The Fall of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 2) (40 page)

He wanted this all along…

“Eh! What are you doing?” Yoori asked urgently, shocked by the sudden proximity Tae Hyun had to her thighs.

She felt her skin tingle while the scent of his cologne and heat from his body murmured around her. She swallowed convulsively, suddenly feeling dehydrated.
 Was it hot out here in Winter Wonderland or was it just her? Her eyes perused the white Winter Wonderland before her. The little balls of white puff were still raining down from the dark sky above. All the stone lamps, plants, trees, and dirt pathway that she had seen moments before they entered the secret garden were now covered with snow. The world around her was still cold and peaceful – so it was
definitely
just her. She was the only one hot and frantic. All because of Kwon Tae Hyun…

“Tae Hyun, stop playing. Get off,” she said sternly, though she made no effort to push him away.
 

“My head really hurts,” he shared. He nuzzled his cheek on her thighs. “I need something to sleep on.” He looked completely comfortable and at ease with himself as he laid there with his eyes closed, the snow swaying all around him while he slept on her lap.
 

“Do I look like your pillow?”
 

“My deliciously plump pillow,” he amended with a smile.
 

She laughed quietly at his retort. She had forgotten that she was supposed to take advantage of him. It didn’t seem like he was the type of drunk who would get easily swayed into talking about embarrassing stuff or doing embarrassing things anyway.
 

“You’re such a bad assistant,” she commented, stroking the snow away from his sleeping face.

It disturbed her with how much she enjoyed sitting there with him. She sighed. At least from this angle, she had a good view of his sleeping profile. It was sensual and sinful, just like every other angle on him. 

“I always carried you in my arms when you were my assistant,” he defended quietly, reminding her of all the times she fell asleep on him. “Just sit still. You’re really warm. It’s making my headache go away.”

There was a subtle slur in his voice that told her he was still drunk. She smiled. It seemed like he was one of those drunks who was able to exercise a bit more control over their drunken state. Any bright ideas of taking advantage of him dissipated from her mind. If anything, it seemed as if he was taking advantage of her right now 
because
 he was drunk. She could never win with this guy, she thought as his breathing grew soft and the world around them silenced as if endeavoring to not wake him up. 

Snow embellished the hood of her jacket while she watched Tae Hyun sleep. Every now and then, her fingers would stroke the layering snow away from his face. The snow was still falling strong, but not strong enough to make Yoori feel that they should take shelter under any roof. The atmosphere around them was nice – her sitting on a snowy bench, him sleeping on her lap and the Winter Wonderland around them covered with snow. She inhaled serenely, lost in her thoughts. She could only imagine what a nice picture this
would be if she had a camera.

Everything was peaceful and quiet until a voice permeated the cold air.
 

“Do you sometimes feel as if you’re living on borrowed time?” Tae Hyun suddenly asked, drawing her out of her stupor.

When she lowered her eyes, she was met with his awaiting ones. They were soft, filled with warm curiosity. There was no more drowsiness reveling in them. 

“Borrowed time?” she asked, not certain with what he meant.
 

He nodded with a small smile. He further elaborated. “Like you were never meant to have certain moments in time, but you borrow them anyway, knowing very well that in the end, you’ll have to return them to their rightful owner.”
 

Perhaps it was because she knew it had something to do with her but as she listened to his elaboration, she felt her heart grow heavy with eagerness.
 “How are you living on borrowed time, Tae Hyun?” 

He stole a breath of silence to just gaze up at her, his eyes never appearing more innocent, genuine, and conflicted. Taking another minute as if to gather the strength his alcohol-induced body could give him, he explained to her what was on his mind.
 

“When I stole you from your world, I was never supposed to keep you for this long. You were never supposed to come this far. It was only supposed to be a temporary thing.”
 

Her ears perked up in attentiveness. “What do you mean?”
 

“I only needed yo
ur assistance for a brief time,” he slurred again, his eyes never leaving hers. “Just for a couple of things because I was really busy. It was never supposed to be for this long.”

She swallowed tightly. She never knew she had such a short timeline when it came to working for him. “When were you supposed to let me go?”
 

“Do you remember the night when we went shopping and we both slipped in the grocery store? The night where I spoke to you about the two things that I wanted and I chose choice number one?”
 

Yoori nodded, clearly recalling the events of that night.
 

“I was supposed to let you go after my meeting with Shin Dong Min. I was supposed to return you to your world when I came back home that night – the night right before your initiation.”
 

Okay, so he was supposed to fire her…
 

She
was all ears. “What happened?”

It wasn’t like Tae Hyun ever truly shared much about his thoughts to her. Even though he was all over the place with the things he shared, she didn't mind. She didn't mind in the least bit. She sighed. Thank God he was drunk on alcohol. He would never in his sober mind tell her all of this if he wasn’t swayed by alcohol. And she was thankful. She was thankful that she had a chance to listen to all this.
 

She waited as he casted his gaze over to an undetectable part of the scenery. He contemplated her question. His eyes were dim
when they recalled what took place. 

“I came in and I saw you standing in front of the elevator
, and I couldn’t even fathom the thought of letting you go...at least not at that moment. It was funny because when I was on my motorcycle, I was so prepared to lay you off as my assistant and send you on your way back to the real world…but when I saw you, I figured we could just hang out for a bit before I let you go.” He exhaled, a smile gracing his lips. “I continued to debate on this issue when we drove here for the first time that night. I was still thinking about it when I was holding you in my arms.”

His smile grew slightly wider after he recalled something random.
 “Do you realize that you fit perfectly in my arms? Even though I’m the one holding you, I don’t know why I feel safe and warm as well.”

Yoori stroked the snow away from his profile as he continued.

“I decided that it couldn’t hurt to keep you with me for a bit longer just because you have that presence about you that always leaves me yearning for more. There’s something about you that just calms me and makes me happy. There’s just something about you that makes me feel normal…”

His smile faded when an unpleasant memory materialized.
 

“But when I received that call from Ju Won, I knew I should’ve let you go that night. I should’ve
never 
allowed you to meet them.” He shook his head, silently scolding himself. “Yet when you threatened to run away again, I
still
wanted you. So, being as stupid as I was, I let you come with me…knowing the dangers involved with being around the Advisors.” 

“I insisted on going. It wasn’t your fault,” she provided once she heard the guilt in his voice.

She hated that he placed so much of the weight on his shoulders. She was an adult. It was her choice to go and it was no one else’s fault. 

“You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into,” he countered at once, his face plagued with remorse.
 

Another bout of silence overcame them. Tae Hyun stared at the falling snow. Yoori watched patiently. Tae Hyun didn’t say anything, yet she could almost feel the overwhelming sounds of his thoughts. He was so tense as he slept on her lap, so troubled as he tried to organize his thoughts.
 

And then, as Yoori stroked more snow away from his profile, he spoke again, his soft and troubled voice stroking a nerve she never knew existed.
 

“When they trained us…they told us we’d become better than human—that we’d become Gods. They said that dependency on anything other than your family – your gang – would mark you as human…as weak." He swallowed roughly.
 "So I grew up having control over what I did. I never drank too much, never smoked, never did drugs, never gambled because I was too good for all of that. I was too good to be addicted to weakness. I was too good to be human.” He smirked to himself, a self-mocking laughter following suit. “They never told us about that agonizing moment though…when your human self returns to you. People have a tendency to leave that part out when they are training kids to kill. They leave that part out as they watch you snap necks apart and shoot people without batting an eyelash.” 

He reverted his gaze back up at her. Yoori couldn’t explain what was going on in her mind. She was so overwhelmed with emotions that she couldn’t comprehend. It was like for the first time, as strange as it was, she felt like someone understood
 her. For the first time, she felt like she truly understood Tae Hyun. 

He favored her with a smile, his eyes growing warmer with her holding his gaze.
 “I hate that I like being around you – that I’m addicted to you. I hate that even though I choose to accept this as my weakness, I continue to keep you around so I can continue to become 
more
 attached to you.” His voice lowered with guilt. “I remember when I came home that night after your initiation. I remember walking into our room and seeing you on the bed. The bedroom was dark but I could still see the light of your tears as you slept. I remember walking to your side of the bed and suddenly kneeling beside it. Something went off inside me when I realized that you had been crying.” 

He averted his gaze from hers, finding it difficult to keep eye contact as another current of thoughts coursed through him.
 

“Ever since I took over the Serpents throne, I rarely show emotions for things, especially ones that involve feeling guilty and despondent – the
 weakest
 
of all the emotions. I rarely show it because I don’t get affected anymore. My soul has deteriorated from all the years of being in the Underworld that I thought I was past being affected by all those weaknesses…especially for someone who wasn’t even my family member or a part of my gang.” 

His sad eyes met hers and at that moment, Yoori felt her heart grow heavier. She struggled to keep the tears from forming in her eyes. She could feel the pain that he felt and she couldn’t help but be affected by it. How could she not be affected when it was Tae Hyun who was suffering so much by
himself?

He continued to speak, the snow around them falling more fiercely.
 

“When I kneeled beside you that night, I didn’t know what came over me. I didn’t know why it pained me
 so much to know that you had been crying. I didn’t know why it felt like someone had just ripped something out of me as I kneeled there beside you, wiping the tears away. I didn’t even know how long I was beside you that night. All that I knew was that I was contemplating it again…letting you go before you got pulled any deeper into the Underworld….” He bit his lips. “But then, when I started thinking about that…the pain became more substantial. I still wanted you with me. I still wanted to be with you…” 

A hint of warmness reveled in his voice.
 “That was why I took you to the lake house. I knew it’d help make you feel better if I took you away for awhile – even if it was only for a short time.” 

A gust of wind whirled pass them and he snuggled closer to her. He held a bittersweet gaze, one torn between being thankful and being remorseful.
 

“From the moment you fell asleep on the dock, a big part of me knew I shouldn’t have brought you –
us
– to the lake house. I knew it was a mistake when I started opening up on the boat. I knew it was a mistake when we played the drinking game. I knew it was a mistake when we danced under that gazebo and I knew it was a big mistake when we—” He stopped, clearly recalling the most fundamental memory of the trip. “When we kissed.” 

Yoori’s lips quivered at the mention of the epic portion of the trip. This was the first time either of them had brought it up since it occurred.
 

“After you ran off…I sat there on the railing for God knows how long. There was so much running through my mind but the only thing…the only thing I knew was that I made the biggest mistake of my life.”
 

When he caught the despondence in her eyes, he went on quickly,
dead set on sharing everything with her.