The End of Tomorrow (15 page)

Don't shit where you eat

I paced back and forth in front of the shops staring at my phone, wondering if Servario had gotten the message. It wasn't exactly the subtlest of my attempts at being needy in the newspaper.

Thankfully, it was easy to walk about the small town of Gernsbach. Tourists lined the streets and everyone looked the same as I did. It was like being at an upper-middle-class convention. My sunglasses and sun hat allowed me to blend in with about twenty-five other dark-haired women who were frequenting the little stores around us.

I crossed in front of the alley between the old brick clothing store and the adorable vintage bookstore, hoping to see him in the gap.

When I turned around I saw him standing under a tree, sunglasses and a smug look. He made my heart beat faster and my mouth go dry.

Forcing myself to take a second glance at the map on my phone, I walked across the footbridge that led to the park where Servario was standing in the midday sun.

It wasn’t too warm, being in the mountains and the forest, but it was pleasant. I blended in with a crowd of tourists, each of them looking at their phones and cameras, taking photos of the quaint theme running through the town. It looked like the Grimm Brothers had only been there the week before.

We walked as a group, the tourists and I. As we passed him, I separated from the herd, heading up the hill toward the small forest. It was fantasy come to life. Me and a beautiful man in a picturesque European village.

What wasn't picturesque was my reason for being there, which involved killing a man while avoiding killing a girl.

As I walked up the grass, I could hear his footsteps behind me. The sound and scent of him in the air around me made my stomach tighten. We hadn’t discussed the fact that I remembered everything from Dubai and Belgium. Things like him telling me he wanted to change the world for me or that I was with Coop because he allowed it.

Most of those things sat awkwardly in my head. I hadn’t even had the courage to try to call him. Instead, I had posted an ad:

Scarlet searching for the man of her dreams, a Rhett of her very own. For long walks through the black forest and enchanting hours spent, contact her about her love of books.

I had counted on several things. Firstly, that he knew Jack was rich and had a castle house in Gernsbach. Secondly, that he knew the town well enough to know where the bookstore, Bücherstube S. Katz, was downtown and that there was a park near it. Thirdly, I assumed he was aware of the fact that I recalled everything now and his little drugging hadn’t worked.

“You look very relaxed here in the countryside. It suits you. I have a house in the country. We should go there.”

“Of course you do.” It was likely that he had far more than one.

“Did you miss me?”

“No.” It was a lie, but while I was barely hobbling when I walked, my rib still ached enough that forgiving him for the entire affair was going to be difficult. I strolled to a large tree and stood under it, running my fingers along the bark and walking around its base so I knew it hid us from the view of town.

“I missed you.” He strolled up behind me, flashing that dimply grin when he turned and faced me.

“Well, you're close enough now that it shouldn’t be a problem.”

His grin widened. “You’ve heard this joke then?”

“Everyone has heard this joke.”

“Guess I am behind in the times.” He walked until he was so close I could taste him in the air. “Are you sorry for trying to kill me?”

I shook my head.

“That's my good girl.” He chuckled. “I would hate to see a weak display of femininity after such a display of bravado.”

“That wasn't bravado, Servario. You forced sex on me, dragged me down a hallway, and tried to beat me. That was me saying no. You should get used to that word.”

He wrinkled his nose. “I have never been a fan of it.”

“I remember Belgium. And Dubai.”

“I assumed as much when young Cooper contacted me and demanded proof of his sister’s actions and whereabouts.”

And here I had thought Coop trusted my instincts and word on the matter.

“So you remember everything. Where does it leave us?”

“How could you say all those things and then drug me so I would forget them?” The thought of it ached still. “Did you say them and then regret it?”

“No. I never say things to you I regret. I just wanted you to be safe.”

“From what?” I was getting annoyed.

“Me.” He glanced at me from over his sunglasses. His eyes burned with untold secrets and emotions. “What do you want today, Evie?”

A slow grin crossed my lips. The things I could list off, but wasn't going to, were varied to say the least:

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I wanted an orgasm, not just any orgasm either. I wanted a really dirty one. The kind where I almost peed and definitely lost control of my limbs.

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I wanted out of the Burrow. I wanted my father delivered to me.

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I wanted a commitment from him that when this was over we would walk hand in hand and never look back, and he would try to be the man I needed.

It was a long list and entirely based on selfish things. All but the one thing I actually asked for, “I want something to make memories go away, permanently.”

He pulled his sunglasses off as his brow grew heavy over his hazel eyes, making them dark. “You want something to give someone amnesia?”

“And I never want those memories back.”

He swallowed hard. “You want to forget everything?”

“Everything.”

He stepped in closer. “You want this because of me?”

“Partly.”

“What about your kids, Evie?” He ran a hand down my cheek, brushing my hair back.

“What about them?” I loved that I was playing with him and he was a little unsure of the game.

His hand ran down the front of my dress, rubbing once over one of my nipples and then down to my waist. I inhaled as he lowered his hand to the bottom of my stomach. “Do you think I am an idiot?” he whispered and brushed his lips along my cheek.

“Yes.” I nodded. “Sometimes.”

He chuckled again. “You want to take away Dr. Saunders’ memories so you don't have to kill her?”

He was smarter than I gave him credit for. “My mom tortured her brutally. She needs to forget everything.”

“Kill her, Evie. It’s one person.”

“No.” I shoved him back. “How many times have you said those words? How many times was it just one or two or ten? The numbers add up fast. She is one more in a giant pile of lives I have taken. And she is innocent. She isn’t one of us.”

“So you want to save her by taking her memories and leaving her an unfulfilled blank slate? This is better?” His eyes twinkled with something, something good. I just couldn't place the emotion. It wasn't desire and it wasn't mocking. Was it joy? Did he feel that emotion? Out of the bedroom?

“I don't want to give her to the Burrow. They’re corrupt and you know it.”

“I do.” It wasn't a question; he agreed. He stepped closer again. “Are we being watched?”

“Of course.”

“Meet me in two hours at the castle across the valley from you. It’s an inn called Schloss Eberstein. I am staying there. Do not go to the front desk. Come in the back. My room is a suite. Wear your hat and glasses—they have cameras. I will give you what you want, but you have to come alone.” He leaned in and brushed his lips gently upon my cheek as he slipped a massive key into my hand.

Before I could argue or even try to convince either of us this wasn't what we both wanted it to be, he turned and walked away. I watched, enjoying the view. A man in dress pants was a beautiful sight. A man with a firm ass in dress pants was even better.

His words rang in my head again. His words telling me that I was with Coop because he allowed it, because it kept me safe. It didn't even bother me. I didn't care that he had decided my fate. It was so closely tied with his that I couldn’t stop being manipulated by him. I didn't want to stop. He was right. I was with Coop because being with him wasn't an option.

Everything was a double-edged sword filled with contradictions.

I wanted my life to be peaceful, but I was madly in love and lust with the most dangerous man in the world.

I wanted to be a mom and drive my kids to soccer and hockey. I wanted the only thing I wrestled over to be the decision of what to make for dinner, but I loved my job as an international spy. Here I was, standing on the hillside overlooking a beautiful town in the mountains of Germany, watching the most beautiful man in the world walk away from me, leaving breadcrumbs like Hansel and Gretel had once done, leading me back to his room. And why? Because I was an adrenaline junky and a huge slut when it came to being a spy and loving Servario.

On one side of the road was Coop, offering the quiet contemplation of an easy life with a man who was easy to love and easy to live with. We shared all the same interests, and he made everything peaceful and safe. My heart was safe.

On the other side of the road was Servario, offering me none of those things. All he had was his heart in his hands and even that wasn't always available. He was the wrong choice in every way, and I was tired just from thinking about the work it took to be with him, but at the same time, he was the only choice I ever made.

My determination to make the choice of no one and be single never lasted. The resolve faded away the moment Servario was there. Where as I had lived with Coop for months doing nothing but pining after him, I had lost all control the moment I was with Servario. That was not a possibility with him.

Watching him cross the field, completely confident I would show up in his room in two hours, killed me. I hated being predictable, and with him I was always predictable.

Fuck two hours, I would be early and we both knew that.

I turned and walked down the hill to the footbridge, again blending into the crowd. I gave Coop a look and pushed my sunglasses on again.

He walked to the car, starting it and circling the block. I cut through an alleyway and jumped in when he stopped.

“So I take it he isn’t interested in helping?”

“He is. I have to meet him in two hours.”

He turned his head. “What did he say?”

“He’s going to help. He said he was going to give me what I wanted.”

“What did you ask for?” His tone was back.

“Something to wipe her memory. Really? You think I asked him for something else?” I shook my head.

“I can’t do this anymore.” His words were the ones sitting on my tongue.

I gave him a look. “Which part?” For me it was everything. I was about to resign and go into hiding with my kids and mom, the very act she had begged me to do in the beginning.

“All of it. I can’t watch you be a spy. I can’t watch you pretend anything. I can’t watch you be in danger or be scared or hurt. I hate that you fought Servario. I hate that you ran two miles barefoot. I hate that he even sees your face. My sister is dead. This world killed her, and I can’t do this with you.”

I fought the urge to shout in his face by speaking while facing forward as he drove us back to Jack’s. “Your sister is dead because she was a soulless asshole. She sold secrets. She was a liar and a traitor. After everything your father did for our country, she betrayed him and you and me and everyone. She wasn't part of our world. She wasn't even part of her own world. She was a spoiled, selfish little bitch who got what she deserved. I have no time for traitors, and I do not want to be compared to one.”

“That's not what I’m saying.”

“I know. But let’s not break things off permanently because your sister got herself killed. Let’s not even bring her into the discussion. She has taken enough of my time. Neither of us is happy with how this is playing out and that is the issue here.” I hated the words I was going to say. “You don't want to be second fiddle. You want me to be upfront. I am being that right now. I’m sorry. I agree. We shouldn't do this anymore.”

His foot slammed on the gas. “Fine by me.” He drove like a madman, desperate to be away from me perhaps. When he got to the gate he punched in the code and drove in, not even waiting for the gates to open all the way. The car just missed hitting them. I sighed my exhale when he slammed on the brakes and jumped from the car. He leaned in, giving me a look. “But this is the last time we ever have this conversation.”

“Yes.” I hated myself for hurting him but he deserved the truth.

He stormed inside with me on his heels. He went up to his room as I strolled into the kitchen, desperate for a glass of wine or a scotch.

Hilda the cook grinned at me when I got in there. “You vant drink?” she asked as if she were psychic.

“Yes, please.”

“I get you drink.” She chuckled and pulled two shot glasses and a green bottle from the freezer, pouring amber liquid and passing me on
e. “
Zum wohl!” she proclaimed loudly and clinked the glasses.