Authors: Lisa Becker
No “bcc” here.
From: Shelley Manning – October 14, 2011 – 12:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Tomorrow Night
Darn!
From: Renee Greene – October 14, 2011 – 1:30 PM
Subject: Re: Tomorrow Night
Fill in the blanks…
When I get back, I can’t wait to put my
From: [email protected] – October 14, 2011 – 1:35 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Tomorrow Night
ZING! I’m in an inter-company meeting right now. Thank god I’m sitting at the conference table. Where is a cold shower when I need one? See you in a few hours.
p.s. I’m going to
From: Renee Greene – October 14, 2011 – 1:38 PM
Subject: Re: Tomorrow Night
ZING!
From: Renee Greene – October 14, 2011 – 4:07 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: EW!
Thank GOD for inflight WiFi!
The CREEPIEST thing just happened to me. So I’m exhausted, absolutely exhausted from a week of trade show madness. Ethan is picking me up from the airport tonight and after the racy fill-in-the-blank I sent him, (Thanks by the way. I channeled my inner Shelley and it was an erotic masterpiece, if I do say so myself!) I know tonight is going to be THE night.
I get on the plane and sit in my usual aisle seat as close to an exit as possible. Yes, I know. I’m paranoid and crazy. Flying is the safest mode of transportation, blah, blah, blah. It’s an irrational fear, but I’ve embraced it wholeheartedly. But I digress. There is no one in my row, so I tilt my seat back, stuff my pillow onto the seat next to me and promptly fall asleep.
Apparently, we take off from LaGuardia, land in Philly, take off from Philly and I’m still sound asleep. I slowly awake, yawn and stretch to find a strange little man sitting next to me in the window seat. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, he boarded in Philly and CRAWLED over me into his seat.
He is leaning over the middle seat staring at me. And in a squeaky, high pitched voice says, “You’ve been asleep for a loooonnnng time.” I reply, “Why, yes, I have.” And he says, “You have really long eyelashes.” EW! I explained that I have a tremendous amount of work I need to do prior to landing in LA and have buried myself in my laptop click clacking away furiously to you. EW! EW! EW!
But, thoughts of Ethan are dancing in my head and I can’t wait for tonight. There is something truly special about this guy. I’ve never felt this way. Not even with Derrick.
From: Shelley Manning – October 14, 2011 – 4:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Ew!
Oh sweetie. I’m so happy for you. Not happy that some squeaky little man was getting his jollies watching your eyelashes flutter up and down as you slept. But happy that you are so content in this relationship. Now let’s just hope the chemistry in the bedroom lives up to expectations. Can’t wait to hear the details. Safe travels, sweetie! Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – October 14, 2011 – 5:53 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: EW!
Thanks. I’ve been asked to shut down since we are preparing for landing. My little squeaky friend is giddy with excitement, as he realizes I’ll be a captive audience for the next 25 minutes. Lord help me!
From: Shelley Manning – October 16, 2011 – 9:53 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: DETAILS, PLEASE
Welcome home. How was the trade show? How was your homecoming, or should I say homeCOMING? If it was anything like my homecoming from El Camino High, you had a FANTASTIC night. ;)
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 10:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: DETAILS, PLEASE
I’m telling you, we pretty much jumped each other the moment we opened the door. It lasted for less than five minutes! I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Finally, I meet the man of my dreams and he just can’t keep it going. He was totally embarrassed and said that I had just gotten him so turned on with my risqué mad lib – and the fact that we waited so long to finally do it – he just couldn’t help but explode. We waited about a half hour, did it again, and it was WONDERFUL. He’s WONDERFUL. Life is WONDERFUL.
As we lay in bed together, we started talking about all sorts of things and then had “the talk.” Very interesting. I told him about all of my sexual conquests – all 4 of them including Surfer Dave from the dorm who I slept with on the first night of college just to lose my virginity. I also told him about Derrick. Don’t worry. I didn’t go into horrible details like I do with you. I just explained that I thought we were in love and on our three-year anniversary instead of proposing, he told me that he didn’t see marriage in our future and it was probably better to end things.
He confided that he’s been with 9 women and had two serious relationships as follows:
-
Sex with two girls in high school – one the night of the prom. Two flings in college including a one night stand after a sorority formal.
-
One serious girlfriend in college that ended when they both went off to grad school. She’s now a married dermatology resident in Brooklyn and they are still friends.
-
A short-lived relationship with a performance artist in the village, which he says still gives him nightmares.
-
One serious relationship with a woman named Katarina that he used to work with. He thought she could be the one and then he found out she was cheating on him. So, he got a job transfer to the LA branch, but still had to deal with her. So, he quit and found another job.
-
A little fling in LA with some chick he met at work. But, he knew they just weren’t right for each other and didn’t want to make the same mistake of being involved with someone at work and have it turn out badly.
-
And me!
Actually, not a bad little run for him, huh?
From: Shelley Manning – October 16, 2011 – 12:05 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: DETAILS, PLEASE
Very respectable numbers…for an amateur. Ha! Just kidding. So glad things are going well. So, when do I get to meet him/judge him/mock him?
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 12:06 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: DETAILS, PLEASE
Soon enough, my friend. Soon enough.
From: [email protected] – October 16, 2011 – 12:10 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Long time, no talk
Hi Renee. Hope you are doing well. We just wrapped up our tour and I’m heading to LA for a while. I know last time we spoke, you decided it would be best to just be “friends.” And I totally get it. But, I also don’t give up that easily. Maybe we could have dinner and talk. I hope to hear from you soon.
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 1:45 PM
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Jason, so great to hear from you. Congrats on finishing the tour. I imagine you are exhausted. So, what opportunity is bringing you to LA? Working on a cool project or collaboration? I would love to get caught up. Give me a call when you’re in town.
From: [email protected] – October 16, 2011 – 2:09 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Actually, not to freak you out or anything, but what’s bringing me to LA is you. Since I have the chance to be in the same place for a while before we start work on a new album in Austin, I thought we might take our “just friends” and see if we could make it “friendlier.”
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 2:15 PM
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Wow! That’s so sweet. I don’t really know what to say. Well, I do know what to say. I should tell you that I have been seeing someone for the past couple of months and things are going really well. You would really like him. He’s a great guy. Maybe we could all meet up for dinner.
From: [email protected] – October 16, 2011 – 2:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Of course you met someone and of course things are going well. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part. And as much as I would like to see you, I don’t really want to meet the “great guy” you’re seeing.
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 2:25 PM
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Of course. I’m sorry. I’m just not very good at this stuff.
From: [email protected] – October 16, 2011 – 2:28 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
No worries. I hope he makes you happy. You deserve it.
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 2:30 PM
Subject: Re: Long time, no talk
Thanks Jason. Good luck to you too.
From: Renee Greene – October 16, 2011 – 2:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!?!?
OMG! You will NEVER believe who just emailed me. Never, never, ever!
From: Shelley Manning – October 17, 2011 – 8:56 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Sorry. Rest of the weekend got CRAZY. Friday was a major company meeting, followed by a company dinner, followed by a company guy that lasted until the wee hours of this morning. From now on, he will be known as Marathon Man. Anyway, I’m curious to know who emailed you. Queen Elizabeth? Elton John? Justin Beiber? Who, damit, who?
From: Renee Greene – October 17, 2011 – 9:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Jason!
From: Shelley Manning – October 17, 2011 – 9:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Jason….???
From: Renee Greene – October 17, 2011 – 9:19 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Kite! Jason Kite just emailed me.
From: Shelley Manning – October 17, 2011 – 9:19 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Whoa!
From: Renee Greene – October 17, 2011 – 9:22 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Yeah, and get this. He is thinking of coming to LA for a “while” because of me.
From: Shelley Manning – October 17, 2011 – 9:24 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Really?!? Things are getting VERY interesting! What did you say?
From: Renee Greene – October 17, 2011 – 9:31 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Disbelief…Total Disbelief!
Well, what could I say? I mean things with Ethan are still in the “new” stage, but they are going great. I don’t want to do anything to mess that up. But I must say it sure was flattering to have a talented, famous and totally hot rock star want to move to LA for little ol’ me. So, I told him that I was seeing someone and he wished me luck and happiness.