The Christmas Train (15 page)

Kristobal had already fled before Merryweather screamed. Eleanor and Tom raced the other way and hid around the corner. They heard frantic banging on the door, and then it flew open and Gordon Merryweather ran out. He fell, picked himself up, fell again, and then half-rolled and half-crawled down the hall. As soon as he was out of sight, Tom coaxed the snake back into the chest quite easily and passed it off to Kristobal. The poor reptile seemed traumatized by the sight of the paunchy lawyer in his indigo-blue skivvies.

Next, Tom and Eleanor raced off and caught up with the frantic Merryweather. When he turned, Eleanor let out a loud scream and covered her eyes. “That’s him.”

“There’s a thing, a snake, enormous in my room,” yelled Merryweather. He grabbed Tom’s sleeve. “I’ll show you. It’s—it’s terrible. It almost killed me.”

“A snake, on the train?” said Tom skeptically.

Regina came running up. “Now what’s going on?”

Tom said, “This guy claims there’s a snake in his room. That it almost attacked him.” Out of Merryweather’s line of sight, he gave her a wink. Regina caught the meaning immediately.

Eleanor said, “I saw this man running by half-naked. I think he looked in on me. I got this gentleman to come with me to see if we could catch him.”

“What?” said Regina. “You mean, like a Peeping Tom?”

“Yes. It was terrifying. I thought he was completely naked.” Eleanor groaned and shuddered with the aplomb of a trained actress.

“So that’s what the other passengers have been complaining about,” said Regina. She turned to the stricken lawyer. “Just what in God’s name do you think you’re doing? You think because you’re some big-shot you can run around nearly naked and peep in on women and scare them? Do you? Well if you do, let me tell you, you don’t want to mess around with Amtrak. And when we get to Chicago, you’re going to find out why not.”

Merryweather sputtered, “I... I...”

Tom pulled out a notepad and pen. “Is that Merryweather just like it sounds? And can I get the exact name of your law firm?”

“There was a snake in my room,” wailed Merryweather. “I’m no streaker. I’m not a pervert.”

“ Streakerand pervert , those were exactly the words I was looking for,” said Tom as he wrote furiously.

“I’ll show you, I’ll show you.” Merryweather pulled them down the hallway to his compartment—as it turned out, his completely empty compartment.

Merryweather yelled, “It was here, I swear. At least I think it was.”

“Were you sleeping?” asked Eleanor.

“Well, yes, and then the light woke me up.”

“Maybe you left the light on, fell asleep, and you just dreamed about a snake. Did you ever think of that?” said Eleanor.

Merryweather looked at her with an expression that said, no, he hadn’t really thought of that.

Regina said, “You’ve disrupted this whole train. I’m calling the conductor. He’ll probably want to turn you over to the police in Pittsburgh.”

“No, no!” screamed Merryweather. “That will ruin my reputation, my law practice.”

“You should have thought about that before you started running around scaring people with those skinny marshmallow legs,” said Tom.

“Please, please, I’ll do anything. Anything.”

Regina, Eleanor, and Tom looked at each other.

“Well, it is Christmas,” said Tom, after a lengthy silence broken only by the whimpering litigation virtuoso.

Regina tapped her foot and, giving Merryweather a look of immense disgust, pointed her finger in his face. “Okay, fine, it’s late and I’m tired. But let me tell you one thing, lawyer man, if I ever have one more moment’s trouble with you ever , your butt is in the fire, you understand me? This all comes out, you got it?”

“Absolutely, absolutely.” He looked pitifully at Tom and his notepad.

Tom very slowly put it back in his pocket. “Okay, but just because it is Christmas. But remember, I can write this story at any time, and I’ve got witnesses. Okay?”

“Yes, yes, I understand. Okay.”

Regina snapped, “Now get some clothes on.”

Merryweather raced inside his compartment and slid the door shut.

“Okay,” said Regina, as she ceremoniously tapped Tom and Eleanor on the shoulders, “you’re now officially honorary members of the Capitol Limited Club. I don’t know exactly how you brought that man down, but I’ve been waiting a long time to see it.”

“Hey,” said Tom, “all you need is a boa constrictor, some accomplices, and a twelve-million-pound train, mix, and bake.”

A bit later Regina located the owners of the snake and returned it, with instructions to keep it under wraps for the rest of the trip and to say nothing about its presence on the train.

As Tom and Eleanor walked back to their compartments, he chuckled. “That felt like old times. Remember all the practical jokes we pulled when we were overseas and things were slow and we were bored?”

“No, I remember all the practical jokes you played. And I don’t remember being bored very much. Overstimulated was more like it.”

He stopped and so did Eleanor. “Come on, you have to admit, it was great, wasn’t it?”

“It was different,” was as far as Eleanor would go.

He said hesitantly, “You know, I’m taking this trip not just for my dad, but to sort of find out where I’m supposed to be going with my life.”

“Let me guess: You’re leaning more toward Yemen than Duncan Phyfe.”

“I guess it’s in some people’s blood to roam. I could never be happy looking at the same four walls all the time.”

“Or the same person inside those four walls.”

“Look, are you telling me you didn’t have the time of your life doing what we did?”

“It was fine, for a while. Then it wasn’t fine anymore.”

“Fine! I can count on one hand the number of people who’ve gotten to do and see what we did. Look at the stories you have to tell your kids and grandkids.”

“I don’t have either.”

“If it was so damn bad, why’d you stick it out for so long?”

“You know what they say, love makes you do crazy things.”

“I still don’t know what went wrong. It’s not like I suddenly changed.”

“No, Tom, you never changed. I guess I did. Goodnight.”

“Ellie...”

She turned back. “It’s Eleanor now, Eleanor. That changed too.”

Tom went back to the lounge car and sat miserably watching the country drift by. The Cap picked up water in Pittsburgh, but Tom didn’t call Lelia because while he could deal with snakes and pompous lawyers, he wasn’t brave enough to deal with the voice of Cuppy the Magic Beaver when she felt wronged. He tried not to think about Eleanor, so of course, that was all he thought about. The Cap had made up some time, but it was still over two hours late. Tom finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

At five-thirty in the morning, the PA came on, and Tyrone’s voice greeted him. “Good morning to you, good morning to you, there’s so much to do, good morning to you. Thankyou, thankyouverymuch.” And then he announced that the train was officially late, but that breakfast was hot and on time and came with a medley of Elvis holiday favorites at no extra charge.

Tom used the larger shower facilities on the lower level, having to wait behind another passenger. The man left his watch in the changing room, but Tom saw it and returned it before the man had gone far. In the dining car he had breakfast with Father Kelly, who was in good spirits despite the loss of his cross. He did lower his voice and asked Tom if he had by chance seen a naked, hysterical man on the train. Tom disclaimed any knowledge of that odd event and gently suggested the priest needed to get more rest.

They watched daylight come as they pulled into Toledo, where the train took on more water. Later, in the vast fields of northern Indiana, Tom watched from the lounge car as a horse and sleigh carried a family through the falling snow. It was as picturesque as any holiday card he’d ever seen, and it reminded him of a very special day he and Eleanor had shared years before.

They’d skied many of the most challenging slopes of Europe. In Austria, though, they’d taken a break from hurtling down mountains and, instead, had hired a sleigh and driver and taken a wonderful, all-day journey over the most pristine snow-covered land either of them had ever seen. They’d eaten lunch by a cheery fire at an honest-to-goodness castle, then ridden back under a full moon. It was a day never to be forgotten, or perhaps equaled. Or repeated. Clearly, he wouldn’t be taking any more sleigh rides with the woman.

The Cap finally arrived in Chicago at eleven-thirty in the morning Central time, after serving passengers an extra meal for being late. The train uncoupled its mail and express cars, then slowly backed into the station. Tom came down with his bags, thanked Regina, and gave her a generous tip.

“I believe I should be paying you,” she said, and they shared a hug. “I’ll introduce you to my mom in the station lounge later, before the Chief heads out.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting her if she’s anything like you.”

Tom saw Herrick Higgins getting off farther down. He pointed him out to Regina. “He’s a really interesting guy. Too bad he had to retire. He really loves trains.”

Regina said, “Herrick didn’t retire, he was laid off. Budget cuts, him and two hundred other managers. It’s a shame. That man knows more about trains than anybody. He rides the train at his own expense. If we have room, we let him bunk in the dormitory car with us. It’s sad, real sad.”