To tell the truth all I could think of was how pretty Karen’s hair was. I bumped up against the wall and said
“But…”
She turned away and started to go into the dining room waving a hand at me when I started to follow she spun on me once more and she explained to me at long last,
“Do not follow me! If you ever hope to remain MY boyfriend you need to know and remember two things: 1) don’t stare at other women’s butts or any other body part and 2) don’t follow me if you have screwed up and if I don’t want you to! Got it?”
I looked at her finally figuring out that I was her boyfriend but I wasn’t clear if she was my girlfriend or not, so I figured I should get clarification on a few things so I began;
“Ummm, do you want me to follow you?”
She half growled half exhaled an exasperated “
hurrumph
.” And she turned and left the room. I felt the burning eyes of the three Mrs’ on the back of my neck. I turned to Deputy Weir who just shrugged a “
get used to it boy
” shrug. I went out the back door deciding I needed the calm company of the monster in the cage.
Tucker wasn’t there so I just sat in the dirt a few feet from the monster. It growled and paced then finally it stopped just across from me. After a while it crouched on all fours, its’ four sectioned eyes locked onto me. I don’t know how long we sat there, the monster and me but at some point I started to talk to it. In response the monster would give long strings of hisses, growls, and clicks. I knew it didn’t understand me any more than I understood it. That was fine.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“hissssss, clickety-click.”
“Are you in there?”
“grrrrrr ssss”
“Why are you hunting us?”
“Rumble-rumble grrrr click”
“I hope you are not hurting”
“sssss !k!k!k”
“Will this ever end?”
“thhhhh sss click click”
“I know, I know it sucks.”
“ssssssssth”
The sun began to set and I rose from the dust, my monster just watched me, I asked it if it was thirsty. I looked at it and knew the answer, so I picked up a gallon jug of water and walked over to the chain link and poured the contents into the empty galvanized tub that was nestled against it. When it was empty I stepped away and watched. The monster rose and slowly moved on all fours to the tub and lowered its muzzle and drank. I looked around but saw no food so I said aloud that I would try and bring it something later. It raised its head and it tilted its face in the same way that dogs do when they are trying to figure out what its human was trying to say. I slowly walked down the hill, it was almost dinner time, and it was almost six. Twenty four hours to go.
Dinner was subdued, every one spoke quietly and I thought with exaggerated politeness. There was a sense of anticipation but there was as much dread. I honestly don’t think fear was the issue. Not like we imagine it to be. I noticed that the water in my glass was shaking and when Elaine noticed it too she put her hand on Rico’s knee which he had been nervously jiggling, he blushed and apologized. Mrs. Driscol smiled and put her hand over his and she told him don’t fret we all felt that way. Maybe I thought but it was more likely that every single person was handling the stress differently. Lucy was sitting between Elaine and Mrs., Driscol, I felt myself choke up, the fear in my little sister’s eyes was tangible and I wanted to go to her and tell her it would all be okay. But I had no idea if that was true or not so I kept my mouth shut.
You know that feeling you get when you just know something? Something that you can’t know? Something you shouldn’t know? I felt a shiver run up my spine and looked towards the other end of the table where the Deputy and Mrs. West were sitting side by side. They both seemed to be watching me, Weir smiled and Mrs. West nodded. I couldn’t say or do anything so I just looked down at my plate. Canned peas, instant mashed potatoes, fresh bread and salmon cakes. It was good, really it was but I had to force myself to eat it. I helped clean up and was just finishing in the kitchen when Karen came to me and asked if I wanted to play monopoly. I let her lead me upstairs and found Elaine, Lucy, and Mrs. Driscol were waiting for me. This was my family and I loved them, the before was gone. Dead and washed away in the effort of staying alive. I felt happy to be there, we played and we laughed. Lucy had incredible luck, Karen smiled at me and even touched my hand a few times, Amy hugged us all, she was our mother now and I knew she loved us. Elaine had put her arm across my shoulder and I found that I liked it a lot. Oh, and I was the shoe.
Day 26, D-Day
I fell asleep in their room and Karen woke me gently around 5 A.M.
“Come on Johnny, the strike team is getting ready to go.”
I blinked several times then rubbed my eyes. I looked up to see Karen staring at me with a weird smile.
“What?” I asked.
“Oh nothing.” she said.
Then she rubbed the top of my head and said,
“Hurry up doofus.”
Then she giggled and pulled me up off the floor. I barely had time to grab my rifle as she pulled me out the door. Our feet sounded like a herd of cattle rumbling down the stairs. Everyone was up and busy. The MRAP and the Humvee were running and their doors stood open. There was Lieutenant Klein helping one minute and barking orders the next, her short, dirty blond hair framing her face. Worry lines furrowed her brow, her hawkish face and intelligent eyes assured me that she would not leave anything to chance. I suddenly wished Tucker was going with them, he had the habit of doing what was needed when things didn’t go as expected. I realized I didn’t see Tucker but when I looked up I saw him on over watch. A rifle I had never seen before cradled in his arms and the binoculars held to his eyes, scanning the horizon.
My sister Elaine came up to me and hugged me tight, she whispered that she loved me and watch out for Lucy, then she added if I told anyone what she said she would kick my ass. I whispered that I loved her too and to come back soon. She stepped away and gave me a playful punch on the shoulder. She was wearing combat fatigues, her holster with her Russian seven-shooter on her hip. An M-4 slung over her right shoulder and her red bandana tied around her head to complete her outfit, Rico smiled at me and he followed Elaine towards the MRAP. I watched her climb into the war machine and I saw she was strong and brave and I was terribly proud of her. So different from the cell phone addicted nearly frantic teen from day one. I turned and saw Kyle and Karen hugging and then he turned to me and shook my hand before following Rico and Elaine.
I saw Lucy nearly asleep in Mrs. Hardy’s arms. Suddenly I felt sick, my stomach rumbled and I was afraid I would I would either vomit or mess myself. Karen threaded her arm in mine and asked if I was okay, she said I looked pale. I muttered that I was fine but she must have realized that was a lie because she pulled me close and laid her head on my shoulder then she whispered
“I’m not either.”
I realized two things that morning: I didn’t care that she was taller than me and yes, she was my girlfriend. Then just like that they were in the vehicles were gone:
Rico and Elaine, Kyle and Deputy Weir, Mrs. Driscol and Mrs. West, Lieutenant Klein, Janey and Kelsey. My friends and my family. I trembled as I realized I might never see them again, Karen said
“Let’s all get some breakfast.”
As we headed back up the stairs I saw Mrs. Boudreaux, Mrs. King, and the Livingstons watching the distant tail lights disappear behind the tree line at the bottom of the hill. I realized that they were just as nervous, just as scared as I was. We all stared hugging and I thought it was going to turn into a cry fest when Mr. Livingston said
“Come on now tears ain’t gonna help no one, we got lots of work to do and we can’t do it on no empty stomach!”
From the bottom of the steps Lucy’s tiny, sleepy voice said
“
Ain’t
is not a word Grampa Livingston.”
Then the strong voice of Mrs. Livingston added
“You tell him sweetheart.”
Everyone laughed, even in her sleep Lucy was always ready to correct improper English, I laughed at the image of her in front of a bunch of kids teaching school, the I realized that would never happen.
I don’t remember what was for breakfast, but I do remember that we switched from silence to kidding around several times as different people tried to lighten the mood. It sort of worked. We set out things for us to do because as Mr. Livingston pointed out,
“That for us to sit around and do nothing while the others were gone was just plain selfish.”
There was garden work, cleaning, dishes, cooking, and weapon maintenance, over watch, and someone was to be watching Lucy, Gina, and Jordan while they worked or had play time. I was to take over watch from Tucker at eight, I had a little time so I took some, well, unwanted bits to the monster in the cage.
The monster seemed to be getting used to me because it didn’t get agitated when it saw me, it didn’t run and cower like it did when Tucker was around. I gave it the food then as I turned to sit in my regular spot I saw that Tucker had put a bunch of those little orange flags that you used to see at construction sites in a long row, each was about 10 yards between them. I sighed, another experiment. Another way to torture, what should I call it? It was a monster but I was getting tired of the generic term, we needed a name for them and Zombie was just incorrect. I sat down and watched it eat.
“Who were you before?” I asked.
It looked at me for a moment then returned to its meal.
“You will never get back to what you were before will you?” I asked.
I wondered what Billy would say, and I suddenly felt guilty for not thinking of him more often. I suddenly thought of the kind of name that Billy would have suggested: a Zarn. A Gorron, or a Draith, something like that, something alien, something scary. It made me laugh out loud, this startled the prisoner and it looked at me like it had never heard that before, and then I had it, I knew what it was; a
Before.
I tried its name out a few times:
“Oh my, look out it’s a
Before
!”
“Is that a bear or a
Before
?”
“What were
Before
s before?”
“There are a least three or four
Before
s down there!”
The creature sat and watched me, it’s four part eyes moving in and out with each sentence as if it were trying to process it. The creature’s eyes went very wide, so much the exoskeleton shields were completely invisible and suddenly two shiny plates opened on its underside where the butt should be and brown liquid sprayed onto the ground. I laughed out loud again and the
Before
s eyes returned to normal as if to say “
really
?” I couldn’t stop laughing and said aloud
“Does a
Before
shit in the woods?”
The
Before
just sat there and watched me. I rose and told it that I would be back around dinner time. I stopped for a moment and said
“I’m sorry this happened to you.”
It clicked and whistled in response.
I was only a few minutes late but since I didn’t have a watch I figured that was okay. Tucker was scanning the horizon, he handed me the binoculars.
“Hey, John. There is either a fire or a dust cloud off to the East, best keep an eye on that.”
He said. I took them and asked him about the new rifle.
“Ahh, this is a Marlin guide gun, lever action, in .45-70.”
He said as he reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a huge round.
“Cheese whiz!” I said as I looked at it. “That thing is a cannon”.
“Yep, ‘supposed to kill anything in North America, those are 405 grain bullets as opposed to the 55 grain ones in the M-16.”
I handed it back and said “I hope so.”
“Tucker, where is your Thompson?” I asked.
“I gave it to Amy, just in case.”
He smiled sadly and started to head downstairs.
“Hey Tucker,” I said and he stopped “do you think they will all make it back?” I asked.
He stood there for a moment and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t at all sure.
“I hope so.” was all he said.
Time seemed to crawl by, I didn’t see the smoke he described, not at first but eventually I found it, it was like a smudge in the sky, far off in the distance but it bothered me. It didn’t look natural. I kept checking the perimeter but my attention was drawn back to the smudge, it had looked larger for a while but now it looked as if it was getting fainter again. Mr. Livingston came up just after lunch, he was carrying a shotgun, all black, long and deadly looking. It was one of the semi-auto 12’s we had picked up at the gun shop. We talked for a bit then I gave him the binoculars and showed him about where the smoke had been spotted.
Something wasn’t right, I could feel it in my bones, in my stomach in my heart. I sat at the lunch table and looked at the clock. One P.M. five hours to go. I swallowed hard and felt the butterflies return. Mrs. Boudreaux brought me my plate, there were beans and canned pears with toast and a big glass of some kind of energy drink they made from a powder. When I finished I took the plate into the kitchen and asked her where Tucker was.