The Bull Rider's Brother (18 page)

“I didn’t think about that.” James sagged against the counter. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I, well, I panicked.”

“Welcome to the club.” Angie waved away James’s protests. “I’m not saying you’re like me. Sometimes people just do stupid things. I did something stupid when I left you boys. Jesse’s forgiven me, why can’t you?”

“This conversation isn’t about you.” James grabbed the hot bagel out of the toaster and swiped it with cream cheese, his hunger gone.

“Okay, we won’t go there right now. Lizzie was hurt. And mad. And surprised by the money.” Angie took a sip of her coffee. “A nice touch by the way.”

“I owe her that much, probably more.” James poured himself a cup of coffee and sat across from the woman who claimed to be his mother. Angie didn’t look like the idealized version of the mother he remembered from his childhood. That woman had a radiant smile and soft cheeks. James loved to cuddle while she read to him. Stories of
Aladdin and the Magic Lamp
and
Gulliver’s Travels.
James had always thought she read the action adventure books for him, but now he wondered if her wanderlust had shown in her reading choices.

“Still, after what you pulled, it took balls to send her money and not expect her to tear up the check.”

James hadn’t thought of that. “She didn’t, did she?”

“No honey, she cashed that puppy and we went shopping.” Angie smiled. “That girl has quite a knack for the bargain. We got everything she needed to open up the cabins and she still has money left over.”

“Lizzie always was practical.” James took a bite of the bagel. Somehow, it didn’t taste as good as he’d remembered from last week. How could his world have changed so much in less than a week?

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders for business. She told me she planned on being a journalist before JR came around.” Angie slipped off the stool and poured herself another cup of coffee. “I think she would have been happier in public relations.”

“I wish she’d told me. About JR, I mean. We could have worked something out.” James pushed the bagel aside.

“From what I learned last night, her mom gave Lizzie an option. Finding you or living with them. I guess the woman didn’t think much of your taking off with Jesse.”

James could feel Angie watching for his reaction. “I was only going to be gone one summer. Lizzie knew that. She didn’t trust me. It was all in or nothing with her.” James hesitated. “And Jesse needed me more than she did. Lizzie’s like a cat. She always lands feet first. But Jesse, he only had me.”

“Sounds like Lizzie had a reason not to trust you, so wrapped up in your importance to your brother that you became his parent and forgot about living your own life. Forgot about her.” Angie’s voice was quiet.

“I have a life.” Defensively James pointed at the house. “I have a home, a job, and friends. And I never forgot about Lizzie, I … .” His jaw worked. “I knew she was better off.”

“You have a house, not a home. Your job’s taking care of your brother. And I haven’t seen you around anyone besides Jesse since I’ve been hanging out at the rodeos watching you. Where are your friends?”

“I saw one this morning. George.” James panicked. He searched his memory for the last time he’d done anything with someone besides Jesse. And even though he wasn’t here a lot, the ranch was home, wasn’t it?

“Isn’t he your lawyer?” Angie deadpanned the question.

“What, I can’t be friends with people I work with?” James stood up and dumped the uneaten bagel in the trashcan. He set the plate in the sink and refilled his coffee cup.

“Sure you can. But do you have any ‘friends’ you don’t pay to talk to you?” Angie patted the countertop. “Sit back down. I know I’m treading on thin ice here, but someone needs to talk so you’ll listen. I wasn’t here before, but I am now.”

“And you want to walk in and become my mother again?” James snorted.

“Maybe not Mom, but I want to be part of your life. Yours and Jesse’s. And I want to help correct the problems I’ve caused.” Angie watched James slowly sit down across from her. “Lizzie loves you. You behaved like a jackass and she’d still take you back the minute you set foot in her yard. You need to commit to that girl and your son. Jesse can take care of himself. He’s not a child. JR is.”

“I blew that.” James thought about his tantrums over the weekend. Hot, then cold. How could anyone trust him when he let his emotions rule his intentions? Running out on Lizzie the first time had been a matter of pride. She’d asked him not to go, to choose her, and he’d blown her off thinking she’d still be around when he got back in the fall. Problem was, the brothers never did go home. And James had never taken the time to try to make it right.

“That girl is in love with you and has been for years from what I’ve seen and heard. Why do you think she broke up with Cash? She told me she needed to sew up her broken heart before she gave it away again.” Angie shook her head. “You think she’d leave you the way I left you boys and your father? She hasn’t quit on JR yet, and it’s been tough, believe me.”

“No. I mean, maybe.” James’s shoulders sagged. He met Angie’s eyes. “People leave.”

Angie sighed. “James, I can’t make the past different. I wasn’t in love with your father. I never was. We got married too soon. He knew I didn’t love him, but he said he loved me enough for the both of us. He was wrong.”

“He fell apart after you left.” James thought about the shell of a man his dad had become right before they had left home. “Grams tried to help but he refused to let her visit after she tore into him about his drinking. Then it got worse.”

“Oh, James, I’m sorry.” Tears filled Angie’s eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“He didn’t beat us. And there was always food in the house. But he made us feel like Jesse and I lived alone.” James tapped his fingers on his coffee cup. “Jesse got the worst of it. He’d do anything to get the old man’s attention. Finally, he stopped trying. After I graduated, I stayed for Jesse’s senior year, then we left.”

“And never looked back?”

“Not until last weekend. How’d you convince Jesse to go home?” James considered the woman sitting in front of him. His mother in tight sweat pants with a rhinestone encrusted shirt. He had wondered why Jesse had been adamant about riding at Shawnee. Now he knew the answer sat in front of him.

“Jesse told me about JR.” Angie paused. When no response came from James, she continued. “We decided it was time you knew.”

“So the whole thing was a set up by a mother I’d written off for dead to let me know I have a son?” James stood and poured his cold coffee down the sink. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a soda instead. “Were you trying to kill me?”

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t the best plan. Neither Jesse or I had any idea it would be this rough for you.” Angie glanced at James. “We didn’t think how you would react, or that you’d take it out so hard on Lizzie. I’m sorry about that. The girl doesn’t deserve it.”

“What’s done is done.” James waved off her apology.

“No, it isn’t. You need to make it right with that girl. Whatever you fought about six years ago isn’t worth losing her and JR again.” Angie tapped her pink fake nails against her coffee cup.

“She doesn’t want me.”

“James Ray Sullivan. I didn’t raise a quitter.”

“Angie, you didn’t raise me.” For the first time James sent the feisty woman before him a genuine grin.

“That’s beside the point.” Not quite smiling back, Angie sipped her coffee. “What did the two of you fight about anyway? Lizzie wouldn’t tell me.”

“Jesse, what else.”

“Why Jesse?”

“Lizzie and I planned on attending college together. She’d already put off going for a year while we worked and saved up the money. But mostly we stayed in town until Jesse graduated. Her folks were hot because they wanted her to go to college right after we graduated.”

“So you took care of Jesse first.” Angie shook her head. “Things the way they were, that seems reasonable. And it sounds like you were both in agreement, what happened?”

“When Jesse graduated he got a call to ride bulls for the summer for a local rancher. The guy would pay him and another guy a salary and pay the rodeo entry fees. If Jesse won, he got to keep the purse.” James remembered Jesse’s face when he got the call. He’d won the lottery. “So I told Lizzie I’d be back in the fall to move to Portland with her.”

“Putting your brother before the girl you were sleeping with and making promises to.” Angie nodded. “And you didn’t come back and you didn’t call.”

James squirmed, not liking how that sounded. If he’d called, would she have told him she was pregnant? Why had he she should have been the first one to make that move? Oh, right. Stubbornness. “I tried, but Jesse was good, even then. The rodeos stacked up. Before I knew it, September had come and gone.” James leaned against the cabinet, his knee bent and his cowboy boot up against the walnut cupboard doors. “And so had Lizzie.”

“She loves you.” Angie stood up and swung her pink fur purse over her shoulder.

“But is that enough?” James watched his mother.

“For my sake, I hope so. I want to keep seeing my grandson.” Angie gave him a quick hug.

James held himself stiff as a board inside her embrace. The move surprised him and yet a part of him wanted to melt. Just a part. He’d wait until George finished running the background check before he’d let her in. He had to.

“Well, I’ve got to get packing and go pick up Jesse,” James said awkwardly.

“I’m leaving. Think about what I said. Make a commitment, and not only to JR. Commit to that girl before she gives up on you. Six years is a long time to wait.” Angie waggled her fingers in what appeared to be a wave. “See you soon.”

Marry the girl
.

James followed Angie outside and watched her drive away. He wanted to marry Lizzie. He wanted to make a commitment. But there were so many other things he had to do. Places he had to be. Meetings to take. Contracts to court.

A custody battle to cancel … .

Swallowing hard, he turned and locked the door. If he stopped trying to take JR away from Lizzie and started to try to work with her, maybe … . Maybe Angie was right. Maybe if he went back to the beginning and picked up the plan where he and Lizzie had left it six years ago … .

It was the longest shot of his life, but he had to try.

He found the number in his cell. Pushing buttons, he walked to the truck as he waited. “Hey, I need a favor. A few, actually.”

• • •

Lizzie had just finished sliding a pan of apple cinnamon muffins into the oven when she heard a knock on the front door. Glancing at the clock she realized it was too soon for the mail. At least it wouldn’t be another certified letter explaining the check had been a mistake and James wanted the money back. Not that she had much of it left after the shopping trip with Angie yesterday. Today she needed to finish getting the cabins ready for the first call for rental. A call she hoped would come sooner than later.

Throwing the dish towel over her shoulder, she went to answer the door. JR beat her to it.

“I’ll get it.”

Lizzie followed, surprised to see Martha when JR swung the door open.

He slipped outside and hugged the tall, gray haired woman. “Gramma Martha! Did you come to get me for the day?”

A pang of pain crossed Lizzie’s mind; this was not the first time she’d missed her mother lately. JR had lots of grandmothers now, but she didn’t have one mom. She pushed away bittersweet sentiment and smiled at her soon to be stepmother. “JR, let the woman breathe. Martha, come on in. I’ve got fresh coffee and muffins in the oven.”

“Mmmm, I can smell them baking. Something with cinnamon?” Martha put her hand on JR’s head and followed him into the cabin.

“Apple cinnamon. I’m trying out some recipes in hopes we get some cabin rentals soon.” Lizzie led the way into the kitchen. “JR, why don’t you get your blocks and build something to show Martha while she and I talk in the kitchen?”

A frown crossed JR’s face. “Do you like boats? I’m making a boat.”

“I love boats.” Martha patted him on the head and mouthed ‘thank you’ at Lizzie.

When Lizzie had poured them both coffee and offered Martha cream and sugar, which she declined, the two women faced each other across the table.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” Martha started.

Lizzie smiled. “You’re marrying my father, Martha, I expect to see you a lot.”

Martha’s body sagged in relief. Whatever she’d thought Lizzie’s reaction was going to be, apparently accepting hadn’t been one of the choices.

“I want you to know your father and I have been very respectful of your mother’s memory. I mean until the wedding we aren’t sharing a bed. He’s staying in my guest room for now.” Martha sipped her coffee.

Lizzie choked on hers. “You don’t have to explain. Really.” The thought of her dad and Martha doing it had never crossed her mind. Now she couldn’t get the image out. Changing the subject as quickly as she could, she said, “I’m happy you’re joining our family. When are you tying the knot?”

“We want to go to Vegas next month. I’ve already arranged for someone to take care of the fish.” Martha was passionate about her fish. She’d been running a tilapia farm on her property for years. Lizzie’s dad had been talking about the advantages of fish farming for the last year.

I should have seen this coming then.

“Get me a date and I’ll figure out a way to be there. Maybe JR, too.” Lizzie smiled at her. Pleasantly plump, even Martha’s body type was totally different from her mom’s rail thin body. Also, Martha wore her hair long, usually pulled back into a ponytail, with wisps of gray showing through the natural brown. Her mother had never missed a salon appointment, religiously scheduling them six weeks apart to keep her blonde hair from showing signs of the passing years. Martha and her mother were polar opposites and yet, Lizzie knew, Martha was the type of person her dad needed.

“Your dad and I will pay for the flight and the room. All you’ll need is a dress and gambling money.” Martha grinned. “We’ll even babysit when you want to go down to the casino floor. Maybe you’ll get lucky?”