Authors: C.J. Harper
Kay is biting her lip.
‘What?’ I say.
‘It’s maybe a lie—’
‘Just tell me.’
‘They say that when enforcers go on sick leave that they . . .’
‘What? Come on!’
‘That they go out into the Wilderness,’ she says in a rush.
They’ve sent my mother out into the Wilderness where feral boys eat people.
‘But they can’t! She was a teacher!’ I say.
‘I don’t think they . . . What-do-you-say? . . . care. I don’t think they care about the enforcers, like they don’t care about the Specials.’
‘How long for?’ I say.
‘How long?’
‘How long is this “sick leave” for? I mean if you can avoid those freaky boys it is possible to survive for a few days out there.’
‘I don’t know.’ Kay is screwing her hands into a ball.
‘Well, think! What about the last time? When enforcers go on sick leave how long is it usually before they come back?’
‘Listen, Blake . . .’
I can see it in her face before she even finishes her sentence.
‘No one has ever come back.’
‘I’m going out to get her,’ I say.
‘Blake, that’s a no-bad-shouldn’t,’ Kay says.
‘I have to. I’ve got to go after my mother.’
‘They’ll eat you.’ She clenches her fists and for a moment I’m pleased because Kay doesn’t want me to be eaten. I laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.
‘It’s not laugh-y,’ she says.
‘Funny. No, it’s not funny.’ I wonder if it’s still freezing outside. ‘I’ve got to help my mum.’
‘You can’t get out. We still don’t know how to get out that door.’
‘We won’t need the code if I get thrown out,’ I say.
I pull on my boots and head for the grid. Kay follows me. ‘I wanted to come last night,’ she says. ‘I wanted to tell you about your mum, but I couldn’t. Rice kept me in the LER.’
I stop in the middle of the empty corridor. ‘Thank you for trying to help my mum. I’m sorry you were in the LER.’ I don’t know what else to say. I’ve got to think.
‘I want to help,’ Kay says. ‘Maybe we should wait for the night then we can try to get out the door.’
I don’t know how to feel about Kay right now, but I can’t help feeling a rush of warmth that she says ‘we’. She tried to protect my mum and Ali and I haven’t even asked what Rice did to her in the LER because of it. Some of my anger from last night dissolves. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t wait till tonight. When did she get sent out?’
‘I don’t know. It was late, after big Specials bedtime, when Rice took her away.’
I bet he chucked her straight out. ‘So she’s probably already been out there for hours.’
Kay nods.
I’ve got to get thrown out again. I need to misbehave, and fast.
Outside the grid other Specials arrive and gather around us and when the door hisses open we cram into the room. At the front, the cage is already occupied. Wearing a thunderous scowl is Enforcer Rice himself.
An Hon Red girl pushes past us. ‘Carma’s not here. She’s having her baby,’ she tells Rice. Kay is in front of me and I see her give a tiny shake of the head. Rice sees it too.
‘I don’t know why you’re shaking your head,’ he says to Kay. ‘At least Carma knows her duty.’ He looks down his nose at Kay. ‘Not like you, you disobedient little tight-legger.’
I’m instantly consumed by a wave of anger that shoots up me like electricity. I shove my way between Specials up on to the platform and hurl myself at the cage. How dare he? The bastard. The low, miserable, efwurding bastard. I throw myself at the cage again, my fingers scrabbling through the gaps, trying to get hold of his arm. He flinches back into a corner. ‘Don’t you
ever
speak to her like that!’ I say. His eyes are wide with fright. Bloody bars, if he was out here I’d break his nose. I try to shake the cage, but Rice has gone for his baton, he lunges at me and presses it on to my arm. Electricity jolts through me. I’m thrown backwards and land in a heap. I struggle to my feet, glaring at Rice. Kay helps me up. Her hand is so small and so smooth. I want to destroy anyone who tries to hurt her. She gives me a half-smile. ‘Now he’ll exclude you like you wanted,’ she whispers.
I’d forgotten all about that.
Rice is too shaken to enjoy himself lording it over me. ‘Send him out. Now. Two days,’ he says to the two impeccables he’s called in to ‘handle’ me.
As I’m bundled out of the door I look round at Kay. She’s looking back at me.
The impeccables push me down the corridor, past the dining hall and round to the back door.
They push me outside and march me straight down the path towards the fence. As soon as they bundle me through the gate, I run in the direction of the woods. I get all the way to the trees with no sign of my mother, or anyone else. The wind is still cold, but weak sunshine is filtering through the branches. Snowdrops are pushing up through the ground. Spring’s finally coming.
I move further into the woods, past a pond and on to where the trees are thicker and less light penetrates. In a clearing I find the remains of a fire. I have to force myself to scan the ground for bones. There are none. But I do find a knife. The blade is dull and it’s half buried. I don’t think anyone has been here for a while, but I can’t really tell.
I slide the knife into my belt. Something rustles behind me. I spin round. Probably a bird I tell myself, but there’s the sound of dead leaves crunching and branches breaking. Something big and heavy is making its way towards me. I can hear panting. I look around. My best bet is to get up a tree. I turn and grab at a branch, but I’m arrested by something crashing into the clearing and falling at my feet.
It’s my mother.
Her clothes are torn and her face is so pale that I’m afraid she’s just dropped dead, but then she takes a ragged breath and opens her eyes. I crouch down beside her.
‘Mum? I’m going to get help.’ My mind is racing; where can I get help? ‘I’ll be right back, I promise.’
She grabs my wrist.
‘No,’ she says. ‘Don’t go.’ She tightens her grip on me and I look down and see that her hand is covered in blood.
‘Mum, what’s happened to you?’
She lifts her head a little and looks down at her stomach. I realise that the dark material of the enforcers’ uniform is even darker there. She’s bleeding.
‘It’s not as bad as it looks,’ she says dropping her head back. ‘Stomach wounds always look messy.’
‘Those boys stabbed you?’
She nods.
‘I’ve got to get you a doctor,’ I say getting to my feet.
‘No! You’ve got to listen to me.’
‘But . . .’ I’m almost sobbing.
‘I’m all right.’ She heaves herself into a half-sitting position against a tree. ‘It’s fine. It’s not getting any worse. I want you to listen to me for ten minutes then you can go back to the Academy and get someone to come and help. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ I say.
‘I’m sorry about last night. Rice—’
‘I know. Kay told me.’
‘Kay was brave. I wanted to get you out, I really did . . .’
‘It’s okay. Don’t worry, you’ll get better, we can make new plans. We can still escape.’
She fixes me with her gaze. ‘I don’t know, darling. I don’t know if that’s the best thing for you. I’m afraid that you’re still in danger.’
I still haven’t told her what I found out when I was excluded. ‘Do you mean those men from the factory? When I was out here before, I found Wilson; he told me that it was me they meant to kill.’
She nods. ‘I was afraid of that. I should have told you about all this before. We never had any time. I thought that if I could just get you out of the Academy there would be plenty of time to explain.’
‘Explain what? Do you know why those men wanted to kill me?’
‘I . . . I’m not sure. I need you to think. That day they attacked, was anything different? Did you do anything unusual?’
‘We went on the metro. Facilitator Johnson wanted us to deliver a package and those men were waiting for us.’
‘What about the day before?’
The day before was a Wednesday. I used to spend my free session on Wednesdays working on my computer skills. Actually, now I do remember something different about that day. That was the day I tried to find out about my father. The day I hacked into the Register and looked at my details.
Mum’s eyes are fixed on me. I can’t see how this is important, but I want to tell her everything she asks.
‘I . . . I got into the National Register,’ I say, bowing my head. ‘I tried to find out who my father was.’
Mum sucks in her breath.
‘I’m sorry, Mum. I don’t even care about my dad, I really don’t—’
‘It’s okay. It’s perfectly natural that you have questions about your father. It’s my fault. I should have handled this differently.’ Her lips are horribly pale.
This is stupid; we’re wasting time on things that really aren’t important.
‘But that’s got nothing to do with those men attacking me and Wilson,’ I say.
Mum pulls herself up a little more. ‘I’m afraid your father sent those men to kill you and then he wiped your records from the Register.’
‘My father? But he died . . .’ Before I even get the words out I can see from her face that he’s not dead.
‘You lied to me! Who’s my father? Why would you think that he’d want me dead? Besides, you’d have to be someone really important to fiddle about with official records like that.’
My mother looks at me with a trembling lip. ‘Someone really important like The Leader,’ she says quietly.
I stare at her.
She gives a tiny nod of her head.
My father is The Leader.
‘No. No!’ I say.
She blinks a yes.
I feel like someone has drained all the warmth out of me. ‘How could you . . . be with someone like that? Do you know what that man has done?’
She nods. ‘When I met him he was different. Or at least I thought he was. I was so young. I met him at a political meeting before he was The Leader. He thought like me then. Or at least he said he did.’
‘What happened?’
She looks down. ‘I only saw him that one time. And then . . .’
‘You were pregnant.’
‘And I’m so glad. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, sweetheart.’
‘Did he ever come back? To see me?’
‘He didn’t know about you.’
‘Why not?’
She looks down. ‘I found out he was married.’
Without meaning to, I gasp. I can’t believe my mother would do something like that.
‘I didn’t know what to do for the best. Then he joined the Leadership and they seized control of the country and brought an end to the war and all of a sudden he’d become this important man who I’d hear about on the news. Not long after that he was made Leader. I started hearing rumours about some secret policies of the Leadership and I wasn’t so sure that I wanted him to be a part of your life.’
My head is spinning. ‘I don’t understand. If he doesn’t know I exist then why do you think he’s trying to kill me?’
‘The Leader’s security team spent a lot of time checking out any potential threats from his past. Your father must have mentioned me and when they found you on the records they sent a man to see me. He told me that The Leader was going to be the saviour of this country and that it was important that people trusted and respected him. He said people looked to The Leader for moral guidance and his marriage mustn’t be compromised. They didn’t want an error in judgement . . .’ She shakes her head. ‘Those were the words he used, “an error in judgement” from his past coming out and upsetting people. He said I must never tell anyone or . . .’ She sucks in her breath. ‘Or it would be the worse for you.’
‘But that was years ago.’
‘Yes, but then you looked at the Register.’
‘I don’t understand why that’s significant,’ I say. ‘I just had a snoop around my file. I didn’t find anything out about my father. There was way too much security round the file. I didn’t see anything.’
‘Exactly. I’m sure there isn’t normally that much protection surrounding parentage. Who do you think put that security there? He was waiting. You tripped his warning system. As soon as he knew someone was taking interest in your parentage he decided you had to go.’
‘Is his name on my records? Surely someone else would have noticed?’
‘It doesn’t work like that. I didn’t give his name, but when a child is born a record is created that includes a genetic portrait of both parents. He’s the only possible match as your father. Someone would only need to see his medical records to prove it. He doesn’t want you turning up and spoiling his impeccable reputation.’ She sighs, her face is growing paler by the second and I know that she needs help, but I need to understand what she’s telling me.