The Complete Enderby (18 page)

‘Oh, shut up,’ moaned Vesta. ‘Leave me alone.’

‘Yes, darling,’ said Enderby, accommodating. ‘Certainly, darling. You have a little sleep, darling.’ He heard himself wheedling like a foreign whore, so he straightened up and said more gruffly, ‘I’ll go and see about traveller’s cheques.’ Saying that, he was standing up against the door, as if challenging it or measuring himself against it. When a knock came he was able to open it at once. The long-faced boy looked startled. His arms were full of roses, red and white. ‘
Fiori
,’ he said, ‘
per la signora
.’

‘Who from?’ frowned Enderby, feeling for an accompanying
card
. ‘Good God,’ he said, finding it. ‘Rawcliffe. And Rawcliffe’s in the bar. Darling,’ he called, turning. But she was asleep.

‘Ah,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘You got the message, got the flowers? Good. Where,’ he asked, ‘is Mrs Enderby?’ He was dressed as when Enderby had last seen him, in an old-fashioned heavy suit with a gold watch-chain, Kipling-moustached, beetle-goggled, drunk.

‘Mrs Enderby,’ said Enderby, ‘is dead.’

‘I beg your pardon,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Already? Roman fever? How very Jamesian!’

‘Oh, I see what you mean,’ said Enderby. ‘Sorry. She only became Mrs Enderby today, you see. It takes some getting used to. I thought you meant my stepmother.’

‘I see, I see. And your stepmother’s dead, is she? How very interesting!’ Enderby shyly examined the bar, the shelves massed with liquors of all countries, the silver tea-urn, the espresso apparatus. Behind the bar a short fat man kept bowing. ‘Have some of this Strega,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Dante,’ he said, and the fat un-Dantesque man came to attention. Rawcliffe then spoke most intricate Italian, full, as far as Enderby could judge, of subjunctives, but with a most English accent. ‘Strega,’ said Dante. ‘Are you,’ said Enderby nastily, ‘in all the Italian anthologies, too?’ He was given, with flourishes, a glass of Strega.

‘Ha, ha,’ said Rawcliffe, without much mirth. ‘As a matter of fact, there’s a very good Italian translation of that little poem of mine, you know. It goes well into Italian. Now, tell me, tell me, Enderby, what are you writing at the moment?’

‘Nothing,’ said Enderby. ‘I finished my long poem,
The Pet Beast
. I told you about that.’

‘You most certainly did,’ said Rawcliffe, bowing. Dante bowed too. ‘A very good idea, that was. I look forward to reading it.’

‘What I’d like to know,’ said Enderby, ‘is what you’re doing here. You don’t look as though you’re on holiday, not in those clothes you don’t.’

Rawcliffe did something Enderby had read about but never
before
seen: he placed a finger against his nose. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘Most certainly
not
on holiday. At work. Always at work. Some more Strega?’

‘With me,’ said Enderby. Dante bowed and bowed, filling their glasses. ‘And one for you, too,’ said Enderby, expansive, on his honeymoon. Dante bowed and said to Rawcliffe, ‘
Americano
?’

‘
Inglese
,’ said Rawcliffe.

‘
Americani
,’ said Dante, leaning forward, confidential, ‘fack you.
Mezzo mezzo
.’

‘
Un poeta
,’ said Rawcliffe, ‘that’s what he is.
Poeta
. Feminine in form, masculine in gender.’

‘I beg your pardon,’ said Enderby. ‘Did you by any chance mean anything by that?’

‘As a matter of fact,’ said Rawcliffe, ‘it’s my belief that all we poets are really a sort of a blooming hermaphrodite. Like Tiresias, you know. And you’re on your honeymoon, eh? Have some more Strega.’

‘What exactly do you mean by that?’ said Enderby, wary.

‘Mean? You are a one for meaning, aren’t you? The meaning of meaning. I. A. Richards and the Cambridge school. A lot of twaddle, if you ask my opinion. All right, if you won’t have more Strega with me I’ll have more Strega with you.’

‘Strega,’ said Enderby.

‘Your Italian’s coming along very nicely,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘A couple of nice vowels there. A couple of nice Stregas,’ he said, as these appeared. ‘God bless, all.’ He drank. He sang, ‘Who would an ender be, let him come hither.’

‘How did you know we were here?’ asked Enderby.

‘Air terminal,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Today’s arrivals from London. Always interesting. Here, they said honeymoon. Remarkable, Enderby, in a man of your age.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ asked Enderby.

‘You gentlemen ave Strega on the ouse,’ said Dante, pouring.

‘
Tante grazie
,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘There you go, Enderby, worrying about meaning all the time.’ He sang, standing to attention. ‘Would you a spender be, would you a mender be, God save the Queen. No meaning there, is there? Would you a fender be. That’s better still. Too much meaning in your poetry, Enderby. Always has been.’
His
words rode over a few drinker’s belches. ‘Pardon, as they say.’ He drank.

‘Strega,’ said Enderby. ‘
E uno per Lei, Dante
.’

‘You can’t say that,’ said Rawcliffe, hiccoughing. ‘What bloody awful Italian you speak, Enderby! Bad as your poetry. Pardon. Fair criticism. But I will say that the monster idea of yours was a bloody good one. Too good to make a poem out of it. Ah, Rome,’ he said, lyrically, ‘fair, fair Rome. Remarkable place, Enderby, no place like it. Listen, Enderby. I’m going to a party tonight. At the house of the Principessa Somebody-or-other. Would you like to come? You and your missus? Or does it behove you to retire early this fair nuptial night?’ He shook his head. ‘La Rochefoucauld, or some other bloody scoundrel, said you mustn’t do it on the first night. What did he know about it, eh? Homosexuals, the lot of them. All writers are homosexuals. They have to be. Stands to reason. To hell with writing.’ He poured his last few drops of Strega on to the floor. ‘That,’ he said, ‘is for the Lares and Penates to come and lap up. A potation, that is to say a libation. They come to lap it up like bloody big dogs. More Strega.’

‘Don’t you think?’ said Enderby cautiously. ‘I mean, if you’re going to a party –’

‘Not for hours yet,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Hours and hours and hours. Plenty of time for you to get it over and done with several times over before it starts. If you can, that is. Shellfish are bloody good, you know. Magnificent augmenters of male potency. Scampi. Dante,’ he cried, ‘send for some scampi for this here signore. He is a newly married man, God bless him.’ Rawcliffe swayed on his stool. Dante said:

‘Today you are married? Very good. You ave Strega on the ouse.’ He poured. ‘
Salute
,’ he toasted. ‘
Molti bambini
,’ he winked.

‘Lovely grub,’ said Rawcliffe, drinking. Enderby drank and said:

‘What you’ve been saying is very indelicate. You ought by rights to be bashed.’

‘Oh dear dear dear me, no,’ said Rawcliffe, shaking his head, his eyes shut. ‘Not on a day like this. Much too warm.
Pace, pace
, this is a city of peace.’ He began to fall asleep.

‘
Troppo
,’ confided Dante. ‘Too mash. You get im ome.’

‘No,’ said Enderby. ‘Damn it all, I’m on my honeymoon. I don’t like him, anyway, Nasty bit of work.’

‘Jealous,’ mumbled Rawcliffe, eyes still shut, head drooping to the counter. ‘I’m in all the anthologies. He’s not. Popular poet, me. Known and loved and respected by all.’ He then neatly, as in a professional tumbling act, collapsed with the stool on to the deep carpet of the bar, falling, it seemed, quite slowly, in a rotary figure. The noise, though muffled, was loud enough to summon men in skimpy suits from the hotel lobby. These spoke very fast Italian and looked with hate upon Enderby. Enderby said:

‘Nothing to do with me. He was drunk when I met him.’ Surlily he added, ‘Damn it all, I’m on my honeymoon.’ Two men bent over Rawcliffe and Enderby was afforded an intimate, non-tourist’s, glimpse of the city, for one man had dandruff and the other boil-scars on his nape. Rawcliffe opened one eye and said, very clearly:

‘Don’t trust him. He’s a spy pretending to be on his honeymoon. Made me drunk to shteal official shecretsh. Overthrow of Italian government plot dishcovered, alleged. Bombs shecreted in Foro Traiano and Tempio di Vesta.’

‘You leave my wife out of this,’ threatened Enderby.

‘Ah, wife,’ said one of the men. ‘
Capito
.’ All was clear. Enderby had knocked Rawcliffe down in wronged husband’s legitimate anger. A matter of honour. Rawcliffe now snored. The two men returned to their lobby to see about a taxi for him. Dante said to Enderby, tentatively: ‘Strega?’

‘
Si
,’ said Enderby. He signed the chit and counted the number of other chits he had signed, all for Strega. Amazing. He would have to go easy, he hadn’t all the money in the world. But, of course, he reflected, after this honeymoon he would start
earning
money. The capital was there to be spent; Vesta had said so.

Rawcliffe ceased snoring, smacked his lips, and said: ‘Thou hast wrongedst me, O Enderby.’ His eyes did not open. ‘I wished no harm. Merely desired to crown your nuptials in appropriate manner.’ He then gave a loud snore. A taxi-driver with a square of moustache dead under his nose entered, shook his head tolerantly, and started to lift Rawcliffe by the shoulders. Members of the hotel staff appeared, including menials in off-white jackets, and Dante struck a pose behind the bar. All were waiting for Enderby to lift Rawcliffe’s feet.

Enderby said: ‘I know he’s
Inglese
and I’m
Inglese
, but it bloody
well
stops there. I can’t stand him, see?
Io
,’ he said, piecing the sentence together painfully, ‘
non voglio aiutare
.’ Everybody inclined, with smiles, to show that they appreciated this attempt on the part of an Englishman to use their beautiful language, but they ignored the meaning, perhaps having been well schooled by this snoring Rawcliffe. ‘I won’t help,’ repeated Enderby, picking up Rawcliffe’s feet. (There was a hole in the left sole.) ‘This is no way to be spending a bloody honeymoon,’ said Enderby, helping, very awkwardly, to carry Rawcliffe out. ‘Especially in Rome.’ As he passed, now panting, the ranked officials of the hotel, these bowed fully or gently inclined, all with smiles.

The Via Nazionale was afire with sun and brilliant with people. The taxi throbbed, waiting, by the kerb, Enderby and the driver sweated as they pushed their way, Rawcliffe still snoring. A sort of begging friar rattled his box at Enderby. ‘For cough,’ said Enderby. An American, not the john one, poised his camera to shoot. ‘For cough,’ snarled expiring Enderby. The driver, raising his knee to support the snoring body, freed his hand to open the passenger-door. Rawcliffe, like six months’ laundry, was bundled in. ‘There,’ said Enderby. ‘All yours.’

‘
Dove
?’ asked the driver.

‘Oh, God, yes, where to?’ Enderby manhandled, still panting, the loud, still Rawcliffe, trying to shout, ‘Where do you live, you bastard? Come on, tell us where.’

Rawcliffe came awake with startling briskness, as though he had merely pretended to pass out so that he might be carried. His blue eyes, quite clear, flashed patches of Roman sky at Enderby. ‘Tiber, Father Tiber,’ he said, ‘on whom the Romans prey. The Via Mancini by the Ponte Matteotti.’

The driver eagerly drank that in. ‘O world, O life, O time,’ intoned Rawcliffe. ‘Here lies one whose name was
not
writ in water. In all the anthologies.’ He returned to a heavy sleep with louder snores than before. Enderby hesitated, then, since the whole waiting world seemed to expect it of him, roughly made room next to Rawcliffe. They drove off. The driver honked down the Via Nazionale and turned abruptly into the Via IV Novembre. Then, as they sped north up the Via del Corso, Rawcliffe came quite alive again, sat up sedately, and said:

‘Have you such a thing as a cigarette on you, my dear Enderby? An English cigarette, preferably.’

‘Are you all right now?’ asked Enderby. ‘Can I get out here and let you go home on your own?’

‘Over there on the left,’ pointed Rawcliffe, ‘you’ll find the Pantheon if you look carefully. And there’ – his hand swished right, striking Enderby – ‘down the street of humility, at the end, is the Fontana di Trevi. There you will throw your coin and be photographed by touts in berets. Do give me a cigarette, there’s a good fellow.’ Enderby offered a single crushed Senior Service. Rawcliffe took it steadily without thanks, lighting up as firm as a rock. ‘We come now, Enderby, to the Piazza Colonna. There it is, the column itself, and at the top Marcus Aurelius, see.’

‘I could get off here,’ suggested Enderby, ‘and go back to the hotel. My wife isn’t too good, you know.’

‘Isn’t she?’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Not too good at what? A great admirer of poets, though. I’ll say that for her. She always liked my little poem in the anthologies. It’s quite likely, you know, Enderby, that you’re going to be a great man. She likes to back winners. She backed one very good one, but that was in the field of sport. Poets don’t get killed as racing-drivers do, you know. Look, the Piazza del Popolo. And now we’re coming up to the Via Flaminia and there, you can just see, is Father Tiber himself, into whom the Romans spit.’

‘What do you know about my wife?’ asked Enderby. ‘Who told you I’d married Vesta Bainbridge?’

‘It was in the popular papers,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Didn’t you see? Perhaps she kept them from you. Pete Bainbridge’s widow to remarry, they said. The popular papers didn’t seem to know very much about you. But when you’re dead there’ll be biographies, you know. There haven’t been any biographies of Pete Bainbridge, so there’s a lot to be said for not being known to the readers of the
Daily Mirror
. Ah, here is the Via Mancini.’ He banged the glass partition and made grotesque boxing gestures at the driver. The driver nodded, swerved madly, and came to rest before a small drinking-shop. ‘This is where I have my humble lodging,’ said Rawcliffe. ‘Above here.’