Authors: M. F. Bvlgari
Her sons, as young adults liked to spend lots of time with their friends more than with her, she understands them and doesn’t complaint. She feels alone and she wants to be.
One day when Carolina was walking down the street as she went shopping for some things she needed, she finds Daniel in front of her, they great each other, talked over a coffee and he invites her to go dinner with other friends who also knew Carolina, she accepts not because she wants to, but she needs to be with other people other than the people she works with. When Carolina arrives at Novikov, the Asian restaurant in Mayfair for dinner, there are all those smiling friends having fun all together, Carolina enjoyed their company, they were fun, and their conversations were always pleasant and relaxed without ever entering to the private life of each one, which pleased Carolina, because she didn’t like to talk about her personal life. So she was always grateful when they never touched that subject with her. When dinner was almost over and right before dessert and coffee everybody started taking pictures, one of her friends asked the waiter to take a group photo and Daniel puts his arm around Carolina's shoulders, she feels so uncomfortable and intimidated as she felt like asking him to take his hand off her and moved away, she couldn’t bare his touch. But she didn’t, she closed her eyes and open it putting herself together, she wasn’t a woman to make scenes, so she kept her composure and didn’t say anything, after all he hasn’t done anything wrong, but she felt so terrible uncomfortable. They ended up taking the picture with everyone very happy only Carolina struggled to appear happy and with a double effort she could send a smile back to the camera.
After dinner Daniel offers to take Carolina home, she said at first it was not necessary that she was going home in a taxi, he insists and saying that is in his way home, Carolina didn’t want to be ungrateful so she accept the ride home. Until the car park they needed to walk a few minutes to the parking lot, the traffic was still chaotic at 10 pm and crossing the street as she was wearing killer heels, was a small adventure and Daniel grabbed her hand to help her cross the street a little bit faster. The discomfort Carolina felt when he touched her and hold her hand was so unbearable that she just wanted to scream at him to leave her alone, she wanted to start running away from him and disappear into space. She couldn’t understand why, Daniel was a friend who had always been respectable, she had nothing against him, there was never any indication that he'd want something more than a friendship with her, he was just being kind, as was his way to be, always a gentleman. But when Daniel touched her, she couldn’t help it, it was as if he had thorns that stick on her skin, her breath changed with the discomfort of his touch, she felt the need to quickly shake his hand from her, she needed to increase distance between them, she couldn’t bare being touched, even been outside on the street she needed fresh air, she wanted to leave, she realize tonight that she couldn’t barely to be touched by any man. Allowing any man to touch her more than a handshake was crossing the line already, it made no sense.
Was I starting to feel sick or mental ill?
She had never felt like this before.
As usual Daniel left her at home and drove his way, behaving always as a true gentleman and friend to Carolina.
Days later, one of the events she goes almost weekly, she finds one of her social friends she’d met previously, they were not intimate and they only talked in the events they meet. Tess is the professional in matchmaking, bringing together couples who otherwise wouldn’t get to know in any other form. Tess says, she understands what people need even before they understand what they are searching for themselves, she can read between the lines what people truly seek and what they need in a relationship, combining them so perfectly, that they stick years and years together - That’s why she is so highly successful in her area. She gained prestige and respect from her clients and colleagues because of her unique skills.
In one of the previous events, Tess learned that Carolina had no boyfriend, and she had never seen Carolina with a man, never excited about any man, so she offered to draw her profile and do a match with the ideal man for her. At first Carolina didn’t give great importance, but now when she sees Tess again, Carolina gain courage to ask whether her proposal is still valid, if it is, she is interested and try to find her man with Tess help. As soon Tess hears Carolina’s words, she was so thrilled about it, she replied immediately yes. Tess knew that Carolina was a great challenge for her, and Tess knew she could do the impossible with Carolina and said:
“I agree to help you, but I will only introduce you to one man, that’s all what it takes.”
Carolina smiled, thinking that it was highly unlikely that Tess could introduce her to the right man and spot on with just one date, introducing her only to one man. But she didn’t say anything to Tess, making her believe that she believed it too.
“I know you don’t believe in me, but I will proof it to you, you will see.”
Tess said almost as reading Carolina’s thoughts. Carolina agreed to take time to make her profile and to submit a man’s profile she was looking for, and hopefully find the man who is compatible with her. The two women start a cordial friendship and booked a lunch to start the questioners. Tess needed to ask questions and takes notes for later study of Carolina’s profile and once she had news, she would contact Carolina. They agreed to meet next day to have lunch.
During lunch Carolina explained what she liked and sought her perfect man would need to be, she talked about her life, goals and priorities. Tess was asking questions that sometimes didn’t seem to make any sense to Carolina, but she answers them anyway. Lunch lasted almost two hours of conversation and Carolina felt exhausted from all the talking, in the end her friend promised to contact with news. It took a few weeks and Carolina had already forgotten the request she had made to Tess, when Tess called her to say she had news for her.
Tess had found the man of Carolina’s life, a charming, gentle, with the same goals in life as Carolina and he wanted to get married, raise a family and he was very successful professionally as well. Tess added that he was the complete package for Carolina as he corresponded exactly to the kind of man Carolina wants and needs until the end of her days. Tess sends to Carolina the complete profile of the man in question by a long and extended e-mail.
Carolina opens the email, read and read again his profile. After she has finished reading his profile for the second time, she had no doubt, if he was everything that was in his profile, he could be definitely the man of her life. He was exactly the kind of man that she loved, wanted and needed.
But was it really?
Or will he be just another guy saying everything what you want to hear, and in the end nothing will be what it looks or worse there is no spark between them. Carolina was apprehensive, would he be like all others, after the first date he gives up, or given excuse having no time to get to know each other and starts asking to get intimate? She didn’t want to make the same mistake she made with JP and she didn’t want to go that road ever again. She learned her lesson in the hardest way.
Nowadays men find women so easy they think that sex always comes first than anything else, that's why relationships don’t work today or have such limited time
- She thought, remembering what happened with JP.
She had lived that experience, and didn’t intend to repeat it. Not that it had been bad because sex itself was fantastic with JP, but there was no room for anything else after they had sex. What had happened to her in sexual terms and JP had been the best experience of her life, but they never shared a meal together, never walked side by side in the street, never shared an ice cream or even drank coffee together, never had seen a movie for two, or had a face to face conversation. The only serious conversations they had, had been over text message. After everything Carolina been trough with JP, she knew it was impossible to connect with a man over text messages.
Texts were great for people who liked to hide and protect who knows from what. Maybe they hid and protect themselves from having feelings.
- She sighs in her working desk remembering JP.
She tried constantly to convince herself that they will never have some kind of opportunity together, she needed to forget him once and for all, she was now determined to forget him and move on. She just needed to let time pass and baring her memories in a deep hole buried somewhere in her mind.
Time heals everything, even broken hearts.
That was it, time heals everything, over time the memories that were once alive with vivid colours, will inevitably make them in blurred images with time, turn them dull black and white, until they lose the meaning they once had. She didn’t want nor could continue to live in the past. Carolina wanted to concentrate on the present and future, that's why she asked Tess for help, she was determined to go in a proper date and she will do everything to go well. She didn’t want to think too much on the date which Tess was organizing for her, she didn’t want to have too many expectations.
Carolina knew she needed someone special in her life, someone who deserves her, someone who could make her feel alive as a new woman. She needed a man who valued her as a woman and human being. Stopping Carolina’s thoughts and bringing her to reality, Tess was again on the other line, all excited starting with the dating arrangements. Even wanting so much to know that man, Carolina couldn’t help but show some worry, Tess noticed this and after some insistence from Tess, Carolina finally agrees to meet the man who promises to be the man to the end of her days. Carolina tries to convince himself that she has nothing to lose and it seems someone worth knowing. Her thoughts fled to JP, was more than proved with his actions that he was not at all interested in her, it was time to move on, and she needed to set herself free from the past. It was painful for Carolina to admit to herself she needed to move on, that her experience with JP was a failure which was the hardest and sad reality of their carnal encounter as it will be an experience that she will never forget. She can’t help it by the consequences that she carries to this day in her heart, inevitable destroying her soul day after day.
Now it was time to think about her first, to appreciate and to be determined, it’s time to move on. She wanted and needed to know a man who made her a happier woman and a better human being. Carolina was still processing having just agreed to the meeting with this new guy, since Tess was all excited planning a romantic dinner for Carolina to go on a date with Mr. Marvellous as soon as possible. Once Carolina realized what Tess was doing, she felt that she had precipitated herself. She called Tess saying she wanted to see a picture of Mr Marvellous before the date.
She wanted to know if in the photo he looked interesting or not, since she was going to a romantic date she wanted to see if his look meets her expectations. Tess explained that couples usually only saw each other at the meeting itself. It was not the habit to exchange pictures, because most of the time photos could be misinterpreted, and it would take much more time to realize that they had been made for each other.
But Carolina wanted to see a picture of him, was at least a photo or there was no date at all. For Carolina’s surprise, her date made the same request, he wanted to see a photo of Carolina or there was no meeting at all. When Tess was realizing that she was losing a couple who she was sure that they were made for each other, she opened an exception sending a picture of Mr Marvellous to Carolina and a photo of Carolina to him, hoping they would like each other and still wanting to go to a romantic dinner. Carolina finally receives Tess e-mail as she had promised, sending a single photo of the supposed Mr. Marvellous.
Carolina opens her e-mail, takes a look at the picture and immediately recognizes who Mr Marvellous was, it is JP!
She was about having a cardiac arrest right there felling her heart wanted suddenly to stop and then accelerate bewildered. Shacking she couldn’t believe what she just saw. She needed a few moments to take control again, she was not feeling any better, she had uncontrolled heartbeat, she tried to reach a bottle of water that was on the table, achieving it with huge effort, getting finally to hold the bottle and taking her shaking hands with the water to her lips, drinking two sips of water. Not knowing what to do for her heartbeat to return to a normal state, she continued with an uncontrolled rhythmic for about a minute which looked an eternity. She got really scared when she felt her heart bumping against her rips, it was almost like she was about having a heart attack, and she remembered that she had heard somewhere that in case of heart attack she needed to force cough. Carolina knew she was having an anxiety attack, but just maybe if she coughs she could get to her normal state as well.
Starting coughing and the heartbeat gradually returned to normal. If she weren’t sitting in her workplace right now and would be elsewhere, she could surely fallen in the middle of the floor, if she had opened the email on her phone and saw the picture of Mr Marvellous elsewhere, who turns out it was JP!
How could it be?! How could it be JP?!
After she calms down slowly regaining her ability to start thinking again, she thought at first if that was some kind of a prick, but Tess didn’t know anything about JP history, Carolina hadn’t told anyone because she was afraid to be criticized instead of being understood. So that couldn’t be possible.
There are about 7 billion people worldwide, about half are men. With so many men in the world, JP was the only man that Tess had found for me?!