The Complete Vampire Chronicles 12-Book Bundle (The Vampire Chronicles) (532 page)

“It particularly intrigued me that saints had had visions, that some saints saw their guardian angels and even talked to them. I wondered if Goblin, not being an angel, had to be from Hell.

“Lynelle said no. I never had the courage, or the clear urge, to ask a priest about Goblin. I sensed that Goblin would be condemned as morbid imagination, and at times I thought of Goblin that way myself.

“Lynelle asked me if Goblin put me up to evil. I said no. ‘Then you don’t have to tell a priest about him,’ she explained. ‘He has no connection with sin. Use your brain and your conscience. A priest is no more likely to understand Goblin than anyone else.’

“That might sound ambiguous now, but it didn’t then.

“I think, all in all, the six years I had with Lynelle were some of the happiest in my life.

“Naturally, I was drawn away from Pops and Sweetheart, but they were proud and relieved to see me learning things and didn’t mind a bit. Besides, I still spent time with Pops, playing the harmonica after lunch and talking about ‘old times,’ though Pops was hardly an old man. He liked Lynelle.

“Even Patsy was drawn to Lynelle and joined us for some of our adventures, at which time I had to squeeze into the tiny backseat of the sports car while the two women chatted away up front. My most poignant memory of Patsy’s joining us has to do with Goblin, to whom I talked all the time, and the shock of Lynelle when Patsy cursed at me to stop talking to that disgusting ghost.

“Lynelle softened and intimidated Patsy, and something else happened which I think I only understand now as I look back on those years. It is simply this: that Lynelle’s respect for me, not only as Goblin’s friend but as little Tarquin Blackwood, had the effect of causing Patsy to respect me and to talk to me more sincerely and often than she had in the past.

“It was as if my mother never ‘saw’ the person I was until Lynelle really drew her attention to me, and then a vague interest substituted for the condescending and arrogant pity—‘You poor sweet darlin’ ’—that Patsy had felt before.

“Lynelle was a great watcher also of popular movies, particularly those which were ‘gothic’ or ‘romantic,’ as she called it, and she brought tapes of everything, from
Robocop
to
Ivanhoe,
to watch with me in the evenings, and sometimes this brought Patsy into the room. Patsy enjoyed
Dark Man
and
The Crow,
and even Jean Cocteau’s
Beauty and the Beast.

“More than once we all watched
Coal Miner’s Daughter,
all about Loretta Lynn, the wonderful country-western star whom Patsy so admired. And I observed that Lynelle could talk ‘country’ pretty easily with Patsy. It made me jealous. I wanted my romantic and mysterious Lynelle to myself.

“However, I learned something about Patsy during these years, which I should have foreseen. Patsy felt stupid around Lynelle, and for that reason the connection petered away and at one point threatened to break. Patsy wouldn’t stay around anyone who made her feel stupid, and she didn’t have an open mind with which to learn.

“This turning away of Patsy didn’t surprise me and didn’t matter to me. (I think it was Ingmar Bergman’s
The Seventh Seal
that proved the death knell of our little movie-watching triangle.) But something else good happened as regards to Patsy, and that was that Lynelle liked Patsy’s music and asked if we could come in to listen, and then praised Patsy a lot for what she was doing with her one-man band, a ‘friend’ by the name of Seymour, who played harmonica and drums.

“(Seymour was an opportunistic jerk, or so I thought at the time. Fate had punishment in store for Seymour.)

“Patsy was obviously astonished by this, and jubilant, and we sat through quite a few concerts in the garage, which Lynelle enjoyed more than me. Naturally enough Goblin loved them and danced and danced until he flat-out dissolved.

“As I tell you this, I realize that Lynelle was quite deliberate in this design. She sensed that Patsy was afraid of her and backing off from us—‘You’re a couple of eggheads’—and so she took me out there to Patsy quite cleverly to forge a new link.

“In fact, she pushed the matter further. She took me to see Patsy perform at a county jamboree. It was in Mississippi somewhere, right across the border from where we lived, and part of the county fair. I had never seen my mother on the stage, and people hollering for her and clapping for her, and it opened my eyes.

“With her teased yellow hair and heavy face makeup Patsy looked plastic pretty, and her singing was strong and good. Her songs had a dark bluegrass tone to them, and she herself was playing the banjo, and another guy, whom I didn’t know very well, was sawing away on a rapid, mournful violin. Seymour was a pretty stiff backup with the harmonica and drums.

“That was all very sweet and made a huge impression on me, but when Patsy launched into her next number, a real hard-edged ‘You’ve been mean to me, you bastard!’ type of song, the crowd went nuts. They couldn’t get enough of my little mother, and people were flocking towards the stage from all over the fair. Patsy upped the ante with the next one, her priceless ‘You Poisoned My Well, I’ll Poison Yours.’ I don’t remember much else except thinking she was a hit, and her life wasn’t in vain.

“But I didn’t need Patsy. I’m not sure I’ve ever needed Patsy. Sure Patsy was a hit with the yokels, but I had Beethoven’s Ninth.

“And I had Lynelle. It was when Lynelle and I drove into New Orleans alone together with Goblin that I was most overjoyed.

“I have never known a human being who drove faster than Lynelle, but she seemed to possess an instinct for avoiding policemen, and the one time we were stopped she told a tall story about us rushing to the bedside of a woman in labor, and not only did she not get the ticket, the policeman had to be discouraged from giving us a full escort to the fictitious hospital in town.

“Lynelle was beautiful. There is no more perfect way to say it. She had arrived here at Blackwood Manor to find me a country boy who couldn’t write a sentence and left me some six years later, a dramatically well-educated young man.

“At sixteen I completed all the examinations for high school graduation, and ranked in the top percentile on the college entrance exams as well.

“In that last year that we would be together, Lynelle also taught me how to drive. Pops fully approved, and I was soon roving with the pickup truck on our land and on the backcountry roads all around. Lynelle took me to get my license, and Pops gave me an old pickup to call my own.

“I think Lynelle would have left me a real reader of books too if Goblin hadn’t been so jealous of my reading, so intent upon being included, so intent upon me sounding every word to him out loud or listening to him sound it to me. But that skill—the skill of sinking into books—was to come to me with my second great teacher, Nash.

“Meanwhile, Goblin seemed to feed off Lynelle, even as he fed off me, though at the time I wouldn’t have described it that way, and Goblin was getting physically stronger all the time.

“Big shocker. A Sunday. It was pouring down rain. I must have been twelve years old. I was working on the computer and Goblin cursed at me and the machine went dead. I checked all the connections, booted my program again, and there came Goblin, switching it off.

“ ‘You did that, didn’t you?’ I said, looking around for him, and there he was near the door, my perfect doppelgänger in jeans and a red-and-white checkered shirt, except that he had his arms folded and a smug smile on his face.

“He had my full attention. But I turned the computer back on without taking my eyes off him, and then he pointed to the gasolier. He made it blink.

“ ‘All right, that’s excellent,’ I said. (It was his favorite compliment and had been for years.) ‘But don’t you dare turn off the power in this house. Tell me what you want.’ He made the motions to ‘Let’s go’ and of the rain coming down.

“ ‘No, I’m too old for that,’ I said. ‘You come here and work with me.’ At once I got a chair for him, and when he sat down beside me I explained that I was writing to Aunt Queen, and I read the letter out loud to him, though that wasn’t necessary. I was telling Aunt Queen thank you for her recent offer that Lynelle could always use her bedroom if she needed to freshen up or change clothes or spend the night.

“When I got to the bottom and went to close, Goblin grabbed my left hand as always and typed without spaces, ‘IamGoblinandQuinnisGoblinandGoblinisQuinnandweloveAuntQueen.’ He stopped. He dissolved.

“I knew without question that he’d exhausted himself in turning off the computer. That made me feel safe. The rest of the day and night was mine.

“Another time, very soon after, when Lynelle and I were dancing to a Tchaikovsky waltz—really cutting up in the parlor after all the guests were gone to bed—Goblin socked me in the stomach, which took the breath out of me, and then dissolved, not as if he wanted to but as if he had to—gone in a puff, leaving me crying and sick.

“Lynelle was quite astonished by this, but she never doubted me when I told her Goblin had done it, and then when we were sitting, talking in our intimate way, adult to adult, she confessed to me that she had several times felt Goblin pull her hair. She had tried to ignore it the first couple of times, but now she was certain he did it.

“ ‘This is a strong ghost you have,’ she said. And no sooner had she spoken those words than the gasolier up above us began to move. I had never seen that trick before, this slight movement of those heavy brass arms and glass cups, but it was damn near undeniable. Lynelle laughed. Then she uttered a startled sound. She said she’d been pinched on her right arm. Again she laughed and then, though he wasn’t visible to me, she spoke to Goblin in soothing terms, telling him that she was as fond of him as of me.

“I saw Goblin—now fourteen, you understand, because I was fourteen—standing by the bedroom door and looking proudly at me. I realized keenly that his face had more definition to it than it used to have in the past, principally because that slightly contemptuous expression was new. He was quick to dematerialize, and I was confirmed in my earlier opinion that when he affected matter physically he didn’t have energy to ‘appear’ for very long.

“But he was getting stronger, no doubt of it.

“I vowed at once ‘to kill’ Goblin for hurting Lynelle, and after Lynelle took off in her shining Mazda, I wrote to Aunt Queen that Goblin was doing the ‘unthinkable’ by hurting other people. I told her about the sharp punch in the stomach as well. I sent the letter off by express so she’d get it in two or three days though she was in India at the time.

And to keep Goblin amused that weekend I read aloud to him by the hour from
Lost Worlds,
a wonderful book of archaeology that had been a gift from Aunt Queen.

“Aunt Queen called as soon as she’d received my letter and she told me that I must control Goblin, that I must find a way to stop him from his behavior by threatening not to look at him or talk to him, and that I had to make these declarations stick.

“ ‘You mean to tell me, Aunt Queen, you finally believe in him?’ I asked.

“ ‘Quinn, I’m across the world from you right now,’ she answered. ‘I can’t argue with you about what Goblin is. What I’m saying is you have to contain him, whether he’s real and separate, or simply a part of you.’

“I agreed with her and I told her I knew how to control him. But I would concentrate on learning more than I knew.

“Meanwhile I was to keep her apprised of things.

“After that she raved about the coherence and style of my letter, which showed a vast improvement over earlier letters, and she attributed my progress correctly to Lynelle.

“I followed Aunt Queen’s directions regarding Goblin, and Lynelle did too. If Goblin did something inappropriate, we lectured him and then refused to acknowledge him until his weak and puny assaults came to a halt. It worked.

“But Goblin wanted more than ever to write, and he moved into a new level of concentration, spelling out messages on the computer using my left hand.

“It gave me more than an eerie feeling, this takeover of my left hand, because Goblin didn’t move my right hand, and so a strange rhythm of writing with one hand mastering the entire keyboard occurred. Lynelle would watch this with a mixture of trepidation and fascination, but she made an astounding discovery.

“And this astounding discovery was that she could communicate with me privately and secretly by typing out on the computer what she had to say using very big words. On that day she wrote something on the order of:

“ ‘Our gallant and ever vigilant doppelgänger may not perceive the many perambulations that run through the cerebral organ of his much cherished and sometimes misused Tarquin Blackwood.’

“And it was plainly obvious from Goblin’s nearby dumb appearance that Lynelle was perfectly right. Goblin, for all his early gains on me, couldn’t interpret such messages. Lynelle typed out more, something like this:

“ ‘Comprehend, beloved Tarquin, that your doppelgänger, though once he absorbed all that you absorbed, may have reached the limits of his power to master fine distinctions, and this allows you a luxurious measure of freedom from his demands and intentions when it is desired.’

“I took over the keyboard and, as Goblin watched suspiciously, being very solid and curious, I wrote that I comprehended all of this, and that we now had the computer for very rapid communication of two kinds.

“It could be used for Goblin’s tapping out simple messages to me using my hand, and by Lynelle and me communicating with a larger vocabulary than Goblin could grasp.

“About this time in my adventures with Lynelle, she tried to explain these mechanisms to Patsy but met with a flat-out ‘You’re crazier than Quinn is, Lynelle; both of you ought to be locked up.’ And when Lynelle approached Pops and Sweetheart they appeared not to understand the significance of Goblin not knowing everything that was in my mind.

“Because that was it: Goblin didn’t necessarily read my thoughts! When I look back on it now it seems an earthshaking discovery, but one that I should have made a long time before.