Authors: Jennifer Foehner Wells
“We are not a vain people. Individuals are judged capable not on appearance, but on merit. Skills are valued above all else.”
He’d noticed her staring. “Oh, that’s awesome, I mean—I—” She sputtered until she just gave up.
He leaned in, clearly reveling in her discomfort. “Does my appearance please you or repulse you, Leebska? Or have you decided?”
She put her palms flat on the table in an attempt to ground herself. “No—I mean—I’m just curious. You…” She sighed. “I’m not trained in interplanetary relations, can you tell?”
“No matter. We are companions, confined together to these rooms, for now. You are free to do as you wish, within reason. You’ll not be confined to the sleeping cell unless you cause more problems. But, be forewarned that if you do decide to do anything foolish, I will not be gentle in suppressing you. I am not eager to give up what little freedom I have.” He waved his fingers and turned all his attention to his food and drink.
She lingered for a moment until she was certain that had been a dismissal, and then she left the room to be alone with her thoughts.
t
hirteen
The days stretched out, long and lonely. Darcy spent a lot of time sitting on the floor opposite the egg cell with her knees drawn up to her chin, watching them squirm and tremble inside their tiny, fluid worlds. They were completely innocent and knew nothing of the ugliness of the universe on the other side of their rubbery, ovoid membranes. She ruminated on that, and her guilt, as she observed them day after day.
She thought about Adam often. She still didn’t know what had happened to him, if he was okay, or where he was being kept. She appealed to Raub to help her find out, but he usually just grunted when she brought it up. He said that no one on the ship cared to keep track of who was who. He had no way of knowing which human was the one she described because there were many of them aboard.
Today she was remembering the quirky way Adam had introduced himself to her in the college library. She’d been immersed in studying when he’d sidled up to her table, unburdened himself of his backpack, sat down, and opened a book.
He hadn’t said a word or even met her gaze, but it had gotten her attention. The library had been virtually empty. There’d been dozens of study carols and open tables he could have used. When dinnertime rolled around and she’d gotten up to leave, he’d simply smiled, making eye contact for the first time, and extended a hand. “I’m Adam,” he’d said shyly, and he’d gone back to studying. He’d showed up frequently after that, always quiet, never bugging her.
She couldn’t decide for the longest time if it was cute or creepy. Finally one day she’d had enough. She’d started out accusatory, threatening to call campus security or even the dean. Truth be told, she’d been in a pretty grumpy mood. She’d had a physics test the next day. He’d frowned and admitted that what he had been doing was pretty weird, but once he’d started on the path he hadn’t known how to stop and he was too shy to know how to do it properly. He’d gotten up to leave, promising not to bother her anymore. He’d been so earnest and what he’d said had rung true. She’d noticed him around campus since his visits had started, always just as alone as she was. So she told him to wait and asked him what his major was. They’d started talking. Then they’d had dinner together in the caf that evening. And that was it. They were inseparable. They just clicked. They had a lot in common—both biracial, both outsiders in all the groups everyone else felt they intrinsically belonged to, both serious students. They quickly fell into an easy friendship that eventually led to more. That time in her memory seemed almost magical.
Darcy sighed and returned her focus to the eggs. She found herself feeling protective of them and checked on them often. She rearranged them frequently so that they all had equal exposure to air and none of them were crushed under another’s weight. The creatures moved so much that the eggs shifted and often managed to rearrange themselves. She wanted to be sure they’d all survive. When she asked for more information about them, Raub said he knew nothing about bug young and told her she was being ridiculous, that they didn’t need any care.
They grew quickly, filling the volume of the eggs. They’d soon hatch as larvae and then the hymenoptera would take them away to another chamber, Raub said. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. On one hand, super-sized larvae sounded disgusting. On the other, she was exceedingly curious to find out what they would look like and how they’d be cared for. She wasn’t afraid of the sight of human blood or internal organs. She was going to be a doctor—she needed to let go of this insect-related squeamishness. These new individuals’ lives were just as important as her own. Handling them daily reinforced that. It helped, somehow, even if her efforts were meaningless to anyone but herself.
She thought the hymenoptera might object to her touching the eggs, but despite the fact that Raub said they were being watched at all times, no one tried to stop her. She made a point to be very deliberate and open about her actions. She touched them carefully and spoke aloud, describing what she was doing and why she thought it might need to be done.
She never interacted with anyone but him, and even that was infrequent. Raub was let out of the rooms several times a day to retrieve food and water, but no one ever came in. A couple of hymenoptera would stand outside with shock sticks, their pincers on the door controls, and then they’d escort him away and lock her in. She kept her distance.
She talked to the eggs, told them about her life before the abduction. How hard medical school was. What living in the Arizona heat was like compared to Ohio. How good Adam was to her, bringing home her favorite chocolate milkshake on particularly rough days, just hanging with her when she was too tired to go out, or giving her random extra-squeezy hugs to cheer her up. The monologues tended to make her feel sad.
Sometimes she sang to them, whatever she could think of—lullabies, nursery rhymes, Beatles songs. She wasn’t much of a singer and it all came out of her in a weird mishmash of English and the language from the chip in her brain. The rhymes didn’t rhyme anymore, and sometimes that made her giggle at the absurdity of her situation—singing to insect eggs because it seemed like a good thing to do and she had nothing better to fill her time with. At least it felt sort of therapeutic.
Raub rolled his eyes whenever he caught her singing. He spent most of his time either exercising or meditating. They rarely spent time together except for meals. She got the distinct impression that he tolerated her because he had to.
An egg wriggled atop its pile with such force that it rolled off over the edge of the cell and onto the floor. Darcy picked it up, examined it for any visible injury, and when she didn’t find any, balanced it on her knee, peering through its murky membrane at the developing individual inside.
She heard the door open between the rooms and broke off midsong.
Raub came in and leaned against the wall, frowning. “You should do something more productive to pass the time. You squawk like a seabird.”
She shrugged. “There’s nothing to do. I’m just waiting to be sold.” Saying those words made it feel so real. She focused on the egg on her knee so she wouldn’t think about it.
“There’s plenty to do, Leebska. Your physical condition is appalling. Let’s start with that.”
She considered her options. As an only child she had long ago learned to entertain herself, but without anyone to talk to or books to read, games or anything else to occupy her mind aside from fiddling with these larvae, the loneliness and boredom were beginning to eat at her. Raub’s demeanor reminded her of a bully’s, but if there was no one else in the schoolyard and the bully wanted to play, even the bully could begin to look fun.
She couldn’t stop her eyes from lighting up at the prospect of doing something different, even though what he was hinting at seemed to be exercise. “What did you have in mind?”
“I’ll teach you to make the most of your time within this limited space and with few tools.”
He would teach her something, huh? She’d gotten the impression he wouldn’t do anything without getting something in return. She felt somewhat suspicious despite the eagerness welling up inside. “Why?”
He grunted and an amused half sneer pushed up one side of his mouth. “Call it charity, Leebska.”
She snorted. There didn’t seem to be a quid pro quo.
“Besides, I can’t take another minute of your incessant warble. It’s a form of aural torture.”
She rolled her eyes. He was always complaining about something, like an irascible old dude.
“You will be quiet and focused. You will do as I say. It will serve you well.”
She stood, stooping to lay the egg among the others. She didn’t like being ordered around, nor was exercise something she enjoyed, but something to do to pass the time? Yes. She’d agree to following his orders if there was something, anything, to distract her from her tortured thoughts. Reluctantly she said, “Okay.”
He turned, went into the dining chamber, and pushed the table out of the way. She followed, feeling like an eager puppy. He pointed to an area of open floor in front of him and she quickly moved to occupy it. “First, we quiet the body with a measure of fatigue. Pay attention to detail. This is a short sequence, called the Sahventahl. I expect you to learn it quickly and to execute it flawlessly. It works every muscle group, improves circulation, and moves lymph.”
He spread his feet shoulder width apart and pressed his hands to his sides. She did the same. He slowly lifted one foot and placed it deliberately one step in front of him, balancing his weight, while turning at the hip to face forty-five degrees away, sweeping both arms over his abs in front of his body and pushing out in that direction without extending his torso. She watched him closely and mimicked him, careful to execute her movements in a mirror image to his. He continued at a very slow pace, moving fluidly through pose after pose that bent and twisted her body in ways that felt surprisingly good.
Raub was possessed of a feral grace. He seemed to have gone inside himself. His expression was more tranquil than she’d ever seen it.
It reminded her of Adam’s tai chi chuan group. She used to sit under a tree in the quad and study while he practiced with them. Just watching the fluid, graceful, synchronous movements had been peaceful. He’d taught her a little bit, but never very seriously because she hadn’t shown much interest and she didn’t have the free time. Now she wished she could have that time back with him. It was something they should have done together. There were so many things she would have done differently if she’d known what was going to happen to them.
This routine consisted of slow punches, extensions, stretches, and kicks. At first they seemed simple, easy, but many of the maneuvers took so long to execute that after a few repetitions she was feeling a burn. As she began to get a feel for the sequence, she watched less and focused more on her own position and stance.
His focus shifted as well, to a more watchful attitude. More than once he barked at her, “Hold!” and she forced herself to maintain the position without drooping as they arced through a movement at a snail’s pace—when all she wanted to do was drop her arms and legs and sprawl on the floor. She wouldn’t do that, though. She’d always been stubborn like this. It was her competitive nature, she supposed, or a lifetime of allowing herself to show no weakness in front of whites or blacks. She would go until she dropped, or he finished, whichever came first.
He completed a sequence, lowered his arms, and ordered, “Continue.”
She flowed back into the first movement and kept going. Sweat ran down her forehead, around the curve of her brow and down the side of her face to drip on the floor as she reached over and extended her neck to one side. Raub sidled up to her, so close she could smell his alien, musky scent. He lifted her arm a bit higher, closed his fingers over hers to adjust them into a slightly different position.
He circled around her. As she bent at the waist and swiveled, he leaned in over her shoulder and raised her chin with a finger as he whispered in her ear, growling, “I cannot control who they sell you to, Leebska, but I can give you a fighting chance once they possess you. Accept me as your instructor and I will teach you to fight—for your life, for the freedom you desire so strongly, and for control of this power you wield.”
Her muscles trembled and her abs burned from the strain of holding the position so long. “But, why—?”
He came around in front of her and supported her leg with a hand as he pushed her center of gravity back through the slow kick. “Like this,” he said. Then quietly, “We will not speak of this. We must use caution or they’ll separate us. They must think we only endeavor to keep our minds and bodies healthy. They already observe my own exercise regime daily and do not question it. Do you accept my offer, Leebska?”
She frowned. She wondered what he might expect in return for this training. He’d mentioned charity, but she couldn’t be sure what that meant to him. She also was unclear about how he could possibly teach her to fight when Hain and the hymenoptera were surely watching them.
Right now she was hating Raub more than a little for baiting her to continue well past the point where she’d wanted to quit. But the idea of being more physically fit, the chance to learn to defend herself, the possibility of escaping, to control her own destiny—all of that was worthy of some effort, some risk.
Except he wasn’t answering her question. That galled. She turned her face slowly until it was near the tan tufts of hair covering the place where she assumed his ears would be. “What do you have to gain from helping me?”
His expression stayed blank. He adjusted her posture again. “An ally who is prepared to act should an opportunity present itself.”
What does that mean?
A muscle in her leg trembled. She gritted her teeth and continued the movement at the excruciating pace he set. She was pretty sure it was more than that. There was too much calculation lurking behind those freaky dark-blue eyes. But what else did she have to do?