The Devastatingly Beautiful Series (8 page)

16

Tatum

I watch Molly fall asleep before I leave the room. Mere hours ago I thought I’d never see her again and now that she’s back, I plan on doing everything I can to finish this and spend the rest of my life making her see how much I love her. There is one problem I need to get out of the way before I can do all of that though.

One secret that could force us apart for good.

Dialing my dad, his number goes straight to voicemail. I need his advice. He the only other one that knows the truth about what happened that night and I need him to talk me through how I’m going to tell her my biggest secret.

****

2 years ago

Candace walked into the room and looked at me with those giant eyes I was growing passive to. I really didn’t want to fight that night and I really didn’t care if she left like she was always threatening.

“Nate, I have news,” she said, walking towards me, smiling and smacking her gum. Dear lord, could she have been any more annoying?

“Spill it, I’ve got somewhere to be.” So I was being a jackass. It was happening a lot more the longer she was around.

“You are going to be a daddy!” she squealed and jumped in my lap. I lost all control of my movement and dropped/threw her across the couch.

“What the FUCK are you talking about!?” I managed to get out. My heart started racing. Was that what a panic attack felt like? I couldn’t have a kid!

“I haven’t had my period yet and I’m about a week late, baby. Aren’t you excited!?” she squealed.

****

I’m brought out of my flashback by a car door slamming. I look out the window and see a familiar figure stalking towards the house. Before our guest is able to ring the doorbell, I open the door.

“Father.” I nod and let him inside.

He follows me to the living room and sits on the black rocking chair. I smile at the thought of him being a grandpa, but can’t bring a picture of what it would be like in my head.

“Nate,” he begins.

“Please, dad, call me Tatum.”

“I see you are still using the name your mother wanted for you.”

I stare at him. While I’m appreciative that he’s helping us out in this bizarre situation, I haven’t seen him in a while and I can’t shake the anger towards him. Anger for what he did to my life, and for how he treated me afterwards.

“Yes, I am. Molly is more comfortable calling me Tatum and I like it. It stays.”

My father smiles and nods in approval. He snaps his fingers and the man standing quietly at his back moves forward.

“This is Ian. He is to stay with you at all times. Appointed to both you and Molly as protection detail. The things we have found about this gang are enough to fear for your life and the life of the woman you love. I need you to realize this.”

“I get it, pop. They took her, you know. They cut her up, bruised her, beat her, and sent her back just to show me that they can.”

“There will be no leaving this house without Ian. For either of you.” I could fight him on it, but I’ve never won any argument with him. Grinning, I realize this means we will be cooped up together for days. This could be fun after all. There are so many parts of her I still need to explore.

“Fine, but tell me what you know. How are we going to finish this?”

“Son, you have ears listening. Why don’t you invite her in and let’s get introductions out of the way.”

He’s right, Molly’s standing in the doorway now, eyes wide and frozen in place.

“Um… hi,” she whispers. Looking at me, she adds, “Is this your father? In my house?”

She looks so weak standing there. I rush over and help her to the couch.

“Sweetheart, you need to take it easy. You shouldn’t be walking around by yourself.”

The look I get from her shuts me up immediately.

“Hi, I’m Molly Ward.” She reaches out gently to shake my father’s hand.

“Al Savage, nice to finally meet you, Ms. Ward.”

“Molly, my father came here to help settle things with Brian and the gang involved in the kidnapping.”

“Thank you for that, Mr. Savage. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy…uh… schedule to help us.” As she speaks, her eyes narrow. I can tell she isn’t happy with him being here. Who would be though? Al Savage is nothing short of the scariest man in the country. Hell, his flesh and blood are even scared of him.

“It is my pleasure, Molly. It is okay that I call you that?” he asks. She nods and he continues. “Molly, before we go any further, I can tell you my son really cares about you. He is struggling with something at the moment, however. Something that is in his past and can’t be changed. Something that you need to know before going any further in his relationship with you. I will give you two the updates I have on the gang as soon as you are looked over by my personal doctor and you speak with Tatum.”

With that, he walks out of the room. My father is a strong man and he also knows how to get right to the point. Blunt and controlling.

Molly

Well, at least it isn’t Brian and his men again. Al Savage, however, isn’t much better. I feel like I need to get out the fine china for such a powerful man. Everything he is saying is going way over my head at the moment, until he mentions a doctor and walks out of the room. I look at Tatum and he is staring at the door that his father just walked out of, rubbing his jaw.

“What was he talking about, Tatum?”

At this moment, the man I’m assuming is the doctor comes walking into the room, talking a hundred miles an hour. He checks me out, gives me a few stitches and medicine that will control an infection that has started, as well as some painkillers. Rest and more rest are his final words, and he leaves us alone.

“You mind telling me what is going on?” I snap. I probably don’t want to know whatever it is he has to tell me, but I need to hear it so we can get on with this investigation and get Brian off my back. “I said no doctor and I don’t appreciate your father being in my house without me even knowing about it. Now apparently there is something so big that you need to tell me it has put our investigation of Brian on hold.”

He looks at me, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“I’m not sure you have ever been this mad at me.” He gapes. “All I want is for you to be safe. If that means going against your will at times then so be it. Luckily the doctor did come along since you have an infection already starting. And, Molly, if anyone is going to get to the bottom of this, it is my father. I hate it as much as you do, but he’s a powerful man with ties everywhere.”

I stare at him, unmoving. He knows what I want, but he’s dancing around it for some reason.

“Molly, I left home because something in my past was keeping me from being the man I wanted to be. It was ruining me, turning me into someone else,” he says, rubbing his hands together.

He moves and sits next to me on the couch, but doesn’t touch me yet.

“When you told me about losing your daughter, I felt a connection to you immediately. I didn’t tell you because you were hurting so much, so to tell you my story seemed silly at the time.”

“You know the darkest parts of my life and you’re still here, Tatum. There’s nothing you can say to me that’ll make me run now.”

“I know that now, Molly, but when we first met I was running away from everything and didn’t know who I could trust. I know now that my story may not be the happiest of stories, but it is my past and I have to live with it every day of my life.” He takes a breath then continues. “Molly, a few years ago I had a girlfriend. We weren’t serious and I had probably cheated on her a dozen times. I didn’t care. I was an asshole. I used protection every time, but somehow she ended up getting pregnant. I wasn’t ready to be a father when she told me. I was mad at her and couldn’t believe her until I saw the test done at the doctor’s office. The tiny heartbeat, Dammit. The tiniest of blips on the screen and I was hooked. That baby changed something in me. I was reading the books, buying the baby things before we even knew if it was a boy or girl. I couldn’t help myself. I was in love with a blip.”

Tatum pauses and takes a breath. His eyes are shining with unshed tears before he goes on.

“All I wanted was to spend my days with the baby. When he was born I cried. I cried harder than I had my entire adult life. I helped make this tiny miracle.”

Tears are welling in my eyes, threatening to spill over any minute. Tatum has a child. A life somewhere else that doesn’t involve me. As I feel my heart beginning to break, he goes on.

“His mother, though, didn’t want me. She was finished with me the minute she got pregnant, but since he was mine, I had every right that she did. Plus I was a fountain of money to her. Once he was born, she filed for full custody. He was about two weeks old when the papers were filed. She and I had a huge fight and she stormed out of my house. I’m not sure what happened next, all I remember were the cops showing up at my door.  Apparently she was so angry she forgot to click the car seat into the car correctly and when she ran the red light next to my house, the car was hit on the baby’s sides. You can imagine what happened.”

I am crying now. He didn’t think this was a huge event!? This is something you tell someone. I don’t know what to say so I don’t say anything. I just hold onto his hand for dear life, knowing the story isn’t over.

“His mother was killed on contact. Apparently not wearing a seat belt is a pretty good way to get killed in an accident. The baby was airlifted to the closest children’s hospital. I was notified once he got there. Being so young and tiny there wasn’t much they could do for him. He was not buckled into his car seat correctly, plus he wasn’t snapped into the car. She had done everything wrong, all because I picked a fight with her before she left. He had swelling on his brain and was fighting for his tiny life when I arrived. They let me hold his hand. His tiny hand… that didn’t grasp on to me anymore.” He’s crying, but goes on. “I buried my son a week later. They couldn’t help any more than they had.”

My God.

“I’m…. Jesus,” I whisper, not knowing what to say. We’ve both suffered the loss of a child. We both know what it’s like to lose the one thing you love most in this world.

“That’s not all, Molly. The same day, the same intersection, the same time… my father was in a car accident. Someone ran a red light and he side swiped them.”

I gasp. That isn’t possible. No one should go through that much trauma in one day.

“No, don’t tell me he….”

“Yes, he hit her car which resulted in the death of my baby boy.”

We sit here in silence for who knows how long before he finally quietly says, “I became Tatum that day. I told myself I was a changed man. I wasn’t taking life for granted anymore. Yes, I was angry with my father. Things will never be the same between us, but I also know he isn’t to blame. I now understand I am not to blame either. For the longest time I blamed myself for making her angry and causing her to forget everything she did, but I know now that isn’t the reason. It has taken me a while, but I’m finally at peace with everything.”

“What was his name?” I ask. “It is important to be able to say their name, even when you think you are at peace.”

“Charlie. Charles Nathaniel Savage. She wanted him to have my last name. Opportunities and all.” He shakes his head. “You are the first I’ve talked to about this in well over a year.”

“I’m glad you chose to tell me. I know how difficult it can be, bringing it all back up. Sometimes you wish you can forget, but you never do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about what my life would have been like with Alice.”

“I didn’t ever want to be a dad before Charlie. Then when I lost him it was like my life didn’t have meaning before. Like everything I did didn’t matter before he came along.”

Tatum looks up at me, finally.

“Will we ever be able to get past what happened to us, or are we both too damaged to have our happily ever after?” he asks quietly.

That is the first I’ve heard him speak of wanting a happily ever after and it warms a part of my heart that I thought died a long time ago.

“You’re right, you know. We are both damaged. But who is to say that we don’t deserve a happy future? With the right people in the right circumstances… I still believe.” I lean over for a kiss. He takes my face gently between his hands and kisses me back. It is a lighter kiss than we shared earlier, but just as sweet and emotional.

“What I don’t understand,” I ask, “Is why your father thought this needed to happen now, when there are men out there for our blood?”

“He almost lost my mother over something that happened before they were married. Something that he should have told her, but chose not to. He may be a ruthless, take no prisoners type of man, but he’s a softie when it comes to love.”

Love.

“Tatum…”

“Molly… just... Listen. It may seem soon to some, but I can’t go another day without telling you. I love you, Molly Ward. I knew it the first time I met you in the park, when I made a jackass out of myself. You’re the first girl that’s ever been real with me. The first girl who sees me for me, and not as a giant bank account. I love you, Molly. I see a future with you. I want a future with you. When you were taken… well there was a time I thought I’d never see you again and all I could think about was that I never told you how I felt. I don’t want any more time to go by with you wondering how I feel. This is real, Molly. I love you.”