The Doctor's Society Sweetheart (14 page)

He half expected her to square her shoulders, gently brush away the tears, lift her chin, her posture perfect, as he’d already seen her do several times. But she didn’t.

‘What now, Dart?’ Even more tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at him. She blinked once, twice, her vision blurring, her lashes wet with the tears that were now overflowing onto her cheeks. ‘Do you need more evidence of my feelings? To know that even with all my debutante and finishing-school training, I still can’t pull myself together enough to be around for J’tagnan’s happy homecoming? I hate feeling out of control and
you’ve
made me feel this way. You’ve brushed my feelings aside, content just to hold my hand, to kiss me, to say that you’ll protect me, when in actual fact you’re only planning on doing those things until we leave Tarparnii.’

She worked hard to keep her voice strong, to get the words out that she needed to say. So many times in the past, in so many different circumstances, she’d bitten her tongue, she’d held the words back, she’d been the perfect hostess, always polite, never emotional. Well, not this time.

‘I love you, Dart. I
love
you, and if you don’t want that love, fine. You don’t have to have it but it also means that from this
point onwards you don’t have
any
of me. I will not be some toy, some pawn you use. I’ve been used enough. I’ve been pushed and pulled in one direction or another my entire life and I’ve decided that enough is enough.’

‘And you don’t think you’re a strong woman,’ he stated clearly.

She brushed impatiently at the tears before spreading her arms wide. ‘I don’t feel strong. I’m standing here. Crying in front of you. Begging for affection.’ She shook her head again. ‘Why is it that I always have to beg for affection? Why am I always the one who is doing the chasing, especially when I never end up catching anything but indifference?’ She hiccupped a few times before covering her face with her hands. ‘I’m a fool. That’s what I am.’

‘You’re not a fool.’ His words were vehement. ‘You are
not
a fool, Emmy. You’re incredible. You’re wonderful. You’re powerful, and I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry?’

‘For not believing you meant every word you’ve ever said to me.’

‘So…you believe that I love you?’

‘Yes.’

‘That it’s not just an infatuation? That it’s not just a holiday fling?’

He paused. ‘Your feelings are yours. I should never have discounted them.’ Dart wanted to haul her into his arms, to wipe away her tears, to press his mouth to hers and never let her go. ‘I couldn’t allow myself to believe that you loved me because I didn’t think I deserved it.’

‘Deserved…?’ Emmy was slightly confused and removed her hands from her face, accepting the tissue he held out to her.

‘Your love. I didn’t think I deserved a second chance at
happiness and made myself believe that what you felt for me was only a passing infatuation. That it wouldn’t last.’

‘
Second
chance? So you have lost someone dear to you.’

Dart nodded. It was time. Time to open up the past and share it with this special woman. ‘Six years ago. A raging bush fire ripped through the countryside where my parents lived. It tore the place apart, the flames huge, like a towering inferno. I’d gone home for Christmas, taking my…my fiancée with me.’

Emmy had a quick mind and she realised in an instant what Dart was saying. His parents. Family and friends and…his
fiancée
. He’d lost too many people, maybe the three people he’d cared about most, in one of the most horrific fires their country had ever seen. She remembered the fires. She remembered seeing pictures of the devastation. She’d been working overseas in England at the time but it hadn’t stopped her from sympathising with the plight of her countrymen. Now she discovered that the man she loved had lost those who had been most dear to him in those very fires.

‘Oh, Dart.’ Emmy put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. His arms came instantly around her, holding her close, grateful for her touch.

‘That’s why I couldn’t lose you. I needed to know you were safe,’ he murmured, kissing her soundly. ‘You’ve come to mean so much to me in such a short time, Emmy. For years I’ve carried around the loss of Marta and my parents. They left an enormous void in my heart, one I thought would never be filled. I’ve lived with my loneliness, wishing I’d been able to do more, wishing I’d been there with them at the end, but I wasn’t. I’d been called back to the city for a couple of days. They were fleeing the fires, driving away from the danger…but they weren’t quick enough.’ He broke off and pulled back from her, still holding her hands in his.

‘In one brief, devastating moment I lost everyone I loved. It
left an enormous hole inside me. For a long time I had no idea how to cope with my loneliness, the guilt I felt, even though I know there was nothing I could have done to help them. I’ve come here to Tarparnii ever since and I have to say that being here, helping these people, it does go a long way to helping ease my pain.’

‘But it never completely goes away,’ she stated.

‘Correct.’

‘Dart.’ She looked into his eyes. ‘I know that feeling. The one where you’re surrounded by people but still feel so hollow, so alone deep down inside.’

Dart remembered how she’d told him about her family life, how she’d been raised in a household devoid of love. Yes, she understood that feeling of loneliness and even though they’d walked very different paths, they’d ended up at the same place. Perhaps it had been inevitable that they meet. It was as though their lives had taken different twists and turns but both of them had ended up here, at this moment in time, together in each other’s arms.

‘I’m sorry you’ve had so much pain in your life,’ he murmured, drawing her closer again.

‘The pain isn’t that bad any more.’

‘Something changed?’ he asked, a small smile on his lips.

‘Yes. You. You’ve come into my life and splashed it with bright, beautiful colours, Dartagnan Freeman, and I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.’ She smiled through the silent tears that had slid down her face at hearing him talk of his past.

‘I haven’t done anything except perhaps help you realise your own inner strength.’

She smiled and sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. She knew he hadn’t confessed to loving her but he
had
opened
up about his past, he’d shared his pain with her, and that in itself told her she was important to him.

After a few minutes of standing in silence, she eased back and took his hand in hers. ‘Let’s go back to the celebrations.’ Dart smiled and hand in hand they walked back towards the gathering, Emmy felt strong and secure, not only in her self but in her ability to convince Dart that the emotions that existed between them were destined to last a lifetime.

W
HEN
Emmy looked out of the small window of the aircraft, the early morning sunrise having been one of the best she’d seen in a long time, she couldn’t help her excitement at seeing Sydney airport below. While she’d had a great time in Tarparnii, she was also happy to return, eager not only to get to the studio to start editing the film footage but also to be back in her own country…with Dart at her side.

During the past few days they’d worked alongside each other in clinics, they’d pitched tents, lugged medical supplies to and from the trucks. On the way back to Meeree and Jalak’s village, Dart had encouraged Emmy to climb from the truck and meet the young soldiers who were only doing their duty.

Emmy had been highly resistant at first but with his careful encouragement and the promise that he’d keep very close to her at all times, she was able to see that the young men with guns were only doing their job and were quite nice to talk to. She knew it was nothing like her previous experience with guns and the horrifying kidnapping she’d endured, but it was still one step closer to helping her get rid of the sporadic nightmares that had plagued her dreams ever since the event.

Having Dart by her side had made her feel safe, protected, and she knew she wanted to feel that way for the rest of her
life. She wanted him with her, needed him with her, and she certainly hoped he felt the same way.

Although ever since they’d said farewell to Meeree and Jalak, Dart had seemed to grow rather pensive and now, as she held his hand, her excitement bubbling over at arriving back in Australia, he seemed agitated and unsettled within himself. Why wasn’t he excited about coming home? He had three days in Sydney for a debrief with PMA before he would head home to Brisbane, where he lived.

Emmy angled her head to the side and looked at him. Was that the problem? Did he think that because they lived in different States a little thing like geography would keep them apart? Was he still worried that now they were out of the tense and very different situations they’d faced in Tarparnii, they would change? Drift apart? He believed she loved him, of that she was certain, but was he being cautious because things could still go wrong? She wished he’d talk to her rather than retreating within himself.

‘An uneventful flight,’ she murmured as they disembarked from the small plane and walked into Sydney airport, Dart still quiet but his arm firmly around her shoulders. ‘Do you have to go straight to PMA?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

Emmy nodded. ‘I’ll be heading to the studio with my crew. Shall we meet later?’

‘OK.’

She tried not to grit her teeth at his monosyllabic answers and it reminded her of the first day they’d met. Hadn’t they both changed? Taken a step forward into a new part of their lives? She knew she’d decided to wait for him to get his head around things but it didn’t mean she wasn’t going to get totally frustrated with him. ‘Great.’ She worked hard to keep her tone upbeat. ‘When? Where?’

Dart stopped walking and looked at her. They were in
the main baggage claim area, and the place was swarming with people. There were chauffeurs holding cards with names scribbled on them, there were families hugging and greeting each other, talking non-stop to catch up on news. There were photographers, journalists, television crews and reporters swarming around someone at the far end. There were businessmen, walking out of the airport doors, briefcases in one hand, overnight bags in the other. There were so many people and where, usually in crowds like this, he’d felt isolated and alone, making his way through everyone else’s hustle and bustle, this time, with Emmy by his side, holding his hand, talking to him, the loneliness had disappeared.

Dart knew he should get his head together and as he looked at her now, hearing the veiled frustration in her tone, he realised he should actually pay her some attention, talk to her, open up to her.

He simply wasn’t used to it. For far too long it had been he and his thoughts, alone together. Alone…He didn’t want to be alone again. He had Emmy and in the past few days she’d shown him what life could be like once that enormous, lonely void he’d been living with for the past six years was filled.

‘Sorry, Em.’ They’d stopped by the baggage carousel so that Emmy and her crew could collect their bags and equipment. Dart put down his one canvas bag and cupped her face in his hands, bending down to brush a kiss across her lips. ‘I haven’t been very good company for the past few hours.’

‘No.’ She smiled, pleased he was talking to her. ‘Why is that, do you think?’ And please don’t tell me it’s because you’re having second thoughts about us, she thought silently. While nothing clear had been resolved about their futures, the fact that they were interested in spending time together was what she was working with.

‘I feel…disjointed whenever I return to Australia. It’s just how things have always been ever since I joined PMA six
years ago.’ He closed his eyes for a moment as though trying to think of the most straightforward way to explain how he felt.

‘Going to Tarparnii offered me an escape from my life here and in some ways I guess I prefer my life in a jungle in the middle of nowhere rather than here, in a large city in the middle of everyone.’ He glanced around at the people near them. One or two guys with cameras around their necks were talking to Emmy’s crew; families were embracing and others were hefting luggage off the carousel, eager to be outside.

He returned his focus to the woman who held his heart. ‘Besides, I’ve never had anyone here when I arrived back in the country. After my parents and Marta…’ He stopped and shook his head. The past was the past. He needed to think forward into the future, even though he had no idea what that held. ‘I’ve never had anyone special to greet me. Also, I don’t particularly like airports. Always so busy.’

Emmy giggled. ‘They do tend to be that way, yes.’

At her teasing words, her laughter, he looked down into those blue eyes he could continue looking into all day, every day, for the rest of his life. ‘Now, though…now I have you.’

‘Yes, you do.’

He exhaled slowly, feeling the previous tension and stress melt away. ‘You are so incredibly beautiful, my Emerson-Rose. Your eyes are like the sky on a cloudless day, so bright, so blue and so relaxing.’

Her lips curved up into a wide smile before she grabbed at the front of his polo shirt and tugged his head towards hers. ‘You really shouldn’t say things like that to me because then I can’t resist kissing you,’ she whispered against his mouth.

‘Ah…but maybe I say things like that simply so you
will
kiss me.’

‘Smart man.’ With that, she stood on tiptoe, desperate to close the remaining distance between them, desperate for his
mouth to be on hers, making her feel as though she were the most precious, most gorgeous woman in the world. She loved the way his arms came about her, making her feel so loved, so protected.

He’d been lost and lonely for so long that his own country felt foreign to him. Flashes of white light surrounded them and it was as though the rest of the airport patrons disappeared. She knew it was often this way when Dart held her, when he kissed her, when he let her feel just how important she was to him. Nothing mattered except for the two of them.

With incredible reluctance he drew back, knowing this venue was not the place to start something they had no time to finish. Dart kissed her once more. ‘I need to get going. Where do you want to meet tonight?’

Emmy smiled, a plan forming in her mind. ‘You haven’t seen much of Sydney, have you?’

He shook his head. ‘It’s usually just a stop-over between Brisbane and Tarparnii and only then because PMA headquarters is here.’

‘Well, tonight, my darling Dartagnan, I am going to show you
my
Sydney. I’ll send a car to pick you up from your Parramatta hotel at seven o’clock. Make sure you’re ready.’

She’d send a car? Dart dismissed the thought, not wanting to be the cause of making the light in her eyes disappear. She was happy. His Emmy was happy. Surely that was all that mattered? ‘All right.’ He bent and claimed her luscious lips once more, still marvelling at the fact that he had the right to do so even though they came from very different worlds.

Case in point—she was going to send a car for him. Why couldn’t he simply catch a taxi and meet her? He knew she had a town-house in Sydney and he knew it was in one of the expensive suburbs, close to the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. Dart had also expected her to suggest he come and stay with her while he was in town but she hadn’t. Did that mean
that she didn’t want him to see her place? That she thought he might think it was too fancy? Too flashy? Too rich?

He pushed the thoughts from his mind, simply content at this moment just to absorb her, hold her close, taste her sweet goodness, which he knew would only leave him begging for more.

‘Will you two get a room?’ Emmy heard her cameraman mutter. ‘You’re making me miss my wife.’

They broke apart, Emmy smiling at her colleague before reluctantly releasing the man of her dreams. ‘Until tonight.’ She held his hand as they stretched apart, Dart slowly moving away from her. When only their fingertips were touching, Emmy started to feel a sense of panic. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted him to stay, never leave her side, always be with her, but she knew neither of them could live the rest of their lives in each other’s pockets. That wasn’t how happy and healthy relationships progressed.

She’d worked long and hard to gain her independence and she knew that Dart would never take it away from her. Rather, he would be there, strengthening her, encouraging her, helping her to reach her full potential.

Dart gave her fingers a little squeeze then winked as he let go. ‘Tonight.’

As Emmy watched him walk away from her, she felt bereft, as though a part of her was instantly missing…And it was.

Dart opened the door to the room at the modest hotel at a quarter to seven, feeling exhausted from the day of being poked and prodded by the PMA medics to ensure he was in good health. He’d had a psychological evaluation and would undergo another one tomorrow. He’d handed in paperwork and passed on his appraisal of Tarvon. Combined with the emotional upheaval of leaving Meeree and Jalak, his other
friends with PMA and Tarparnii in general, it had been a very full day.

Yet throughout the entire day, he’d felt as though a part of him had been missing. He’d found himself on several occasions looking around for Emerson, expecting her to be somewhere close. It had taken a split second for him to realise he was doing this and each time his pain at being separated from her increased.

It was an odd sensation to be so reliant on someone else when for so long he’d locked his heart away. He had no idea how things were going to work out with Emmy. He wasn’t locked into working in Brisbane but wasn’t sure he wanted to move to Sydney. The logistics, the necessity to make plans had given him a headache so he’d vowed not to think about them…for now.

As he stood beneath the hot, refreshing spray of the shower he knew the last thing he wanted to do was to go out. Why couldn’t Emmy just come here? They could snuggle up together, watch a movie and order some room service. Then he remembered the way her eyes had come alive at the thought of being out in Sydney with him, of showing him the city she lived in, and he knew he would never be able to refuse her such an experience.

He’d just finished dressing, wearing a pair of jeans, shoes and a clean polo shirt, when there was a knock at the door. That would no doubt be the driver of the car Emmy had sent for him. He reached for his wallet and room key before opening the door, surprised to find a hotel employee standing there.

‘Oh, good evening, Dr Freeman.’ The slightly balding man in an off-the-rack suit held out his hand. ‘I’m Mr Pfeiffer, the hotel’s manager.’

‘Is there a problem?’

‘Uh…no. No. I simply wanted let you know that the car is
here to pick you up and has been redirected to the rear of the premises. I’d be happy to escort you.’

Dart frowned as he closed the door and stepped out into the corridor. ‘Why is the car out the back?’

‘Because of the press in the front lobby, sir.’

‘Press?’ Dart’s eyebrows hit his hairline.

‘Yes, sir.’ Mr Pfeiffer held out an evening paper. Dart’s eyes almost bulged out of his head as he saw a picture of Emerson and himself kissing passionately at the airport. The picture was on the front page with a large splashy caption that read, Emmy’s Mystery Man—Love at Last?

‘But…this was only this morning.’ Dart was completely perplexed. He had no idea how he could be on the front cover of a newspaper so quickly.

‘The paparazzi work fast,’ the hotel manager replied. ‘This way, if you please, Dr Freeman.’

‘How did they find me? None of this makes any sense.’ Dart allowed himself to be led through the hotel to the rear doors where a limousine was waiting, the chauffeur opening the door the instant he saw Dart.

‘Please feel free to use this entrance on your return if necessary, Dr Freeman,’ Mr Pfeiffer said, simpering, and as Dart glanced back at the man, he couldn’t help but notice how the hotel manager’s eyes gleamed with delight. No doubt it was a coup for him to have such an important guest staying in his hotel.

Dart shook his head in astonishment and quickly climbed into the rear of the limo, pleased, surprised and relieved to find Emmy waiting for him inside. She was dressed in a dark blue dress, her hair curled and coiled on top of her head, light make-up highlighting her incredible features. Her smile was bright and encompassing and the instant he sat down she reached for him, drawing him close and pressing her mouth to his.

‘You look…’ Very different, he wanted to say, but he couldn’t help the way his body responded to the way she was dressed. ‘Beautiful, Emmy. You always do. No matter what you’re wearing.’

She laughed and the sound did something to ease his frazzled mind. ‘I’ve missed you so much today. I had no idea it would be this much,’ she murmured against his lips. ‘After being together night and day, especially for the past few days, it’s been so strange not to be with you,’ she continued as the car started to move.