The Confession (21 page)

“I’ve spent the past few days talking
about the past and the mess I’ve made of my life. I want to know
why you never told me about the adoption. I want to know why I
never felt a connection with the two of you. I am not here to make
you uncomfortable. I only want answers, and honestly, I deserve the
truth.”

Colin rose and walked into the house.
John and Margaret followed him. Sitting on the dining room floor
was a steamer trunk. Colin opened the lid and retrieved one of the
many photo albums. This one had John’s name written on
it.

“Maggie and I tried for
several years to have a baby. After many tests, and a few
miscarriages, we decided to adopt. The adoption agency found a baby
for us within a few months. The mother was five months
pregnant
and had agreed to the adoption. We paid all of her medical
bills, and we were so happy to be parents. When you were born, you
were very sick. The doctors told us you had cocaine in your system.
The mother overdosed a few months after your birth.”

“You were sick for several
months. It was awful watching your child withdraw from an
addiction. It affected you more than we realized. You were quiet
and withdrawn as a child. You would not play with the other
kids
.
You would not interact with us. We were at a loss as to how we
could help you.”

“When Maggie found out she was
pregnant, you had a temper tantrum. Our doctor prescribed
medication, which helped tremendously, however; it never bridged
the gap between us. You resented Mary and Adam, and we didn’t know
what to do, so we left you alone. As you grew older, your behavior
changed. You became belligerent and argumentative. It became too
difficult dealing with your constant mood swings. I’m sorry to say
I was happy when you left home.”

It all made sense now, the feeling of
disassociation, the hatred for his siblings, and the isolation.
“Why did you keep me if I was so much trouble?”

“You were still our son. How could we
abandon you?”

“The fact is; you did abandon me by
ignoring me. I want this turmoil to end. We cannot change the past.
It obvious I am no longer that person.”

John reached out and held
Colin and Margaret’s hands.
“G
od, give us the
grace
to accept with serenity the things that cannot
be changed
, the
courage
to change the things which
should be
changed
, and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other. Live one day at a time, enjoy one moment at
a time, and accept hardship as a pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus
did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting
that You will make all things right if we surrender to Your
will
so that we may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely
happy with You forever in the next. Amen.”

Colin felt hot tears sting
his eyes. His voice shook as he said, “I am so proud of you John. I
am ashamed of my behavior. I regret many things in my life, and how
I treated you is one of them. Please forgive
me,
Father, for I
have sinned.”

“I am no longer a priest.
Father Mallard placed an ultimatum on my request for a
sabbatical.
He
wanted me to disavow Gail as a
sin
and bury the
truth. I refused to categorize my daughter as a
sin
because she is
a gift from God. As I told Lydia a few days ago, what I did to her
is a sin, Gail is not. By my refusing to sign, I was relieved of my
priestly duties. My life as a priest is over, and surprisingly, I
am not as upset as I thought I would be. You were right when you
said I was hiding behind the church.”

“It made me angry that
Father Mallard would request this of me. I can no longer live a
lie. I refuse to bury the past. Surprisingly, my heart feels
lighter. Until I have been officially relieved of my priestly
duties, I can still pray
for
you.” John made the sign of
the
cross
and placed his hands on Colin and Margaret’s
faces. “I forgive you, in the name of The Father, and of The Son,
and of The Holy Spirit. Our Lord is all seeing, all forgiving. Be
at peace and know that I will always love you.”

There were no words to
express the emotions swirling around them. Margaret leaned into
John and cried. John wrapped his arms around her and ran a soothing
hand up and down her back. “Please Mother, no more tears. Today is
a day for forgiveness, for the healing of old wounds. Our Lord has
given us this opportunity to see past the pain, to reach out to one
another with love and forgiveness. Take the
time
today to reflect
and calm your soul. Adam and Mary will forgive you because they
love you. I will be by your side when you speak to
them.”

She looked up at him with tear-stained
eyes and said, “Why are you helping us?”

John smiled, “Let he who is
without sin cast the first stone. We are all sinners Mother. Please
pray
with
me.
“Oh My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I
detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pain
of Hell; but most of all because I have offended Thee, my God, who
art all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of
Thy
grace, to confess
my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.” No other
words
were
spoken
as John quietly left the
house.

At the end of a long day of
prayer, reflection, and crying, Colin placed a conference call to
his children and John. Mary cried when she heard her father’s plea
for forgiveness.
For
the first time in his life, Adam heard
his
father cry, and it affected him deeply.

“I know the two of you
are
furious
with me, and I want you to understand why. John
has helped me to understand how keeping secrets hurts the people
you love most in life. I love all of you very much, and the thought
of losing your love kills me. I would rather die than have all of
you hate me. Please, your mother and I need to speak to all of you,
and that includes Gail and Bobby. We have much to
discuss.”

Adam felt the ice melt. “Is everyone
available tomorrow afternoon?” All agreed to meet at one
o’clock.

Adam and Mary stayed on the
line after
everyone
disconnected the call. “I’m
scared Adam.
I’ve never
heard Dad so upset that he would cry.
Whatever he has to tell us, it must be bad. Why was he talking
to John?”

“I don’t
know,
but it surprises me.
Apparently
, something happened between
the two of them. I guess we’ll find out what it is tomorrow. I
love
you,
Mary.”

“I love you too, Adam. Get
some
rest,
and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lydia was still in the room when Adam
ended the call. “What’s going through your mind?”

“I don’t even know where to start. I’m
almost afraid to hear what he has to say.”

“Let’s go to bed Adam. I need to feel
your body against mine.”

Adam smiled. “I love
hearing you say that.” Hours later, Adam awoke to find the bed
empty. The bathroom light was
on
and he heard Lydia humming
to herself.
She
’s in the tub
, Adam thought
with a smile. He
followed the sound and found Lydia up to her neck in bubbles, eyes
closed, and complexly relaxed.

He walked over to the tub, scooped a
few bubbles with his finger, and dabbed them on her nose. Lydia
looked up at him with such love in her eyes; he had to choke back
the tears.

“Want to join me?” Lydia
asked as she opened her arms to him. She scooted forward, and Adam
climbed in behind her. Strong thighs held her
tight
while soft
hands moved down her body.

“You really know how to get
a
girl
worked up, don’t you?”

Smiling, Adam kissed her
neck and said, “I only know how to get one girl worked up, and she
is always so receptive. It amazes
me
that after being married for
so
long
we still make each other crazy. I love touching
you. I love the soft sounds you make when I am in you. I
like
the firm grip you have on my cock when I make love to you. I
love everything about
you,
Lydia. I even
like
squeezing my
body into this frigging small tub to feel your wet body against
mine. And I especially
like
this.”

Turning her to face him,
Adams sank two fingers deep into her core, which promptly drew a
satisfied moan from her lips. Lydia’s hips rose to meet his thrust.
Her hand covered
his
and pushed his fingers deeper into
her. Adam added a third finger, and the feeling of fullness felt
wonderful.

“Can you feel my throbbing
cock against you, my beauty? Open yourself to me sweetheart. Let me
love you.” Adam continued the
slow,
steady pace of his
fingers. Lydia held onto the side of the tub in an attempt to
steady herself. With eyes closed, she did not see Adams cock push
into her. His finger remained where it was, and the two very
distinct sensations had her gasping.

Adam lowered his head and
took one of her nipples into his mouth. His finger curled slightly,
hitting her
G-spot
while his cock continued pumping
into her. “Take all of me Lydia.”

Her mind in a haze, Lydia’s
movements increased in intensity. Water splashed all around them,
but neither one noticed. Adam’s finger curled once again and thrust
upward, hard and fast. His cock swelled to unbelievable hardness.
He was close and wanted to take her with him. He bit down hard on
one of her
nipples
and felt her clench around
him.

“Squeeze me Lydia; take all
of me deep in you. I’m coming
baby,
I’m coming.” Adams balls
drew incredibly tight, and with a muffled scream, hot seed shot out
of his cock and into his beautiful wife. Her moans of pleasure kept
him hard for several minutes.

Panting, Lydia fell into his body.
“What the hell was that Adam? You’ve never done that
before.”

Smiling, he kissed her
neck. “Having my finger in you drove me crazy.
I want to fill you with my finger, and my
cock, and I wanted both in you at the same time.
How did it feel? I can tell you that my cock was
on fire. The feeling of being squeezed tightly
was intensified
with my finger in you.”

She blinked several
times,
and she tried to speak. “I…I…I can’t think coherently because
my brain has turned to mush. That was without a doubt, the most
intense orgasm I’ve ever had. When your finger curled up and
stroked me, I thought I would lose my mind. I have never felt so
aroused I my life. If you love me, you will do that again…real
soon.” Real soon took about twenty minutes. Relaxed and
stated
, they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

The atmosphere in
Adam’s
house
the following morning was tense. As the clock
neared one o’clock, everyone grew quiet. The doorbell ringing
jolted Adam to his feet. John and Mary were standing on the
opposite side of the
door
. “Good afternoon John, please come
in.”

“Adam, may I speak to you privately
before Mom and Dad arrive?”

Icy chills crept up Adams
back. He had a somber look on his face. Adam escorted his brother
out onto the patio deck. “What is
it,
John?”

“I know the truth about my
adoption. Apparently, I was a crack baby, which affected my
behavior. Several different medications controlled my
outbursts
and explained why I felt so isolated. God only knows how
it
changed
my life. They became frustrated and left me to my
own devices, which we now know was a mistake. We prayed and Dad
asked me to forgive him.”