Not that he intended to take things that far. Riley deserved better than a quick, sordid blowjob in the less-than-pristine men’s room.
Vin turned his head so he could speak into Riley’s ear. “I want to take you home.”
“Good thing you’ll get to.” Riley grinned at him.
“No, I mean now!” Vin let the hand that had been resting at Riley’s waist slide back around toward his ass. He wasn’t groping Riley in public, but pretty close. It made him feel crazy with power, like he could do anything, all the things other people had always done while he stood by and watched. He’d stepped into the real world somehow.
Riley leaned in until no space existed between them, their movements reduced to a slow sway, the press of the crowd walking them in. “Let’s get out of here.”
Turning to go, Vin caught sight of Patrick through the crowd again. Shit. “Give me a minute. I need to make sure Patrick can get a ride.”
Riley looked less than thrilled, but nodded and gestured toward the bar. Vin wasn’t sure if he meant he’d get another drink while he waited or if he was pointing out where he’d be. Winding his way through the crowd, Vin headed to where Patrick was remarkably still dancing with the same guy.
Getting Patrick’s attention wasn’t easy. The music was back to frenetic, and Patrick was having sex with the air, gyrating in a way Elvis would have disowned, his hands over his head, singing along to lyrics the song didn’t have, eye fucking guy-with-glasses, who looked overwhelmed but was hanging in there.
Patrick spun around, a pirouette he didn’t have room to perform, and wobbled. As Vin got closer he saw Patrick flail his arms in search of his balance and in the process smack the man behind him full in the face.
“Sorry!” Patrick said, still too far away for Vin to hear it, but he could read lips after years of working in noisy bars. Patrick smiled, at his most charming, and said something Vin didn’t catch because someone pushed past him, blocking his view for a second or two.
His next sight was of Patrick flying backward, not punched but shoved, a two-handed lunge from a man with blood dripping from his nose, giving the white T-shirt he wore a new, macabre pattern.
Crap.
“Hey!” Vin moved faster than he thought possible, getting between the two of them and holding both hands up in a placating gesture. “Hey, come on! It was an accident.”
“He hit me!” The guy sounded muffled from the hand under his nose trying to stem the flow of blood.
“What the fuck?” Patrick was already scrambling to his feet with the help of his dance partner, who looked shocked by the incident. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” Vin told him, then turned back to the bleeding guy, who thankfully was starting to lose steam. “It was an accident, okay? Take it easy.”
“Yeah, whatever.” The man shoved past them, headed toward the bathroom, so Vin was able to focus his attention on the wide-eyed Patrick.
Patrick adjusted his shirt as if getting it to lie straight was vital. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Vin took Patrick’s face in his hands and tilted it, surprised by the degree of worry he felt.
“Yes.” Patrick was looking at him like they were the only two people in the place, instead of surrounded by hundreds of men and the throbbing beat of the music. “I’m okay. I didn’t hit my head; I landed on my ass. Trust me, it’s had worse.”
“Why do you always say stuff like that? No wonder people call you a slut. You make them say it.” Worry morphed into anger, and Vin gripped Patrick’s shoulders, shaking him, a rough, impatient action he regretted even before Patrick’s mouth fell open, eyes widening to match it.
As stricken as Patrick, he stepped back, muttering an apology that didn’t come close to the groveling he should be doing, and collided with someone. Oh God, now what?
He turned, hoping he didn’t meet a fist flying at him, and found himself face-to-face with Riley, whose carefully blank expression was almost as hard to take as a blow.
Riley nodded in Patrick’s direction without quite looking at him. “Is he okay?”
“He’s just fine, thanks,” Patrick said, his voice tart. “Going to have some interesting bruises tomorrow, but it wouldn’t be Sunday without them.”
“Then why don’t we get the hell out of here?” Riley asked Vin. It felt like he was asking for more than that.
“Sure. Yeah. Let’s go.”
Vin felt dazed as they left the club, though he was grateful for the fresh, cold air and the sudden lack of music ringing in his ears. Riley put an arm around him as they walked; he was grateful for that too.
“What was that all about?” Riley asked, kissing his hair, and Vin burrowed closer to him for warmth and comfort.
“Patrick hit that guy—you saw how he was flailing around—and the guy pushed him. No big deal.” Vin had seen worse in clubs and in the Peg, but having Patrick be the target of it was different somehow. He felt off balance and unsettled and wanted Riley to make him feel grounded again. “Let’s go back to my place, okay?”
“Okay.”
For once, Vin wished he wasn’t the one who had to drive. It would have been nice to sit and let the adrenaline coursing through him ease off instead of having to be behind the wheel, but at least it didn’t take long to get home. They slipped in through the back entrance—the bar was quiet, everyone long gone—and up the stairs. As soon as they were inside his apartment with the door shut, Riley kissed him, and Vin kissed him back, hard and determined, parting his lips until Riley groaned.
“Bedroom,” Riley said hoarsely and led the way.
Getting naked with Riley watching him had lost its novelty—Vin had never been all that body-shy anyway—but he didn’t ever want to get used to the flare of appreciation in Riley’s eyes. When they were lying side by side in bed, it gave him the confidence to push the condom Riley gave him back into Riley’s hand.
“You don’t want to fuck me?” Riley asked.
“Always.” Vin ran his hand down Riley’s arm, enjoying the feel of smooth skin and firm muscles against his palm. “But I’m in the mood for something new.”
“Yeah? You wanna get your kink on, baby?” Riley delivered his kiss with a grin, blurred around the edges by drink, but the erection pressing into Vin’s stomach was rigid enough. “Want a spanking? Or maybe tie me up?”
Vin shook his head. He had friends into that, but it didn’t feature in his fantasies.
“No. Not my thing. I want you to fuck me.”
He relaxed as he said it, already feeling the intimacy of the act surround him like a blanket. Riley inside him, the two of them joined, would feel incredible. Why was he holding off on trying it when he knew how good it felt to slide slowly into Riley’s hole, working his way deeper with every thrust? Riley loved being fucked, going by his reactions, and Vin knew he’d enjoy it too.
Riley held the condom up, turning it between his fingers, a magician flipping a card. “You sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
That got him a shrug. “I don’t know. Okay. Let’s do it.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Vin said.
“Of course I want to; are you crazy?” Riley kissed him, a lingering kiss that left Vin’s lips damp and tingling. “I just don’t want to push you into anything.”
“If it’s my idea, you aren’t pushing me.” Vin looked up into Riley’s eyes, trusting him to make it good. “Now can we stop talking about it?”
“Yes,” Riley said. “Absolutely.”
Vin lay back, then handed Riley the lube, apprehensive again as Riley slicked his fingers and slid a hand up his inner thigh. They’d done this much, Riley’s fingers playing with the outside edge of Vin’s hole while his lips were around Vin’s cock, but not much more than that. He couldn’t imagine what it felt like to have one of Riley’s fingers slipping inside him. Vin knew he should have tried it before, done it to himself, but it had seemed awkward and weird, so he never had.
The first push, the initial intrusion—and it felt like that—had him inhaling sharply, a blush crawling up his face. He wanted to squirm, uncomfortable with the idea that Riley’s finger was in his ass. It didn’t hurt beyond a faint burn, but it didn’t feel good the way the wet, hot lick of Riley’s tongue on his cock did.
“It gets better.” Riley inched his finger deeper. “Trust me.”
“I do.” Vin took a deep breath, willing his body to relax and feeling a glimmer of something pleasurable as Riley’s finger stroked him from the inside.
“That’s it.” Riley kissed him and pulled his finger out, the loss as disconcerting as the insertion. Vin lay waiting for Riley to put a condom on, unsure of where to look or what to do. He felt achingly isolated and vulnerable.
“Should I— How do you want to do this?”
Riley patted his thigh in what felt like a signal, not a caress. “On your hands and knees would work.”
“Okay.”
He got into position, and could he stop blushing? Please?
“This tattoo on your back is so big.” Riley traced it with his finger. It was a stylized bird of prey, wings spread wide, covering Vin’s shoulder blades. “Wish it wasn’t there. It’s like it’s hiding your skin from me.”
He drew his nails across it as if he were trying to scrape the ink away. It hurt as much as his words, but a moment later Riley kissed where he’d scratched, a penitent press of his lips. “Sorry. It’s part of you, I guess.”
“It’s not going anywhere.” His voice felt rusty, unused. Why didn’t Riley do something? Positioned like this, unable to see Riley’s face, Vin felt his earlier certainty fade.
“Neither am I,” Riley whispered against Vin’s skin, his breath tickling it. “So fucking hot like this, waiting for me. Want to make you feel good, Vin. Show you what you’ve been missing.”
“Do it.” Vin concentrated on the feel of his cock hanging heavy and hard between his thighs, knowing this wouldn’t be good, not at first, but after that—
When Riley pushed into him, it was slow, and it hurt about a hundred times more than Vin had expected it to. He lost his erection in a heartbeat, his body straining away from Riley to escape the inexorable pressure of the cock splitting him open. He made a sound like a whining cry, and Riley gripped his hips like a vise, holding him still.
“Shh, I know.” Riley pushed deeper; Vin was shaking, fighting to remember how to breathe. “I know it hurts at first. Relax. Once you relax, it’s gonna be— God, you’re so tight.”
He couldn’t talk; he was sure as soon as he opened his mouth he’d make another pitiful whine. He focused on relaxing, because he knew Riley was right about that. Any second now, his body would stop fighting this, and it would be amazing.
Any second.
Riley eased back until only the head of his cock was inside Vin. The loss of the thickness forcing him open was a guilty relief, but the raw burn remained. Vin panted, willing the pain to subside. He’d done this to Riley? Hurt Riley like this? God, he was such a fucking jerk.
He felt a cool trickle of lube run down the crack of his ass. “There,” Riley said as if he’d done something clever. “That should do it.”
None of the lube was inside Vin, but maybe some had landed on Riley’s cock? Before he could ask for Riley to use even more, like the rest of the bottle and the hell with the mess it would make, Riley jerked his hips forward, ramming his cock into Vin’s hole with a forceful shove.
Vin screamed. The sound was torn from him, with no breath behind it to give it volume, the agony staying inside him, lodged as deeply as the cause.
He wasn’t sure what happened after that. Riley pulled out of him—thank God—and somehow he was lying on his side, grateful for the mattress underneath him but less so for Riley’s hands petting him and Riley’s desperate voice seeking reassurance.
“I’m sorry! Vin, tell me what to do. Are you bleeding? Should I call an ambulance?”
The pain was mostly gone now, and what was left Vin could handle. “No,” he said. “Give me a minute. I’m okay.”
“That’s never happened before,” Riley continued. “It’s always been fine. I don’t think I did it wrong—”
“It wasn’t you. It was me.” Vin rolled over onto his back, wincing as his ass clenched in protest. If Riley hadn’t been so ridiculously apologetic, Vin might have been mad, but as it was even any lingering annoyance was fading fast. “If you’ve done it before, I mean.”
“Well, not for anyone’s first time. I figured, take it easy, use lots of lube, everything would be fine. I didn’t know it would be like that.” He stroked Vin’s arm with gentle fingers. “I didn’t know.”
“I know,” Vin said.
The unintentional echoing of Riley’s words seemed to help; Riley heaved a sigh and gave him a rueful smile. “Guess sex is off the menu for tonight?”
If he expected Vin to disagree, he was going to be disappointed.
“If you don’t stop adjusting your tie, I’m going to take it off you and throw it out the window,” Vin said.
Riley, who was driving and should have had both hands on the wheel, made a face that went from protest to hopeful. “Undressing me? Promises, promises.”
Vin could have taken that as a jab, but he knew Riley didn’t mean it as one. They’d had plenty of great sex since their disastrous attempt at having Vin bottom, with the firm understanding they wouldn’t try it again until Vin was ready. Vin couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong with him, though. Not that he could see a doctor about it.
Hey, Doc, I think there’s something wrong with my ass—my boyfriend can’t fuck me.
Yeah, no way was that happening.
“After brunch,” he promised. Riley took a hand off the wheel to pat his thigh, which was an improvement over fixing his perfect tie. “Don’t be nervous—they’re gonna love you.”
“So you keep telling me.” Riley sighed and glanced at him. “Tell me again.”
“Turn right up here at the stop sign,” Vin said first. “My parents will love you, I promise. What’s not to love? And they know you’re good to me.”
“I want to be,” Riley said, more seriously than he needed to sound, in Vin’s opinion. “I mean, you waited for me. For years. It feels like I owe you for that.”
“Oh God, no.” Vin shook his head hard enough that his dragon earring struck his cheek. “Can we forget that, please? It was my choice, and it wasn’t all about you. I wasn’t ready for dating, and maybe it was my way to justify not jumping into the pool? I don’t know. I just know if you want to be good to me, do it because of some other reason.” He took a deep breath before he screwed everything up even more. Riley’s expression was a weird mix of affronted and relieved. “See the red car? Pull in behind it.”