“Thanks for coming, Mama. It meant the world to me.”
“You know there’s no place I’d rather be than with my brood. But we need to say our goodbyes so you can settle the children into their beds. Tonight will be special for them, like waiting for Santa Claus, I expect. Only in the morning, it will be chocolate they’ll discover and not brightly wrapped presents under a tree.”
He and Tammy hadn’t talked about chocolate duty, but he had snuck out earlier that morning to buy some chocolate he didn’t have in his cabinet. Annabelle was too smart by half, and he didn’t want her to suspect anything.
When they entered the house, they joined the others in the kitchen. Susannah and Sadie were laughing with Amelia Ann while Shelby was telling Tammy and the kids about her latest fishing trip to Montana with her best friend. Annabelle had climbed onto her mama’s lap and was trying to keep her eyes open, and Dale was simply standing beside Rory, soaking it all in.
After saying their goodbyes, John Parker, Tammy, and the kids stood on his front porch and watched the tail lights disappear. Once they disappeared into the night like fireflies’ ephemeral flicker, Annabelle said softly, “Mama, I want to go to bed so the chocolate fairies can start making chocolate.”
Tammy kissed her cheek. “Let’s take a quick bath, and then I’ll tuck you both in.”
When the kids fell asleep after just one of Rye’s songs that night, Tammy and John Parker rose and held hands.
In her eyes, he knew she was as ready for the magic that lay between them as he was.
Chapter 33
After grabbing the baby monitor, Tammy followed him outside. The night was ink-black now, the moon a golden orb in the sky. The steady hum of cicadas and the trilling of frogs sounded around them as John Parker’s flashlight guided their path to the tree house. Funny how she’d thought this might be where he was planning his surprise since he respected her wish not to be inside the house where the kids could overhear or interrupt them. This special tree house would give them enough privacy, but it was close enough that she could hurry back if the kids awoke in the night.
Of course, she prayed the chocolate fairies would work their magic, and her children would sleep tonight.
When they arrived, John Parker stopped her before she could open the closed door. “Shut your eyes for a second while I…do what needs doing.”
Were those nerves in his voice? For some reason, she hadn’t thought about him feeling like she did, and it soothed her some not to be alone in her fretfulness.
She heard the door open, and then the quick, jagged sound of a match strike. Before John Parker even told her to open her eyes, she knew she’d see candles. And she was right. Held inside hurricane glasses, the white candles lined the floor, casting the interior of the tree house in luminous light.
There was a thick cot on the floor decorated with a white coverlet and hundreds of orchid petals in whites and reds and yellows, which could not have been easy to find. The romance of it had her pressing a hand to her frantically beating heart.
“
Oh, John Parker
,” she said as he walked over to her, the light casting his shadow on the wall. “It’s so beautiful. And thoughtful beyond words.”
Sterling had never done anything like this for her, and she realized it was time to give voice to her demons—just like Tory had advised her to do.
“Can we…sit for a moment?” she asked, and he led her to the end of the cot when they sank down together.
“There’s no rush,” he murmured, taking her hand.
“That’s not it,” she said, fortifying herself to speak of things she’d kept locked inside for so long. “I just need to tell you some things.”
“You can tell me anything.”
“I don’t know where to start or how to say it, except badly.” The blackness of her memories mushroomed out like smoke, threatening to engulf her, but she kept her eyes steady on the light in John Parker’s eyes. “I was a virgin when I married Sterling, and I…never liked sex. It was…a difficult area between us. Sometimes…”
Oh God, this was going to be hard to admit, and seeming to sense that, he squeezed her hand tight. “Just tell me. I can take it.”
“He…hurt me, trying to make me respond. The more it happened, the more…closed up I became. When he finally stopped wanting me…well, it was a relief even though I thought…something was wrong with me. He said as much.”
Her chest was so tight she pressed her other hand to it, hoping it would ease the pressure.
“There’s
nothing
wrong with you, honey. Nothing.” Even though his tone was gentle, his eyes glittered now in the soft light. “You were married to a sadist, and I want to kill him for what he did to you and the kids.”
The violence in him was the same reaction she’d seen in Rye, and she inched closer to him. “I didn’t tell you to anger you. I want it behind me. Behind us. I only…I need you to know I understand it will be different between us, but my body…I froze up on you yesterday, and I don’t want you to think that’s you. It’s not. I love you, John Parker.”
Pulling her to his chest, he kissed the top of her head. “I love you too. I’m glad you told me. I want to help you put your nightmares to rest, Tammy. Making love is going to be perfect between us, just you wait and see. And if it takes some time for you to relax and let go of those memories, that’s okay with me. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do or be anything but what you are.”
My God, that might be the greatest gift she’d ever been given. Her bones seemed to dissolve into the melted wax falling from the candles.
“Then make love to me, John Parker, and show me everything we can be together.”
“It will be my greatest honor,” he said with a reverence that had her falling even deeper under his spell.
His mouth found hers, the fit so perfect tears filled her eyes, but the desire that spiked inside her overrode all conscious thought. When John Parker fisted his hands into her hair, their tongues met and danced, and the drumbeat of desire, one she knew only for him, intensified.
His hands fell to her waist, running up the back of her shirt, tracing the delicate flesh there. He unsnapped her bra and eased his hands around. She leaned back to help him find her breasts, knowing now how good it felt to have his hands on them. When he grazed her nipples, she gripped his shoulders and let her head fall back.
Yes,
she wanted to say.
More. Just like that.
Somehow, the magic he’d dreamed up for the kids crested into her own imagination. Maybe there was such a thing called love dust, and he’d sprinkled some on the orchid petals beneath them.
He dug in his pocket and held up some condoms. “I promised to take care of you.”
More than one?
she thought with a little shock, and then put that thought aside, focusing on this first time between them.
Then he proceeded to kiss her senseless while removing her shirt. Tammy helped him, and her bra came off next. His hands reached for her breasts again, testing their weight, feathering her nipples with his thumbs, sending bolts of lightning racing across her chest. She felt a moan rise in her throat and dimly realized her breasts had never felt so sensitive, so alive.
John Parker was teaching her everything she’d thought she knew about her body was wrong.
She moaned brokenly when he took her nipple into his mouth, sucking gently until she grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. He opened his mouth wider and sucked harder, causing her to arch her back and emit an embarrassing squeal.
“Oh, my God,” she said, pulling away. “I can’t believe I just did that.”
He chuckled softly. “That’s exactly the kind of sound I want to hear from you. Let me hear your passion, Tammy. I won’t hold back with you either.”
His assurance emboldened her, and she raised his T-shirt up and pressed her mouth to the hot flesh of his chest, something she’d wanted to do since the first time she’d seen it, with him slicing logs at her brother’s woodpile. The taste of that warm skin made her want to lick him, and he moaned too when she did. She gloried in the sound.
“I want you,” he ground out, “so badly I ache.”
Oh, how liberating it felt to have someone say that, and the freedom made her head spin. “I want you too. So much.”
Pressing her back to the coverlet, she knew she was squishing the orchid petals, but as he put his mouth on her breast again, she forgot all about that. He laved her until she turned and twisted under him, crying out softly, as he wanted her to do, as she needed to do. When he gently slid his palm down to the V between her legs, she tensed and squeezed her eyes shut.
It’s going to be fine,
she told herself, but everything was locked now—her muscles, her heart, her awareness.
“Okay?” he asked in a voice husky with desire.
“Yes,” she said, not feeling the urge to push him away, but if she had to be honest, she was a bit like boiling water taken off the stove now.
“I’m not so sure. Kiss me again.”
So she did, appreciating the reprieve. His hands stroked her and stroked her until she was arching under him again, and this time he took her hand in his and said, “Let’s venture to the next place together. You set the pace.”
Oh, how wildly exciting and scary that was at the same time. She knew her pace couldn’t have beaten a snail, but she continued to kiss him until she felt comfortable drawing his hand down her belly and toward the V of her thighs.
“You’re beautiful here,” he whispered.
Beautiful? That seemed the oddest compliment ever.
“And you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met,” he continued in a deep voice laced with desire.
Right now, she needed all the bravery she could muster, so she took another deep breath and pushed their hands down to her core. He didn’t move a muscle, but she could feel the heat of their hands against her Capris, and it was like her body knew what it was meant to do in this moment. It swelled and opened, and she pressed his hand harder against her. Something warm and wild shot through her then, and encouraged, she moved his hand. He started to stroke her—gently, oh so gently—and the old armor covering this secret place fell away. Her body sizzled with each light touch of his fingers, each sweet press until she rocked her hips into his hand, surprising herself.
“Oh,”
she murmured before she could think about it, and her gaze flew to his.
“Like that, do you?” he asked, letting out a breath he must have been holding, all smiles now.
This whole talking thing was exciting and a little embarrassing.
“Seems so.”
“Well, honey, let’s see what else you like.”
Oh, the fires he lit inside her with that comment…
When he reached to unbutton her Capris, she helped him slide them down her legs. Without taking his eyes off hers, he trailed his fingers over the lace that was the only thing left covering her. The sensation was so powerful she laid a hand to her forehead. His torturous stroking continued, and when he put his mouth to her breast again, the combination was so intense she moaned loud and long.
“That’s right, honey. Tell me what you’re feeling.”
She was panting when he edged a finger inside the elastic and traced her flesh. With no barriers between them, she moaned again low in her throat and called his name, marveling at how everything felt so different with him.
“
John Parker
.”
He slipped the panties down her legs and tossed them aside. Then he ran a hand behind her knees and opened her more fully to him. “Let me show you how much passion you have inside you.”
Her heart soared at the thought. This was the truth of her, that she
was
a passionate woman, like all women truly were until they were wounded by some man. He was the right man to call forth her passion again, to help her regain it. She knew she was about to discover all of the feminine mysteries that had eluded her until now.
Her breath came out in short puffs in the warm air as his fingers pressed slowly inside her. Her back arched, pressing her hips into his hands. The sweet slide of him was intense, and when he put his mouth to her breast again, she couldn’t isolate where she was feeling her desire anymore. It was everywhere.
God, she wanted this. Had been waiting for it all her life.
He continued that velvet slide until every nerve was on fire, and then a final flick of his thumb to her most sensitive spot gave her the release she so desperately wanted,
needed
. Her hips jerked, her body contracted, and a wave of pleasure rose up from her toes, causing her to cry out. Everything inside her pulsed, and she surrendered to the feeling.
Before she could descend, she heard the plastic wrapper tear, and then he was shifting, kneeling between her legs. Resting slightly on her, he kissed her neck, her shoulder, her cheek. She raised a tingling hand to his hair and moaned when his mouth took her breasts again. Passion shuttered to life. Her legs trembled, and her hips jerked as he caressed her again.
It took her breath away to realize her body could hold more passion than what had just exploded through her.
He pressed inside her with his hard length, sensing she was ready for him, and as he slowly filled her, he joined their hands together.
There was no pain, no impatience—nothing like she’d come to fear before in moments of intimacy.
There was only love, gentleness, and the sweet friction of feeling her body enclose him like they had been made for each other.
“
Oh God, Tammy
,” he murmured, and she felt him tremble in her arms.
Stroking his back, her body arched up to him. When he was seated fully within her, he pressed his mouth to her neck and slowly slid out of her. The motion was almost too intense, and she moaned, running her hands up his back to touch him, please him like he was pleasing her.
“John Parker, please.”
“I know, honey.”
He started a rhythm that was both easy and deep. Tammy closed her eyes again, enjoying the sensation of him filling her and then retreating. Never before had she enjoyed this, but now she couldn’t imagine going another day without it. Soon it wasn’t enough, and she freed their hands and pressed hers against the small of his back, letting him know she wanted him deeper.