Her mother’s outraged expression was the last thing they saw as he wheeled her out of the waiting area.
Chapter Thirteen
It took them fifteen minutes to get from the front door to the bedroom. The combination of his still-sore knee and her fresh injuries kept them moving slowly, with frequent rests.
Sam groaned as she flopped down on the bed, one arm flung over her eyes. “Remind me again why this was a good idea.”
“I can’t,” Cody said, lifting her legs and putting them under the covers. “Scoot over. I think I need a nap.”
Sam rolled carefully onto her side. Cody slipped under the comforter with her, his arm wrapped around her waist. She sighed contentedly as his body heat warmed her from shoulder to toes. “Okay, I remember now.”
“Remember what?”
She lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Why this was a good idea.”
He raised up on his elbow and waited for her to turn and look at him. “Are you sure you’ll be okay tonight? Do you need your mom to help out, or my mom?”
“Absolutely not.” She placed her palm against his cheek. “I checked with Dr. Miller before we started the discharge process. I’m fine. I just have a few bumps and bruises. That extra-strength pain reliever is already helping. All you have to do is wake me up a couple of times tonight, for the concussion check.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I like that idea.”
“Turnabout’s fair play, huh?” She smiled and tried to stifle a yawn. “Sorry.”
“You’ve had a long day,” he said. “Go ahead and sleep.”
His gentle smile was the last thing she remembered as she faded into sleep.
Cody woke to an arm slapping across his face.
Frowning, he lifted it away.
Sam moaned, thrashing in her sleep, pushing Cody to the edge of the bed. “Wake up, sweetheart,” he said softly, stroking her back. “Come on, wake up.”
She bolted upright in bed, almost knocking him off the bed completely. Her eyes were wide with fear. “Cody!”
He wrapped his arms around her gingerly, trying not to hurt her. “I’m right here, sweetheart.”
She was shaking, her whole body shuddering as she clung to him. Hot tears soaked through his T-shirt to his shoulder.
Long moments later, her crying jag slowed. Sucking in a deep breath, she disentangled herself from him and sat back, her face averted. “I’m so sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” He scooted closer and stroked her hair away from her face. “Bad dream?”
She closed her eyes. “Oh God, Cody, it was so real. The bull was so close…”
“But you’re safe now.” Slowly, carefully, he settled her back under the covers and held her until her breathing evened out.
He stared at the ceiling. She’d come so close to real tragedy yesterday. And much as he hated to agree with her mother, he did have to cop to some part in the incident.
If he hadn’t been hurt, she wouldn’t have pursued her theory with such determination. And she would never have been hurt.
He looked over at her face, so peaceful in sleep, and blew out a shaky breath.
At least one of them would be getting some sleep tonight.
Sam woke up alone.
Slipping out from under the covers, she pulled on her bathrobe and opened the door. It was definitely time for another painkiller, though her injuries felt like they were healing. Luckily, she would be good as new in just a few days. Padding down the hallway in bare feet, she didn’t register the sound of voices until it was too late.
Two heads turned as she entered the family room. Mr. DeLong stood up. “Mornin’,” he said as he took a step forward. “I hope you’re feeling all right today, Sam.”
Sam clutched the lapels of her bathrobe and prayed fervently for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She knew darn well what she looked like—hair tousled, barely dressed under the bathrobe. How supremely unfair to have the whole morning-after look going on when all they’d done last night was sleep. “I’m fine,” she said weakly.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have doubted you,” Mr. DeLong said. “And even more sorry that you were harmed by that—that person.” He looked as though he’d rather suck old lemons than say Brett Anderson’s name.
“Thank you,” she said. “But really, the only person responsible for what happened to me is Brett.”
“I still can’t believe he would go that far.”
Sam pulled her bathrobe even closer, hoping she could hide the shiver of remembering what happened. “Money makes people do crazy things.”
Cody put his arm around her. “That it does.”
She leaned into his warmth. With a smile at Mr. DeLong, she asked, “So what happens next with the rodeo?”
Mr. DeLong shook his head. “We’ll be testing every bull that competed this year, and setting up a random testing procedure for future contests.”
Cody nodded. “As long as the word gets out that Four Corners randomly tests for steroids, that should be incentive enough to stop using it.”
“You’d think so.” Mr. DeLong sighed. “I just don’t know anymore.”
“I think it’s a good plan,” Sam said. “And thanks for stopping by to check on me.”
“Well, that was part of it,” Mr. DeLong said. “I also brought some trainer information for Cody here.”
Her gaze shot to Cody. Trainer?
Cody looked down. “Numbers for trainers who work with riders recovering from injuries.”
“Well, son, best of luck to you.” The rodeo man clapped him on his uninjured shoulder. “I’ll be looking for you at the finals.”
He scooped up his cowboy hat and put it on, then headed for the door. Sam let him out with a rote smile on her face. The minute the door closed behind him, she whirled around. “Trainer?”
“I’ll need some help getting back in shape before I even think about competing.”
“Competing?” Sam stared at him in horror. “You can’t seriously be thinking about bullriding again.”
“Well, of course I am,” he said. “It’s what I do.”
“But it almost killed you this time!”
“No, it didn’t.” Cody leaned against the wall, his eyes intent. “It’s never good to get hurt in the arena. But my injuries weren’t all that bad. The shoulder and knee are healing well, and you even heard Dr. Miller say there’s no lasting danger from the concussion.”
“What about next time?” Sam crossed her arms over her chest in a vain attempt to control her shaking. “What happens then?”
“I can’t live my life avoiding what I love because something might possibly happen,” he said softly. “I love to ride. It’s what I know, what I’m good at. And I’ll do everything in my power to stay safe.”
“You can’t promise that you won’t get hurt.”
“It’s the best I can do.” He reached out a hand as if to touch her, but she flinched away. After a short pause, he let his hand drop. “Dammit, Sam, I know how hard this is for you. I wish it could be different.”
“Me, too.” The words were barely above a whisper.
“So where do we go from here?”
“We?” She gave a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t see where I have a vote in this.”
“Sam.”
“I don’t! Just like my mom didn’t have a vote in whether my dad got on that bull or not.”
“I’m not your father, Sam.” He leaned forward, his eyes unwavering. “And I don’t believe that you really want to be your mother, either.”
She sighed and dropped her head. The thought of all those fights, her mother’s pleading, her father’s silence. In a way, it had killed both of them, even before the accident.
“One thing I could always say about you, Sam, is that you were never a coward. Is that still true?”
“That’s unfair.”
“Or are you still hiding out here, in your safe little world?”
The hell of it was, he was right. Her entire world was encased in bubble wrap, protecting her from everything she used to love.
Or it had been, until he came back into her life.
“I’m not trying to be mean, Sam. I just want you to be happy. And the fear that rules you right now is making that impossible.”
“I—can’t.”
“I’m so sorry.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “It would probably be easier if I go, wouldn’t it?”
Don’t leave me.
She clenched her teeth against the plea clamoring to get out. Unable to trust her voice, she could only nod.
He stood in front of her for long moments, his gaze searching her face. Then, with a pungent oath, he headed for the bedroom to pack.
It shouldn’t have ended like this, at a stalemate neither was willing to break. Cody zipped up the suitcase and rolled it out into the hall, taking one last moment to look around the bedroom.
Damn, he was going to miss it.
Every moment, every memory of this place came back to Sam. The girl he’d once known, the woman he’d grown to love.
For a second, time stilled.
Then he shook his head and kept walking. No, it wasn’t love. Lust, like, attraction, those he could cop to. But love? Not a possibility.
His jaw tight, he headed down the hallway, wishing they weren’t parting on these terms.
Sam stood by the door, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Lips pressed shut, she thrust a sheet of paper at him.
He glanced down. It was the list of trainers Mr. DeLong had recommended.
He stood there, searching his mind for something to say, when Sam finally broke the silence.
“You know what I resent?” She didn’t wait for him to respond, just barreled through. “I resent the rodeo.”
“I know you don’t want me to ride, Sam. I just don’t know how I can give it up.”
“No, not that.” She brushed it off with a wave of the hand. “I resent that they’re so willing to help you get back on the circuit, with the phone calls and the references and the support. But the minute my dad died, they disappeared. I guess you’re only worthy of that support when you’re still a rider.”
Cody shook his head. “That’s not the way the rodeo operates. We’re a family, Sam. We look out for our own.”
“Then explain to me why nobody called. Nobody stopped by. Nobody even said they were sorry for our loss. Mom and I were left totally on our own.”
“That’s not true.”
She whirled on him, eyes blazing. “How would you know? You didn’t even bother to come to the funeral. Nobody did.”
“That’s because your mom wouldn’t let us.”
Sam stopped. “What?”
He took a step closer. “She told my parents you were too upset to be around anyone from the rodeo. It would be like rubbing salt in the wound, she said. So we respected your wishes. Everybody did.”
“I…” Her mouth opened and shut, her expression stunned.
“What do you think we were talking about yesterday? Your mom may not be willing to tell you the truth, but I won’t lie to you. And it’s not fair to blame the rodeo and the people in it for what happened thirteen years ago.”
Sam just stared at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
“Sam. I know you’re angry with me, and I understand it. Just don’t tar the whole rodeo with that brush. There’s a lot that went on back then that you clearly didn’t know about.” His heart squeezed a little at how lost she looked. “Look, I think you need a little time to work this out on your own. You need to decide what it is that you want. When you figure it out, you know where to find me.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Take care, Sam.”
She stood in the doorway until the cab he’d called for drove away.
Chapter Fourteen
The crunch of gravel under her tires still echoed inside the interior of the car as she switched off the engine and sat for a moment. Outside, a swift breeze ruffled the grass at the edge of the fencing, kicking up tiny dust devils in the dirt.
A woman in well-worn jeans and a plaid flannel shirt stepped out of the large building, one hand held above her eyes to shield her from the bright sunlight. She squinted over at Sam’s car.
Sam, bowing to the inevitable, opened her car door and got out. She ruthlessly beat down the spurt of panic that rose up as she looked past the woman to the darkened interior of the building behind her.
“Can I help you?” The petite blonde stepped forward, wiping her hand on her pants before holding it out to Sam. “Sorry about the dust. I wasn’t expecting any visitors.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam said, shaking her hand. “I should have called first.”
“Of course not.” She flashed a smile. “That’s why we’re here. I’m Heather, by the way.”
“Sam.”
“So, Sam, what brings you by the Lazy M?” Heather stepped back and motioned her toward the open doors. “Do you need boarding, or some training sessions?”
Sam sucked in a deep breath. “Actually, I’d like to sign up for riding lessons.”
Heather nodded. “Great."
Sam fell into step with her as they walked back to the stables. Strangely, the closer they got to the open doorway, the more her tension eased. The scent of fresh-mown hay and well-tended horses wrapped around her like a familiar blanket. Inside the stables, soft whickers and the stamp of hooves sounded.
"What level would you say you’re at? Beginning, or do you have some experience?”
“Actually, I used to be pretty good. But it’s been a long time since I was on a horse.”
Heather picked up a clipboard and pen as they passed the counter just inside the stable doors. “How long, and was there any particular reason you stopped riding?” At Sam’s sharp glance, she added, “If there’s a trauma involved, it helps to know about it in advance so I can adjust my training program.”
“Fair enough.” Sam squared her shoulders. “It’s been thirteen years. And I think I need to tell you about my dad.”
Every muscle in his body ached.
Cody dragged himself up from the comfort of his warm bed, glaring at the bright red numbers on the bedside alarm clock.
He was not going to miss the five a.m. wake up.
The sun was just coming up over the practice arena when he stepped outside, hands thrust into his jeans pockets. There was a nip in the air, but it would be hot later.
Not for the first time, he wondered how Sam was doing. He hoped she was getting to the point where she could let go of the past, and move forward into the future.
Even if that future didn’t include him.
Not wanting to think of that depressing possibility, he shoved it out of his mind and focused on the upcoming training session.