His mouth was on hers before she could stop him, not that she would have. Cash twisted his fingers into her hair and tilted her head to give him better access. His mouth ravaged hers as if his life depended on it. He held onto her hair tightly and cupped her tit in his other hand, grazing his thumb back and forth over her nipple.
“Oh Cash,” she purred into his mouth.
He was all over her like a lion devouring its prey. Cash didn’t bother to take it slow. He put his hand up her skirt and slipped his fingers inside her panties stroking her wetness. The weight of his body pinned her down, and she felt trapped as he did what he needed to do to her body. He took his hand out of her hair and raised her free hand over her head and held it tight against the passenger door as his finger darted inside her.
She tried to move her hand to hold onto his arm, his shoulder, or anything but he held it tighter. She felt like his prisoner. Cash stopped kissing her so he could watch her writhe against his fingers as they danced in and out of her. She was even more turned on when she thought about how he was holding her down and there was little she could do as his fingers assaulted her pussy. All she could do was lay there and accept the pleasure he was offering her.
He stopped his movements just as Traci starting shaking. She had been teetering on the edge nearly ready to let herself cry out as the waves would overtake her. He raised his fingers up to his mouth and licked them, tasting her wetness, “So sweet,” he moaned as he pressed his stiff cock against her leg.
He was kissing her again, and she was overwhelmed with everything, his need and the taste of her on his mouth. Her desire was almost bubbling over at just the thought of him entering her. He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out, stroking it hard as she watched. “This is what you do to me sweetheart,” he whispered, and she raised her pussy towards him as if daring him to take it.
He used the dash to help hold himself up, so he didn’t have all of his weight on her. He spread her legs with his thighs and yanked down her panties with one hand. Cash entered her with one rough thrust and she jerked back bumping her head lightly against the door.
He pounded into her again. Then again. Until she put her hands up bracing herself so her head wouldn’t slam into the door. He rocked into her so hard it felt like the whole truck was moving across the ground sideways.
“Come for me,” he said, which sounded closer to an order and as usual she obeyed him. Traci let her orgasm rain down as she tensed her pussy around Cash’s thickness. She cried out until the threat of imploding started to diminish. Cash released as she was coming down lengthening her pleasure.
“Jesus Christ,” he murmured into her neck as he finished. Cash lifted himself off of her and helped her sit up. “You are so fucking amazing,” he said putting his cowboy hat back on to cover his eyes. This time it definitely seemed as though he was trying to hide them from Traci, but she didn’t know why.
Traci shook her head, she felt something growing inside her, something that didn’t feel very good, “You only like me because I can’t say no to you.”
“Shit, Jane, that’s not true at all,” he said taking her hand into his. “I wish things were different. I want nothing more than to be with you but you know I can’t and I won’t ask that of you.”
“Honestly Cash, it’s not your call. I mean, it is, but you didn’t care enough to see what I wanted. You just made the decision. And fine, whatever, if that’s how it is, then that’s how it is,” Traci said feeling angry. He never even gave her a chance to decide for herself about living on the road. He just told her he wouldn’t let her and that was that. She realized he was bossy even when they weren’t fucking.
“You have to trust me. There is nothing good about the life I lead.” Cash started the truck and flipped it into reverse. He drove backwards down the bumpy gravel road and backed out onto the country road. He turned down the road that led to his trailer.
“Why don’t you take me back to town, you’re done with me,” Traci said even though she was conflicted. She didn’t know why she was making a big deal about it. She hadn’t really given life on the road any real thought, she didn’t know if that’s even what she would have wanted. Traci was just frustrated that he’d decided for her, even if it was probably the right one.
“Come to the trailer, we can talk, please,” he begged.
“Whatever,” she said and crossed her arms. She wasn’t sure there was any point in talking about it, other than to dwell on what would never be. She watched the shadows pass by the passenger window as they drove back to Cash’s trailer.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Traci couldn’t help herself from looking towards Sawyers house. She noticed his truck was parked in front as Cash drove passed towards the trailer at the rear of the property. Traci felt that strange feeling in her stomach again. Cash jerked the truck to a stop and dashed out to open her door. He took her hand and led her inside.
He brought her to the couch and waited until she sat down, “You want something to drink or anything?” he asked.
“I’m fine, actually, water?” Traci hoped that the water would rinse away that odd feeling in the pit of her stomach.
He came back with an ice cold glass of water and she took a sip. Cash sat down next to her. “Jane,” he started and Traci twitched, she should tell him the truth, once and for all, that would make this uncomfortable part where he rehashes why it’s over go away. Then she wouldn’t have to waste her time listening to how she was great but how he had to get back to his life and that there was no room for her in that life.
“Yes?” She held back her groan but the eye roll she couldn’t stop. Thankfully, he hadn’t noticed.
“I wish I could ask you to come with me… I want to ask you, but—”
“Always a but.”
He shook his head, “I would never forgive myself for being the reason you were miserable. Don’t you understand that I couldn’t do that to you?”
“But what if I’d be happy? I don’t think you know me well enough, to know what is or isn’t good for me!”
“I know it’s not good for me!” he said frustrated.
“Then why do it?” she asked toning down her anger.
“I don’t have a choice. I need money to live. It’s not like I have any family that I can count on or anything like that. Sawyer got nearly all of the inheritance. This… this is the only way. It’s the only thing I know,” he said looking uncomfortable as the sadness he felt dripped from his words. “I can’t help that I have feelings for you, like real feelings. It’s worse than I care to admit. I want you to be happy, it feels complicated, but it’s really just that simple.”
“But…”
“I could ask you to wait for me, but even that feels wrong.” He looked at the floor.
“It’s even more complicated than you know,” she blurted out as her thoughts drifted over to the big farmhouse.
“What do you mean?”
“I wish I knew how to say this the right way but there’s another person… another man.”
“Oh.”
“I hadn’t planned on any of this, and it’s not my fault! You left me. I thought it was just a one-night stand to you, what was I supposed to do?”
She could tell by his expression that she was right. He hadn’t intended for it to be anything more. It was his fault for letting it turn into more. And now here they were.
“Jane, I don’t know how I’ll make it through the job without thinking about how I’m coming back to you.” He looked at her and their eyes locked. She could see the pain in his eyes, but the pain wasn’t just from this conversation. She didn’t know why she hadn’t seen it before. Underneath his tough exterior and that sexy-cocky grin there was a tortured man. She realized that’s why he kept his eyes hidden so often. So no one could see the real Cash.
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything just kiss me,” he pleaded and their lips met. This kiss felt different than all the others. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was. He wrapped his arms around her as the trailer door burst open and rattled to a stop.
“Cash, you forgot to take care of the—.” He stopped abruptly when he noticed Cash was with someone, “Shit, sorry.” He started to turn away but paused. It took him a moment, but he realized he recognized the person sitting on Cash’s couch. The person Cash had his mouth pressed against. “Traci?” he asked confused.
“Huh? Traci?” Cash said looking back and forth between Traci and Sawyer. She kept her back to the door, she couldn’t turn to face him. If she did she’d burst into tears. Tears that contained every single emotion she’s been holding inside her since she went to that bar where she first saw Cash and met Sawyer.
Sawyer stomped so hard over to the couch the floor creaked under his steps. He grabbed Cash by the shirt with his fist and lifted him off of the couch. He cranked back his arm and swung towards Cash’s face.
Cash ducked, narrowly missing Sawyers fist which had almost made contact with his face. Sawyer hadn’t expected him to dodge the blow, and it changed his center of gravity. Cash grabbed Sawyer’s arm and twisted it behind his back. It looked as though it was something they had done a million times growing up.
“What the fuck Traci?” Sawyer yelled, glaring at Traci almost in disbelief. His face was red and contorted with anger so deep, she’d never seen anything like it before. If she thought she’d seen Sawyer angry before, that was nothing compared to this.
“Why does he keep calling you Traci?” Cash asked her sounding eerily calm.
“Because that’s her fucking name you fucking asshole! Let me guess, she played the ‘Jane’ game with you too?” Sawyer shouted full of rage, his eyes wide as he stared at Cash, “You know what brother? You win again! Now let me the fuck go!”
“Not until you calm down,” Cash said. Traci buried her face into her hands unable to look up at either of them.
Sawyer yanked himself free and for a brief second looked like he might consider attempting another swing at Cash, but instead he bolted out the door. Cash and Traci were left behind in the aftermath, “Fuck you both!” he hollered from outside. They heard his truck door slam and his tires spin up gravel as he tore down the driveway of his own property.
Cash sat down on the couch leaving space between them. “So the other guy you mentioned is Sawyer. And your name isn’t Jane?”
She shook her head.
“How long have you known we were brothers?” Traci couldn’t believe how calm Cash was. His eyes were behind his hat but his voice was relaxed.
“Since that first night with you. After we uhh…. He came to the door, you said it was your brother. I had known this was his house, but I had assumed you were renting the trailer.”
“You’ve known for a long time.”
“Yes. But I thought you were just a onetime thing remember? At that point there hadn’t been anything really going on between Sawyer and I, other than I knew he had interest in dating me. When I told him my real name, he didn’t call, so I thought I’d screwed that up. Then you were gone, then you came back and everything just kept building up. It just got out of control. I feel awful. I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“He already hates me so I’m not that much worse off than I was before. I should go look for him. Best if I go alone. Stay here.”
“There you go leaving again…always leaving me behind. You know if it wasn’t for all your leaving none of this would have ever happened!” Traci yelled but deep down she knew she was really mad at herself. She’d only recently found out Cash had feelings for her, he could have told her that sooner, or given her a phone number to reach him. If he would have just told her when he was leaving some of this mess could have been prevented but it was just as much her fault.
“Yeah, I’m a big fuck up. That’s nothing new,” he said as he walked to the door, “I’ll be back.”
“Cash, I couldn’t wait forever, I didn’t even know you were coming back. I thought it was just sex.”
“It was. Until it wasn’t,” he said as he closed the door.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Traci didn’t want to wait for Cash. She didn’t even know what to say to him at this point. Everything was just such a mess. All she knew was that she had to see Sawyer. Her car was back home, so she was stranded on Sawyer’s property with both of the men gone. One of which hated her and the other, well she had no idea how Cash felt about her now.
It felt like she went from having two men wanting her, to having two men hating her.
All she knew was that she had to apologize to Sawyer. Even if he hated her and wouldn’t ever forgive her, she had to try to explain. He hadn’t done anything to her, he’d only ever been kind and sweet to her, and this is what she did to repay him.
She had to try to talk to him even though she knew he’d never forgive her. She had to explain what had happened. She had to tell him she was sorry for what she did to him.
Traci made her way to Sawyer’s house with her arms crossed in front of her. She felt cold even though it wasn’t particularly a cold night. She was trying to think of exactly what she wanted to say to him. The white wicker patio chair seemed like as good of a place as any for her to sit and wait for him. He’d have to come back home eventually for work. She would tell him it was over between her and Cash, and how sorry she was that he had to find out like that. She’d tell him she hadn’t planned any of it. That it all just sort of happened, and she never wanted to hurt him, she just didn’t know what to do since she had feelings for both of them.