The Bare Bum Gang and the Holy Grail (10 page)

‘And I’ll take these as well, as a bit of insurance. You wait here until we’re gone, or I’ll smash ’em up, OK?’

He said this looking at Jenny. They were all afraid of her because of her tae kwon do expertise. Jenny’s hands curled into fists, her knuckles white with rage.

‘You’re a nasty stupid swine,’ she said.

Dockery laughed. ‘Stupid? Nah! Reckon you’re the stupid ones, leading us straight to the treasure. Good old Larks here heard some of what that loony tramp told you about it, and we thought it was a bit selfish of you to want to keep all that loot for yourselves. We’ve been spying on you lot ever since.’

‘Filthy sneaks,’ I said.

‘Filthy rich sneaks!’ he smirked. ‘Come on, guys,’ he said to his gang. ‘Let’s go and buy some sweets, and leave these losers to stew.’ Then he turned to me again. ‘And remember, you wait till we’re out of this place before you move, or I’ll smash your precious binoculars into a thousand pieces. If you’re a good boy you can come and collect them from our den tomorrow.’

And then they were out of there, cackling and sniggering and slapping each other on the back.

Chapter Thirteen

THE GRAIL

‘I ALWAYS SAID
that was a rubbish dog,’ moaned The Moan after they’d gone.

‘It’s not really Rudy’s fault,’ I replied sadly. ‘He does like a dog biscuit, and we ought to have checked to make sure we weren’t being followed. It’s something you always have to do when you’re on a secret mission.’

‘What now, then?’ asked Jenny.

‘We could tell the police?’ Noah suggested.

‘What,’ said The Moan, ‘and explain that we’d sneaked into this place, when it clearly says that trespassers will be
prosecuted
? Great idea. We’ll all end up in jail, and I’ll get my pocket money suspended for at least a year.’

‘Do you always have to think about yourself?’ said Jenny, and I knew one of their special sister-and-brother arguments was going to get started, which usually ended up with The Moan rolling around on the floor in agony.

‘Let’s see what this is,’ I said, taking out the book to try to distract them.

In fact it wasn’t a book but a photograph album. I opened the cover. There were ancient black-and-white photos of a child sitting up in a big pram. The next page had pictures of the baby being held by a lady in a hat.

As I turned the pages, we watched the baby grow into a little boy, and then a big boy. There were other children – brothers and sisters, I suppose. And a man with a big moustache who must have been his dad. And at the end there was a picture of a young
man
in army uniform, standing smartly to attention.

To begin with, the gang carried on grumbling and complaining, but soon they were as lost as I was in the old photographs.

‘I don’t get it,’ said Jamie. ‘Why has King Arthur got all these photos of that kid?’

‘It’s him, you chump,’ said The Moan.

‘Who?’

‘The kid in the photos, it’s King Arthur.’

‘Really? Oh, yeah, I get it. When he was
a
baby. And then when he was older.’

‘It’s the one thing he’s got, from before he was a tramp,’ said Noah.

And then it came to me in a flash of golden light.

‘Wait, don’t you see,’ I said. ‘This is it. This is the Grail, the treasure. Not that silly old jar of pennies. Like The Moan said, that was only a few pounds. But this . . . this is precious. How can you put a price on a man’s memories, on his life? That’s why he wanted us to bring it to him.’

The others nodded. Jenny looked like she might be about to cry. Noah already was.

‘It’s so sad,’ he said, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks.

‘I think this might cheer you all up,’ said The Moan, who was looking out of the window.

We all went over. Miles below we could see the Dockery Gang. Five little figures.

Running.

They were running because they were being chased.

By Zoltan!

And, right behind him, the security guard, who was waving his truncheon over his head.

They made it to the tunnel just ahead of the dog. Dockery was the slowest runner, and he was the last one in. The dog followed him. I didn’t want to think about what was going to happen next. Well, I did really, and anyway, Jamie put it into words.

‘He is going to get his butt bitten to mincemeat.’

We all had a good laugh at that.

‘But it means we’re trapped, doesn’t it?’ said Noah. ‘The guard and his dog, they’ll be by the tunnel . . . How can we get out?’

‘Actually,’ I said, ‘I’ve been thinking about that. I don’t reckon King Arthur could have got in and out through that tunnel. He’s an
old
man. He couldn’t crawl through there on his hands and knees. He must have used some other way in and out. If we could find that . . .’

We all scanned the fence, looking for the new secret escape route.

‘Look over there!’ Jenny squealed, pointing to a part of the fence on the opposite side of the tower to the tunnel.

I followed her pointing finger. At first I couldn’t see anything. Then I noticed that the bottom of the fence had been peeled back to make a little doorway.

‘That’s it,’ I said. ‘Our path to freedom! Let’s go, before Zoltan finishes chomping on Dockery’s bum.’

‘Well, there is quite a lot of it,’ said Jenny, which made us all laugh, again.

Chapter Fourteen

THE ESCAPE

I PUT THE
photo album back in the pretty box, picked it up and led the way down the stairs.

It was a lot easier than running up, on account of the Law of Gravity, which Jamie once called the Law of Gravy in school, which even made Miss Walsh laugh. At the bottom we crashed out of the doors and ran full speed for the corner with the broken fence.

It was looking good.

We were going to make it.

Or so I thought.

The first thing I noticed was Rude Word pricking up his ears. And then I heard what I been dreading – the distant sound of a savage dog, barking. The others heard it too, and everyone ran faster.

I looked back and, yes, there was Zoltan on our trail. And behind him, as ever, the nasty guard. But the fence and the hole were only a few metres away.

Looking back was my big mistake. First I felt a slight squelchiness. And then I found that I couldn’t run. It was as if my legs had been grabbed by some kind of creature that lived in the ground, some sort of earth ogre, say, or a giant spider. Then I looked down and saw it was far, far worse.

I was trapped in the deadliest substance known to humankind.

Sinking mud.

Or, possibly, quicksand.

Somehow the rest of them had all missed
it
, but I was trapped, and being gradually sucked down. The mud patch was about as big as the mat you use to play Twister. The more I struggled, the more I sank.

It was a classic mistake.

When you get stuck in sinking mud (or quicksand), you must not struggle but try to pull yourself out using a handy tree branch. But there weren’t any. I tried to remember what else you should do.

Oh yes, that was it.

‘HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!’

Noah heard and turned. The others were already at the fence. He called to them and they all ran back to me together.

Rude Word was the first to reach me, but rescuing boys from quicksand
(or
sinking mud) was definitely not one of his skills. He sat down and did a bit of bum-licking.

My legs had now sunk in up to the knees. If the mud reached my waist I’d be as good as dead.

The others reached me.

‘Throw me the box,’ said The Moan. ‘It’s making you sink.’

I tossed him the box, and he caught it nicely.

‘Give me your hand,’ said Jamie, stretching out.

I reached and reached, but couldn’t make it.

‘That dog’s nearly here,’ said Noah.

‘I know, I know,’ I said, trying to control the panic rising in my breast.

I suppose I’d been waiting for this moment all my life. It was the moment of destiny. The moment when I showed what a true leader I was.

‘Save yourselves. Just leave me. You’ll have
time
to escape while he savages me.’

‘Never,’ said Noah, and the others all grunted in agreement. ‘We’ll get you out.’

Zoltan was almost there. We could hear his panting breath, hear his pounding hooves. I mean paws, but they sounded like hooves. And the shouts of the guard reached us now as well.

Then I remembered the supplies.

‘Jamie, the scotch egg – throw it to Zoltan, it may slow him down.’

With surprising speed, Jamie got the scotch egg out of his bag, took a quick bite out of it – like a US Marine pulling the pin out of a hand grenade with his teeth – and hurled it towards the beast.

As the scotch egg fell, so Zoltan leaped. He caught the scotch egg in mid-air, and swallowed it without even pausing.

‘The sausage roll, Jamie, now!’

Jamie threw the sausage roll to the side of Zoltan. It was too tempting, and the
big
dog swerved to intercept it.

We’d gained ourselves a few seconds.

‘Hold my hand,’ said Jenny to Jamie. He took it. Then she reached out to me. Noah held Jamie’s other hand, the three of them forming a human chain. A human chain of friendship. I touched Jenny’s fingertip. Then her hand was in mine.

‘Pull!’ she yelled to everyone.

But it was too late. Zoltan had scoffed the sausage roll, and his attention was focused on us again. He galloped towards us and prepared to make his killing lunge, with his jaws open, his mouth watering, his teeth at the ready. We cringed, awaiting the monster’s attack.

It never came.

At my side I saw a brown blur, and Rude Word sprang into action. OK, more of a waddle than a spring, but there he was, putting his fat body in between me and Zoltan.

The hellhound stopped in his tracks, and
the
vicious look on his face changed. He put his head on one side in a puzzled kind of way. Rude Word just sat there. Then Zoltan sat down opposite him. They stretched out their noses and sniffed each other. Then their noses touched.

‘I think they’re kissing,’ said Jenny.