Authors: Avi
I
WAS SO FRIGHTENED, I could hardly breathe.
“Go!” Woodeth shouted, and shoved me toward the road. I stepped out awkwardly. Rauf must have seen the fear on my face because he called out, “I’m not going to hurt you. Hurry!”
Gerard, looking on, held his wounded arm.
My legs trembling, afraid to look up, I went to where Rauf was. Elena and Gerard moved to stand over me, as if to overawe me.
Rauf gestured to the man on the ground. “See if he has a purse of his own.” The poor man—his blood sinking into the earth—was no longer moving.
I stood there looking at Rauf. His face turned red with anger. “By the bowels of Christ!” he cried. “Do as I tell you! Find his purse!”
Upset and scared, I looked around. Gerard and Elena, breathing rapidly, stood there glaring at me.
With much self-loathing, I dropped to my knees by the body and with shaking hands felt about the dead man’s bloody jerkin. His purse was tied to a belt. My fingers shook
so it made untying the knot difficult.
“Faster!” shouted Rauf.
I struggled to strip the purse away, stood up, and, unwilling to look into Rauf’s eyes, gave it to him. In haste, I wiped my bloody hand on my clothing.
“There,” Rauf proclaimed as he took the purse, “Crispin has been baptized. He’s one of us.”
He reached out and twisted my face up, forcing me to look at him. He was grinning. Gerard threw back his head and laughed. Even Elena smiled.
“Quickly now,” she commanded, grabbing my arm and hurrying me to where Woodeth and Owen stood. The boy looked at me with wide eyes.
“Stop gawking!” Rauf shouted at him and cuffed him on the side of his head. Putting up his hands, Owen staggered back. The monkey grimaced and hissed at Rauf. Rauf smacked the monkey, too, which caused him to shriek.
With Elena choosing the way, we all plunged into the forest. I stole a look back. The man Rauf had killed lay on the ground near the abandoned wagon, its wheels still. Even if I had tried, I could not have escaped. I was so terrified by what had happened, I did not make the effort. I had cast my lot with a band of murderous thieves, and they
had forced me to be one with them.
Owen had spoken the truth.
W
HILE ELENA’S FAMILY had no care for the young man they had killed or the old merchant they had cut and plundered, they had much concern for Gerard. Upon reaching a grove of closely gathered trees that Elena considered safe, they set him down, gave him ease and drink, and stripped his arm bare. It was soon apparent that though his wound ran blood, it was not deep. Woodeth attended him, and did so with care and skill.
As I watched, I couldn’t help observing that amongst themselves they appeared loving, but to those left on the road, nothing.
Rauf, meanwhile, took himself and his sword and went some ways off to stand guard in case we were pursued. Within the clearing, I stayed to one side, and for the most part was ignored. All the while I kept trying to decide what
I should do. I must admit, my thoughts were not for those who had been brutally attacked. My great fear was that
I
might come to harm.
As I sat there, my eyes often went to Owen, who stayed with the monkey but apart from the others. Again and again the boy stole darting glances at me, only to turn hastily away as if fearful of being caught.
“It’s not severe,” Woodeth pronounced of Gerard’s wound, and proceeded to bind his arm.
Relieved that he was in no danger, the family’s mood eased. Elena fetched Rauf.
“Well then,” he asked, “how did we fare?”
Elena, who had taken the merchant’s purse, dumped its contents on the ground where Gerard could see it, as if to reward him for his pain. Into the pile she also flung the contents of the young man’s purse, the one I’d been forced to take.
By their judgment, it proved to be a fair clutch of coins, the reckoning of which I could not begin to guess. They took great pleasure in examining the coins, debating where they had come from.
As they did so, a coin’s glitter must have attracted Schim. Unexpectedly, the monkey leaped forward and plucked up a coin. Rauf was too quick for him. He smacked the creature
with such force the beast was flung to one side. The coin fell from his grasp. Owen cried out as if he had been struck, but dared not move.
It took some moments before Schim got up, shaking his head as if dazed. As Rauf and Gerard laughed, the battered monkey scampered back to Owen, who gathered him up and wrapped his thin arms around him soothingly. The beast buried his head in the boy’s neck.
“Since he’s yours, keep him close!” Rauf shouted at Owen, scooping up the coin. He turned to me. “You’ll see: the only thing he’s good at is begging when we play. The moment he stops performing, I’ll wring his neck. The same for the boy.”
Rauf looked at the coin as if to determine its value and then pitched it at me. It landed at my feet.
“Take it,” he called. “You’ve earned it. The beginning of your fortune.”
I stared at the coin, confused and ashamed. With the eyes of all upon me, I hardly knew what to do.
“Pick it up!” shouted Rauf. “It’s your fair wage! You’ve earned it!”
Silently praying to an understanding Jesus that He might forgive me, I took up the coin. By doing so, it was as if I had sealed the final part of a bargain. The Judas silver.
Indeed, as soon as I had the coin in my hand, they cried, “Well done! Bravo!”
I hung my head.
“Come now, Crispin,” said Rauf, “did you not tell us you once killed a man.”
“He…he set upon me,” I admitted, not wishing to talk about it.
“Do you feel burdened by that death?”
“I do. And in Jesus’s name, wish it hadn’t happened.”
“Would you say, then, that fate forced you to act?”
I squirmed with discomfort. “I…I was trying to save my father.”
“The same with me and my good brother!” cried Rauf. “To save him, I had to kill that man.”
I thought to say, but didn’t:
But you needn’t have attacked him.
My silence seemed to goad them on. “Crispin,” said Gerard, “as the bountiful Lord knows, we all call ourselves His good creatures. But are we not merely mangy dogs, forever fighting over scraps and bones?” He looked to Rauf, who grinned.
“Since God gave us life,” Gerard went on, “is it not our obligation to live as best we may? Lords and kings are more successful at it. How do they do it? They tax the poor.
Well then, may not a poor man levy a tax as well?
They
have laws and soldiers to enforce
their
tax. We have our wits and blades. Is there a flea’s breadth of difference?”
“A fair speech, brother!” cried Rauf, laughing.
How I wished I had words to answer him. When I said nothing, Elena said, “Crispin, I suspect you are young enough to be still trying to cling to your soul.”
“I try,” I murmured all too weakly.
“Mark me, Master Crispin,” said Rauf mockingly. “In all of Christendom, there are but two sorts: thieves and those who supply the thieves with their needs. Each must choose which part to play. Did not Our Lord Jesus honor thieves when Saint Dismas—the good thief—was crucified with Him and joined Him in heaven?”
To my shame, I did not know how to answer. I caught Woodeth’s eye. She was staring at me. I chose to see some sympathy. But she said nothing.
The money was all shoved into Rauf’s bag—the one I had looked into before.
Their taunting done, I sat alone and brooded over what had been said. They seemed bent upon making me despise myself, seeking to make me like them. I told myself that a sinful life likes companionship just to ease the sin. I sought further consolation by choosing to believe they were only
saying these things to salve their guilty souls.
As I sat there, I kept trying to imagine how Bear would have answered them. Or what Troth would have done. I eyed the bloodstains on my clothing. It gave me the thought: I had been privileged to be with Troth and Bear—whom I considered angels. Perhaps God had sent these devils to test me. Shuddering, I was sure that unless I could redeem myself, I was truly lost and damned.
The best I could do was put my mind to ponder what they might be planning for Calais. I began to fear that they had welcomed me to do some particular service. But what that might be, I could not imagine.
For the moment, however, Elena decided that Gerard should take his rest, which meant we traveled no more that day. During this time, I remained quiet, trying to be with them but not of them. No one told me I must remain. That said, many a furtive glance informed me I was being watched. My fear of them was such that I might as well have been in a dungeon. I had no doubt that if I had tried to escape, I would have been hauled back…or worse.
I watched Owen. He was ordered about by first one and then another of the family. He carried food. Cleaned boots. Beat dust from robes. Hauled wood for the fire and then tended it. While they talked among themselves—with little
mind to him—not a word was shared with him, though both Rauf and Gerard occasionally administered a cuff or a kick. As the boy had claimed, he was treated like a slave. The only one who showed him any kindness was Woodeth, and that but an occasional soft word. Moreover, she did so furtively, clearly not wishing to be heard by the others.
When the day was done—we ate bread and cheese—and night closed in, they let me sleep where I chose. I kept telling myself I should leave. I didn’t. It was not merely my fear of them. I’ll not deny it: I found some safety in being with them. Better with than against. Besides, I kept telling myself that once they led me to Calais—which I doubted I could find on my own—I’d escape and find a ship bound for Iceland.
I settled down to sleep, as did the others. I don’t know how much later it was when I was woken by a pull on my arm. I struggled out of my sleep to see Owen bending over me—as he had the night before.
“Crispin,” he whispered very softly. “Are you awake?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve learned their plan.”
I stared up at him and his poor, bruised face. “What is it?”
“They intend to steal from that merchant’s house. The
place where they’re going to play.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“You see how they treat me.” He darted a look over his shoulder. “They’ll do the same to you.”
I gazed at him. “I’m going to leave them when we get to Calais.”
He clutched my arm. “I beg you…take me with you!”
The request took me by surprise.
“Please,” he whimpered, “I’ll not live otherwise.”
“If I can,” I said, to his misery and without much thought.
“Will you…will you promise?”
I nodded.
He snatched my hand and kissed it, then retreated hastily into the dark.
I lay back, feeling alarm. Why had I made such a rash promise to the boy? How was I to help him when I could barely help myself? I should have held him off.
The very next moment I saw things in a different way, telling myself that here was a God-sent gift! If I could successfully aid this battered boy, I might go far in redeeming my soul by gaining some forgiveness for my part in plundering the dead man.
I
N THE MORNING Elena announced that Gerard was fit to travel. Besides, she reminded us, that wedding at which they wished to perform would take place soon. She was determined to reach Calais as quickly as possible.
Haste was fine with me. I could not get there—and then away from them—fast enough. As for Owen, he kept stealing glances at me in the most furtive of fashions. Fearful he would be noticed, I wanted to tell him to stop but dared not.
We set off, moving through the woods until we came upon a path, then a road, no doubt the same we had been on before. Once there I was in dread that they would find some new innocents and prey upon them as before. Happily, none appeared.
It was during the afternoon that I began to smell that mix of salt and seaweed which I remembered as being the sea.
“We’re closer to the Calais border than I thought,” Elena proclaimed with delight when we took a rest. “From here on we should have an easy time of it.”
I saw Gerard and Rauf exchange a glance, but could make nothing of it. On the contrary, as we walked on, the
musical instruments were brought out—Gerard excused because of his arm—and much merry music was practiced and songs sung. I played the recorder. It served to distract me from the chill. But once again I marveled at these people, able to play such sweet sounds and yet be so cruel.
The forest began to thin. The soil turned loamy. In places it became sandy. The sea smells grew in intensity. Then, just as we were coming around a clump of trees, where the land abruptly lay open, we saw soldiers.
Because we had come directly out of the woods, we saw them without their noticing us. Rauf, who had been in the lead, reacted swiftly and had us retreat in haste back among the trees. From there we were able to spy out with perfect safety.
I counted nine soldiers. All had metal bassinets on their heads and wore what looked to be leather jerkins over chain mail. Some were armed with swords; others held pikes. All of which meant they were in a state of warlike readiness. One of the soldiers—he had a white cross emblazoned on his chest—stood near a horse.
They appeared to be gathered around a fire from which a small curl of smoke drifted in the air. Moreover, their position suggested that they were encamped near the road upon which we were traveling. If we went forward, we would
surely go near to where they were.
As we stared, no one spoke. I whispered, “Who are they?”
“Can’t you tell?” said Elena, never taking her eyes from the soldiers. “The one near the horse is wearing the cross of Saint Denis.”
“The sign of the French,” said Woodeth.
“But…what are they doing?” I said.
“We must be close to the border,” said Rauf. He spoke more to Elena than to me.
“The English pale should be just beyond,” said Gerard.
“But we’ve not crossed the sea,” I said.
“Fool!” said Rauf with his usual brusqueness. “I told you: Calais, though in France, is English. But the French control the outlying area to the east and south.”
“What he means,” Elena said to me more kindly, “is that these soldiers are blocking this road to keep anyone from passing into Calais.”
“Is there war here?” I asked.
Woodeth pushed her hair away from her face as if to see better. “The French and the English are always at war.”
“Let’s pray,” said Rauf, “there aren’t more about. But may the devil take these.” He spat on the ground.
Remembering what the French had done in Rye as well
as the awful consequences of our dealings with English soldiers, I asked, “Will they do us any harm?”
“Only if they catch us,” said Gerard. “God’s wounds, they have no love for the English.”
As we stood there watching, Rauf kept glancing at me, enough to make me uncomfortable. Then, abruptly, he pointed some short distance away. “Crispin! Stand back there. Owen! You too!”
I looked to Elena.
“Do as you’re told,” she said.
Given no choice, Owen and I moved where we’d been told to go. The monkey, perched upon the boy’s shoulder, chattered softly.
While Woodeth stayed near us, Gerard, Rauf, and Elena drew close and began to confer amongst themselves in low voices. I could not hear what they said. But more than once Rauf glanced in my direction. It made me uneasy.
After a while Elena turned. “Crispin!” she called. “Come here!”
Apprehensive, I went to them. As I approached, Rauf put a heavy arm around my shoulder and gathered me in while the others drew close. I felt small and trapped.
Rauf cupped my face in his rough hand and stared down at me. “We have a vital task for you,” he said.
“What you’re going to do,” said Elena, “will be of great importance.”
“And when you do it,” said Gerard, “as you surely will, we shall feel very grateful toward you.”
The mock camaraderie of their voices rankled in my ears.
Rauf—still holding me hard—glanced toward the French, then turned back to me. “There’s no saying what those soldiers might do if we try to cross right before their eyes. Poor minstrels that we are, they might let us through.”
“In God’s world miracles do happen,” said Gerard, “but then again, it might not come to pass.”
“More than likely they would search us,” said Rauf, offering me a knowing look.
My mind went to his money bag.
“So you must see, Crispin,” Elena said to me, “it’s not a chance we should take, is it?”
“I suppose not,” I murmured, guessing that was what they wished me to say.
“You suppose correctly,” said Rauf, grinning while giving me a rough shake. “You’ll be pleased to know that when you first stepped out of the woods, I had the thought that you might be useful at such a place as this.”
I could not tell if he was mocking me or not.
“What we need of you, Crispin,” said Elena, “is to coax those Frenchmen away from where they are—away from us—so we can reach the city safely.”
“Me?
” I cried.
“Here’s what you will do,” Rauf said as if it were all decided. “We shall retreat back among the trees and then proceed that way.” He gestured in an eastward direction. “As we do, you will go forth and attract the attention of those soldiers.”
“But…how could I?” I said, shocked by what they were telling me to do.
“By walking that way,” said Rauf, pointing in a westerly direction, toward some hills, “you’ll attract them.”
“Enough to bring them after you,” said Gerard.
“And when you do lead them
there
,” Rauf went on, “we, having gone east, shall cross northward over the plain. Of course, when you escape these Frenchmen, you can rejoin us.”
“Together,” continued Elena, “we shall make our way to the city.”
“But…but,” I said, finding it hard to breathe, “what if they catch me?”
“You’ll need to make sure you don’t let them,” said Rauf with a false smile. “Because if they do—and Crispin,
I am nothing if not honest to you—they will most likely kill you.”
I could hardly believe what they were telling me to do.
“But if you’re quick,” added Elena, “you’ll live.”
“Could…could Owen come with me?” I said, with perhaps too much hope in my voice.
“The boy?” said Rauf. He glanced around at Owen, who was standing with Woodeth. “Of course not. We need him. I realize he has become your friend. Fair enough. Just know, if you don’t do what we ask, I promise you it will go the worse for him.”
“What do you mean?” I cried.
An impatient Elena said, “Don’t be stupid, Crispin. By doing what we ask, you’ll keep the boy safe from harm. Is that clear enough?”
I could not reply. How could I? To protect themselves and their wealth, they were prepared to have me killed. And do harm to the boy. It took me some moments before I found tongue enough to say, “Will…will you…will you give me a weapon to defend myself?”
Rauf looked at Elena before saying, “We’ve none to spare.”
“Crispin,” said Elena, “if you’re in danger, use your legs.”
With a tumbling sense of dread, I glanced at Owen. He
returned my gaze. I don’t know what message I was trying to send. I had hoped to save him, and now there was no great likelihood I could even save myself.
Rauf clapped a hard hand on my shoulder, swung me about, and walked me forcibly until I reached the edge of the grove where we had been concealed.
“Crispin,” he said, as if confiding, “we wish you to be part of us. Consider this a test. The more you prove yourself, the more you’ll be with us.” He ruffled my hair in a gesture of affection.
Feeling only loathing for them all, particularly for him, I said nothing.
“Godspeed,” said Rauf. With that, he gave me a hard shove, so that I fairly stumbled out of the trees and into open land.