brother a curt nod, already mentally exhausted from the conversation to come.
"Mikey."
Mike’s face gave nothing away as he took the stool next to Jake. He ignored Jake’s greeting, scanning the menu quickly.
"I'll take a pint, a cheeseburger, medium rare, extra onions and a side of fries." He finally shot a look Jake's way. "You sure you don't want anything?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
The bartender jotted down the order and strode away, leaving him to face his brother again. Something he didn't feel like doing in the least.
“I know why you’re here. I can see the cop all over your face.”
“And I can see the sad schmuck all over yours. What happened? You manage to lose that pretty woman of yours?”
Leave it to Mike to get right to the heart of it.
Jake took a sip of his watery drink and set the glass back on the bar before answering. “She knew the score when we got together.”
Mike’s smile was tinged with sadness as he sat back on his high-back barstool. “Does telling yourself that help you sleep at night?”
Jake thought about that question for a long time and, when he answered, it was honestly.
“Nope.”
In fact, he hadn’t been sleeping much at all. But instead of Alistair dominating his thoughts, it was Sadie he couldn’t stop thinking about. He was lost and rudderless, the taste for vengeance now bitter in his mouth. And the weight of that guilt --the guilt of betraying his father-- combined with the despair of losing her was a potent poison. One that was slowly killing him inside.
“Pop would hate to see you like this.”
Mike again, with a second direct hit in as many minutes, right where it hurt.
“Pop would hate that his life’s work was destroyed and his reputation was in tatters,” Jake snapped back.
Mike inclined his head. “Ay. But he would accept that fate if it was the price he had to pay for your happiness. When was the last time you felt happy, Jake?”
It didn’t take any thought at all. When he and Sadie had been together. Before that? He couldn’t recall.
He stayed silent.
“Our parents are both dead. You might as well be a walking zombie now that you’ve lost your woman. When does it end? Will you allow him to take everything from our family before this is over? Let me do my job. Let the police do what we’ve been trained to do. It’s the way Pop would’ve wanted it. He believed in the badge. Hell, he gave his life for it. Can you finally let it go, Jake?”
Mike’s voice echoed in his head long after he stopped speaking.
Let it go.
His mind rallied, instinctively searching for all those reasons he couldn’t…all the reasons he had to push forward, but every single one of them fell flat now.
Could he really do it? Could he honestly say that he’d done the best he could and believe that would’ve been enough for his father?
He took a mental stroll down memory lane and watched as the years zinged by, each marked with only events surrounding his obsession. Another arrest, or pile of money taken, or some perceived victory that felt hollow. No joyous celebrations with family. No home and hearth to go back to that made him feel whole. No video of sons or daughters taking first steps.
And as he looked into his future, it would only be more of the same. No adventures that brought him joy instead of emptiness. No laughter with the woman he loved.
No Sadie.
Could he let it go?
He wanted to. In fact, even as he thought of the end and maybe even the possibility of a new beginning, the smog that had been hanging over him since he’d left Sadie’s apartment began to lift. Everything suddenly seemed so clear.
Mike was right. It was time. Long past time to let it go. To march into the future, away from the misery and devastation Hannigan had caused and toward living his life. A life with Sadie.
The weight he’d been carrying slowly faded, like a yoke had been lifted off him, leaving behind only determination and hope.
“If I walk away from this, Mike, you’ve got to promise that you’re going to keep on with the case. Don’t let it consume you, but keep pressing. Not just for Pop, but because he needs to be stopped.”
Mike cocked his head and eyed Jake with a hard stare.
"Where were you Friday, brother?"
Jake shook his head slowly, confused by the shift in conversation. "I was still with Sadie," he answered honestly. “We saw you that morning, remember? You barged into my house with food?”
"During the day, yes. Where were the two of you that night?"
He sounded like their father sometimes. So much, it made Jake's gut clench. Mike was a cop through and through, and a damned good one at that. Pop would've been so proud.
He shoved aside the thought and took a deep swallow of his drink. Fuck it. If he was going to move on, he’d do it all the way. No more lies.
"At Hannigan's house."
It felt good to be honest with Mike. He was so sick of the deception, sick of having to hide things from his own flesh and blood. Besides, nothing had happened that night, really, so he wasn’t putting Mike in a difficult spot. So what if he’d been an accessory to attempted cheating at cards where he’d ended up losing upwards of seventy thousand dollars? He wasn't up on all the laws in America, but he was pretty sure that wasn't a punishable crime.
Mike nodded slowly, clearly not surprised in the least by this revelation. "Doing what?”
"Playing poker."
"Did you win?"
How was that relevant? "Did I win? No, I didn't win. What are you on about, brother?"
“I just wanted to see if you would tell me the truth. See, because I already know what happened at Hannigan’s that night. Do you know how?”
Jake shook his head, mind flipping through every possible scenario. Had Sadie contacted Mike? Or had Alistair seriously contacted the police to file some bogus charges against them?
Shit, he hoped not. That would only mean trouble for Sadie.
“Nope. No clue.”
“Because I finally got clearance two weeks ago to tap his phone.” Mike turned and locked eyes with him. "We got 'em, Jake."
His pulse kicked hard as the words sank in. "Got 'em how?"
The cold smile that spread over his big brother’s face was one Jake had never seen before.
"Dead to rights. At first, it was garbage. We got nothing but vague double talk, and some nonsense about Sadie’s little stunt at the poker game. It was getting to the point that I was wondering if we'd wasted our time and any goodwill we had left with the particular judge who had finally given us the warrant. That there was no way, secure line or not, that Hannigan was ever going to give anything up. And then,” Mike shrugged and shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it himself, “he did."
"What have you got on him?"
"Racketeering, fraud, forgery..." His brother trailed off and took a long pull from his beer before swiping a hand over his mouth. "And human trafficking. Only he’s sunk even lower. This time the girls he was moving were between the ages of thirteen and sixteen."
Jake's stomach pitched as he digested that news, his thoughts flying a mile a minute.
"I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you until I was sure you wouldn’t take the information and use it for your own purposes. But it’s over."
"What if he gets off again? What if he manages to get to the right team of lawyers and-"
"Then we try again. Me and my team. That was Dad's mistake. He held his cards too long and didn’t let anyone else in. I've got a whole lot of people behind me on this, all who have seen the evidence and have as big a stake as I do in seeing Hannigan punished. I'm not alone here, and neither are you. We have to trust the system, bro. I need you to trust
me
."
He held Mike’s gaze for a long moment before nodding.
"I will. I do. But what about Pop?” Jake asked, blood pounding in his ears as he tried to stay calm, think through all the angles. “Will we have to let this be a black mark on his good name forever?"
"Breaking Hannigan wasn't going to give Pop his good name back. But I know something that might, and I need your help to do it."
“Whatever you need.”
The sooner they could start, the better, because he had someplace very important to be…
“
W
ow
. You look like total shit.”
In spite of the hunk of ice lodged in her chest, Sadie managed a smile at that.
Clarissa—unlike her, apparently—was looking great. Cheeks pink, her eyes were clear and not wracked with pain or dulled from sedatives. If anything could've lifted Sadie’s spirits, it was that.
"Thanks, sis. You, on the other hand, look awesome.”
Clarissa had been home for three days and being out of the hospital clearly agreed with her.
“Four more pounds and they’ll take the tube out,” she said with a grin.
For once, the joy at her news wasn’t tempered by worry about how they were going to pay for that. The day after Jake had left her apartment, a FedEx package had arrived containing fifty thousand dollars in cash with a note tucked inside it.
For Clarissa, so don’t even think about trying to give it back. I’m sorry…for everything.
-J
Sadie shoveled another spoonful of salted caramel truffle ice cream into her mouth and swallowed without tasting it.
"If you're not going to enjoy it, stop wasting it,” Clarissa said.
“You’re not the boss of me,” she muttered, knowing she was being impossible and not caring.
“Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but you better call him and get it off your chest. Tell him how you feel.”
She’d told Clarissa as much as she could, leaving out the parts about stealing and cons, but leaving in the parts about Jake wanting to avenge his father. She didn’t want to worry her, but at the same time, she knew Clarissa would see right through her and worry even more if she tried to pretend she was okay.
It was the right thing to do, but she was regretting it sorely now as her sister ramped up for lecture number twenty-five.
“Maybe you should’ve given him a little time to think, you know? I’ll bet he’s as miserable as you are right now. Call him. Let him know that there’s someone else in his corner, someone who cares and doesn't want him to continue down this destructive path."
"Right. And if I manage to convince him, he can resent the hell out of me a year from now, once it all sinks in? No way.” She set her spoon down and flopped back on the couch. “I said everything I needed to say. My only concern is that this has been poisoning him so long that he's scarred on the inside. He can't even see what's right in front of him. Revenge isn't some magic potion. He's not going to wake up once this is all over and feel reborn."
"So why don't you tell him that?"
"Because he doesn’t want me around to tell him anything, that’s why.”
There was no skirting around the fact that she'd been summarily dumped.
She picked up her spoon, filled it with ice cream and plugged it into her gaping maw, chewing defiantly as she held her sister's gaze.
"That's it." Clarissa made a grab for the container and Sadie pulled it away.
"Wow, those new meds got you moving fast,” Sadie said, impressed in spite of herself.
“Fast enough to kick your ass,” Clarissa said, lunging for her again.
They were wrestling over the carton when the doorbell rang a few seconds later. The sound shocked her and her fingers went slack. Clarissa took full advantage and skipped into the kitchen with the ice cream, a triumphant smile on her face.
“Think of it as an intervention,” she called over her shoulder.
Sadie stood and headed for the door. Probably her upstairs neighbor wanting her to sign a petition to get the lady across the hall evicted for smelling up the hallway with her salmon patties again.
She peered out the peephole and froze, the ice cream threatening to make an unscheduled re-appearance as her stomach flip-flopped.
Jake.
It took a second to sink in. After days of misery, when she would’ve given anything to hear from him, here he was. She yanked open the door before she could think better of it and glared at him.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, fighting to hang onto that initial burst of anger that was currently eclipsing the pain.
“I wanted to see you,” he said simply.
She refused to think about how handsome he was in his T-shirt and jeans, black hair a tousled mess. He also looked exhausted. She ignored the sharp pinching sensation in her heart and dug deep for more fury.
“How did you get in the building, anyway?”
“I paid your doorman twenty bucks. That’s some pretty shoddy security you have there. He didn’t even ask if I was going to murder you or anything.”
In spite of his earnest expression, that nefarious dimple made an appearance and she fantasized about spackling over it for her own sanity. What was she asking him again?
Oh yeah.
“Why are you here, Jake?”
Her palms started to sweat as all the possible scenarios went through her mind. She couldn’t even let herself think that maybe he’d come because he missed her. Having thoughts like that was a surefire ticket to misery, and her heart couldn’t take another blow so soon.
"I needed to see you."
“Strange. Seeing me wasn’t important at all a couple weeks ago.”
"It was always important, Sadie.” His beautiful gray eyes shined with sincerity and he reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The move sent a shiver through her and she took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest.
He held up a hand and nodded. “Okay, I get it. I won’t touch you. But believe me when I tell you the only reason I left that morning was because I was afraid you would get hurt.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Hell, you almost got hurt that night at Alistair’s. That would’ve been my fault for letting you come with me.”
His words cut through the shock of seeing him and she stared at him, her pulse kicking hard.
“If that happened, I don’t know how I would've lived with myself,” he continued, spearing a hand through his hair. “Short of finding a hidden cave on the shores of Ireland and secreting you away there while I tried to figure out what to do next, there wasn't much else to do but move forward as best I could and keep you out of harm's way."
She stared at him, trying not to let his words soften her. “S-so what’s changed?”
“Me.” He shrugged and shook his head. “I realized I wanted more than just vengeance in my life.”
His words sent a ripple through her and that burning ember of hope she’d thought was long dead blazed to life again.
“What about Alistair?”
“After I left your apartment that morning, I was a wreck. As much as I still knew Alistair needed to be taken down, I found myself unable and unwilling to move ahead. It was like something died inside me.”
She could see that pain reflected on his face and it was a struggle to keep from comforting him even now.
“I realized I couldn’t keep going. It had already cost me too much.”
She bit her lip hard and tore her gaze from him.
“So you should have just let him off, scot-free because of me?” She shook her head. “You would’ve hated me within six months.”
“No. I decided to do what you said, and let Mike and the police handle it. And they are.” His eyes lit with a familiar fire. “Mike’s got a real shot at nailing him. They gathered some compelling evidence and we’re confident that Hannigan will do time. They’re still piecing it all together, trying to make the case airtight. It might be a white-collar prison. He may never get everything he truly deserves, but now that they’ve uncovered him for what he is, all eyes will be on him. He won’t be able to take a shit in this town without someone taking notes."
"What about your dad?" Her heart was in her throat as she waited for his answer. She couldn’t be party to watching Jake’s life eaten away by his guilt, but part of her still railed at the injustice of it.
"Mike and I have been working on something. Once the criminal investigation turned up the fact that Alistair wasn’t above bribing officials, the powers that be in London have agreed to meet with us to consider reopening Pop’s case.”
As he spoke, the shadow that always seemed to hang over him when the topic arose seemed to have lifted, and it made her spirit soar.
“It's going to take awhile, and there are no guarantees, but Mike said the buzz is all positive. If it works out as planned, some day soon he'll get a proper send off and all the honors he should've gotten before. It won't bring him back, but people will know who he was and what he stood for, and it will allow us to bring charges against Hannigan over the pond as well."
“That’s wonderful news, Jake. Not everything you wanted, I know, but it’s a start. Are you happy?” The last word stuck in her throat and she tried not to let the riot of emotions she was feeling show on her face.
“No.”
Her stomach sank and she nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” So if nothing had changed, if only absolute revenge would ever satisfy him, what was he doing at her apartment?
Surely, they’d said all that needed to be said.
“It’s not because I didn’t do what I set out to all those years ago. I’m content with continuing the fight by supporting Mike, but I’ve realized you were right. It’s time to move on. The reason I’m not happy is, because without you in my life, there’s this gaping hole.”
He cupped her nape in his big, strong hand, and held her gaze as his words washed over her in a wave.
“I miss your laugh and your sense of adventure and your wit. I love you, Sadie. From the second I laid eyes on you, with that terrible wig and those ill-fitting clothes, I loved you. Fuck, I tried, but I couldn't look away. I still can’t.”
Her heart was so full and she was so overwhelmed with emotion, for a second she couldn’t speak.
“Tell him you love him too, for crying out loud,” Clarissa called through the kitchen door. “She’s been eating ice cream by the bucket-loads. You’re lucky you got here when you did. If you were any later, she’d have needed a crane to get off the couch.”
Sadie’s cheeks went hot at Jake’s grin.
“She’s exaggerating. But she’s right.” She leaned into him, letting her heart guide her, in spite of her fear. “I do love you. And I want more than anything to have you back in my life.”
It was a risk. If Hannigan got off, maybe Jake would crack and wind up hurting her all over again. But she knew one thing for sure. He was worth the risk. The best things in life were.
She pushed herself onto her toes and kissed him, her heart pounding as his warmth enveloped her.
Jake was here and he loved her.
She was beaming with joy when he pulled away.
"So what do you say we firm this up some? Make it a real partnership?” He held out a scroll tied with a red ribbon and she took it from his grasp, puzzled but intrigued.
"What is it?" she asked almost reverently. The paper felt smooth and worn beneath her fingers and the musty smell rose to greet her nose as she untied it. He pushed aside a pile of mail on the table in the entrance and she carefully unrolled the paper, spreading it out on that flat, walnut surface.
It was a map. The words were hard to read, a slanted scrawl, but the symbols were clear as day and a tremor ran through her.
"Is that what I think it is?" she asked breathlessly.
"It is," he said, never taking his eyes off her. Her heart clattered wildly in her chest as she met his gaze. "A map. To find sunken treasure.”
“Are you being serious right now?"
"I am. I figured you and I are used to excitement. It’d be hard to go to some nine to five jobs after living on the edge. I’ve got a lot of money socked away from my investments. Seemed like the perfect solution. What do you think? Want to go on a trip and find some treasure with me?”
She stared down at the yellowing map and tears blurred her eyes. "I can honestly think of nothing in the world I want more."
"It's going to be amazing,” he said, his enthusiasm ramping hers up even higher. “I already have a boat and a rig to dig. We might not find anything at this one, but there's hundreds...thousands more out there, just waiting to be found. I thought we could use most of the treasure we recover to fund the Reilly Leighton foundation. For my parents and yours."
Tears rushed to her eyes, and she didn’t bother to blink them back. “I love that idea. It’s amazing. But…what about Clarissa?”
"We wouldn't be gone for long stretches. A couple weeks at a time. You can move into my house and we can get her the care she needs at home while we’re away. I have a lovely carriage house in the back on the property she can live in until she’s healthy enough to go on her own.”
“For the record, I would love to live in a carriage house of my own,” Clarissa chimed in from behind the door again, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. “I’m sick of watching all those boring detective shows you watch on TV all the time.”
“See?” Jake said, more animated than she’d ever seen him. “It will be great for all of us. What do you say, Sadie? You want to use those formidable powers for good and get our Robin Hood on?"
She tapped her fingers on the table, letting the joy at the idea of it seep in for a few more seconds and then nodded. "I think I do."
"Well, partner, it looks like we're going to be spending quite a bit of time together."
Happiness bubbled through her like fine champagne and she grinned. "I think I can handle it."
"Can you?" he asked, pulling her into his arms.
"I can. It's perfect.”
He dipped his head low, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Mark today as the last of your thievery, Countess, because you’ve surely stolen my heart.”
She looped her arms around his neck and smiled, excitement and anticipation for the future warming her from the inside out.
“Well, you’d better get used to life without it, because I’m never giving it back.”