Nothing, she decided. Nothing could make them come true no matter how much she prayed.
He succeeded for a time. But when his best friend the emperor sauntered into the room around midnight, Bo Tao knew he was in trouble. If anyone could catch him in a lie, it would be Yi Zhen.
“I am not pleased with you,” said the emperor.
This was bad. Yi Zhen was clearly in a mood to toy with him. Bo Tao’s best bet was to play for time. So he took a very long moment to finish his last calculation, make his notation, then set aside his abacus with a sigh. The final touch? He rubbed his eyes. Only then did he look at his emperor. “What? And by the way, your eunuchs are robbing you blind.”
“Hmm.”
Bo Tao cringed internally. The eunuchs were usually the best way to distract Yi Zhen. He and Bo Tao had spent many long hours debating tradition versus cruelty. At the moment, the centuries-old castration practice remained, but Yi Zhen was thinking about making some very bold changes. Unfortunately, that was not on his mind today.
“I am very displeased with you,” the emperor repeated.
Bo Tao kept his face as blank as possible. “Why?”
Yi Zhen stepped fully into the room, but he didn’t sit. “Did you sleep with her?”
Bo Tao’s eyes never wavered. “No.” He’d never confess how close he came to taking her, though. Or how many times.
“You didn’t beat her. You don’t even beat eunuchs.”
Bo Tao considered lying, but he knew he’d never get away with it. Instead, he let his gaze slide to the slivers of broken ivory in the corner. He’d smashed the ugly statue within seconds of her departure this afternoon.
“I humiliated her,” he said with absolute truth.
“You can kill a Dutch envoy without blinking, but one virgin makes you smash a carving of an Immortal.”
Bo Tao frowned. “I thought it was a badly done penis.”
“Hmm.” The silence stretched on until Bo Tao was nearly screaming. Then Yi Zhen abruptly folded his arms across his chest and thrust out his chin. “I could have you killed for playing with one of my virgins.”
“You could have me killed for pissing in a pot. You’re the Son of Heaven.”
“She’s my virgin.”
“I know that.”
“You’re supposed to be figuring out which one would be best as an empress.”
“She qualifies.”
Yi Zhen was quiet again as he stared across the desk at his friend. The man still hadn’t sat down, but towered above like the near-god he was supposed to be. “She spurned you, didn’t she?”
Bo Tao clenched his jaw, the truth hovering on his tongue. No, he could say. No, she wants me as much as I want her. Then maybe his best friend would relent. Maybe Yi Zhen would give up one of his precious virgins to his childhood companion. Or maybe he would kill them both. With Yi Zhen, he never knew.
“I wanted to force her.”
“You’ve never raped before.”
Bo Tao shrugged. He was doing a lot of things he’d never done before.
“I could give her to you,” Yi Zhen said.
Bo Tao’s head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed almost to slits. What game was his friend playing?
“Would you like that?” Yi Zhen pressed.
“Yes.”
Yi Zhen smiled, and for a brief moment, Bo Tao allowed himself to hope. For one wonderful, amazing moment. And then his hope was crushed.
“I could, but then we would never know.”
Bo Tao’s hands tightened into fists on the desk. He didn’t bother to hide them. “Know what, Emperor Xian Feng?” He pushed to his feet, fury radiating out of him. “What do you want to know? How else may I serve the Dragon Throne? Do you want my blood? My spirit? What more do you want from me?”
Yi Zhen’s smile grew cold. He liked that he had pushed Bo Tao to a show of temper. “I want to know if she would rather have me or you.”
Fury boiled through Bo Tao. He slammed his fists onto the desk and leaned forward. “She is not a toy in a child’s game! Marry her, fuck her, sire a whole damned nation out of her!” he screamed. “But do not play games like this with her. She deserves better!”
Yi Zhen raised his eyebrows, obviously enjoying Bo Tao’s fit of temper. It was the same damn game they’d played as boys. No matter what Bo Tao did, whether he was faster, smarter or even crueler than his friend, Yi Zhen always had the upper hand. Yi Zhen was the emperor’s son, and Bo Tao was not. In the end, all was given to Yi Zhen. Always.
And now the emperor relaxed. His smile remained as cold as ever, but now he dropped onto the couch. It was the very couch that Ji Yue had laid her clothing upon, the very couch where she had sprawled naked. And now it was the emperor there, sitting with a triumphant look in his eyes.
Bo Tao groaned, his spirit squirming in torment. “Yi Zhen, what do you want from me?”
“If she is a virgin on our wedding night, then you will get whatever appointment you desire. Name your position. Name your salary.”
Bo Tao nearly sobbed. “How many times have you promised me that?”
The emperor shrugged. “This time it is true. I have written it down.” He tossed a sealed scroll onto Bo Tao’s desk. “Whatever you want, you shall have it at whatever salary you require. But only if she is a virgin on our wedding night.”
Bo Tao’s mouth went dry. His hands shook as he opened the scroll and saw his friend did not lie. “You intend to make her your empress?”
“Is she the best?”
He had to nod. It was the truth.
“Just make sure she screams my name when I fuck her.” And with that, he pushed up from the couch and left.
BO TAO DID NOT SLEEP that night. He wandered through the dark and twisting passageways of the Forbidden City. He stared up at the home of the imperial virgins and fought the need to see her, to talk to her. He forced himself to walk away, then ended up in the tree platform watching another concubine “show.” The very sight nauseated him, and yet he could not leave.
Was this what his future held? Staring at depraved shows, remembering stolen moments with the woman who would soon be empress? Ji Yue would never be seen through this window. She would be busy raising the next emperor and quietly helping to guide a nation.
He would have to leave. He knew he could not be anywhere near the empress without remembering, without thinking of how it felt to have her hand stroking him, her mouth surrounding him. He could not look at his couch without remembering her flushed skin as he brought her to fulfillment or how her body had writhed beneath his lips.
He would never be able to hide his thoughts from Yi Zhen. And though his emperor might be forgiving now, Yi Zhen was not known for his patience. He would not tolerate one of his closest advisors panting after his empress.
Bo Tao had to leave. He would pick a position far away from the Forbidden City, perhaps as ambassador to England or some other barbarian land. He would marry a political wife, someone who would not expect passion in her bed. Then he would sire a brood of children and think no more of Chen JiYue.
He dropped his head against the tree trunk and pushed the thought of her body from his mind. But that only reminded him that Ji Yue had other values. Her notes showed keen insight. If she were a man, he would hire her as his assistant and train her in the ways of politics. With the right guidance, she could become a fearsome leader and a great resource to the Dragon Throne.
But she was a woman, and her skills would make her the perfect empress. As a loyal bannerman, Bo Tao had sworn to give his life to the Dragon Throne. She was just one woman. Did his lust overrule his patriotism? Never! But what about love? Was love stronger than loyalty?
With a brutal curse, he left the concubines’ display. He found himself once again staring up at the virgins’ palace and praying that she would come out. Could he find a way to touch her again? Was there a way to risk a nightly dalliance? He toyed with the idea of overthrowing the entire government just so he could establish his own dynasty with her.
It was nearly dawn when he finally accepted that he was a fool. She was an empress-to-be, and he was not the emperor and never would be. If only she would come outside. He would hold her, and they could watch the dawn together. They would talk about unimportant things, and his spirit would quiet, his worries ease. If only…
He turned and left the Forbidden City. He was only torturing himself here. There was no hope for him and Ji Yue, and yet…As he walked through the gate from the Forbidden City into Peking proper, a kind of madness seized him. Looking out into the dark city, he knew that there was a world beyond the walls of the imperial city, beyond China itself. A whole world where he could carve a place for himself and Ji Yue. If only he dared. If only she dared.
But he had to be very careful. He didn’t know if he was being trailed, if some spy somewhere would see him. He couldn’t afford to take the risk. So with all semblance of despondency, he hailed a rickshaw to take him home. He entered as usual, climbed into bed as usual. Then, when he was sure any possible spy would believe he’d fallen asleep, he slipped out of bed, darkened his skin with dirt and donned coolie pants and hat. Though his body ached for rest, he crept from his own home and headed for the docks.
They were less than two days away from the final selection. All the remaining virgins would be brides, but what level of bride was still to be determined. The only examination left was the last verification of virginity. Excitement was mounting, now that everyone knew they would end up in one harem or another. The virgins’ days were occupied with etiquette instruction. Ji Yue was taught how an imperial consort sat (beautifully), how she should eat (sparingly), how she should walk (rarely and with great beauty) and what she should say (nothing). The head eunuch was in charge of this instruction, and Ji Yue did her best to fade into the background. Unfortunately, that only increased his tight-lipped criticism of all she did. Meals, of course, were the worst. The dowager’s critical eye missed nothing. And if she did, someone else was sure to tattle. Ji Yue had never met so many gossiping, backstabbing women. She certainly had never expected to live her life among them!
Worse, Ji Yue had an extra layer of deception to maintain during meals. After all, she was supposed to have a secret, near undeniable craving for food and sweets. So she had to remember to eat her food almost furtively, her hand motions a little rushed. Her anxiety needed to be clear but under the surface. Which soon created a very real problem with her food. One minute she really was starving, and the next she couldn’t even face it.
And still Bo Tao stayed away. By the end of the evening meal, Ji Yue had worked herself into a state of high anxiety. She was convinced he had sent the message last night, and that she had failed him. He was now lying dead in some Peking garbage heap because she’d spurned him. The idea was completely ridiculous, but that didn’t stop her imagination from running wild. If a messenger came to her tonight, nothing would keep her from going.
Fortunately, the messenger came before the final undressing. A eunuch sidled up to her as she was brushing out her hair. Though many girls kept their hair glued up for practical reasons, Ji Yue had never liked the feel of it, like a heavy brick upon her head. So she took the extra time every day and night to brush it out. Tonight, a pair of soft male hands pulled the brush away from her. She glanced up in shock at the pale-faced eunuch who immediately began stroking her with a too-gentle touch.
“What are you doing?” she said as she tried to jerk her head away.
Underneath the brush, he grabbed a hunk of her hair and held her firm. Apparently, the eunuch was a lot stronger than he looked. She glared at him in the mirror and fought the urge to grimace. First she had to know what he wanted. But she didn’t have to treat him nicely to find out.
“Do you know,” she drawled, “that even a clean man—” that was the euphemism for a eunuch “—will feel great pain when hit hard in the groin. I understand some even pass out.”
In the mirror the eunuch’s eyes widened and he softened his grip on her hair. But he did not release her. “I bring you a message,” he whispered. “You are to come with me to speak with the emperor.”
So, not a message from Bo Tao. Her eyes stung more from that than the pain of having this man’s meaty fist wrapped around her hair. She lifted her chin. “I do not believe the emperor would send someone as brutal as you. Release my hair now or suffer as only a man can.”
He relaxed his grip, and she twisted her head away from him. Then she held out her hand for the brush. He gave it to her carefully, obviously afraid that she might beat him with it.
“You may leave now,” she said.
He didn’t move. Instead, he gestured out her window. “It is not just you, Virgin Chen Ji Yue. Others have been asked to a private audience.”
She didn’t want to look; she was certain this was a trick. And yet her gaze was drawn to the window nonetheless. Was Bo Tao out there waiting in the shadows? No. But she did see three virgins being escorted somewhere. Each was accompanied by a eunuch, but the girls did not seem to be struggling. If anything, they appeared excited. Unfortunately, she couldn’t see well enough to know which of the virgins had been selected.
“Who goes to this special audience?”
“Are you scared?” he taunted. Then his gaze grew sly. “There will be food there. Special treats that are the emperor’s favorite.”
Definitely a trick, but now she was caught in her own lies. If she were indeed desperate for sweets, this would be just the lure to get her to comply. She had to reassure the dowager consort that she could be manipulated by food. She had to keep on the dowager’s good side at least for two more days, until after the final selection. Which meant…
Which meant she was just making excuses for herself. She wanted to go, if only because she might see Bo Tao. It wasn’t likely, but she would have no chance if she sat here brushing her hair.
“Chen Ji Yue!” the eunuch hissed. “You must come now or not at all!”
She pushed up from her chair. “I will come.” He reached out to take her arm, but she jerked it away. “I will walk on my own.” It was a false reassurance. The eunuch was clearly stronger than she was, but at least this way she could run if she had to.
The eunuch bowed to her, his manner vaguely condescending. He knew more than he was saying, but she could think of no way to get the information out of him. So she simply gestured him ahead. She would follow and keep a wary eye out for problems. And for Bo Tao.
They moved quickly through the Forbidden City. To her surprise, two more girls were being ushered ahead. And straight to the emperor’s palace! It couldn’t possibly be a real appointment with the emperor, could it? The prospect made her heart race. She would make a better impression this time. She wouldn’t talk about insurgents or peasants or anything political at all. She would be sweet and beautiful and…
Oh no! Her hair was still down, flowing about her back like a washer girl’s. “Wait!” she panted. “I must fix my hair.”
“There isn’t time,” the eunuch replied. “Besides, he likes it better this way. Do you think the timing is accidental? He wants you in partial dress.”
Her hands hovered about her head in indecision. She didn’t know what to believe or whom to trust. If only she could see Bo Tao. If only…
But he wasn’t here, and she would have to do her best without him. Remembering the way Bo Tao loved touching her hair, how he’d stroked it and buried his face in it, she decided to leave it down. Bo Tao liked her hair free, perhaps the emperor would, too. And why, oh, why couldn’t her heart beat fast at the thought of seeing the emperor rather than Bo Tao?
They made it to an entrance hidden by trees and a walled garden. She looked nervously at the opening. Once she stepped through that door, she would be trapped. But they were at the emperor’s palace. She couldn’t afford to waste this opportunity. And maybe Bo Tao lurked in a darkened room just inside. So with a last glance about her, she nodded her head and ducked inside.
“This way, virgin,” a man’s voice sneered.
She glanced behind her for the eunuch who had escorted her, but he had not followed her inside. The last she saw of him was his leering grin as he closed the door.
“This way,” the voice repeated from deeper inside. She looked down the hallway and saw the head eunuch half illuminated by a lantern.
“This is really a meeting with the emperor?” she breathed, hurrying forward. The head eunuch would not be here otherwise, would he?
“The emperor will be watching,” the man responded. “See that you perform as instructed.”
She slowed her steps and pretended to play with her hair. This was clearly a trap of some kind. The eunuchs were acting too slyly, but how did she protect herself? “Perform how? What am I to do?”
“As you are instructed,” he repeated. Then he stepped fully into the shadows such that the light fell upon a recessed door. “Inside there, virgin.”
She couldn’t go in blindly. Anything could be on the other side! So she started to take a step back. But just at that moment, another virgin was pushed into the hallway. It was Li Fei, the girl from the country who was the closest Ji Yue had to a friend among the virgins. Her eyes were huge in her pale face and a nervous giggle betrayed her anxiety.
“Ji Yue, have you been ordered to come, too? Well, of course you have. I mean he noticed you that very first night. You know, when we were celebrating the defeat of the Taiping. Of course, you didn’t do so well then, but you’re here now. Your hair is down. Are you sure you don’t—”
“You are late!” snapped the head eunuch. “Hurry up! Inside now!” He grabbed hold of Li Fei and dragged her forward.
Ji Yue tried to stop them, but there was no room. The head eunuch shoved Li Fei, who in turn stumbled into Ji Yue and pushed her straight into a room hazy with a dirty, bluish smoke.
Li Fei immediately started coughing. JiYue’s eyes watered, but she was more used to the smell of men’s tobacco. Her father loved to smoke after dinner. Except this smell was more than just tobacco. It included opium, spiced teas and men. A lot of men.
“We should leave,” Ji Yue murmured. “Now.”
To her credit, Li Fei did not argue. She had stopped coughing, but her eyes were watering enough that the black makeup around them was smudged. Ji Yue backed up and felt for the door. She couldn’t find it. She spun around, but all she could see was the flat panel of a painted wall. There was a latch somewhere. There had to be!
“Hey ho! Another one!” a man’s voice called out in the coarse dialect of Canton.
Male cheers responded and suddenly someone grabbed hold of her arm. Ji Yue tried to jerk free, but he was large and strong, and when she looked up into his face, she saw he was a white man like those from the Dutch envoy.
She would have screamed, but her throat had closed off in terror. Beside her, Li Fei did better. She jerked back from her captor and screamed, “White devil!”
Crack! Li Fei’s head snapped back as her captor backhanded her. This time a squeak of alarm managed its way out of Ji Yue’s throat, but that was all the sound she made as her own captor lifted his arm threateningly. She braced for the blow, raising her arm to block it and adjusting her body to kick the brute right between his legs. She doubted this one was a eunuch. He would feel her blow for certain.
But a voice stopped her. “Do not be afraid, virgins,” the man said in a high voice. It was Duan Xu, the head eunuch’s favorite assistant. “The emperor wished you brought here to entertain our guests.” He sauntered forward, a pipe in his hands. “Take a breath. It will help relax your fears.”
“That’s opium,” Ji Yue guessed.
Duan Xu smiled. “Have you always wanted a taste? Have some. The emperor’s special gift to you.”
“No, it’s not,” she snapped. She scanned the room quickly, looking for a way to escape. She saw a dozen or more men—white and Chinese—all lounging throughout the room. The opium smokers were obvious by their glazed looks. Unfortunately, there were not many. The others drank or leered at the other virgins in the room. All of the girls had a pipe pressed to their lips.
And nowhere did she see an exit.
The white man grabbed the pipe and brought it to her face. He was saying something and smiling as if his doglike voice would reassure her. She fought him. She kicked and punched, but he was much too large and she was backed up against a wall with him on one side and a eunuch on the other. They pinned her head and pushed the pipe to her lips.
“Don’t waste it!” he growled.
She couldn’t move her head. Fortunately that helped her keep her lips sealed. She would not put that foul thing in her mouth! She would not!
Pain lanced through her belly. The eunuch had punched her! She gasped in shock, her knees crumpling beneath her. But the white man was there holding her up by her head. And sweet hot smoke filled her lungs.
No! But it was too late. She had breathed, and the sweet feel of it was…like duck feathers…soft down in her head and blood.
Then it was gone. She frowned as she took more deep breaths. She didn’t want the opium smoke, and yet part of her already mourned its loss. Glancing to the side, she saw Li Fei in a similar state. Her skin was pale except for the angry red mark on her cheek. Her body was still held by her captor, but she was not fighting. In fact, her gaze followed the opium pipe as it was pulled away.
“No,” Ji Yue said, trying to force an authority into her voice. “This is wrong. We are imperial virgins.”
Someone responded, but she didn’t understand his words. The other men did, though, and their laughter boomed in the room. Then she saw something that brought true fear to her heart. It was hard to see clearly through the smoke and the press of men. The eunuch dragged her forward, pulling her relentlessly, though she still tried to struggle. She was moving to a line of men. Were they pulling off their pants?
They were! All in a line, Chinese and white, their pants at their feet as they stood with organs proudly displayed. And like all boys, they laughed and mocked one another while each of the girls was dragged forward.
“What are you doing?” gasped one of the virgins. “I should not see this!”