The Christmas Secret (4 page)

“I know but my mom wants to take us to a huge outlet mall an hour away to start shopping for Christmas.”

I felt a pain at the back of my head. “I don't know anyone else to call. That's why I set this up with you a long time ago.”

She opened the door. “I'm really sorry. My mom said it's the only day she can take us before Christmas.”

She closed the door and I yanked open the kitchen drawer, pulling out wads of coupons and miscellaneous notes. “I
cannot
believe this!” I said, yelling up to the ceiling. I swore at that moment that I'd never use Allie again but I knew my hands were tied. A stack of bills sat by the phone and I flung them to the floor. I couldn't even bear the sight of them. I found the scribbled note I was looking for and dialed the number. “Hi, Elaine, this is Christine Eisley. We met at Patterson's when you came in a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, sure, hi,” she said.

“You said to call you if I ever needed your daughter to babysit and I need someone at ten thirty in the morning.”

“I'll check with her and have her call you back.”

I hung up and tried to take a deep breath. I stepped back onto a stuffed toy and kicked it out of the way. “Zach! Haley!”

“Coming,” Zach said.

I waited a second but didn't hear the bedroom door open. “Now, now, now!” I shouted, storming into the living room. “Get out here right now!” I hated myself for taking my anger out on them. Zach and Haley ran down the hall to the living room and I pointed at the toys on the floor. “Put all of these away.”

Haley held up her stuffed dog to me. “Genevieve did it.”

“I don't care who did it,” I said, my voice quivering. “Get these toys out of here!”

They started to gather the toys in their arms and carry them down the hall. I wanted to go to them and apologize for yelling but I couldn't. I was frustrated and weary and unable to move. Time and again I find myself fighting and scraping to keep my head above water and have been ready to give the whole thing up. I have told myself that the kids would be better off somewhere else with someone who can provide everything they need. I am barely equipped to take care of myself, let alone two other people whose lives depend on me. I have questioned if I am doing the right thing or making the best decisions. So many times I have felt like a babe in the woods the way I kept getting lost on the wrong roads, and my bad decisions still affected me . . . and my kids. They deserved better. I knew that. The doorbell rang and I moved to the door, trying to peer out the window. I could see the top of a man's head but didn't know who it was.

“Hello,” I said through the door.

“Christy.” I stopped at the sound of his voice. Brad always called me Christy and I detested that name.

My jaw tightened. What was he doing here? I did
not
want to deal with him right now. “What?”

His tone was kind. “Could you open the door?”

I yanked it open and stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind me before the kids heard anything. I had left my coat inside and folded my arms to keep warm. Brad
hadn't shaved in days and dark brown hair spread over his face. He was wearing a gray knit cap and a denim jacket with black motorcycle boots. He tried hard to look cool but it never worked for him. “What are you doing here?”

“I want to see the kids.”

“Then pay child support.” I was so sick of this same conversation.

“I'm supposed to see them this weekend.”

“Technically, yes,” I said, keeping my voice low so the kids wouldn't hear. “But there's that issue of child support again.”

He smiled. “Come on, Christy. They're my kids.”

I hated his tone and his smile and the smell of his aftershave. “If you had any desire to see those kids you'd do everything in your power to provide for them but you don't. I provide for them, Brad. Me!” I was shivering and turned to go back inside.

“Um, I called earlier and some little girl told me you were working late. I asked if the kids had eaten and she said no. Have they eaten anything yet?”

I hated him. My mother constantly told me not to talk to him. “You do
not
have to talk to him,” she would say. “Don't answer the door or pick up the phone.” My back broke out in perspiration and I turned to look at him.

“Your hours bother me,” he said. “I just don't see how it's possible to take care of our children.”

Something pressed hard against my chest. “They stopped
being
our
children when you walked away!” I said. I realized I was shouting and I lowered my voice again.

I could see him smiling and he lit a cigarette. “This isn't right. A little girl shouldn't be raising our children.”

Brad was constantly taking me back into court for any reason. Tears burned my eyes. I had learned a long time ago that no one was home in his soul. I stepped closer to him. “Don't threaten me! Don't you even threaten me!”

“Don't you try to keep my kids from me.” He turned his back to me and walked toward his car.

“You haven't paid a dime in six months. I don't have to let them see you.”

I heard him laugh. “Yes, you do,” he said.

I stepped inside the house and slammed the door. When I was a little girl I wanted to get married, become a teacher, have children, and live out my days in a sweet, perfect little house where joy rang out from the walls. Dreams like that die hard.

“What's wrong, Mom?” Haley asked, standing in the hallway. Zach was next to her. I couldn't answer. Words lodged in my throat.

“Mom, are you mad?” Zach asked.

My breath was shallow and I could feel the heat in my face. “Yes,” I said, falling into the sofa.

“At us?” Zach asked. I shook my head. “Something happen at work?”

I shook my head again. “Go get ready for bed,” I said, trying to find my voice.

“I'm hungry,” Haley said.

I looked up at her and tried to smile. “Get ready for bed, then come out for something.”

“Can we eat first?” Zach asked.

I spoke through my teeth. “Zach, don't argue with me tonight.” I heard them turn and tiptoe down the hall. Tears dripped on to my hands. It was too much. The boulder in the road was getting bigger every day.

 

 

 

 

Jason walked the few blocks to Wilson's that morning. After making a call to his headhunter he knew there wasn't an accounting job on the horizon. He'd just have to suck it up and work “on the floor” for a few weeks. Jason opened the front door and his feet slipped beneath him. “Careful!” Debbie shouted, trying to block the watery path. “We've sprung a leak.”

Jason looked above him. “That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.”

“I've tried to call for maintenance but my intercom isn't working up here. Would you mind telling them that I need help?”

Jason walked to the office and threw open the door. Judy waved her hands in the air and clapped them together. “So is it official? Are you on the clock?”

“I guess so,” he said.

Marshall stepped down from his office. “Judy, could you show Jason where the time clock and break room are?”

Jason flinched. He'd never thought of himself as a time clock kind of guy. Judy brushed crumbs of pastry off her “Happiness Is a Hug from your Grandchild” sweatshirt and banged her hands together again. “Isn't this exciting? Come on, handsome.”

She opened the door and Jason looked back at Marshall. “Oh. Some lady at the front needs help. The roof is leaking.”

“Not again,” Judy said, crossing to the phone. “Which lady was it, love?”

Jason thought for a moment. “The one at the very front of the store.”

“Was it the woman who helped with your suitcase yesterday?” Marshall asked.

“I think so,” Jason said.

Marshall rolled his eyes at Judy. How difficult was it to recall if it was the same woman? Judy called maintenance for help and led Jason out of the office and down the stairs toward the break room. “Everyone clocks in here,” she said, pushing open the door to an empty room filled with vending machines and three small round tables with chairs. She handed him his card.

He took the card and punched in for the day, hating the sound the machine made. “How have you done this for twenty-seven years, Judy?”

“I stopped clocking in twenty-six years ago,” she said, laughing. He followed her out of the room and up the stairs.
“You'll be working in menswear today. Matt is the floor supervisor and he'll help you out.” She led him into the department and waved at a man standing in front of a mannequin that was dressed in jeans and a sweater.

“Is that the floor supervisor?” Jason asked. “How old is he?” He was annoyed at the thought of answering to someone his age or younger.

“I'm not sure. He's married with a little boy.” She clapped Jason on the back. “Jason, this is Matt.”

Matt extended his hand. “Marshall's told me all about you. Glad you can help out.”

Judy blew a kiss in the air toward both of them. “I'm headed out for supplies. You boys be good!”

Jason's phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket to read the text message. He smiled and put it back in his pocket.

“Text message?” Matt asked.

Jason nodded. “From my girlfriend. Well, sort of my girlfriend.”

“Phones aren't allowed on the sales floor,” Matt said, walking toward a display. “Marshall has no patience for texting or cell phones in general.”

“I don't think he'd mind if I sent a quick text here and there,” Jason said.

Matt laughed, shaking his head. “Whatever you say,” he said. “Why don't you work on stripping all of the displays
in this department? New clothes are laid out on the counter there for each one.” Jason watched him talk. Did he just ask him to strip down a mannequin? Jason turned to see the pile of clothes. “When you're done with that,” Matt said, “there's lots of inventory we need to unload in the back.”

Jason stepped to the first mannequin and unzipped the jeans. He couldn't believe what he was doing.

 

Elaine's daughter Mira arrived right at ten twenty-five. I opened the door and she leaned down toward Haley, smiling. “Hi, Haley! Are you ready to play?” I loved her!

“They can have mac and cheese for lunch,” I said, slinging my purse over my shoulder. “Don't let them eat a bunch of junk. There's some grapes, apples, and cheese in the fridge. Or peanut butter's in the cabinet next to the stove.” I yelled down the hall toward Zach's bedroom, “Mira's here, Zach, and I'm headed to work.” I kissed Haley and walked out to my car.

I turned the key and put the car in reverse when I saw a vehicle come to a stop at the end of the driveway. “What are you doing?” I said to myself, watching the car. I waited a moment but the car stayed there, blocking my driveway. “Come on!” I shouted, looking out the back window. I honked my horn and waited. I honked again and inched my car closer to the car so the driver could take the hint. Obviously, the driver didn't get the point at all. I threw my car in
park and jumped out. As I walked around the front of the driver's car I could see it was a woman and she was slumped onto the steering wheel. For a brief moment I wondered if it was someone pulling a prank. I tapped on her window. “Hey!” I shouted. “Hello!” My heart raced and I knocked louder. She didn't move.

I opened her door and reached out to touch her shoulder. “Ma'am,” I said. I found myself shouting at her. “Are you okay?” Her head flopped back on the driver's headrest and my body jerked in response. I ran for my car and threw open the door, grabbing my purse. I fumbled through it looking for my phone before dumping the contents on the driveway. Where were the other cars on the road? Why was it so quiet? Where was Mrs. Meredith? She was always home! I snatched up the phone, flipping it open. It slipped out of my hand onto the concrete and the battery snapped off and slid under my car. “Oh, God,” I said, trying to reach the battery. “I need help here,” I said, scrambling to my feet. I couldn't run for the house; it would take too much time. “Mira!” I screamed, hoping she'd hear me. I reached the woman's door and pulled her from the car. I could hear my heart in my ears as I fumbled for the pulse on her neck. “Ma'am,” I said, shaking her shoulders. I hadn't done CPR since health class in high school and my hands shook. I tilted her head back and began chest compressions. “Help me,” I said, pressing my mouth to hers.

Mira saw me from the living-room window and ran to my side. Haley and Zach were close behind. “Go!” I screamed, waving my arm. “Call for help and keep the kids in the house.” I continued chest compressions and the woman gasped for air. My heart boomed through my chest. “Someone's coming,” I said. My voice was ragged and thin. Her eyes remained closed and she reminded me of my grandmother.