Read The Codex: An Angel's Guide To Seducing A Human Online
Authors: Joe Duck
Her cheeks reddened. “Fine! Then you will just have to watch hundreds of men try to seduce me.”
Angry, I turned my back on Emily. “Then go and do it! I am sure no one will show up!”
“Fine!”
Silence rolled in, and I hugged my knees, wondering why I exploded over such a trivial matter. I clenched my fists and cringed, trying to figure out how I could apologize.
Maybe I should tell her I would line up for her.
Emily burst into a laughter. “What am I thinking? This is silly. I’m smarter than this. It’s so simple.”
I glanced back at her, relieved she had come to her senses. "You are right. There is no way you could seduce—"
There was a devious look in her eyes. She shuffled around until she was sitting on the ground in front of me with her knees pulled up to her chest. "You only said you could have angels to hug you because there’s no way to prove it."
"What? Of course not! Wait, what about you? There aren't any humans around here. You can’t prove it either."
The smile on her face widened, and she placed her hand against her chest. "You're right. So, why don't you try to seduce me?"
"Why?"
Emily spread her arms out and shrugged. "Because, in a dream I had, I seduced you with my spectacular personality, soul, and kind heart. And I even let you kiss me because you were so desperate for my affection.”
My nostrils flared as I snorted. "I’ll pass."
“Right... You’re a coward, Narius. I know for a fact that no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to make me into what you angels call a ‘mate.’”
I felt a hint of annoyance and waved my hand in dismissal. “Please. I can make you my mate any time I want.”
“Prove it! I bet you all my gold that you can't make me fall for you.”
“Fine! Let’s do it! Right now.” I rose to my feet and grabbed Emily's hand. Her soft skin warmed mine as I pulled her up.
She let out a startled humph and averted her eyes. "Th-that's it?"
"Of... of course not," I said. "We are just starting."
Help, I don't know what to do! Should I hug her now?
The Codex giggled.
My, my. Someone is getting far without me. Perhaps I should let the two of you go at each other like wild bunnies of—
Wait! I need to make Emily want to hug me and hold my hands!
Among other things, I'm sure,
the Codex cooed.
But don’t worry. The heroine is here. Follow my every word, and she'll be fawning all over you.
Just tell me what to do! Should I take my armor off to make the hug feel more comfortable?
Patience, young angel. But yes, let's start by stripping. That girl has been staring at you like a succubus, so let's give her what she wants.
I obeyed. Releasing Emily's hand, I loosened the leather straps of my armor.
Emily stared at me, her eyes wide open. "What are you doing?"
Ignoring her, I continued to remove my armor until I was down to my padded clothes, with the Codex held tightly in my hand.
Excellent, now touch your hair and look innocent.
I twirled my hair, but unsure of how to appear innocent, I clutched the book against my heart and avoided Emily’s eyes.
Don't be so coy. Show more of your body!
Following her command, I moved my hand to my back and pulled my shirt tight to show off my chest.
Emily coughed and covered her mouth. "Narius?"
The Codex's voice grew rough.
Good. Now make body contact. Gently. Pretend she is the rarest tome in the library with a mint-condition book cover.
I nodded. Taking my hand off my shirt, I wrapped my hand around Emily's waist.
She yelped as I caressed her back, the minty smell of her hair intoxicating me.
Now let her fondle your chest.
With my other hand, I guided Emily's palm to the center of my chest, letting the warmth of my body flow into her.
Emily squeezed my chest, and a soft moan slipped through my lips.
What... what now?
Now, whisper into his—I mean her—ears and compliment her.
Following the Codex’s advice, I pressed her against my chest and repeated what the human soldier had told me. "You’re the most beautiful creature I have ever seen."
Emily’s pulse quickened, and her breathing became feverish. Her soft legs brushed against mine, trembling ever so slightly. “Ha! I-I’ve already heard that. What are you trying to do? Make me laugh?”
She's lying, Narius. We are almost there. Take her finger and suck on it. Men—I mean women—love that.
I nodded and brought Emily's finger to my mouth. She tried to slip it away, but I held on. It seemed so small as I pushed her flesh into my mouth and sucked.
Pressing her body against me, she moaned and trembled.
"Does it feel weird?" I slurred.
"N-no I don't feel anything at all," she mumbled, but her scarlet face told me otherwise. “M-maybe you should try other parts.”
No, Narius. Not yet… perhaps later. Now, use your tongue.
I obeyed and wrapped my tongue around Emily's finger and licked it. “How about this?”
She writhed and pulled her finger free. "Stop!" Emily panted. She clutched at her chest with the saliva-covered finger while squeezing the fabric of her skirt with the other hand. "You win!"
I placed my hands on my hips and laughed. "I knew it! I told you I could seduce you."
Emily exhaled and, with a determined look on her face, shoved me to the ground, knocking the Codex out of my hand.
I struggled to get back up, but she straddled me, pinning me to the grass. Her eyes were devoid of reason as she unbuttoned her blouse and revealed her white undergarments.
My body sweltered at the sight of her exposed skin. "What are you—"
"Be still," Emily said as she bent down and licked my neck.
I gasped, and my wings shook from the amazing sensation. Blood rushed to my cheeks, and my chest heaved.
When she pulled back, her face was crimson and she panted for breath. "Narius, let's just go all the way. I don't know what to do exactly, but we can figure out how to do it together."
"You... you're not going to stop?"
"Not until I get what I want.” She placed her lips next to my ear and blew into it.
I squirmed as a sudden surge of pleasure overwhelmed me. “Stop... stop.” I wanted to get her off, but my hands remained immobile, betraying me.
Straightening her back, Emily’s blue eyes stared down at me. “Really? Do you want me to stop?”
My wings became damp with sweat from my body as I struggled to catch my breath. “No. Yes? I... I don’t know. Are you going to spread my legs and ravage me?”
Emily placed her hands on my cheeks. “You’re too cute. Tell me to stop again, and I will, but not before a kiss. There might be no unicorns, roses or even a sunset. But you are worth it, Narius.” She closed her eyes and lowered her lips towards mine.
Shutting my eyes, I prepared myself for whatever she would do to me.
However, at the last moment, her muscles slackened and her lips landed on my nose.
I let out a muffled cry and rolled Emily's limp body off me.
Unfazed by the tumble, Emily rested her head against my shoulder and snored, as if she was sleeping all along.
What... what happened?
I stared at the night sky and tried to control my breathing.
Emily hugged my arm and drooled on it. "Hehe. Narius, you're so stupid. Unicorns can't fly. Now bring me flowers."
Feeling confused, I wiggled my arm free, then noticed a small dart sticking out of her back. I pulled it out. The tip oozed with a green liquid.
"God, that was awful," a high-pitched female voice whispered.
Alarmed, I summoned my halberd and drifted my eyes across the forest to find the source of the voice.
"What? I wish my wife would do that to me," a grumpy male voice replied.
“It's always the ones who have someone who complain. Just give me another tranquilizer and let’s put that horny angel to sleep.”
Unable to pin down where the voices came from, I freed myself from Emily's grasp, kicked off the ground and flew towards the sky.
"He's flying away! Doorknob, shoot him!" the grumpy voice cried out.
With a twang and a zap, a dart shot out from a raspberry bush. I swiped at a streak in the moonlight and sent it tumbling down. Spotting their general location, I flew higher into the cover of darkness. When no more bolts came after me, I circled around and swept down behind the bush that they must have been hiding in.
Without making a sound, I landed in a clearing and snuck up to the bush, taking care not to brush the leaves with my wings. There, a pair of gnomes, wearing grey outfits that blended into the night, crouched next to each other.
As if to spite the drab clothing, one of the creatures, a he-gnome, wore a long, pointy, red cone on his head, and carried a basket filled with crossbow bolts on his back. The other, a she-gnome, wore a yellow beret and held a tiny crossbow.
“Did we get him?” the he-gnome asked as I crept closer.
“Yup. I don’t see him up there anymore. Must have crashed, all thanks to my deadeye.”
“Somebody's humble.”
The she-gnome tapped her crossbow. “I try.”
“Right. Enough lollygagging. Let's take the human girl.”
Though the two gnomes only came up to my thigh, they looked like trouble. So, I took a careful step towards them, only to immediately snap a twig under my boot.
The two creatures twirled around to face me, and, with the element of surprise gone, I sprinted towards them.
The he-gnome backed away and pointed at me, his finger trembling. "Doorknob! Shoot him!"
The she-gnome raised her crossbow and fired. The poisoned bolt flew past my wing and struck the tree next to me as I tackled her.
She growled and swung her crossbow at my face.
I blocked the attack and slapped the weapon aside, sending it flying into the woods.
Unfazed by her defeat, Doorknob tried to punch me. But I grabbed her by the wrist and hoisted her up into the air. "Why are you doing this?"
Instead of answering, she kicked me in the chest. "Shovelface, the flare!”
The other gnome fumbled, took out a small wooden stick, and pointed it at the sky. I moved my other foot to kick the stick away, but with a loud metallic snap, the stick exploded, and a bright star shot up into the sky, turning the night into day.
The light blasted its rays down on me, and I shielded my eyes.
"Fartbasket, Horseface, Yellowsnow, Pimplehair! Come to me, my forest friends!" Shovelface shouted.
I smashed the blunt side of my halberd against the other gnome's stomach and knocked him down, then stepped on the tiny creature to pin him against the ground.
“Who sent you?” I asked the she-gnome, while maintaining my pressure on Shovelface.
“Your mother.”
The grip in my hand loosened. “What?”
Doorknob sank her teeth into my hand.
I yelped and dropped her, only for the she-gnome to bounce off the ground and spring right back up, head-butting me in the chin.
I staggered backwards, allowing Shovelface to escape from under my foot.
“Now!” he screamed.
The bush around us rustled, and pain pierced my wings in several places. Confused, I glanced back and found a dozen tiny bolts impaled in them. Without warning, my body grew heavy, and I collapsed to the ground and got a mouthful of sour dirt.
My body refused to move, and my vision grew dimmer. “Why... why would Mother do this to me?”
Doorknob knelt before my eyes and grinned. “Mother? Well, looks like he isn’t the sharpest tool in the workshop.”
"Do we leave him?" Shovelface asked. "Or should we take him?"
The she-gnome kicked my ribs. "No. Mafis said we were to take the girl and no one else.”
My eyes flickered. "Mafis? He's not my mother."
The voices continued to speak, but I could not make out the words as the darkness overwhelmed me.
Narius—ten years ago
As I lay my head and wings against the cool surface of the ivory table, a speck of dust snuck into my nostril. I pinched my nose, trying not to sneeze. But the tingling in my nose grew. I couldn’t hold it any longer, and I let myself go. Spit flew everywhere, and the sound of my sneeze rang through the Great Library.
Archangel Maeriediana frowned, wiping away the spit on her check.
With her eyes glued to the book of demonology, she flicked me in the forehead. “Narius.”
The pain snapped me to attention. “Yes, archangel! What book should I find next?”
“What is the most important duty of every angel?” she asked without taking her eyes from the book.
“To gather and preserve knowledge!”