The Color of Courage (25 page)

Come on, Daley, I trained you better than this.

It was Summer’s voice in my head, and whether she was really there or it was my subconscious trying to wake me up, I responded. Panic faded. I was on my feet and in the center of the room. I turned, and despite the size and strength in his hands, it broke the goon’s grip. I darted forward a few feet, then dodged right, using my empathic senses again to pinpoint where they were and what they were doing. I used my eyes to search my surroundings for weapons, because I hadn’t brought any of those, either.

The wide-open area bore the hallmarks of luxury that I’d expected to see upstairs. Heavy leather furniture, recessed lighting, built-in display cases and bookshelves. In short, nothing handy to bash someone’s head in. Nothing except silk-covered cinderblock walls.

So I dodged and spun and landed a few blows. Took a few, too, most on my body where they did no damage because of my suit. One fist to the side of my head brought the stars back, but I was ready for the next one. Goon number two, who’d been hit by his own guy, came roaring at me, ready to finish me off. I caught his wrist and slung him headfirst into the wall, knocking him out cold. I used him as a springboard to leap-kick into his surprised partner’s face, and he went down, as well.

Over my harsh breathing I heard slow, familiar clapping. Charles stepped out of a nook, smiling proudly at me.

“Yes, Ms. Charm, you certainly do have all the skills. You also have determination and guts, coming here alone.”

“You knew I would.” I kept moving as he approached, circling so he could get no physical advantage over me. He blocked the ladder briefly, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to be running.

“Of course I did. You are so like me, it was inevitable. Not that I made it too difficult, but then, it’s been several days.”

I shrugged. “No one expected you to be foolish enough to come here.”

He chuckled. “Indeed. That’s what makes it so smart.” His expression hardened. “Enough banter. You have a decision to make.”

“Like your brother did?”

It was a stab in the dark, a way to stall for time, but it worked. He went still, and the anger and pain in him seethed.

“You know about my brother.”

“I know you killed him. Was he an empath, too?” I knew he wasn’t. Chicago didn’t have an empath on their team.

“Hardly,” Charles scoffed. “He was a short-term clairvoyant. He could see things that were about to happen, with just enough time to stop them. Came in very handy for the heroes. Would have made us an unbeatable team, had he valued family over honor.”

He didn’t need to say any more than that. His pain was clear to me now. He felt betrayed by his flesh and blood and couldn’t handle what that did to him. He’d twisted it and perverted anything positive he might have felt, and then paid his brother back in spades. I had no doubt he’d known who’d killed him.

That didn’t explain why he was hell-bent on getting rid of the rest of us, but maybe there didn’t need to be a reason. Maybe he’d been damaged beyond repair, beyond rationality. Maybe the alliances of superheroes taunted him so he was compelled to destroy us, to prove he was better than us, better than his brother, some way to ease the pain.

“What decision is that?” I arched my eyebrows. After what he’d done, could he still really think . . .?

“You can join me, or die.”

Yep. He could. I laughed, hard. That would be my protection. I let the laughter fill me, then create a bubble around me. Charles wasn’t happy. He pushed against my bubble, but couldn’t penetrate it.

“Clever. But it works both ways, my dear. If I can’t get through it to you, you can’t get through it to me.”

“I did before.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I always thought you were the most powerful superhero at HQ, even though you didn’t use that power, or understand it. After all, we share our abilities, and I’m the most powerful villain. That gives this battle a world of meaning, doesn’t it?” He looked around and shook his head. “Pity we couldn’t have an audience. Shall we wait for your friends?”

The perfect goad, and he knew it. He didn’t have to name Summer for me to think of her, for the rage to inflate inside my delight, giving him a tool into my depths.

Or so he thought. I did react the way he wanted me to. I couldn’t help it. But when he attacked, my layers served as double protection against the spear of hatred he sent at me. He recoiled, drawing it back. I moved forward, creating my own spear. He frowned.

“What is that?”

I would have laughed again, but the fact that he didn’t recognize love inspired pity rather than amusement. I didn’t answer him as I concentrated on my weapon. He backed away a few steps before he realized what he was doing. The malice he’d harbored for who knew how long reared up above him and came crashing down on top of me.

This time, it worked. It pierced my shield and dug into me, the horror pushing me to my knees. It dredged up thoughts I would never allow on my own. Thoughts of killing, of harming those who’d done harm. Causing pain such as I’d endured.

I gasped, pushing hard against it, trying to get it out of me. The spear I’d developed faded under the onslaught of negativity.

“You see, Daley,” Charles said conversationally, “you have this belief that friendship is the ultimate protection. Friendship and loyalty and the bonds they create. But those bonds are so easily broken, and they’re even more fragile when those who inspire them aren’t present.”

He pushed harder, inducing the same pain I’d felt on the floor of the memorial. I swallowed a scream and curled into myself, fighting it.

“Don’t worry, though,” he continued. “They’ll come. I sent an SOS on your behalf. They think it came from your cell phone and will be here within moments. Then you can watch as I make them kill each other before I kill you.”

I ground my teeth against the pain. It
wasn’t
the same. It was different. It wasn’t mine. He was imposing his emotions on me this time, not using my own. He threatened because he knew I wasn’t as vulnerable to external attack as I’d been to internal. He knew how strong I really was, and he wanted to ignite my fear.

He would have, if I hadn’t been ready for it. I caught it before it flared and harnessed what inspired it. Not the fear itself, but the love it came from.

I shoved myself to my feet. Charles stepped back, uncertainty rising in his aura. “You’re wrong about us,” I told him, my teeth still gritted. I ignored what he was doing to me and concentrated on what I would do to him. I fed that love and trust and solidified it as best as I could. Fear was strong, but it was one-dimensional. Love had depth. It had my family, and my friends, and Adam. And even Evan, and the brief pleasure and happiness he’d given me.

Love was complex, and nothing as weak and simple as fear could banish it.

I shoved the ball I’d created at Charles, right into his center. He gasped, his eyes widening.

A psychic I met in college had once told me that love and hatred cannot coexist in one person in the afterlife. I trusted that was true in this life, as well, at least to the extent I needed it to be.

And it was. My shimmering, opalescent ball collided with his dark, boiling center, and exploded. It was nothing a normal person would see, but it blinded me for what seemed like several minutes before my empathic and regular vision cleared.

I was standing alone. Charles lay on the floor, auraless, next to his goons. I stepped on his arm while I checked for a pulse. It was there, and strong enough that I knew he wasn’t physically harmed. But I’d done to him what he’d done to me. I hoped it would last, but doubted it. He’d go to prison and probably make things very difficult for everyone in there.

Though I hadn’t brought my gear, I did have zip ties in my jacket pocket. I had just finished securing the three men when I heard thumps and shouts upstairs. I smiled. HQ had arrived. Just in time to help with cleanup.

Adam was first down the ladder, sliding the same way I had. He spun, saw me, saw my accomplishment, and for the second time, lost control of himself.

“What the
hell
were you thinking, coming here?” He launched himself across the room so fast I lurched back, away from him. He caught me as I tripped over Charles’ legs, still yelling. “He would have killed you. Like Summer. Like Scarengio and Paselteur and all those people at the Mall the other day. Do you know what that would have done to me?”

“No.”

That shut him up. His hands on my shoulders eased. “What?”

My heart swelled, and for the first time, I felt free and full of hope. I’d spent years sipping at happiness, wrapping myself in shields, afraid to open up and let someone in. Let
him
in. I told myself he was my mentor, my leader, a guy who cared about everyone equally, because I was too afraid of the pain if I took down those shields and risked losing.

But not anymore. I’d endured the worst, thanks to Charles, and won.

“No, I don’t know what that would have done to you, Adam. Because you’ve refused to tell me.”

He buried his hands in my hair to hold my head still and stared into my eyes with his burning blue ones. His emotions were so intense I could feel them, even without being able to see them.

Normal
. This was how normal women felt, if they were lucky enough to have an Adam.

“I love you, Daley. I love your bravery and the way you learn and grow even when you balk because you might fail. I love how determined you are to take care of me because you think I’m too busy taking care of everybody else.” His hands tightened. “And I both love and hate that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for the rest of us.”

My eyes prickled. I blinked fast, but it was too late. A tear spilled over my cheek, and I swiped at it before wrapping my hand around his wrist, almost afraid he’d let go. “Where did that come from? I thought you’d just back off again.”

He shook his head and swept his thumb across my cheekbone. “I’m done letting fear rule me.” He let his right hand drop to the small of my back and eased my body to him before lowering his head. His mouth touched mine reverently, then with need, then with passion. He devoured me, and I fed on him, clutching him tighter and tighter, almost weeping with relief and joy.

Slowly, we became aware of where we were and what we still had to do. Adam rested his forehead on mine but didn’t release me.

“Say you’ll be with me,” he whispered. “Don’t leave HQ. Don’t leave me. We can—”

“Shhh.” I pressed my fingers on his mouth. “I can admit it now, too. I’ve loved you longer than I knew, for all the reasons you just said. I was afraid that if we allowed it, I’d lose HQ, and I never needed anything as much as I needed that.”

He raised his head, frowning. “You’re not afraid of that anymore?”

How could I be, with the trials we’d faced and the admissions we’d made? Charles had taken something irreplaceable when he killed Summer, but he had given me something, too. Wasn’t that always how it worked?

“No,” I said, with conviction. “I’m not afraid anymore.”

Chapter 22

The police took over after that, making arrests, finding a CASE roster lying in plain sight—or so Kirby said—on a table in the main living room. Kirby and Trace left together, barely noticing that Adam hadn’t let go of me the entire hour and a half we dealt with the police.

I didn’t think we’d make it back to my apartment. The tension humming off him was palpable, and from the moment his mouth had touched mine, I’d wanted him. The need grew with every brush of his hand on my shoulder or bump of our hips, and if he hadn’t been driving, our first time together would have been all back-seat fumble, no finesse.

But Adam said he didn’t want that, and neither did I. Sex with Evan had been about escape and pleasure and mutual need. It could have happened anywhere with the same result. This was, had to be, different. This was hearts and minds and lives merging, after months of longing and loving from a distance.

This was
Adam
.

He didn’t touch me as I opened the apartment door and we automatically checked the whole apartment for intruders or signs someone had been there. The immediate threat might be over, but that didn’t mean everyone knew it.

We met at the doorway to my bedroom. I hesitated, my gaze on the bed, and Adam slid his arms around my waist. Without me saying, he seemed to know.

“Do you want to go to my place instead?”

I looked up, into his hot blue eyes, and shook my head. “I can’t wait. And the past will never go away. It’s okay. It led me here.” I leaned into his body, craving him. “I don’t have any regrets.”

“I do.” I could barely hear his words and didn’t care if I did, his mouth was so close. “I have a lot of regrets. But they don’t matter anymore.” He closed the fractional distance between us. This kiss was nothing like the ones in his kitchen and Charles’ living room. Gone was the desperation, the pain. There was hunger, but it was the kind you feel after a single day of not eating because you knew you were getting a spectacular meal at the end, and you wanted to savor it. We helped each other undress, kicking aside piles of protective suits and old jeans and T-shirts. Adam guided me onto the bed, settling next to me as his hands stroked me all over. I reveled in the unbroken silk of his skin, in the familiar scent of him and the unfamiliar taste. He groaned quietly when I tasted his shoulder, his neck, and I cried out when his hands found my breasts and his tongue the spot behind my earlobe.

We touched forever, learning each other’s bodies, a cliché I’d never cared for but finally embraced. I wanted to know everything about Adam, from the amazingly golden expanse of his skin to the sound of his heartbeat and the stroke of his tongue and the way his breath caught when I finally touched him.

He stilled when I ran my fingertips up his length. He was hot and hard, and I shuddered when I wrapped my hand around him and imagined him inside me. The slow ache that had been building surged. I swelled and moaned, wanting him to touch me, and then he was, his long fingers stroking, dipping, rubbing, testing. I licked my hand and rubbed it up and down his erection. The arm around my back tightened so we pressed tighter together. He started to roll, to put me on top, but I wanted him closer to me and resisted.

“This way,” I murmured, reversing the roll until he rose over me and settled between my legs.

He looked down at me, and for a moment, I thought something had changed. I thought I could see the deep plum of real love. Then I realized it had grown dark outside, the fading light through my curtains casting shadows over Adam’s face. I blinked, disoriented and uncertain, and he immediately dropped his mouth onto mine.

“Stop,” he said when he’d kissed away all my doubt. “You don’t have to wonder what I feel anymore. I’ll tell you. Every day.”

“Starting now?” I ran my hands up his back, pressing until he lay on top of me.

“Starting an hour ago.” The next kiss was tender, clinging. “I love you, Daley.”

Again. Gentle. Passion held in check, obvious in the tightness of his back and his thighs between mine, his focus on the words and their meaning rather than the physical evidence of them. “I will love you forever.”

“I love you, too, Adam.” I cradled his face in my hands so I could meet his eyes and make sure he knew I meant it. “You have all of me. Nothing held back. No fear.” Even as I said the words other, darker things protested them.

Adam wasn’t my whole world, couldn’t be. Specters of past mistakes and anticipation of future horrors lurked, seeking a gap they could squeeze through. But I fought them off. They were for tomorrow, or next week. They couldn’t be allowed in here, to mar the joy we’d finally found.

I slid my hands down to Adam’s hips and he nudged me. I throbbed and opened to him, lifting my hips and panting with the need to have him inside. It had to be skin on skin, no barriers. From this moment on, I would never regret what happened between Adam and me.

He held back, and I knew he was going to ask. I shook my head and pressed upward until he’d penetrated the barest amount, the only depth I could get without his cooperation.

“Please, Adam.” The love and need and happiness welled up in me and spilled over, tears trickling out of the corners of my eyes and ridiculously into my ears. “I need you. Now, like this.
Please
.” I remembered Ian telling me I’d projected my emotions during sex. Why had that disturbed me? I
wanted
to share what I was feeling with Adam. Needed him to really know what he meant to me.

He gave in, sinking deep into me with a long sigh and burying his face in my neck. I wrapped my legs around his and thrust upward as he pushed down, and we rocked in a slow, tight rhythm, our arms wrapped around each other, our bodies closer than I’d ever thought bodies could be. I lost awareness of the temperature of the room, the color of the light, the softness of the bed or rough texture of the comforter on my back. I wanted him there, deep and hard, forever.

But it was too good, and I couldn’t hold back. The orgasm rolled up through me, out to my toes and fingers, making it impossible to hold on. I gasped and squeezed around Adam as he slid in and out. He cried out and lifted his head and shoulders, changing the angle suddenly and picking up the pace as he neared his own release. I exploded, the shock of it making my lax muscles clench. I felt my nails dig into his shoulders, my heels denting his calves, as he burst into me and I throbbed in the deepest pleasure I’d ever felt.

Slowly he relaxed, still rocking. His chest scraped over my nipples. I let out a whimper, overcome by the sensitivity of my entire body. His eyes locked on my face, seeing something I couldn’t imagine. He reached between us and pressed his thumb to my clit as he rocked and I went up again, this time hovering on a sharp, intense shard I could barely stand. I sobbed and bit his shoulder, realizing that he’d hardened again. He moved faster, rubbed harder, and I screamed a scream as long and as thin as the orgasm piercing me. He shook, groaning, and then collapsed against me. Fine tremors went through us both and I couldn’t stop crying. Adam kept stroking my hair, long, soothing strokes, but I felt raw, exposed, and even as my heart swelled with unbearable love, it ached with everything else.

I couldn’t hold the rest at bay any more. Evan, Charles, HQ, but mostly Summer, and I cried for a long time before I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Adam was still there.