“She’s going to sit him down right now and tell him. He’s been having a really hard time—poor little guy. She’ll call me as soon as they’re done so he can talk to me on the phone, and then he’ll be down this weekend.”
“Wonderful!” I clapped my hands. “I miss him, too. She wouldn’t let me see him anymore after…Well, you know.”
He nodded. “I’ll see what I can do to prevent that from ever happening again should I really drop dead.”
“That’s not funny, Michael.”
The following weekend was the best time any of us had had in months. None of us thought a reunion like this was possible. Michael almost fell apart when he saw Sean, and held him for a long time. As planned, we decorated the house, put up the tree, and made Christmas cookies. Once in a while, I’d
have to shake the thought that I was dreaming out of my head. It all seemed so surreal.
Naomi and Coop made frequent appearances, wanting us to spend New Year’s Eve with them in Cancún, but we declined. We had both traveled enough and wanted nothing more than to bring in the new year together at home.
For Christmas, Michael gave me a new diamond ring the size of a small country. My wedding ring had been damaged badly when my finger was severed. Speaking of my finger, the bandages had come off and the stitches were out. It was healing nicely.
Our meeting with Joseph had been postponed. The raids were taking longer than expected, so the processing wouldn’t get done until after New Year’s. The week between Christmas and New Year’s, I received a phone call from Alan Keane. He said he wanted to meet with me, but wouldn’t say why on the phone. He also strongly suggested that I not tell Michael right away about our meeting. We agreed to meet the following afternoon at a small park near downtown that had a large pond, Freedom Park.
I have to admit, curiosity about the purpose of the meeting was getting the best of me. I didn’t sleep well the night before and found myself nervous most of the day. My thoughts shifted back and forth in an attempt to figure out why he wanted to see me. Arriving half an hour early, I was startled to see that Alan was already there. He was sitting on a bench along the pond, throwing food to the ducks.
“Alan?” I walked up behind him and stood.
“CeeCee, it’s good to see you.” He stood up and turned around to shake my hand. “Here, there’s plenty of room for the both of us.”
Taking my place on the bench, I remained stoic. “What is it that you wanted, Alan?”
“First, let me say how glad I am that you’re okay. I can’t imagine what you went through and, well, I’m sorry.” His eyes looked down.
“I’m sure that’s not the reason you called me here…to tell me you’re sorry?”
“Believe it or not, that’s part of it.” He reached into the paper bag holding the duck food and threw some out to the waiting birds. “I know Michael explained everything, but yes, it was my idea. He never wanted to go along with it, CeeCee.”
“I know that now, and, apology accepted. What’s the rest of it?”
“You were amazing, you know, everything you did. Even I underestimated your intelligence, but I knew you’d pull through. I was doing some research, and it looks like you’ve helped the FBI out quite a bit over the years. You’re a rare find, CeeCee.”
I sighed. “What do you want, Alan?”
“I want you to come and work for me—for the FBI. It’s all been approved. We’re just waiting on your answer.” He was staring at me with a kind and gentle look on his face.
If someone had hit me in the back of the head with a ball bat right then, I wouldn’t have been more surprised. The FBI wanted
me
?
“I don’t understand, Alan. Why me?”
“The biggest bust-up in the history of organized crime has
you
to thank, that’s why. None of it would have ever happened without you. Please say yes, CeeCee. We need someone like you.”
My head was spinning, a familiar event these days. “What did Michael say about this?”
“I haven’t told him yet. I thought it would be best if you discussed it with him first. If you want time to think about it, take it. Talk to Michael. But please, I hope you give the offer serious consideration.”
Knowing I already had an answer, I didn’t feel right about stringing him along, so I told him.
“Alan, as flattering as your offer is, the answer is no. Being a federal agent is not me, nor will it ever be. I hope you can understand that.” I lightly shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do right now. This whole thing has shown me how precious and short life can be. Right now, I just want to spend time with Michael and the kids. If I
do
go back to work, it’ll be as a cop, a city cop. That’s what—and who—I am.”
He nodded, and remained silent for a short while. Reaching inside his overcoat, he pulled out a medium-size manila envelope and handed it to me.
“I understand, CeeCee. Here, take this.”
“What is it?” I took the envelope from him and began to open it.
When I pulled out the stack of photographs and saw the one on top, I stood up. Pulse racing and breathing heavily, I looked around, then back at the pictures. They were photographs taken of me the night I’d killed Tommy Miglia. They were photographs of me
actually killing
Tommy Miglia and dumping him into the bay.
“What is this, Alan? Is this a setup? Are you arresting me?” I braced myself, waiting for the other agents to swoop in and place me under arrest.
He shook his head. “No, CeeCee, it’s not a setup, you’re not being arrested, and what you hold there in your hand are the only copies. They’re yours to do with what you want.”
“But how? Why?”
“We had agents watching you in Florida. We had gotten information that Salvatore ordered the hit on you there. The agents took the photographs. It’s over, CeeCee. The authorities in Florida have closed the case. There’s no evidence, no witnesses. It’ll forever remain unsolved. As far as they’re concerned, it’s just another unknown Mafia hit. We know it was self-defense. ”
I was incredulous. “I don’t give a shit whether the case is solved or not! What I do give a shit about is the fact that I was almost beheaded by Tommy Miglia and his wire, and there were two agents that stood there doing nothing to help me! I could’ve died, Alan!”
“CeeCee, they were running over to help you when you stabbed him. They knew you had killed him and that you were okay. They called me immediately and asked me what to do.” He pleaded with me. “Don’t you understand, CeeCee? If we’d intervened then, the entire operation would’ve been compromised! Your life would’ve been in more danger! You would’ve had to live the rest of your life out in witness protection. Is that what you would’ve wanted?”
Shaking my head, feeling the tears burn my eyes, I knew he was right. It didn’t seem to me they had been in
that
big of a hurry to help me, if they took the time to take pictures.
Alan continued. He had calmed down considerably and lowered his voice. “Look, CeeCee, I’m sorry. I told them to leave you alone. I knew you’d be able to handle it. Once you destroy those pictures, the incident is forever washed clean.”
My voice shaking, I knew I owed Alan a substantial amount of gratitude.
“Thank you, Alan.” I already knew the answer, but I asked my last question. “Michael doesn’t know, does he?”
He shook his head. “No, and he never will, unless you tell him. I’m fairly sure he’d understand, considering the circumstances.” He smiled. “He loves you more than life itself, you know.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“Take care of yourself, CeeCee, and be well.”
Alan walked away, leaving me to stand by the bench holding an envelope that contained evidence of one of my darkest hours. After he left, I walked over to a metal garbage barrel that sat next to a picnic table. Taking my cigarette lighter out of my pocket, I lit a corner of the envelope and held it as it burned, dropping it into the barrel just before the flames reached my hand. Taking no chances, I made sure it burned completely before I took a small twig and stirred the ashes around inside.
Michael was in the kitchen starting dinner when I got home. Taking my coat off, I took a seat at the table.
“Where were you, hon?” He was putting spaghetti into a large pot of boiling water.
“I was with Alan Keane. He called yesterday and wanted to meet with me.”
Ignoring the spaghetti, Michael walked around the counter and sat down in the chair next to mine. He looked distraught—and surprised.
“What? Why? Why didn’t you tell me? What did he want?”
“He offered me a job.” I smiled at the look of shock on Michael’s face. “He said the FBI could use a gal like me.”
“What did you say?” His eyes narrowed to mere slits.
“No, of course.”
“And that was it?”
I hesitated. “That was it. The spaghetti smells good.”
Deciding at that moment that it was not in Michael’s best interest to hear about Tommy Miglia, I changed the subject. Maybe one day I’d tell him, but now wasn’t the time. It would upset him, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to talk about it.
Two days after my meeting with Alan, Sheriff Stephens paid me a visit. To be blunt, I was a little hurt that he’d waited this long to see me, which he addressed immediately.
“I wanted to give you time to settle in, CeeCee, before I came over, but I couldn’t take it anymore and just had to see you!” Walking through the door, he embraced me while slapping me gently on the back.
“It’s good to see you, too. I was beginning to think you had enough of my antics over the years and finally wrote me off!” I laughed. We sat in my living room.
“Don’t be ridiculous. How are you doing? You look wonderful!”
We spent the better part of an hour catching up. Michael made a brief appearance before sequestering himself back in his office. He was on a paid furlough of sorts from the FBI. Essentially, they told him to come back to work when he damn well pleased, a
subject the sheriff eventually got to in respect to my own situation.
“I want you back, CeeCee. Now I don’t mean tomorrow, or next week, but when you’re ready, your job is waiting for you.”
Sighing, I leaned back against the couch. “I don’t know, Sheriff. Honestly, I haven’t thought about it much. Everything that’s happened has allowed me to put some things into perspective about what’s important and what’s not. I just don’t know if the job is
as
important to me anymore.”
He grinned. “Oh, I think it is. Have you truly thought about what you have done? All of the lives you have saved because of the Mafia bust? You did it because
that
is who you are. You are a cop, and one of the best I’ve ever known.” He leaned forward, his eyes intense. “It’s in your blood, CeeCee. Three months from now when the dust has settled and your life is back together, you’ll be thinking. You’ll be thinking about how much you miss the job. I guarantee it.”
He was probably right, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it to him. I noticed Michael had returned. He stood in the entryway, listening to what the sheriff said. He was smiling, and without his speaking a word, I knew he agreed.
“Sheriff, I doubt it. I mean, I don’t think I can go back to that life again. Please understand.”
He looked crushed, and Michael’s smile faded. As the sheriff nodded and slowly stood up to leave, I knew at that moment I would never have another chance.
He was right: it was in my blood. If nothing else, knowing that I had saved the lives of possibly
hundreds of people sunk in. Who knew? If I went back, maybe I’d save more. Regardless, it was about the victims, the victims whose killer would never be caught or whose crime would go unpunished. People deserved better, and if it meant that by my returning to work, they got better, then I had my answer. Funny, I felt a slight flip of excitement when I made my split-second decision.
As Michael was opening the door for the sheriff, I giggled quietly to myself while I walked toward the both of them.
“Sheriff, wait. There’s been a slight change of plans…”
The day finally came when it was time to meet Joseph. Four days after New Year’s, to be exact. Today was also the day he would be leaving for his unknown destination.
So, excited about our meeting, I was up at sunrise, walking around the house, rehearsing what I wanted to say to him so that I wouldn’t forget. The ride to Fairport Harbor seemed to take forever. A small town east of Cleveland, it’s situated on Lake Erie. We would be meeting Joseph near the pier of the public-beach area. I’d been to Fairport Harbor before and was familiar with the place. It always reminded me of what Coney Island would look like if shrunken to the size of a pinhead. There were a couple of rides, carousels, and games situated along the beachfront. Since it was January, the area was completely desolate.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I saw a black SUV with two men in it parked in front of the pier. FBI agents, undoubtedly. The pier, which stretched approximately three hundred feet over the waters of Lake Erie, had three small benches at the end of it, one of which had Joseph Filaci sitting on it. Michael barely had the car stopped before I was opening the door.
“Is it okay to go?”
“Go on. I’ll wait here.” He smiled.
Walking toward the pier, I saw Joseph look in my direction and stand up. Not wanting to appear too eager, I maintained my quick pace toward him. Only when I was about thirty feet away did I say, “Fuck it,” and break into a run. Joseph’s smile was as wide as my own as I threw myself at him, hugged him tightly, and began to cry.
“Oh, Joseph, I thought you were dead!” I sobbed. “It scared the shit out of me!”
He broke our embrace to wipe the tears from my cheeks and smile at me. He led me to one of the benches, where we both sat down, and began to talk.
“I’m okay, CeeCee, really.” He breathed deeply. “If you only knew how good it is to see you. God, I couldn’t wait for this day to come. I was awake all last night because I was so excited.”
“Me, too.” I had calmed down.
“I was terrified they had gotten you after the club. When I woke up in the hospital, all I could think about was if you got away. None of the agents there knew anything at the time, so it was difficult for me. When Agent Keane told me that you were okay, I was so relieved.”
“I know the feeling.”
Joseph turned his head toward the parking lot and nodded before he looked at me again.
“You’ve got to be beside yourself with happiness, knowing Michael is alive.”
“You can imagine, it was a bit of a shock. He was one of the SWAT officers that rescued me at the funeral home. He took his mask off, and voilà! My
dead husband was back.” I stared out over the lake, remembering.
“Agent Keane told me what you went through.” He took my hand. “I’m sorry, CeeCee, I feel responsible. I should’ve been able to protect you better.”
I was stunned. “Joseph! It wasn’t your fault you got shot, for God’s sake! How could you think such a thing? I ought to slap you for saying that.”
“Go ahead…that’s how I feel.” He smirked.
“It’s utterly ridiculous.” I playfully punched his shoulder. “Now, I’m assuming you were updated on everything. How about those raids?”
“They were certainly something, weren’t they?” His smile faded.
“You don’t seem too happy about it.”
“A lot of people that I have known for many years went down that day, CeeCee. A lot of them went down because of me. I still don’t know how I feel about it, but like I told your husband, I just want to start over. And if giving everybody up allows me to do that, then so be it. Let the chips fall.”
“Joseph, are you sure this is what you want? I have to tell you that, knowing you, I was a little surprised when Michael told me you agreed to all of this.” The concern showed on my face. “What about your father?”
“I was allowed to explain everything to him, and he took it quite well, considering. Of course, he didn’t know that I gave everybody up. I told him how I helped you, how you gave us the files and protected our family, and how with your help Niccolo’s killers were brought down. I told him I had no choice but to go into the witness-protection program. I wanted out.”
“What did he say?”
“Shockingly, to me anyways, he understood. He said he didn’t want to lose both of his sons. He even played the grieving father quite well at my funeral, according to the agents. I’ll be able to meet with him several times a year, so we can still see each other. My mother passed away years ago, so I’m all he has left.” He paused. “He also wanted me to tell you, thank you.”
“And again, you’re sure this is what you want?”
“I’m sure. I’ve never been as sure about anything in my life.” His smile returned. “It was because of you.”
“What did I do?”
“You compromised everything to see that those men got what they deserved. Me? I would have probably just had everybody killed, but you, you put your own life on the line just so they could be tried through the legal system, the right way. Amazing.” He shook his head. “And all for the love of your husband.” He paused. “I never thought a love like that could exist, until I fell in love with
you
, CeeCee.”
My eyes felt the tears that began to surface out of nothing but pity. I can only imagine what it is like to love someone when the feeling isn’t reciprocated. He didn’t allow me to respond to his confession.
“I
needed
to tell you. I know that when I leave today, I’ll probably never see you again. I know you love your husband more than life, but for some foolish reason, I needed you to know. That’s all.”
I nodded and felt compelled to reply. “I care for you, and I’ll always wish you well, Joseph. If things were different, who knows? If it weren’t for Michael,
we wouldn’t have met in the first place. Start your new life, be happy, and never forget our friendship.”
He looked at the ground. “He’s lucky, your husband. I told him that, too. I could have lied and told him something happened between us when he asked, but I would never compromise your happiness. ”
“He asked you if something happened between us?” Michael had failed to relay that part of the conversation.
He nodded. “You can’t blame him. If you were my wife, and the circumstances that we were in arose, I’d be worried, too. Michael told me he will always owe me for helping you, and said thank you. Losing
you
would have to be one of the worst things in the world. I know, because my nights ahead will be dreams full of
you.
You’ll be forever in my heart, CeeCee Gallagher.”
“You’ll be in mine as well, Joseph.”
With nothing left to say, we strode down the pier hand in hand toward the awaiting agents for Joseph to begin his new life. I noticed I couldn’t see Michael anywhere. After one last embrace, I stood and watched as Joseph entered the waiting vehicle. Michael reappeared then, walking up from behind, encircling me in his arms. We both watched as they pulled away, Joseph giving a slight wave from the backseat. Then Joseph was gone. I wiped the last tear from my eye before I turned to Michael.
“Where were you just now?”
“Had to find a restroom—you guys took longer than I thought. How did it go?”
“It went well, but very sad. I hope things work out
for him. He deserves it,” I said in a voice that was almost inaudible. “That bothered you, didn’t it?” I referred to the hugs Joseph and I had shared.
He looked up at the sky and back at me, smiling. “Yes, it bothered me. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I understand, even though, you know, you are the only man I will ever love in my life.” I grinned widely.
“He was deeply in love with you, you know,” Michael said, just as quietly.
“How did you know that?”
“He told me, Cee.”
Evidently, Joseph had forgotten to relay his part of the conversation, just as Michael had left out a bit of his own. I had a feeling I would never know exactly what had been said between the two of them. I nodded as Michael and I, remaining silent and arms interlocked, walked out to the end of the pier. While looking out over the lake, Michael patted his coat and reached for something.
“What are you doing?”
“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
“C’mon, Michael, just—”
“Do it.”
Holding out my hands as ordered, I knew what Michael was putting into them. When he told me I could open my eyes, I felt a significant amount of delight in seeing my detective sergeant’s badge in one hand and department-issued weapon in the other.
“The sheriff thought you might need those when you go back to work.” He grinned.
“They’re good to see.” I wasn’t lying.
Since it was the right moment, I told Michael to do
the same. I had brought the item with me today, anticipating we would have time alone.
“It’s your turn. Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”
He smiled and looked at me skeptically, before he did as directed. As I placed the item in his hand, I told him he could open his eyes. When he looked down at it, his smile faded, replaced by a look of unreserved shock.
“This isn’t…Is this what I think it is?” He looked at me, breathing hard.
“Yes, Michael.” My own smile widened. “It’s what you think it is: a pregnancy test. As you can see, it’s positive.
We
are going to have a baby.”
Picking me off the ground and yelling aloud, Michael was thrilled. It was then, on that day, at that moment, that my life…began again.