The Escape Collection: (The Escape Collection) (27 page)

“Release?”
 

Marion’s smile spread across her kind face. “Yes. Now that Lizzy’s clean, the need to have her in the center isn’t as urgent. Obviously she’ll still have work to do in therapy, but there’s no reason she can’t do that on an outpatient basis. Besides,” Marion added, her voice a little lower. “It’s much more affordable that way and I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t have insurance and this is a private clinic.”

Reid shook his head. “No,” he said simply. He could have chosen a government-run treatment facility, and it would have been covered by health care, but he’d wanted the best for Lizzy. With or without insurance.

Marion stood and took the file with her. “There is always the option of transferring her to another facility, but I really think she’ll respond well to outpatient treatment.”

Reid nodded.
 

“Well, then this will work out quite well. You should be able to take her home with you in about two weeks.”

“Two weeks,” Reid said, more to himself then to the nurse.
 

“Yes. And she does speak very highly of you,” Marion said. “It will be good for her to spend some time with you.”
 

Reid nodded mutely.
 

“Great, now let me go get Lizzy for a visit. We’ve already discussed her potential release with her and she’s working very hard to meet that goal.”

Reid stared out the door that Marion disappeared through and tried to clear his head. Two weeks wasn’t a very long time and he didn’t have the slightest idea how in such a short period of time he was going to be able to figure out what home he would take her to.

***

He was still staring at the empty doorway when the familiar face appeared. Familiar, but different. Her infectious smile, with the little dimple in the corner of her cheek, was replaced by a frown. She looked older, tired. But clean.
 

Reid jumped out of his chair, but approached her slowly. “Lizzy,” he said carefully. “You look…you look good.”

She laughed and in an instant, the little sister he knew and loved was back. “Reid,” she said, moving farther into the room. “I look like shit. I know that.”
 

“No,” he said. He reached his hand out, desperate to bridge the gap between them that drugs had created. “You look fantastic.” And despite the exhaustion on her face and the worry lines around her eyes, he meant it. She did look fantastic, because the shadow of whatever drug she’d been using was gone. There was color in her face where it used to be grey and empty.

She took his hand and squeezed. “Thank you,” she said.
 

Lizzy dropped his hand and moved into the room so they could chat. Before he turned around, he caught Marion’s eye. She stood watching in the doorway. He gave her a smile before turning back to his sister.
 

“So,” he said. “You’re doing good.” It wasn’t a question and Lizzy shrugged. “And I hear you get to come home soon.”
 

“Home? Do you mean your shit-box apartment? Or to the nasty couch where I was sleeping before that? I can’t remember the name of the guy…” She sat back and crossed her arms, suddenly defensive.

“Lizzy, why do you do that?”

“What?”

“Put on the attitude? You know I’m on your side, right?”
 

Lizzy dropped her arms and her posture softened. “I know,” she said. “I don’t know why I do that. Habit, I guess. I’m working on it. Sorry.” She gave him a sheepish smile.
 

“That’s not all you’ve been working on,” Reid said. “Why didn’t you tell them about Mom and Dad?”

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t you always say it’s old news? That we didn’t need them?”
 

“Lizzy.” In that moment Reid knew exactly why Lizzy hadn’t been talking about the real reason she was there. He’d taught her to block it out. He looked over to see Marion, still watching them. Her eyes were kind, and she gave him a slight nod as if to reassure him that it would be okay. His heart felt like it might break into a thousand pieces as he watched Lizzy struggle to keep her emotions in check. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s not old news. You need to talk about it. It’s okay.”
 

Her shoulders dipped and her head hung forward. Reid took her hand and led her to the couch where they sat in silence before he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. “I’m so sorry, Lizzy,” Reid repeated. “But it’s going to be okay now.”

After a few minutes, Lizzy’s tears dried up. “I know it hasn’t been easy,” Reid said. “But you need to drop the attitude if you’re going to come and live with me.”
 

“I’ll do my best,” she said and this time her smile was genuine. “It’ll be like old times. But seriously, please don’t
 
tell me you still live in that tiny apartment.”

Reid laughed. He’d liked his apartment. Sure, it wasn’t much. But it was his and if he looked at it in the right light, he could almost believe it was quirky instead of the shit-box Lizzy so aptly described it as. Not that it mattered anymore, anyway. “It’s funny you should mention my apartment,” Reid said. “I actually moved recently, so you’re in luck, because you won’t have to come back to my apartment that you hate so much.”

Lizzy perked up. “You did it? You bought a house, didn’t you? Just like you said you would.”
 

Reid swallowed hard. How could she have remembered that? When they were kids, living in the tiny rented townhouse, they used to daydream together about the homes they’d both have one day. Reid had forgotten all about it, but clearly Lizzy hadn’t. And now that he thought about it, Whitney’s house was awfully similar to the ones they used to dream about.
 

“I live in a house just like that,” he heard himself say. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Whitney hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of one roommate, let alone another one who was a recovering addict. But things had changed between them, Reid reasoned. And when Lizzy’s face lit up, he forced a smile and told her all about his new home, leaving out the key detail that it wasn’t really his.

Chapter 12

I think I see the sunshine; I just love the way it feels

There were a million things I should have been doing. But the only thing I wanted to do was hide. I was completely aware that I was acting like a child. Particularly since I was hiding in my treehouse. But I didn’t care.
 

I scribbled a few more words on the paper but just as quickly, scratched them out. Nothing I’d been writing lately made any sense, which in itself made sense in keeping with the trend of my life. But at least if I was writing poetry, even bad poetry, it kept me from thinking about how my entire life had gone from normal, even, and calm to a total and complete shit show.
 

My head spun with the details I couldn’t keep straight. William. Reid. Reid kissing me. Or did I kiss him? Marriage. Glenmore Academy. Hosting a dinner party for Grams to announce her pending death.
 

The pencil I didn’t know I was squeezing snapped in my hand. I looked down at the pieces, examining the splintered ends before hurling them at the wall. I slammed my notebook and searched frantically around the small confines of my treehouse. I didn’t know what I was searching for, but my heart sped up and the panic grew when I couldn’t find it. The small space usually comforted me and inspired me to be free with my words. But for some reason, at that moment, my safe space was closing in on me, suffocating me a little bit more with every breath I took. The feeling came on so quickly I didn’t have time to think about it. A layer of cold sweat broke out over my whole body, and the cool October air was suddenly too hot inside the treehouse. I had to get out. I needed out.

I clambered down the wooden ladder and landed with a thud on my butt in the grass, my notebook still clutched in my hand. I took deep lungfuls of air, letting the crisp autumn air fill me and soothe my nerves. After what felt like hours, but could only have been a few minutes, my mind began to clear again. My heart rate slowed and the backyard came into focus.
 

What had just happened? I’d never had a panic attack before. But then again, my life had never been quite so screwed up before. And that was saying something.
 

I looked around, to convince myself that nobody was standing in the yard witnessing my meltdown before I stood up. Reid had taken off earlier in the day so I knew he wouldn’t be watching out the window and William would never arrive unannounced, especially in the middle of the day when he was teaching. He wasn’t a lot of things, but one thing he was, was unfailingly predictable. And boring. Oh, he was so boring.

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. “Yes,” I said to my feet. “He’s a boring, beige, goody-goody, tie wearing, straight backed, plain, reliable man and I don’t love him.” I looked up to the blue sky and screamed just to get the emotion out of head and heart.

A few sparrows burst from the almost bare shrub next to the fence and flew off into the neighbor’s yard. There was something about the sight of them that caused me to crack. A gurgle deep inside built with intensity until it exploded into belly aching laughter. Tears streamed down my face and I forced myself off the cold grass, aware that I must look like a complete lunatic. But despite the awareness, I couldn’t stop. I let myself go and almost as suddenly as it’d come on, the laughter was gone and I was left standing in the middle of the yard, alone and looking at an empty house.
 

“I must be totally and completely losing it,” I said to myself. But I smiled because Reid was right. Sometimes losing it felt undeniably awesome.

Fortunately, I’d managed to pull myself together by the time Kat came crashing through my front door twenty minutes later. I was standing in the kitchen, helping myself to some of Reid’s yummy leftovers when I heard the front door slam, followed by Kat calling out.

“I’m in here,” I yelled.
 

A moment later, she came flying into the kitchen, where she dropped her green leather purse on the table and stared at me, hands on her hips.
 

I tilted my head and examined her. “What’s up?”

“That’s exactly what I want to know,” she demanded. “What aren’t you telling me? There’s something going on and I’m not leaving until I know exactly what it is. We’ve always told each other everything and I know you well enough to know when there’s something bothering you. And not just bothering you a little bit, but really getting to you. Are you in some kind of trouble? You’re not pregnant, are you?” Kat raised her hands to the sky before dropping them dramatically to her sides. “That’s it, isn’t it? Oh, God. It’s worse than I thought. You’ve gotten yourself knocked up and now you’re going to have a baby with him and he’s just so…so…ugh. Whitney, no. How could you have let this happen?”

She stopped and stared at me, looking like she might be the one to burst into tears at my imaginary baby.
 

“You done?” I asked. Kat nodded. “I’m not pregnant.”
 

Kat flew across the kitchen and trapped me, arms pinned to my sides, in a tight squeeze. “Oh, thank goodness. I know you’re smarter than that, but sometimes even smart girls make stupid decisions and I don’t know if I could have lived with that. I mean a baby. At twenty-three.”

“Twenty-three isn’t too young for a baby,” I said, but she didn’t hear me.
 

“And with William,” Kat continued. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, please tell me this little scare has convinced you to get rid of him. He’s just not for you and to be trapped with his child….can you even imagine?”

I couldn’t decide if she was being funny or annoying. I wiggled out of her vise grip and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at me. “Stop it. I’m not pregnant, I didn’t think I was pregnant, and I’m not going to be pregnant. Got it?” She nodded. “I’m not going to have anybody’s baby. Especially not William’s.” I let go of her and turned back to my lunch of leftovers.
 

“So you’ve come to your senses about him then? You have to get rid of him. I know you said he’s stable and solid and blah blah blah. But even if he really was all that and not just as boring as boiled potatoes—”

“Boiled potatoes?” I tried not to smile.

“Yes, boiled potatoes. Can you think of anything quite as boring?” I shrugged because I really couldn’t. “Exactly,” Kat continued. “Anyway, you have to break up with him. You need someone more fun. For God’s sake, you’re too young to have Pretty in Pink toes. You should be wearing Sassy Smut.”

There was nothing I could do but blink and shake my head. “Right, Sassy Smut. That’s me.” I rolled my eyes, but she didn’t notice.

“It could be you,” she said. “If you wanted it to be.”

The look in her eyes scared me a little bit. I’d seen Kat worked up before, but not quite so much. “Kat,” I said slowly, forcing her to focus on me. “What’s gotten into you? It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” she said, her eyes glistening with tears. “You’re not. You’re stuck with William and he’s sucking the soul right out of you and something’s going on but you won’t tell me and I’m worried about you and you’re my best friend and I hate watching you like this because I don’t care what you say, it’s not you, it’s just not you, and I want my best friend back.” She took a deep, gulping breath and tears slid out of her eyes.
 

“Oh, Kat.” Her head flopped down, and the tears escaped. I pulled her into a hug, which she accepted readily. “It’s fine. I know it’s not right.” Just saying the words I’d known for months was freeing. Something released inside me. “It’s fine, Kat. I’m not going to marry William. I’m not.”
 

She lifted her head and pushed away from me just enough to look in my eyes. “What do you mean?” she asked slowly.
 

“I said it was fine. I know that it’s not going to work with William.”
 

“I know,” she said and waved her hand with impatience. “After that. About not marrying him. What did you mean by that? Did he—no. Shit, no.” Kat dropped her hands and her mouth simultaneously. “He did not. He did not propose to you, did he? And without asking me. What the hell was he thinking? You’re not going to marry anyone without running it by me and any man who’s stupid enough not to realize that, doesn’t deserve to even ask.”