Authors: Megan Morgan
“Micha…”
“You’re so pretty.” He tilted his head on the pillow. “You’ve lost weight, too, but you’re just as beautiful as ever.”
“Micha”—she fought back tears—“I wanted to see how you were doing. I was hoping I’d feel better when I walked out.”
“Yeah, well. Looks like I got a whole lot of bad luck.”
She wanted to sob, to fling herself on top of him and cry against his chest. All those nights they’d spent together, holding each other for comfort and reassurance—she wanted those back. Maybe they weren’t in love, but they were in something, something deeper and more profound and much needed. He’d been her rock, more than Sam, more than Jason. He’d seen her through the darkness.
But now, he was lost in the darkness, and she couldn’t pull him out.
“Do they know anything?” She tried to force her voice steady. “Are they getting anywhere?”
“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” He drew a deep breath, the air rattling in his chest. “I’ve signed confidentiality forms. The FBI doesn’t want me to compromise their case.”
She glanced at the camera and then whispered, “Squeeze once for yes and twice for no.”
Micha held her in his gaze, those once vibrant blue eyes dull, like a summer sky gone dark with storm clouds.
“Do they know what the serum is doing to you?” she whispered.
He squeezed her hand once, and then twice, a weak but obvious grip.
“Do you still have powers?”
One squeeze.
“Are they getting stronger?”
Two squeezes.
“Are you able to control them better?”
Two squeezes.
None of this surprised her. If his abilities hadn’t taken root in the six months he’d been exhibiting them, they probably wouldn’t now.
She moved on to the hard questions. “Are they trying to fix the way it’s making you sick?”
One squeeze.
“Have they done anything that makes you feel better?”
Two squeezes.
She looked down, her vision blurring. She’d never done so much crying as she had after coming to Chicago, not in all her years and all the bullshit she’d endured, watching her family break apart and hiding from herself. She’d always been stoic, always held her head high and soldiered on, until this city had broken her.
“Do they think you’re going to survive?” She barely forced the whispered words out.
No response for a moment, and then he squeezed once.
And twice.
She put a hand over her eyes, a sob catching in her throat. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t stress him out. He needed support right now. She couldn’t pull him out of the dark, but she had to be strong for him.
“June,” he said softly. “I knew from the moment I was injected I wouldn’t survive this. I knew it was poison. I just didn’t know how fast or slow it would be. Eric wanted to play God, but there’s no good outcome for that. You can’t create what doesn’t exist.”
“You did so much for so many people.” She lowered her hand. “You don’t deserve this.”
“I’d say that’s your argument for there not being a God, then.” He dropped his other hand on his chest. “Eric couldn’t accomplish the impossible, just like I couldn’t.”
“How can you be so calm about this?”
“Like I said, I knew the moment that needle went into me it was over. I’ve had time to get used to it.”
“Well, I’m not used to it, and I refuse to accept it.” She gripped his hand in both of hers again. “Trina will find a way to fix this.”
“I’m an abomination. There’s no fixing it.”
“You’re not an abomination. Remember what you told me in the hotel room, back in January? You said I wasn’t a freak, that paranormal people were not monsters.”
“You’re not. But I’m not you. I’m neither this nor that, and I don’t belong here.”
“Stop saying that.” She jerked his hand gently. “If I deserve to live, you deserve to live.”
“It’s not about what we deserve; it’s what we’re allowed.” He let out another rattling breath. “All those times when I was a kid, wishing I were like my mother and sisters, being jealous of them for having powers. I guess this is why they say be careful what you ask for.”
“You didn’t ask for this.”
“I guess my detractors can’t say I don’t understand their plight now. What ironic suffering for all my presumption. They must be smug, and I wouldn’t blame them.”
“Micha, you’re a good man who wanted good things for us. No one wants to see you in this kind of pain.”
“I don’t think you understand the people in this city. There was a time I’m sure Sam would have been gloating.”
She didn’t want to believe that, but he was probably right.
“Sam wants you to get better too,” she said. “He sends his condolences.”
“Does he?” Micha arched an eyebrow. “It’s funny how I haven’t gotten any flowers from the Paranormal Alliance.”
“We just got away from the FBI. I’ll make him send flowers.” She sniffed behind her mask, the cloth getting damp from her hitching breath. “I’ll make him send the biggest, most ridiculous bouquet ever.”
“I’m sure he’ll put a nice big wreath on my casket.”
“If you don’t stop talking like that, I’m going to beat your ass.” Her voice cracked. “And I can do it, because you’re weak.” She wiped her eyes.
Micha smiled. “Anyway, I was hoping our future mayor would have a few kind words for me.”
“Oh, God.” She sniffed again, hard. “I had no idea that was coming. I mean, I know he’s a politician, but I didn’t know he was going to jump back in that fast or hard.”
“I’m not the least bit surprised. He’ll probably get elected too. He’ll milk the city’s guilt for all it’s worth.”
She couldn’t even imagine how she’d connect with Sam as mayor when she couldn’t get comfortable in his big house and with his obviously hefty bank account.
“Why are you still here?” Micha asked. “Why haven’t you taken Jason and gone back to California yet?”
Her throat tightened. So much he didn’t know.
“I don’t have Jason,” she said. “That’s why I haven’t left Chicago.”
Micha furrowed his brow.
She lowered her voice. “I told everybody he didn’t want to talk to the public because I didn’t want anybody to know what’s really going on.”
“What’s going on?”
She glanced at the camera. She stroked the inside of his wrist. “Occam kidnapped Jason,” she whispered. “And Diego. They never made it out of Chicago.”
Micha’s eyes widened fully, for the first time. His fingers twitched against her palm. “Oh my God.”
“I don’t believe Occam will hurt them. He’s using them as leverage. If he hurts them, he won’t get what he wants from me. I’m guessing he’s holding them the way he held you prisoner, a scummy mattress and some junk food, but no real damage.”
“What does he want from you?”
“He—” Telling him the truth meant telling the whole truth, and he didn’t need to be worrying about her at a time like this. “He wants me to become a vampire.”
He blinked.
“That’s why he helped us,” she said. “That’s why he did everything—why he saved us from Robbie at the apartment building, why he showed up at the park to warn us, not hurting you, helping Sam—all of it. He did it hoping to win my favor.”
“And when that didn’t work…”
“He made another bargaining chip. We’re trying to buy time until we can find a way to get them back. My mother wants to come here, but I lied to her and told her not to. I’m afraid Occam will take her too.”
“Why?” Micha screwed up his face. “Why does Occam want you to be a vampire that badly?”
“My power is strong.” She chose her words carefully. “You know vampires and powers. Occam says they want to get rid of all the weak vampires, something he calls a cleansing. A pride thing, I guess. Or maybe they’re building an army.”
“So he wants a vampire bride.” Micha grimaced. “He’s so horrible that he would do this to you, manipulate you like this. There has to be a way you can put an end to this, put an end to him.” He shook his head on the pillow, tight-lipped. “I shouldn’t have lied for him. That no good, conniving—”
“I’m sure we’re all alive right now because you told that lie. Occam always gets what he wants, one way or another.”
Micha squeezed her hand weakly. “Please be careful out there. I know you have to get your brother and friend back, and you will. You’ve got Sam helping you, and my feelings about him aside, he’s a smart man. He’s got resources.”
“I hope so. He’s already…trying something. But I don’t know if it will work.”
Silence fell. The TV was on in the corner, turned down low. The sun shone bright through the window, bathing the room in gold. The air smelled like flowers. Everything was peaceful and beautiful, apart from the skeletal, suffering man in the bed.
“You and Sam look good together, by the way,” Micha said. “You suit each other.”
She stared at him, heart stilling.
“At the press conference,” Micha said. “He seems protective of you. I’m glad to see that.” He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.
“Micha…”
“Are you happy with him?”
“I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know which end is up right now. I’m only beginning to learn what his life is really like. We don’t have a lot in common.”
“Neither did we.”
“Yeah…”
“Comfort is important in times like these.” He continued rubbing the back of her hand. “But you need chemistry to keep it going. That’s the thing we lacked, I suppose.”
“I thought we had it.”
“We had sex. There’s a difference.” He smiled faintly.
“I feel torn apart.” She looked down at their locked hands. “This was never the right time to be in a relationship with anyone, at all. It isn’t now. I wish I weren’t like this. I wish I could just turn it off. I mean, what kind of bitch am I? Here you are, like this, and I’ve already moved on. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“June. We had this discussion. We knew we weren’t a good fit. It just…worked, at the time. It felt good. We both needed to feel good.”
“And you still do. It must be so horrible and lonely in here.”
“Not like they would let me have company, anyway. Apart from the doctors, you’re the first visitor I’ve had. I’m doomed to spend my final days as a science experiment, locked away.”
“Don’t say your final days.” She clutched his hand. “You’re going to get better and get out of here. True, you’ll probably be an unwilling celebrity for a while, but you won’t be dead. You’ll get to go back to your work and life.”
His eyelids drooped again. “I don’t regret us,” he said softly. “I never regretted us. It was beautiful.”
“I don’t regret us, either.” She blinked back tears. “And Sam isn’t—he’s not better than you. He’s not more suited for me. Don’t think that way.”
Micha was silent.
“Maybe your powers will flare up.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “And you can blast your way out of here.”
“And go back into hiding? On the run from the scientists? No, thank you.”
“They can’t treat you like a guinea pig forever. You’re a human being.”
“A human being who’s an important component in a huge legal case against the Institute. I’m the straw that breaks their back. Kinda makes me feel special. In the end, I’m helping the paranormal community in the biggest way possible. A true martyr.”
She didn’t bother telling him to stop talking like that again. Clearly, he believed this was the end. She didn’t, though. She wouldn’t believe that. Couldn’t.
“Have you seen Rose?” he asked.
“No. Maybe I’ll never see her again, now that everything’s over. If she’s innocent, they’ll uncover it. That’s what she wants.”
She still had so much to say, so much to tell him. But the door opened then, and the nurse stepped in.
“Time’s up. Say your good-byes.”
June gazed desperately at Micha, clutching his hand.
“I’ll come visit you again,” she said. “For fuck’s sake, they should understand you need some companionship in here.” She looked at the nurse. “Aren’t you guys at all concerned about his mental health? Or is he just a rat to you?”
“Not my decision,” the nurse said. “I just do what I’m told, and I’m supposed to get you out of here now.”
June looked back at Micha. “I will come see you again.”
He smiled. “Be careful out there. Watch your back. And good luck. Make that vampire dick pay.”
“You be careful in here. Don’t let them abuse you. Don’t let them do anything undignified to you.”
“Come on,” the nurse said. “Time’s up.”
Not caring if she got yelled at, June leaned over and pressed her forehead to Micha’s. He seemed too fragile to hug. She didn’t want to jostle him, afraid he would break.
“I’m sorry about all this,” she whispered. “We’re both going to survive, the way we always have.”
She kissed him through the mask. His lips were cold and unyielding, like he was already dead.
In the outer room, she yanked off the mask, gloves, and gown, her hands shaking. Trina still stood in the corner, silent, arms folded.
June thrust the items at the nurse.
The nurse took them. “I don’t treat him like a rat, by the way. I do actually care about his mental health.”
June could barely see for the tears in her eyes or think because her head was spinning. Her stomach hurt. “Really? Can’t tell from where I’m standing.”
“I should have yanked you out of there the second you violated the rules. Why do you think I didn’t?” She tossed the used protective gear in a waste bin. “I’m also not going to report anything you said in there.”
June blinked, trying to clear her vision. “Thanks,” she whispered.
“Come on,” Trina murmured, motioning to her. “Our dog is in the car.”
Trina led her back through the hospital. They didn’t speak, and June moved in a haze, trembling, fighting tears. She kept seeing Micha’s gaunt face, hearing the despair and doom in his voice.
Outside, under the blazing sun, June stopped on the steps leading up to the hospital. Instead of following Trina down to the parking lot, she sat, drew her knees up, and wrapped her arms around them.
Trina stopped a few steps down and looked back at her. She had sunglasses on. June had forgotten hers in the car. She wasn’t used to having accessories again.