Feeling ill and incredibly ashamed of herself, Susan went back to bed. Three times she’d managed to doze off, only to find that every time she opened her eyes, it wasn’t a bad dream – it had actually happened.
Hearing the first tap on the window, she thought nothing of it. Hearing the second, she removed the quilt from over her head. By the third tap she was convinced someone was out there and was chucking something at her window. Praying it wasn’t Royston, she nervously took a peep through the curtains. When she spotted Kevin waving furiously at her, Susan’s initial reaction was one of dread. If her mum saw him, there’d be ructions. Her mother had never told anyone, bar her nan, that Kevin had beaten her up. ‘If anyone asks, you had a fight with a girl. If the boys find out the truth, there’ll be murders, and I won’t have them gettin’ arrested.’
Convinced she’d been sussed, Susan was relieved to see Kevin looking happy. Wondering if it was just a ploy to get her outside, she opened the window. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked cautiously.
‘Nothing, I just wanna talk to yer.’
Full of suspicion, Susan stayed where she was. ‘What about?’
Kevin smiled. ‘About us, you div. Come out here, will yer? I can’t fucking talk to yer while you’re standing up there.’
Susan shook her head. ‘I’ll only come down if yer tell me what you wanna talk about.’
Pulling out the cheap bunch of flowers he’d hidden behind the wall, Kevin waved them at her. ‘Our future, all right. Getting a flat, trying for a baby. Fucking hell, Susan, what do yer want me to do, beg?’
Convinced he was now telling the truth, Susan urged him to wait around the corner.
‘I’ll meet you outside Old Man Tatler’s. Give us ten minutes or so.’
Kevin smiled as he walked away. The prostitute from last night had sucked his knob till it was red raw, but he wasn’t going back for seconds. From today onwards, there’d be no more tarts. He was determined to stay faithful to Susan, and make a proper go of it.
‘Bye, mum, I’m going round Tracey’s.’
‘Oi! Come in ’ere and say hello to—’
Maureen’s sentence was cut short by the slamming of the front door.
‘Ignorant little fucker,’ Ethel said, as she slurped her tea. With James and Freddie upstairs getting washed, Maureen cleared the rest of the breakfast things and sat down opposite Tommy.
‘I’ve got some good news for you, son. I meant to tell you before, but things have been a bit hectic.’
Tommy smiled. ‘What’s that then, Mum?’
Proud as a peacock, Maureen held his hand. ‘Your uncle Kenny’s offered you a job. He wants yer to work down one of his scrap yards and he said you’re to ring him as soon as he comes back off his holiday next week.’
Annoyed that his life had been organised without his say-so, Tommy stood up. ‘I’m not sure that working on the scrap is what I wanna do, Mum.’
Amazed by his lack of gratitude, Maureen tried to make him see sense. ‘Whaddya mean, it’s not what yer wanna do? Look how successful yer uncle Kenny is. Don’t yer wanna be like him?’
Not wanting to upset her, Tommy chose his words carefully. ‘Look, Mum, leave it with me and I’ll have a think about it. I’ve barely been out twenty-four hours and I need time to sort me head out first.’
Pursing her lips, Maureen was determined to have the final say. ‘It’s up to you boy, but remember, beggars can’t be choosers. I know you’ve done your bird, but on paper you’re still a murderer, Tom. Employers are hardly likely to be knocking on the door to offer you a job, are they, son?’
Tommy was saved from answering her by the reappearance of James and Freddie. Pissed off by his mother’s comments, he cracked open three beers and led his mate and brother into the living room. He glanced at the time, and saw it was eleven o’clock. The pubs would be open in an hour and he couldn’t wait to get out of the fucking house.
‘Ungrateful little bastard,’ Maureen moaned to Ethel. Ethel shrugged her shoulders. She’d had a gut feeling that Tommy wasn’t about to turn into the hard-working, reformed young man that his mother wanted him to be.
Kevin sat on the park bench and smiled at Susan. Handing her a can of cider, he spoke honestly. ‘Look, I know we’re not Romeo and Juliet, but I’m willing to make this work, if you are. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, what with you glassin’ Joanne and me beatin’ you up, but let’s forget all that. Look how happy Darren and Tracey are with their nice flat and baby on the way. If we stop playing silly games, that could be us, Suze.’
Momentarily lost for words, Susan smiled at him. She’d waited years for Kev to commit and now it was finally happening, she could scarcely believe her luck. Feeling there had to be a catch, she found her voice. ‘Of course I wanna be with yer. I’d love us to have kids and move in together, but the only thing that puzzles me is why now, Kev? It was only yesterday that you binned me, so why the sudden change of heart?’
Kevin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I dunno really. I suppose you walking out on me made me think about things. I know I’m a bastard to you at times, but I don’t wanna lose yer.’
Susan held her head high. For the first time ever it was Kevin doing the grovelling and she was loving every minute of it. ‘I’ll give it another go on one condition.’
‘What?’
Susan looked deep into his eyes. ‘That you stop wearing rubbers and we try for a baby straight away.’
Kevin paused before answering, ‘OK. But if we’re gonna have kids, you’ve gotta sort things out with your mum. I can’t be the father of her grandkids and still be barred from the house, can I?’
Susan nodded. Her mum would come round in time, surely.
Kevin put an arm around her shoulder. ‘I think we should get our arses up the council on Monday morning. With all these foreigners moving in round ’ere, we need to move fast. We can stick our name down and as soon as you get up the duff, we’ll probably get a flat straightaway.’
Susan agreed. ‘Lizzie Manning got one within a month of getting pregnant,’ she said excitedly.
Squeezing her hand, Kevin kissed her on the cheek. ‘So, how was the party?’
‘Oh, nothing special.’
Desperate to change the subject, Susan grabbed the flowers. ‘So what are these all about? My nan always says that if a man buys yer flowers for no reason, it’s to cover up his guilt.’
Feeling himself go all hot, Kevin opened another can. ‘What yer trying to say, Suze?’
Enjoying the wind-up, Susan nudged him. ‘Yer didn’t get hold of another bird last night, did yer?’
Feeling himself blush, Kevin gulped at his drink, ‘Don’t be so stupid, course I never.’
Remembering his dad’s words that when guilty, attack was the best form of defence, Kevin fronted it out. ‘If anyone copped off last night it was you. I sat in watching telly all night, you was the one at a party and you haven’t said much about it. If that ain’t a sign of guilt, then I dunno what is.’
Sensing her embarrassment, Kevin nudged her. ‘Go on, you can tell me. Was he as good looking as me? I bet his cock weren’t as big as mine.’
Susan couldn’t look him in the eye. ‘Stop being crude, Kevin, and don’t be so bloody childish. If we’re gonna make things work, you have to stop playing silly mind games.’
Kevin handed her another drink. ‘Sorry, I was only joking.’
Grabbing the cider, Susan downed it in one.
Maureen had popped up to the shop for some stain remover, and was now taking a fast walk home. She hadn’t been able to find her key, so had left the door ajar. As she walked into the hallway, she was greeted by hysterical laughter, but it wasn’t until she heard her name and Kenny’s that she realised they were the butt of the joke.
‘I know Mum means well, but fuck me, I ain’t working for no uncle Kenny. He’s a nice geezer, but such a boring cunt. I’d hang meself if I had to spend half me life in his company.’
James chuckled. ‘What yer gonna do then?’
‘Me and Freddie are gonna set ourselves up in business, ain’t we, mate?’
Freddie nodded and winked at James. ‘We’ve got plenty of ideas, but it’s all top secret at the moment. I promise you one thing, though, we’ll earn ourselves a lot of dough.’
Tommy laughed. ‘When you’re old enough Jimmy boy, you can come and work with us. Fuck all them boring jobs that Mum wants yer to do. Knocking your bollocks off for some other cunt is never gonna get you anywhere.’
Furious, Maureen stomped into the living room. ‘You can do what you like with your life, Tommy, but leave James out of it. He’s an intelligent boy with a bright future and don’t you dare try and lead him astray.’
Tommy stood up. ‘Calm down, Mum. I was only mucking about with him.’
Maureen shook her head. ‘I’ve been listening to yer for the last five minutes, and all you’ve done is take the piss out of me and poor Kenny. That man’s been fucking good to you. Many a time he gave up his weekends to ferry us about, so you wouldn’t be without a visit. And as for the job he’s offered yer, I bet he don’t even need anyone. Probably just found something for yer out the goodness of his heart.’
Although he felt a bit guilty, Tommy wasn’t about to apologise. How dare she talk to him like a child and make him look a mug in front of Freddie. ‘I don’t need all this shit, Mum. I ain’t fuckin’ arguing with yer any more, I’m off down the pub.’
Nodding to Freddie and James to follow him, he stormed towards the front door.
Maureen chased after him. ‘You can go exactly where you like, Tommy Hutton, but he’s not going with yer. Filling his head with a load of shit and prison talk, I’m not having it. James, get your arse back ’ere now.’
At his brother’s insistence, James kept on walking. ‘Come on, bruv, we’re going for a beer. You’re nearly sixteen, for fuck’s sake, you need to get a grip on life. Nan, Mum, Susan, Maria, you’re surrounded by women. Don’t let ’em rule your life. You need to be tougher, start sticking up for yerself.’
Torn between the devil and the deep blue sea, James didn’t know what to do. His mum was still calling him and even though he hated disobeying her, he had to stand his ground for once. If he didn’t, he’d look a right dick in front of his brother and his mate. Anyway, Tommy was right. He needed to be more of a man if he was gonna turn his life around.
‘See yer later, Mum. I won’t be late,’ he shouted.
While Maureen debated whether to chase James up the road and drag him back by force, Ethel stepped in. ‘Just leave it, Maur. Don’t make a show of yourself, sort it out later, eh?’
Enraged, Maureen slammed the door. She’d convinced herself that Tommy was a changed lad – how silly was she? He might have looked as though butter wouldn’t melt while he was in prison, but in reality he hadn’t altered one iota.
Handing her a brew, Ethel tried to calm her down. She wasn’t as naive as her daughter-in-law and had seen this coming all along. ‘You can’t make him work for Kenny if he don’t want to, Maur. He’s twenty-five years old, a grown man and you’ve gotta let him make his own choices in life. Chances are, he’ll fuck up again, but that’s his lookout. You’ve guided him as far as you can, love, the rest is up to him.’
Maureen sat down and put her head in her hands. Tommy was obviously a lost cause, just like his father, but James needed protecting. Loveable and intelligent, he’d been the light of her life since the day he was born, and she wasn’t about to watch him be led up the garden path. Trouble was, he was still wet behind the ears, an easy target, and she didn’t want him knocking about with Tommy.
Ethel rubbed her arm. ‘Come on, love, don’t get all upset.’
Fiercely wiping her tears away, Maureen stood up.
‘I’ll tell you something now, Mum, and I really fuckin’ mean it. One whiff of Tommy leading James astray and I’m kickin’ his arse out. That boy’s got his exams coming up and a bright future to look forward to. I won’t allow him to turn out like his brother. May God be my judge, it ain’t gonna happen.’
FIFTEEN
Susan studied the instructions and put them back in the box. Kevin had gone to sign on and she’d best wait for him to come home before she did the actual test. It was three months since they’d first started trying for a baby and now, she’d properly missed a period.
Lying down on her boyfriend’s bed, Susan smiled. Ever since that day on the park bench, when they’d decided to give it a proper go, Kevin had been a different person. He’d cut down on his puffing, stopped going out with his mates and even when they did argue, he never knocked her about any more. He still refused to go to work, but had promised her faithfully that when they had a flat and kids on the way, he’d look for a job.
Susan sighed. He was a good ’un, her Kev, and to think she’d nearly fucked things up. The Royston episode was now a distant memory, one she’d thankfully blanked out. She had not seen him since the party, and was sure he’d never opened his mouth. She often bumped into Tibbsy, Benno and Dave Taylor and they’d definitely have taken the piss out of her if they’d had an inkling about what had gone on.
Patting her stomach, Susan wondered if Kev’s baby was already inside her. She’d been a bundle of nerves during the first month they’d tried to conceive. Soon after insisting that they try straightaway, she realised that she couldn’t remember if Royston had worn a johnny or not. Paranoid, she’d tried to back-pedal.
‘Why don’t we wait a few weeks, Kev. We need to make sure we’re getting on all right and things are gonna work out between us before we bring a poor little baby into our lives.’
Kevin was having none of it. He was desperate for a council flat and gagging for a son.
‘Don’t fuck me about, Susan. You was the one that wanted kids straightaway, and now I’ve got used to the idea, yer wanna change all our plans.’
Unable to get out of the hole she’d dug for herself, Susan gave in. She managed to feign a few migraines, stomach aches, that type of stuff, but spent the rest of the month praying for her period to arrive. As luck would have it, God was on her side. A spot of blood had never made Susan dance around the room before, but that month it did. Relieved of her burden, Susan had leaped on Kevin a few days later and they’d been at it like rabbits ever since.