“Get dressed.”
Sofia blinked, taken aback by the steel in his voice. “What?”
“Get dressed. I need a minute,” he said, and she realized that his control was only
marginally better than her own at this moment. Slowly, Sofia nodded, and managed to
get her feet moving without falling on her face, though it was a close call at first.
Just before she vanished into her bedroom, though, he said her name in a way that
made every hair on the back of her neck stand up.
“Sofia.”
She turned to see him watching her with raw desire, looking like some debauched god.
For an instant, all of her synapses fried, refusing to work properly. Why was she
walking away, again? And then the dark music of his voice reminded her, soft as silk,
sexy as sin.
“Next time you touch me, you’d better be sure.”
The promise in those words had heat curling through her, and she could feel her cheeks
flushing. Sofia nodded, afraid to speak in case the truth came out. She’d never known
want like this, had never been wanted like this. She just didn’t know if she could
get entangled without risking more than she was willing to lose. And until she did,
they both needed to keep their hands to themselves.
Unsteady on her feet but determined, Sofia walked into her bedroom and shut the door.
Chapter Ten
Phenex managed to make it to sunset without trying to get Sofia out of her clothes,
but it was hard to feel all that triumphant about it when the self-denial left him
nothing but pissed off. He didn’t usually wish for a horde of demons to kill, but
for once a gang of the smelly bastards would have been a welcome distraction. Cleaning
up the cold bacon grease in the kitchen sure didn’t do much for him. Not when he could
hear the shower going, and all he could think of was Sofia, naked.
Really, really naked. And wet.
That image had gotten him through several hours of skulking along behind her while
she ran some of the world’s most boring errands. Not like she was in serious danger
of a vamp attack in broad daylight at Shopmart, but Phenex couldn’t think of anything
better to do. Besides, tailing her afforded him ample opportunity to stare at her
ass, which so far had proven to be a pastime that never got old.
He needed
something
to do while she was busy being too nervous or shy or whatever her problem was to
say more than three words at a time to him.
Currently, that
something
was sitting on the roof of Sofia’s apartment building in a shabby little seating
area, playing his guitar, and trying to figure out how he was managing to screw this
up so fast and so completely. So far, he hadn’t maimed or killed anyone, and his pants
hadn’t burst into flames. How was that not a win?
Phenex lounged in an old plastic chair, strumming his guitar as the sky turned to
fire and wondering why, exactly, he’d felt that dragging along after Sofia Rivera
was a good use of his time. He’d given up toying with humans centuries ago—they were
too emotional, too needy, too breakable, too
everything
. And yet here he was.
Letting her see how hungry he was for her had been a mistake. Phenex could see that
now. He should have tried to hold back a little, at least right off the bat. The woman
had only barely accepted him being around. Showing off his claws and fangs could have
waited. The problem was, he hadn’t been able to control it. Before today, he’d thought
that all his centuries of life had dulled his capacity for experiencing true need,
intense pleasure. For fully experiencing anything, really, except the feeling his
music gave him. But with Sofia pressed against him, he’d felt a heady rush of something
new. Something real.
From a human.
He wondered whether he should be worried about it.
Without thinking, Phenex began to play, his fingers dancing along the strings. It
was a plaintive Spanish melody, the notes twisting and twining around one another
while he mulled over his preoccupation with one particular green-eyed Latina. He liked
that she could curse him out in more than one language. He could curse in every language.
Ever. Profanity was one of his favorite mediums. He especially liked her reactions
to him… Hellfire, she didn’t hold anything back.
Just a human
, he told himself. Except it felt like bullshit, and he didn’t know why. He was fine
with lying, but he didn’t make a practice of doing it to himself.
Unsettled, Phenex lifted his voice, the wordless song soothing him in ways nothing
else could. Music was the only constant in his long, long life. It was all he’d been
made for, and the only thing that saved him from being truly alone.
Getting a second chance at existence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be so far, Phenex
thought. But at least he was still breathing, even if he wasn’t making a lot of progress
otherwise. He looked at the moon. He
wanted
.
“Phenex?”
Her voice penetrated his musical cocoon. Startled and trying not to show it, he picked
his head up and looked around. When had it gotten so dark out? How long had he even
been up here? The look on Sofia’s face, wary and concerned, said it had been longer
than he’d intended. Some bodyguard he was.
Sofia stood at the top of the stairwell that led up from inside. She wore no jacket,
and her arms were wrapped around herself as a feeble defense against the early February
air. The cold didn’t bother him—he hadn’t even noticed it before now. But Sofia shivered
as he watched. Just another reminder of how very human she was. How very deliciously,
desirably human.
Sofia hesitated for the briefest instant, then started toward him. He had to give
her credit. Most people wouldn’t have come looking for him. They would instead have
wished him gone and probably locked the door for good measure. But then, Sofia was
no coward.
“Aren’t you cold up here?”
Phenex shook his head. “Barely feel it. I needed some air.”
“Ah.” She nodded as she slowly approached him, finally coming to a stop only a couple
feet away from where he sat in the beat-up chair. She looked skyward, where the lights
of the city made it difficult to see any but the brightest stars, and then out across
the rooftops of the buildings that surrounded them. Finally, she sighed heavily, and
the steam curled upward into the night air.
“We need to talk,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows and said nothing. He hadn’t expected her to be so direct. Probably
he should have.
“About this morning,” she added.
“What part?”
Sofia’s mouth tightened ever so slightly. “You know what part.”
“Maybe.” He plucked out a melody absently, watching Sofia try to figure out how to
deal with him. “There were a number of parts to this morning.”
“Only one part involved you almost biting me.” She paused, and then her voice dropped.
“Among other things.”
Phenex stopped and tilted his head at her.
“Almost doesn’t count, last I checked.”
“I’m not used to guys with fangs. ‘Almost’ was too close for me.” Sofia took a deep
breath and seemed to be gathering herself.
Phenex waited, curious, and after a minute, she got around to saying what she’d come
up here for.
“Look, I’m not sure what you’re…I mean…” She raised her eyes to the sky and gave her
foot a frustrated little stomp before pulling it together, a steely glint in her eye
when she met his gaze again. “It’s not a good idea.”
Phenex pretended to consider that. “You’re right,” he said, then smirked at her. “It’s
an excellent idea.”
She didn’t crack even a hint of a smile in return. “Okay, let me put it another way.
It’s not a good idea
for me
. I’ve had two vampires try to kill me in the last week. I don’t think that hooking
up with a fallen angel is going to do a lot for either my sanity or my health. We
need to keep this platonic.”
Phenex watched her, noting the stubborn little tilt of her chin as his fingers skipped
quickly over the strings. The emotions that surfaced puzzled him for a moment until
he could sort them through, considering how unfamiliar they were. Finally, he understood—he
was actually offended. That was a switch. Then again, being turned down was a new
one, too.
“You think I’ll hurt you.” A statement, not a question. And she had a point. He hurt
a lot of people. But he thought he’d made it pretty clear that he was making an exception
for her.
Sofia frowned and held herself more tightly as a cold breeze ruffled her hair. “Not
exactly. The fangs and the growling just sort of drove home that we’re not coming
from the same place. I’m not looking for a fling.”
It was some small comfort, Phenex guessed, that she was just as confused about what
to do with him as he was about her. What was he supposed to say? He hadn’t been looking
for a damned thing when he’d run into her, either. So what? He’d adapted. So should
she. The scent of Sofia, warm and inviting, with a faint hint of arousal, wound around
him and banished the chill.
Her common sense might be telling her one thing, but her body wasn’t going along with
it. That was a relief.
“I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want you, Sofia,” Phenex finally said. “Since
you want me, too, you might want to think about enjoying it instead of fighting it.”
“I— Damn it, I knew you were going to argue with me.” Sofia shoved her long dark hair
away from her face when the wind blew it again, leaving her other arm wrapped around
her waist.
Phenex leaned forward over the body of his guitar, the music momentarily forgotten.
He loved watching her, the way her eyes went catlike in the dim light afforded by
the city around them. Here in the cold night, she seemed to carry all the warmth of
the sun. But the heat in her was nothing like the indifferent, brutal fire of the
underworld. He would have pulled her into his arms and basked in her warmth if he
didn’t think she’d punch him for his trouble. And he wanted her willing. He would
have her willing.
“I’m not arguing,” he said evenly. “I’m being realistic. I see the way you look at
me. It’s the same way I’m looking at you.”
The truth seemed to fluster her. “Phenex, my being attracted to you doesn’t mean I’m
going to jump in bed with you, no matter what you think. It’s a bad idea.”
“Why? I’m easy.”
She laughed then, and he thought the sound was some of the sweetest music he’d heard
in ages. He felt his answering grin before he could stop it.
Knock it off, asshole. Keep it casual. You’ll blink, and she’ll be dust, like all
of them eventually are.
It was hard to concentrate on holding back, though, when he was so focused on the
smile that warmed just for him, even as she shook her head to disagree with him.
“Great, Phenex. Good to know. But nothing else about this is easy. Not for me.”
“You humans overthink everything,” he replied, exasperated. He had forgotten just
how nonsensical her kind could be. “You need protection right now. I’m offering you
pleasure on top of that. No strings. No commitments. Hellfire, Sofia, it doesn’t have
to be complicated.”
She arched one dark brow, and he could hear the sudden displeasure in her voice. “Just
like that. It’s so easy for you.”
“Sure,” Phenex replied, uncertain where her issue was. He cast around a little to
try to find it before she could argue with him. “If you’re worried about the fangs,
don’t be. They don’t work like a vamp’s fangs—no venom. But I won’t use them on you
anyway.”
Sofia looked skeptical, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d been close earlier—too close—to
just sinking in, tasting her. What he wouldn’t tell her was that it would have been
a first. He’d never used his teeth on a woman during sex. He’d heard—at length, and
usually from Gadreel—about how it could heighten the sensation. But Phenex had never
wanted that kind of intimacy with anyone he’d taken to his bed.
Avoiding it had never been a problem before. He’d manage.
“My word was good enough for you before. You’ve got it on this, too,” Phenex said.
“I told you before, Sofia. I’m no bloodsucker.”
“No,” she replied quietly. “I guess you’re not. But that’s not so much the problem,
Phenex. You make sleeping together sound like no big deal. Just a fun perk, or whatever,
to this whole mess. But I don’t know if I can be comfortable with a setup like that.
Not to mention, we don’t even know each other.”
Phenex bristled. Of all the humans he could have gotten fixated on, it had to be one
who liked sex to have some deeper meaning.
“You know me well enough. I’ve been here since last night,” he pointed out.
Sofia rolled her eyes. “Yes, and you’ve been hiding up here for hours. Wow, quality
time.”
“I’m not
hiding
.” Phenex shifted in the uncomfortable little chair. This was the problem, he thought.
Humans and their sentiment and their need to make connections even when it would do
more harm than good. And still, he couldn’t make himself get up and leave her here,
even if it would have made his life easier.
“You know everything about me that matters,” he added, hating how defensive he sounded.
Sofia gave him a look that could only be described as withering. “I know that you’re
an amazing musician, that you’re some kind of winged fallen angel, ex-demon something-or-other,
and that you kill things with a sword for a living.”
“Exactly,” he said. “That’s all you need to know.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Uh-huh. And what do you know about me?”
His smile faded as he tried to come up with things. “You’re a nurse.”
“Very perceptive, since you’ve been spying on me at work. What else?”
“You speak Spanish. You can swear in Spanish, anyway.” She looked at him expectantly
while he tried to think of other things, but none of what he came up with was all
that relevant. He knew she wasn’t afraid to tell him what she thought, though the
jury was out on whether that was a good trait or not. But as far as her life went,
she was right, he guessed…he hadn’t paid much attention to humans, any human, in so
long that he couldn’t even remember the last time. With a rush of frustration, Phenex
wished he’d taken a closer look at all the pictures in Sofia’s bedroom. She probably
had a family. Or something.
“And?” she prodded again.
“And nothing,” Phenex grumbled. “Why does it matter? It’s attraction, not rocket science.
I want you in bed. On the floor. Against the wall. You pick, I’m game.”
He couldn’t miss the flash of desire in her eyes before she looked away, visibly flustered.
Good. He liked her flustered. And hot.
“It’s not that simple,” she insisted again.
“It can be.”
She blew out a breath. “No, it can’t. I can’t just say screw it and start messing
around with a demon! I know you’re not technically working for Hell anymore, Phenex,
but that doesn’t mean you’re not still some kind of evil. I don’t want to sleep with
evil. That’s entering B-movie territory.”
Phenex tried to keep his frustration from his voice. He’d never had to defend his
nature before. Nor had he had to define it in the time since he’d left Hell. What
was he, exactly? It wasn’t a comfortable question, and it certainly wasn’t one he
was going to spend a lot of time on when his ass was parked in a plastic chair on
Sofia’s roof.