The Beauty in Between: Too Close (A Beautiful Series Novella) (4 page)

This time I
wasn’t going there for me, I was going there for her. I needed to
apologise.

“What are you
doing here David? Haven’t you done enough?” she asked through the
screen.

“I’m sorry
Trina. Let me in. I just want to talk.”

Reaching up,
she twisted the hinges that locked the screen in place and popped
it out for me to catch. I placed it on the ground beside me and
climbed through with a tumble. She was pissed at me, so I guess she
didn’t want to help.

“I hope you’re
not planning on sleeping here.”

“No, I plan on
talking.”

“Why don’t you
want me to have a boyfriend?”

“I do Trina.
It’s not about that – it’s just…” I sat on her bed and recounted
the whole evening for her. Telling her what happened with Cassie
and then how Brian had told me about how all the guys were trying
to get lucky because the girls were giving away their virginity.
“In the same breath he told me Ben was with you, and I guess I just
freaked out. You don’t hear how those guys talk Trina – they’re
filthy.”

“And you’re
friends with them?”

I just shrugged
in response. Knowing that the only real reason I was friends with
those guys was because they were the male equivalent of Trina’s
group, and it meant that we both got invited to the same
parties.

“Has Ben
actually said that he was going ‘after’ me?”

I shook my head
and scratched it sheepishly. “They’re ah, actually under the threat
of death to stay away from you.”

The moment I
saw her mouth drop open I apologised. “I was just trying to keep
you safe. Plus, I guess it’s kind of like hearing people talk about
your sister. It made me feel weird.”

Sighing, she
sat down on her bed, sliding back until she was pressed against the
wall. “I believe you, by the way – about Cassie. She’s been so
jealous that Mara knew about sex, and she didn’t. It’s weird. It's
like a few of the girls have all decided that just because they’re
sixteen and legally allowed to have sex now that they need to give
up their virginity.”

“Well, lucky
you’re still fifteen then huh?”

“Whatever
David, I’m not giving it up. I’m not stupid you know. I know that
everyone will talk about it and to be honest, I’m nowhere near
ready. I have like zero experience with boys. I'm not about to leap
from first kiss to having sex in a few months. So you can relax.
Alright?”

“Trina. That
was not your first kiss.” I repeated softly.

“That doesn’t
count David. You said it yourself, it’s like I’m your sister. It
doesn’t count.”

“Well I count
it as my first kiss.”

She slid
forward on the bed and slipped her arms around my neck, sighing as
she gripped me tightly. Hugging her back, I inhaled deeply, taking
great comfort in the smell of her hair – I don’t know if the smell
is just her or her shampoo, but it smelt like home to me.

Pulling away
she looked into my eyes. “Can we make a deal here and now?”

“Sure,” I
replied, drawing out the word suspiciously.

“We stay out of
each other’s relationships. I can’t have you going all big brother
on me every time you see me with a guy. I already have a big
brother and he’s protective enough all on his own. You are my best
friend, and I want it to be that way forever. If we start getting
mixed up in this relationship stuff, then it’s going to ruin
us.”

“Alright,” I
said, clenching my jaw in the knowledge that this would be a hard
task to accomplish.

“I’m serious
David. No more dragging me out of places.”

“I said
alright. It’s fine Trina. I promise,” I smiled.

“Thank you,”
she grabbed my face in her hands and kissed my cheek happily. “Now
go home so we can both get some sleep.”

“Fine,” I said,
climbing back out the window. “But you can deny it all you want
Trina. I was still your first kiss.” I jumped backwards laughing as
she attempted to hit out at me and climbed back over the fence,
giving her a small salute as I dropped down to the other side out
of her sight.

The next week
at school, things changed drastically for me and Trina. Ben started
hanging around her more and more, and suddenly I was getting a huge
amount of attention from the other girls.

I have to admit
that I was a little ticked off that Katrina was so ready to go and
hang out with Ben during school and basically ignore me until we
were on the bus going home. It’s kind of the reason why I justified
spending more time with Cassie, even though she’d gone and told
everybody those lies about me.

Cassie’s
parents worked a lot, and were seriously lax in their parental
supervision when they were home. Our group used to spend a lot of
weekends at Cassie’s house, having parties in this little
self-contained living area – The Granny flat. Every teenager wishes
their family had one for them to hang out in. It had one bedroom, a
bathroom, and a small living area with a simple kitchen.

It was about
two weeks after the dance at school that we were all there again,
Katrina had gone to sit by Cassie’s pool and ‘talk’ to Ben, and I’d
done my best to be cool with that and just focus on what was
happening inside with everyone else.

“Can I talk to
you?” Cassie asked, coming up to stand beside me.

“Sure,” I
shrugged, not paying that much attention as my eyes flitted toward
the sliding door through which I could see Trina and Ben sitting
together with their feet in the water.

“In private,”
she said, inclining her head toward the bedroom door.

I followed her
eyes and then looked back at her. “I don’t know if I want to do
that Cassie, you kind of made shit up about me last time we were on
our own.”

“Well, that’s
kind of what I want to talk to you about,” she whispered, giving me
one of those big round eyed pouty looks that girls are so good
at.

“Fine,” I said,
earning a broad triumphant grin from her as I followed her into the
room under the watchful eyes of everyone else in the flat.

Now, Cassie was
hot. She’d grown her hair, and it fell into these long glossy waves
that touched just below her shoulder blades. She had big blue eyes,
full lips, and curves in all the right places. I was attracted to
her looks, but I was wary of her personality. I wasn’t sure what I
was about to get myself into by entering the room with her.

“Firstly, I
want to apologise. I shouldn’t have let them think that we had sex
when we didn’t.”

“Alright,” I
said, dropping my guard a little as I leant against the wall while
she stood in front of me.

“And secondly,
I wanted to know if you maybe wanted to go out with me?” she
asked.

“What? Like be
your boyfriend?”

“Well yeah,
that’s what ‘going out’ means isn’t it?”

“Um, listen
Cassie, you’re a nice girl and all, but I’m not interested in
having a girlfriend right now.”

“So you’ll make
out with me, and you’ll dry hump, but you won’t actually date
me?”

“If I recall
correctly, it was you doing the dry humping.”

“It’s because
of Katrina isn’t it?”

“What? Why
would it be about Katrina?”

“Because you’re
like, always together.”

“She’s my best
friend,” I shrugged. I felt that was all the explanation that was
required.

Cassie sat down
on the bed in a sulk and folded her arms across her chest.

“I’m sorry if I
upset you. I just don’t want a girlfriend, and it has nothing to do
with you or Katrina, or anyone. I just don’t want one.”

“Don’t you
think I’m pretty enough?” she pouted.

Feeling sorry
for her, I sat on the bed next to her and lifted her face by the
chin so she was looking at me. “Cassie, you’ve got a mirror. You
know you’re gorgeous.”

And that’s when
she kissed me. At first, I didn’t respond, but a little voice
inside me said ‘What the hell? They all think you’re in here
screwing her anyway.” So I went with it, and this time when she
reached for my belt. I let her.

***

I wish I could
say that was the one and only time that Cassie and I had sex, but
it wasn’t. I guess for me, I felt that I may as well be doing the
thing I was being accused of. I told Cassie that it didn’t mean we
were together in any way. I refused to spread my time between two
girls. Katrina came first for me.

Although,
Katrina obviously didn’t feel the same way. On that same night, her
and Ben became a couple.

“So is it true
that you slept with Cassie at the party on Saturday?” she asked me
on the way home from school, the next Monday.

“I thought we
were going to stay out of each other’s relationships? I haven’t
asked you what’s going on with you and Ben,” I responded.

“Yeah but…
you’re not in a relationship with her are you? I mean, you just
slept with her… with everyone outside the bedroom door…”

Honestly, I
couldn’t meet her eye. My own reasoning over the situation had made
me ok with it, but hearing Katrina’s take on it, made me feel like
I’d done something wrong.

Instead, I
covered my disappointment in myself up with anger. “Just leave it
alone alright. If I wanted to talk to you about it, I would have
brought it up myself,” I bit out at her before standing up from the
seat we were sharing and walking toward the back of the bus,
sliding up against the window and staring out as I chewed on my
thumbnail, bouncing my leg in agitation.

I saw her
glance at me a couple of times. I could see that I’d hurt her
feelings, but I guess I was hurt or maybe embarrassed. I don’t
really know which one. All the constant talk about sex at school
was obviously getting to me.

As we got off
the bus, Katrina was waiting for me, so we could walk together. “Do
you still want to come over and do our homework? I promise not to
ask you anymore questions about… well, you know...”

“So, Ben’s your
boyfriend now?”

“Ah, yeah, he
is.”

“Is that going
to change things between us?”

“I hope not,
David. But I guess that’s up to you.”

We stood for a
moment looking at each other. We had agreed to stay out of each
other’s relationships, but it was kind of strange having other
people around that would be taking our attention away from each
other.

“Alright. No
more relationship questions.”

“Deal,” she
said, taking a few steps forward before turning back to me, “Are
you coming?”

“Yeah, I’m
coming,” I said, jogging a couple of steps to catch up to her. As
much as all this relationship stuff felt like a big elephant in the
room at this point, there was no way I was going to let some guy
get in between me and Katrina. We’d been too close for too long to
let anyone come between us now.

Throughout the
majority of year ten, my time with Katrina became limited as she
spent much of her time with Ben and their flourishing relationship.
At school, they were the ‘it’ couple and seemed picture perfect,
Katrina with her long honey hair and clear blue eyes, and Ben with
his dark hair and dark features – they looked like movie stars
together.

While Katrina
was off with Ben, I started to explore the effect I had on the
opposite sex. I wasn’t sure why, but they all seemed very
interested in getting me alone. I didn’t sleep with all of them,
but they were all very willing to get involved in a lot of heavy
petting. While it felt good, it was meaningless. I missed my
friend's constant company. I was simply filling the void.

Eventually, it
got back to me that the girls were fascinated about the size of my
cock. There were comments about it written in the girl’s toilet
block. Suddenly, I felt like a circus act and backed away from all
of them. I went into the girls' toilets after school one day with a
sheet of sandpaper and scrubbed the comments away. Seeing them
there made me feel really cheap. I’d never once bragged about
anything I did with girls. I couldn’t understand why they’d write
things about me for the whole school to see.

Since Ben and
Katrina were practically joined at the hip, I didn’t have much of a
reason to stay with the ‘celeb’ group. It really wasn’t that fun
watching her and Ben cozy up in a corner, so I started to choose
other things to do instead and slowly started to hang out with the
group Loren and Erin were in.

Trina of course
noticed me pulling away, and when I explained to her that I was
getting sick of the sex obsession they all had, she completely
understood, saying she was pretty tired of all the talk too. If it
wasn’t for Ben, she’d probably break away from that group with
me.

“It reminds me
of how things were when we first started high school, you hanging
out with one group, and me with another. It’s kind of sad,” she
said.

“I suppose, but
you have to admit that you’ve been pretty caught up with Ben these
last few months. I didn’t really spend that much one on one time
with you anyway.”

“I guess, well,
I’ll make sure I see you after school, I’m sure we’ll be ok.”

“Trina, you and
I will always be ok.”

Cassie wasn’t
quite as understanding as Trina was. Despite knowing that I had
been with other girls besides her, she seemed to think she had some
kind of claim on me. I get that sleeping with her a few times must
have meant something to her, but I was always clear with her. I was
always honest, so I didn’t understand what her deal was.

She was quite
put out with me for refusing to take her as my date to the year ten
formal, although she kept calling it a prom – she’d watched so much
Gossip Girl, that I seriously thought she was deluded about what
country she was in.

Some of my
other friends were planning on hiring a limo together and going as
a group, and I was happy to be in on that. Trina wanted to join in
too, but Ben had other plans. Plans that I eventually overheard
when I was in the change rooms after our school's sports
afternoon…