The Destroyer (28 page)

"I think that you are putting more value in sex than everyone else does. No one would care if we were lovers. People exchange partners more often than they do weapons in our camp, and it never creates any schisms." She bit her lip lightly

"Perhaps that is true amongst the troops. I need to hold myself to a higher standard. I cannot have sex with one of my reports."

"Fine. I will quit. Give me another job. I don't want to be your commander anymore." She pouted and her eyes softened. Her voice was still a whisper.

"You would not be happy with that. You were meant to do this. You have risen faster and learned quicker than anyone else here, even me. Consider your team of warriors," I pointed to her group working hard below us on the shield drills. "Would you abandon them so easily because you want to share my bed? I couldn't imagine you staying back while the rest of us wage this war." I met her gaze.

We stared at each other for a few minutes. She was tough. Brilliant. What I had said was true; she had learned everything faster and better than any of us had. Shlara had proven herself countless times in battle, as a leader and a warrior. She knew she was where she needed to be for the success of our army. She turned away and looked at her pupils.

"We don't have to tell anyone. It isn't as serious as you are making it out to be. Thayer, Gorbanni, Alexia, and even Malek fuck each other and sometimes their own troops." She knew she had lost. This was her last attempt.

"Sleep with one of them then. If it means so little to you, it should not matter whom you do it with.” I turned and walked away.

"Kaiyer," she said before I walked out of earshot. I turned back to her and almost had second thoughts. She was an amazing commander, intelligent, beautiful, and an excellent warrior. "We'll talk when the war is over. I'll wait. I don't want anyone else but you." She frowned and then turned back to her troops. That was like her, she always wanted to get the last word in when we argued.

Now I needed to go see Entas.

"This all seems reasonable, except for the last one." The duke's voice carried me back to the present. I sat up straight and tried to look like my mind hadn't been wandering. He had been looking at my list of requests. Paug had offered to write it for me, but I had spent the last few days learning enough to do it myself, with his help of course.

I did not fool Nadea; she eyed me suspiciously from the seat next to her father in his private audience chamber. She did remind me of Shlara. They had similar hair, both in color, length, and the preferred method of wearing it in a ponytail. They were both strong-willed and determined to get what they wanted. Both were beautiful. I wondered what had happened between Shlara and me. Was she the woman mentioned in Malek's message? I hoped I would remember more soon.

"Why do you want this?" Nadea asked, looking at the piece of paper. It was the three of us, plus Paug and the handsome blonde man Runir. He glared at me coldly as he leaned against the wall. At first I didn't understand why he didn't like me. Then realized that he followed Nadea around like an over protective shadow, and his looks seemed to grow colder when she was around me.

"Which one?" I tried to play dumb. Paug squinted at me from his seat. I suspected he knew I had just remembered something.

"Free rein around the castle and ten miles in either direction, access to the soldiers’ training grounds, weapon stores, horses, and no guards at your door," she explained my request to me. She frowned slightly as she looked at her father for guidance.

"I need space and equipment to train. I'm not going to spend all winter here without doing anything productive." Paug had told me that the winters in Nia were mild. The coldest it would get would still not freeze water in the lake nearby.

"You've already asked for a long sword, heavy war mace, twin bladed axe, eight-foot spear, a variety of different shields, helmets, tailors, and leather workers. We can give you all of that. Some of it we will have to custom craft for you, but we have skilled tradesmen here," the duke finished, the implication clear that they were already doing so much to meet my needs that the additional requests were pushing the boundaries of their hospitality.

"That is good. Thank you. I still need freedom to move through the castle."

"It is too dangerous. Spies will find out about you and someone will try to assassinate you. We can't risk losing you," Nadea said. While I knew I was not invincible, it frustrated me that they all still seemed to think that I needed their protection, or that they could protect me. I suspected any creature or group capable of killing me would also be able to easily overcome any of Nia’s guards.

"Am I your prisoner here, Duke?" I asked the older man.

"No Kaiyer, of course you aren't." He shook his head.

"And you want me to help you against these Ancients, correct?" I looked around for something to eat. I had eaten a few hours ago but I always felt hungry now.

"Yes, we want you to help," he said cautiously, quite aware I was leading him somewhere he did not wish to go.

"Then I need to be able to train and explore. I cannot be stuck inside this castle for four months."

"We cannot risk you being discovered," Nadea said.

"This is wasting all of our time. You don't have a guard here that could stop me, nor one who could protect me better than I’ve already proven I can protect myself. I could jump from the window of this room and you would never see me again." Nadea paled a bit. "I am staying here because it is what you desire." I met her eyes and she began to blush again. I was learning the nuances of their language well enough that the word desire was a deliberate choice. Runir shuffled his feet against the wall, uneasy.

"What do you foresee your days and nights looking like, if we give you free rein and you train?" the duke asked.

"I remember performing lifting activities, using either my own body weight or other heavy objects. Afterward, I remember running for ten or so miles. All of this before breakfast. Then I would do combat training most of the day. Repeating the same physical lifting, and adding fun elements to it like climbing trees, before dinner." I remembered most of my physical training but the combat training was still fuzzy. I knew I had learned a small amount of it when I was being trained by my Elven masters, but had refined it later in the O'Baarni's army.

"It will be too brazen," Nadea confirmed as her father looked at her. "We are trying to keep your presence here discrete for everyone's protection. We can't let you do it." Her eyes softened a bit as she looked at me. She didn't want to refuse me.

"There has to be another option! We can't expect Kaiyer to be locked in his room for the next few months. He is going stir crazy already," Paug came to my defense.

"He'll put us all in danger!" Runir said from his corner. I leaned forward to indicate that I wished to speak.

"I want to make sure that we confirm, I am not your prisoner?" The duke nodded. "I understand both of you played a large part in finding me and awakening me from my slumber. I want to thank you for that. I owed you a debt. Perhaps you believe I still do." Nadea opened her mouth to speak but I continued, "I do not owe you anything at this point. I have saved your daughter's life and the life of Jessmei. Whatever I may have owed you for waking me is repaid with these actions."

"I agree. You aren't our prisoner here, Kaiyer, we want to work together with you against our common foe." The duke smiled. His face looked years younger when he did.

"Then you must find a solution. I need to be pushing forward toward an obtainable goal. Waiting around for something to happen, like my memory coming back, isn't a strategy I am comfortable with. I have needs: food and water, and a place to train unobstructed." My eyes met Nadea's. "If you can't get me these things I do not see any reason to stay here. I will push to the North, killing and obtaining what I need when I get there."

"What you are asking is impossible!" Nadea was pleading. "The king doesn't want our enemy to know that you exist. The rumors we are spreading are helping. There are more stories about the night of the banquet than there were people there. We still need you to be discrete until you can remember and help us."

"I cannot help you if I cannot train as I wish." I got out of my chair. Her face hardened and she reminded me even more of Shlara. "Figure it out. You have a week before I go. You know where to find me." The duke and Nadea protested, but I turned and walked out of the room. I saw Paug's shocked face before I exited. There were four guards waiting in the hallway outside the door. They were always around me and now I wondered if the king thought their presence was for my protection, or so extra eyes could watch me. I nodded at them and we began to walk down the hall toward my dormitory. Within a minute Nadea's footsteps echoed off the stone hall behind us.

"Kaiyer, hold on!" she shouted. The guards and I turned to watch her approach us. Runir was a dozen or so feet behind her. I didn't see Paug.

"Can we talk?" she said when she reached us. I nodded.

"Leave us," she commanded the guards. They didn't look happy but they saluted and left, walking down the hall toward my room.

"If you want to speak privately you should also ask your puppy to leave," I said as I nodded behind her to the figure of Runir, leaning against the wall.

"I'll be okay. Thanks for walking with me," she said to the handsome blonde man. He glowered at me and then walked past us.

"I was leaving anyway," he said.

Nadea waited for him to walk away. His footsteps echoed briefly in the empty stone hallways of the massive castle. A servant ran down the hall, her head down to avoid eye contact.

"You were beautiful at the banquet last week," I said with a smile. "You are always beautiful, but that purple dress looked wonderful on you." She put her right hand up to stroke the hair in her ponytail. "I said that color, purple, correct? It was purple?" She nodded, her mouth twisted awkwardly as she attempted to stifle a smile. "I'm sad I didn't get to spend any time with you that night. You were sitting far from me."

"That's where the king preferred me." Her lips remained parted as if she wished to continue, but I interrupted.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

"No! It's just that we are trying to figure out what to do with you," she said with a sigh. We paused as another servant passed.

"The king, duke, and you? Or just you?" I said with an eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?"

"Have
you
figured out what
you
are going to do with me?" I said plainly.

"No!" she gaped at me. "I've been too busy to think about it." She paused when another servant walked past.

"Is there somewhere private we can talk?" I was becoming annoyed with all the people walking by.

"Eh . . . there will be people at your room. We can go to mine," she said as she motioned her head toward the wing of the castle we shared.

"Good. There is a bed in your room, right?"

"Yes. Wait, no. Let's go to the library instead." She turned around and smiled calmly at me, but her face was red.

"Okay. We can use the table there."

"You don't give up do you?" she said with the smile still on her face. It seems that she wasn't angry at me anymore.

"Not when there is something I want. You are the same way." She nodded but didn't meet my eyes and her heart began to beat faster. She was wearing a loose pair of gray pants that hugged her hips and flared out more as the material ran down her long legs. Her blouse was sky blue and ran high up her chest, with a lace button down opening at the front. Her feet were encased in soft black leather boots that looked like they would be destroyed if worn outside for more than five minutes.

We passed a few more servants and guards on the way there. Most of them looked at me in awe. Word had spread through the castle that I had done something during the banquet, so even people that had not been at the celebration were uneasy around me. Nadea opened the door to her library and motioned for me to enter. From what Paug had told me, it was the only one on the wing. So while it wasn't hers exactly, she used it the most.

It was an expansive room, with several thick tables laid out in the corners and the middle. Two large windows provided light from the outside courtyard. It was after breakfast time, so the light came through warm and golden, like a child had poured honey over the shelves. There were hundreds of books and scroll cases hanging on the walls and it smelled strongly of dust, paper, and candle wax.

She looked around for a second in the hall before she closed the door behind her. She was nervous. I could hear her heart thump in her chest. I hadn't moved from when I first walked into the room and she gave a startled gasp when she turned around and was face to face with me.

My left hand reached up and touched the outside of her bare arm. Her skin was soft, and cooler than I expected. I slowly ran the tips of my fingers up toward her shoulders. She didn't stop me, so I took a half-step closer to her and reached my right hand to clasp around her hip and lower back. Her body was firm beneath the smooth fabric of her pants and blouse. My mouth began to water as I thought about running my hands over the rest of her body. My fingertips brushed against the hilt of a small dagger that she had secreted flat against the gentle curve of her back.