The Cyber Chronicles V - Overlord (17 page)

Sabre frowned
at him. "Stop second guessing me. That's exactly what they'll
expect."

"Right. Look,
I'm not trying to second guess you or anything. It was just a
question. I don't want us to fight."

"Yeah I'll bet
you don't."

Tassin shivered
at the anger in Sabre’s eyes, glad she was not the object of his
ire.

Tarl sat down
with his back against the wall and bowed his head. Tassin took
Sabre's hand, tugged him into the far corner and turned him to face
her. He avoided her eyes, gazing over her head with a mutinous
expression.

"What's got
into you?" she asked. "It's not like you to threaten people."

"This is a
dangerous situation, and he's made it worse."

"He's our
friend." She studied him. "But it's more than that, isn't it?"

"I don't like
him."

"Because he's a
cyber technician?"

He met her
eyes. "He treats me like one. Haven't you noticed?"

"Yes, I had.
I'm sure he can't help it. I think... he's proud of you, in a
strange way. Like he feels he had a hand in your creation, somehow.
I think he almost wants to see you beat these monsters. Maybe to
prove you're even better now that you're free; maybe even to make
you feel better about yourself."

Sabre tilted
his head, smiling. "You think so? Because if he thinks that he's a
moron; killing doesn't make me feel good."

"But the
Corsairs are monsters, murderers."

"We invaded
their territory. They have every right to hate us."

She frowned.
"Yes, I suppose so. But we also have every right to defend
ourselves. I don't want to die, and neither does Tarl. He's afraid,
too. Don't hate him."

"Hate?" He
turned and sank down beside the wall, leaning against it. "I'm not
capable of such a strong emotion, and perhaps it's just as
well."

"You are
capable of it; you just won't let yourself feel it." She sat beside
to him.

Sabre tugged
off the steel mesh gloves and spread his hands to study the faint
scars on the backs of them. "You're right. I'm afraid of it. What
happens if I get really angry, and lash out?"

"You won't. You
got angry with me on Omega, remember? When I started that knife
fight between you and the Prince?"

"Yeah. But this
situation is a hell of a lot worse. The stress is greater, the
tension and the stakes are higher. Besides, that was you." He shook
his head. "I'm not used to being in charge. I've always just been
an onlooker. Now the responsibility is mine alone, and it's
hard."

"Did you want
to hurt Tarl?"

"No. I'm
angrier with myself. What happened was my fault. I should have
stopped him. I could have, but I didn't." Sabre clenched his hands,
watching the skin on his knuckles whiten. "A part of me didn't want
to. I wanted to save that girl, and I could have, but I didn't want
to risk putting you in danger to do it, so I let him make the
decision for me. I'm supposed to be in charge; I'm the one with the
training, but..."

"What?"

"I guess I
don't have the confidence to make life and death decisions. I'd
rather someone else did it for me." He rubbed his face. "I don't
want the responsibility. I can't handle it. I'm not used to
it."

"It's all
right." She placed a hand on his forearm. "You're doing fine, and
I'll help you."

"If my life, or
yours, or even Tarl's is threatened, the decision's easy, but she
was a stranger," he went on as if she had not spoken. "Killing is
easy, but to stand by and watch someone die when you know you can
help them... Even the cyber didn't make its own decisions; the
orders came from the owner. I -"

"Hey, look at
me." She gripped his chin, turning his face towards her. "It's all
right, I understand. When it comes to tactical decisions, you're in
charge, but if there's a situation that involves the possible death
of another person, I'll decide."

He took her
hand and gazed at it, his fingers caressing it. "You shouldn't have
to do that. It's not right. Hell, there's so much about this that's
not right. I'm failing." His face twisted. "They were right to put
the cyber in charge."

Tassin moved
around in front of him to try to see his face, but he bowed his
head. "No, they weren't. It's not your fault. You're a gentle man,
and that's a good thing."

"It isn't when
I put you in danger because I can't do the right thing."

"Who's to say
what the right thing is? It's not..." She shook her head, searching
for the right words. "It's not a decision that anyone should have
to make, to choose who lives and who dies."

"I want to save
everyone."

"I know. And
you're right to want that. So do I. But sometimes it's just not
possible." Tassin looked up as a shadow fell on them.

Tarl stood over
them, frowning. "What the hell are you two arguing about?"

Tassin glanced
at Sabre, afraid that Tarl's intrusion would anger him, but he
merely turned his head away. She grabbed at the straw of moral
support Tarl offered.

"Maybe you can
help."

He squatted.
"Glad to. What's the problem?"

She explained
it, and he looked thoughtful.

"This after he
wanted to rip my head off for shooting those buggers?"

"That's not
helping," she said.

"Yeah, okay.
Hey bud." He patted Sabre's shoulder. "Don't get mad, okay? You
were right. But that's not the problem, I know. That was a shitty
situation, and saving that poor girl was morally right but
strategically wrong. I acted on impulse. Take some pressure off
yourself before you crack. We need you. I know you're not going to
want to hear this, but you've got to try to think like the cyber
did."

"Tarl!" Tassin
glared at him. "He's trying to learn to be human."

"I know. Sorry,
but it's what he knows best, and it'll get him through this. Sabre,
what would the cyber have done in that situation?"

"Obeyed its
owner."

"Did Tassin
give you an order?"

"Yes. When I
looked at her, she shook her head. I knew what she meant. The cyber
would have stopped you from shooting the Corsairs, but I
didn't."

"Because you
wanted to save the girl."

Sabre nodded.
"A weak emotion. Pity."

"Because you're
human."

"And Tassin
isn't?"

"I pitied her
too," Tassin said. "It was horrible. I wanted to save her, but I
didn't want to risk getting the rest of us killed."

"A sensible
tactical decision, even if based on a misconception," Tarl
commented.

"What
misconception?" She frowned at him.

"You weren't
sure Sabre could kill all of them. I knew he could, but I didn’t
think further than that." Tarl clasped Sabre's shoulder again.
"There's nothing wrong with you; except, of course, you're human.
This is a very bad situation for you to be in at this stage. It's
tough for all of us, but it must be hell for you, when you’re still
trying to figure yourself out. Take it a step at a time, and don't
blame yourself for shit that goes wrong. It's not your fault, okay?
I messed up, and now those women who died in the gas are on my
conscience. That was what you were trying to avoid, wasn't it, bud?
If the decision had been yours, that girl's death would have been
on your conscience, and you're not ready for shit like that. Hell,
that's a lot to handle for someone who's only been out in the real
world for, what, less than eighteen months?"

"Thirteen
months, three days and four hours," Sabre supplied.

"Right. So when
it comes to dealing with shit like that, you’re just not
ready."

"When you drew
your laser, I hesitated. I just... I'm trained to deal with combat
situations, but deciding to let them kill the girl was hard. I
couldn't prevent you from trying to save her, even though I knew
you were wrong. Somehow, that was worse than doing nothing.”

“
That's a tough one for anyone, bud. I couldn't do it," Tarl
said.

"You're not a
soldier."

Tarl smiled.
"You may know a hundred ways to kill a man with one hand, and you
have the courage to put yourself in danger, but you're not
heartless. This is." He tapped the control unit. "This little
monster has no conscience whatsoever. But you're not it, and it's
not you. They didn't train you to have no pity. They didn't care
what you thought; a computer controlled you. You think you've
inherited some of the cyber's dispassion, but what you've got is
cyber programming. You’ve got reams and reams of situational
mandates, trained responses and operational strategies, all utterly
logical, and some of them go against your feelings, right?"

Sabre inclined
his head. "Yeah. It's confusing."

"Of course it
is. You’re still automatically referring to the cyber’s
programming, but your heart tells you something completely
different. I pretty much let my heart rule me, which leads to mess
ups. Tassin's the only one qualified to make those kinds of
decisions. She's been trained since childhood to disregard her
feelings. Or at least manage them."

"A warrior
queen." Sabre smiled.

Tarl rose to
his feet. "I do have a complaint about your choice of hiding
places, though. There are no facilities, and we could be stuck here
for a while."

Sabre glanced
at the huddle of women. "I didn't think of that."

"No, a cyber
wouldn't."

Tassin frowned.
"Cybers need to use the facilities as much as we do."

"Actually they
don't. They generally keep liquid intake to a minimum, and most of
that is excreted as perspiration."

"Sabre doesn't
sweat any more than me."

"Not until he
has to fight someone."

"Oh. I
see."

Sabre stood up.
"We can move to a cabin, there's one next door. I chose this room
because it's bigger." He looked vague for a moment. "The Corsairs
aren't coming this way yet."

"Good." Tarl
turned to the women and announced, "We're going next door, where
there's a bathroom."

Smiles and nods
greeted his proclamation, and he led them to the door. Sabre would
have followed, but Tassin caught his sleeve. “Stay here a while and
talk to me.”

As Tarl closed
the door, she sat down again, patting the floor beside her. "Come
here."

He obeyed,
looking confused. "So, what's the problem?"

"There's no
problem. I just..." She turned to him and slipped her arms around
his chest, his armour digging into her. "There's a possibility we
might not get out of this alive. This may be all the time we have
together."

"We'll get out
of it."

"I hope so."
She sighed, some of the tension leaving her.

Sabre stroked
her hair. "I could get used to this."

"I'm glad.
Let's hope we get the chance."

For a while
silence reigned, then Tassin raised her head and he averted his
eyes. She smiled. "You're so shy, it's cute."

He snorted and
smiled. "This is hardly the time or place for a cuddle."

"We may never
get another chance. What are the odds?"

"Slim."

"I can't think
of anything I'd rather do with my last few minutes of life than to
hold you."

"I'm going to
get us out of this," he said.

"Or die trying.
Promise me you won't leave me behind for them to torture?"

He closed his
eyes, and she knew he hated the idea of being her executioner. "I
won't let them hurt you."

"Good. At least
it'll be quick and painless."

"Don't talk
about that. I don't want to think about it. We're going to get
through this."

Tassin
transferred her hold to his neck and pressed her cheek to his, her
eyes stinging with unshed tears. The poignancy of the moment filled
her heart with sorrow. He held her gently, and she pressed close to
him, her arms tightening.

When she drew
back, he lay down with a sigh, staring at the roof. His action was
a deliberate attempt to put distance between them again, she
sensed, and it hurt her even though she knew the reason for it. He
met her gaze with eyes like chips of silver, a slight smile curling
his lips. Unable to resist, she leant on his chest and stroked his
cheek. She noticed a new light flashing on the control unit, and
wondered what it meant. It probably had a lot to do with his
tension, she surmised.

"What does that
flashing amber light mean?"

He looked
puzzled. "It's a new one?"

"I think so. It
just started flashing now."

"Ah. It's the
proximity alert I told you about. You're too close for the cyber's
comfort."

"You're not
thinking of how to snap my neck are you?" she teased.

"No. Nothing
could be further from my mind."

"Good." She
propped her chin on her hands. "So how do you feel?"

"Embarrassed, I
think."

“
Why?”

“
Well, you’re very… very close, and… uh… it’s…
weird?”

“
Just how many amber lights are flashing in your mind right
now?” she asked.

“
Uh… only one.”

“
And if I was a stranger?”

“
None, because you wouldn’t be lying on my chest.” He paused,
then asked, “Don’t you find it weird, me having things like
proximity alerts?”

“
A little, but I’m getting used to it. Just like you’re getting
used to affection, right?”

“
Trying to. You don’t have to deal with the flashing lights.”
He pushed her away and sat up in a swift motion. "Shit! They're
coming fast!"

Cold dread
washed away her happiness. "Oh, god."

"Get up!" Sabre
hauled her to her feet, pulling on his gloves as he strode to the
door. He took her hand to tow her into the corridor, bursting
through the next door into a cramped cabin full of women.