‘Oh, please, Kate. That’s total rubbish. An insult to human intelligence. Are you trying to tell me that nature cares about high cheekbones and long eyelashes?’
‘It’s true! Now, are you nearly ready?’
‘Just the old eyeliner to apply.’
‘In that case, Quigley’s, here we come!’
‘Kate, we’re not –’
‘You know, you should have your hair updated. Get some layers put in. That flat bob look was over five years ago. And buy some new clothes. You’re like a mad granny in that old blouse. Is it meant to be that colour, or is it just faded? It’s far too big for you. Here, put this belt over it. Cover up that missing button.’
‘No, Kate. I like my clothes baggy. And pink plastic does not go with antique silk. I thought you were supposed to be a fashion expert?’
‘Shirley, you’re hopeless!’
‘I mightn’t bother going shopping now. Or to Hogan’s, either. You’ve spoilt the mood for me.’ Shirley did fancy herself as a mysterious, Bohemian, left-wing kind of girl, but it was a very fragile fantasy indeed, and didn’t stand up to too much criticism.
‘You’re going into that record shop, and that’s the end of it. You’ve been driving me crazy, moping over Declan Greenwood for months now. The sooner you ask him out, the better. And you’ll be at Hogan’s tonight as well, no matter what happens in Quigley’s. I’ll finally get to dance with Alex Stone tonight. I just know it.’ She stood up and stepped into some silver sandals with see-through heels. Shirley was tempted to have a good sulk, but there was no point. Kate never paid attention to the moods of other people.
‘Don’t you mean
Standing Stone?
’ Shirley said, playing with her strand of beads. ‘That’s what they call him. That’s all he ever does: stand against the wall in Hogan’s.’
‘That’s the beauty of it. I always know where he is. Not like some men. Up until now, all we’ve done is talk.’
‘He talks to all the girls, Kate. He’s just doing his job.’
‘I want him, Shirley, and I’m going to get him.’
‘Oh, dear, here we go again on the merry-go-round of love. Do you never get dizzy? He can’t dance with you, anyway, Kate. Bouncers aren’t allowed to romance the ladies while they’re on duty.’
‘They are if Johnny Hogan’s not about.’
‘Are you actually going to ask him for a dance?’
‘Don’t be silly, Shirley. He’ll be the one doing the asking.’
‘How? I don’t get it. You’ll have to spell it out for me.’
‘Look, I told Alex something about that girl he fancies, that cheeky piece who works in the newsagent’s. Louise Lowry.’
‘What did you tell him?’ Shirley asked, with a sigh. Kate’s ambitious schemes usually ended in tears.
‘Nothing much. Just that she has a glass eye.’ Kate admired her ankles in the dangerously high sandals. ‘Speaking of which, aren’t these glass
heels
simply divine?’
‘Kate! How could you! And it’s a crazy thing to say. How many people have glass eyes? Louise’ll find out what you said and come after you!’
‘Who’s gonna tell her?’ asked Kate.
‘She’s got hands on her like two bricks. Have you noticed that? She’ll flatten you like a pancake. Even hardened shoplifters won’t go in that shop.’
‘How will she find out? Alex won’t be talking to her now, will he? He’ll avoid her like the plague. He almost threw up when I told him.’
‘Did he really? How prejudiced,’ Shirley gasped.
‘He’s
phobic
around disability. Phobic isn’t the same as prejudiced,’ Kate said firmly. Shirley shook her head. This was much worse than the time Kate had lied about her height on the stewardess application form, and then tried to convince them at the interview that their tape measure was faulty. And
then
calling the other girls nothing but a bunch of glorified waitresses when she was asked to leave the room. As if she could
ever
have convinced them that she wasn’t six foot tall in her bare feet. Kate and Shirley were the tallest girls in Belfast, but that didn’t stop Kate wearing high heels. Boys sometimes asked her if she needed oxygen up there, or if it was going to rain the next day.
‘I don’t believe you sometimes. You don’t even like him that much. You just want him because Louise wants him,’ said Shirley.
‘Not true. I like him. He’s taller than me, for one thing.’
‘Oh, Kate! Anyway, he’s only a bouncer. I wouldn’t have thought he was your type. I thought you wanted a rich husband?’
‘I do want a rich husband,’ admitted Kate. ‘But I do like Alex. A lot. He’s only bouncing temporarily. Look, I’ll tell you a secret, but you must keep it to yourself. Alex stands to inherit a chain of jewellery shops from his elderly uncle, but nobody knows about it.’
‘Are you out of your mind? Come on, Kate. He’s not one of
those
Stones.’
‘He is. His mate, Jim, told me in confidence, but he swore he’d deny it if I let the word get out. So you see, I’ve got to be his girlfriend before the old uncle pops his clogs, otherwise Alex will think I’m only after his money.’
‘Aren’t you?’ Shirley asked.
‘Of course not. He’s a walking dreamboat, or haven’t you noticed?’
‘No. A bit muscle-bound, for me. I like men who are slightly underweight and over-educated, not the other way round.’
‘He’s got lovely hair, though. You’ve got to admit, he’s got a lovely head of hair. Natural blond. Thick as a thatch.’
‘Him, or his hair?’ Shirley laughed.
‘His
hair
. Will you
stop
asking questions and do your face!’ Kate almost shouted.
Shirley pulled a black eyeliner pencil out of her purse and traced a thick line across the delicate skin beneath each eye. Kate shook her head. No foundation, powder or blusher ever settled on Shirley’s face. And she could do with it – she was as pale as death. They both were. Everyone in Belfast was; there were only five days of sunshine each year, on average.
‘I’m sure you’ll be very happy together,’ said Shirley, smudging the black lines with her index finger. The blue of her eyes was greatly intensified. She smiled at her sister. ‘Many’s the lasting marriage was built on far less than a fine scalp. But, you know, I wouldn’t believe a word that Jim says. Likely Alex put him up to it. For a laugh.’
‘No, it’s the truth. His uncle has the same first name, so Alex won’t even have to change the shop signs when he takes over. And I’m not going to wait for the bloody moon and stars to bring us together, either.’
A car horn tooted outside.
‘There’s the taxi! Quick, are you ready?’
‘Wait! I think I’ll wear some lippy.’ Shirley took the lid off the silver capsule she also carried in her purse and quickly smeared on the sensual lip colour. Her lips were suddenly the lips of Joan Crawford about to murder some unfaithful man in a 1940s’ melodrama. ‘Just in case we decide to walk
past
Quigley’s. Do you think Declan will notice me in this gorgeous lip colour? It’s called Drama Queen.’
‘He couldn’t miss you if he was on the back of a runaway horse. Now put a smile on your fizzog and let’s hit the shops.’
‘Did Alex really believe that yarn? About the glass eye?’
‘Yes. Especially when I told him it keeps falling out when she’s weighing the sweets. Once, I told him, it was in the jar of mint imperials for two days before they found it again.’
‘You witch! If he’s that gullible, she’s better off without him.’ They both laughed. ‘You’ve got a great imagination, Kate.’
‘Here’s a wee tip for you, Shirley. If you’re going to tell a lie, make sure you tell a right old
whopper
. Add some detail, embroider it a bit. That way, it’s far more believable than an ordinary old lie.’
‘Thanks, Kate. I’ll remember that. I’m sure it will come in very useful, sometime.’ She dabbed her newly crimson lips with a tissue and looked at herself in the mirror. She was delighted with her new hairclip, 1950s’ original diamanté, only three stones missing. ‘How many marks would you give me for attractiveness, on a scale of one to ten?’
‘Five. Six. No, five. Hopefully, Declan has a poverty-fetish and he’ll really dig the second-hand gear.’
The car horn sounded again. Kate snatched up her sequinned bag, purse, perfume, lipstick, tissues and her leather jacket. Shirley sighed and popped her T-bar shoes back on.
The two sisters went down the stairs, closed the front door behind them and then they were on the street, beside the waiting car.
‘Quigley’s, please,’ Kate told the driver, as she settled herself regally on the back seat. Shirley watched him steal a lusty glance at Kate’s denim-clad thighs, before the car pulled out from the pavement and into the line of traffic.
They didn’t speak again until the taxi stopped outside Quigley’s. Kate paid the driver while Shirley tried to see in through the small window. One fleeting glimpse of a military overcoat and she knew she would chicken out. And then she saw him standing beside the New Releases, looking absolutely fabulous in all-black with a low-slung leather belt with big metal studs on it. And black suede boots with pointy toes. She felt a hot flush of desire and drew back from the doorway. Kate, determined to get the two of them together, gave her a shove and suddenly Shirley knew she just couldn’t go in. Her cheeks were on fire with embarrassment.
Shirley tried to reverse out of the shop, but Kate’s elbow was in the way and a speeding train wouldn’t have moved it. There was a slight scuffle as the two sisters pushed and shoved each other in the doorway, one trying to get in and the other trying to get out.
‘Oi! No trouble in the shop! Take it outside, ladies!’ The man behind the counter didn’t want a punch-up near his precious cardboard cut-out of the Wham boys.
‘No trouble. Just a woman in love,’ said the long-haired girl, as she pushed her blushing companion down one of the aisles.
Declan Greenwood watched the two tall girls jostling each other as they stood beside the Singles rack. One of the girls was very glamorous in blue eyeshadow, a blue leather jacket, ripped jeans and glass stilettos. The other one was more artistically dressed, in a pink and orange skirt, red beads and a faded denim jacket with a huge pink silk rose pinned on the lapel. Her bob was paper-flat, and her blue eyes were circled heavily with black pencil. But he guessed they were sisters. They were very alike. He turned back to the display of LPs on the shelf in front of him.
He had been blessed with excellent hearing, something several years of listening to very loud music had not diminished. He could hear them arguing in angry whispers on the other side of the display.
‘Ask him. Go on. Ask him. What have you got to lose?’
‘No way. Are you completely mental?’
‘Ah, go on. You’re hopeless! Have you no guts at all?’
‘That’s rich coming from you! Why didn’t you ask Alex out last week, instead of telling him outrageous lies about the opposition?’
‘Tactics. Watch and learn, little sister. You’ve got to wound your rivals before you go in with the big guns. It’s called propaganda.’
‘Your head’s cut. I can’t believe
you’re
trying to give
me
advice about men.’
‘Listen! We’re here now. Go on over.’
‘No. I couldn’t speak to him at the disco with three vodkas in me, and I definitely can’t do it now. In broad daylight. Sober.’
‘Well, then, I’ll ask him for you. Honestly, the things I do for you!’
‘You will
not
approach that fella.’
‘I will. I’ll give you a good mention. Don’t worry.’
‘Don’t you dare!’
‘Did you get that ring in a lucky bag, by the way? Take it off. It looks plastic.’
‘Kate!’
‘Let go of me. You’re hurting my arm.’
‘What are you going to say? My wee sister wants to marry you, she’s got no savings, but all her own teeth? Let’s throw in two goats and name the day?’
‘Well, I
won’t
tell him you’re a nineteen-year-old daydreamer who talks to the moon and thinks she’s Louise Brooks.’
‘If you go anywhere near him, I’ll put all your handbags in the middle of the yard and I’ll set fire to them. And that’s a solemn promise.’
‘Do you want to be On The Shelf, for ever?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You know I don’t.’
‘Right, then. You’ve got to get your hands on a red-blooded male. Now, listen to me. Act your age, walk right up to him and ask him out for a drink, like a normal human being. I haven’t got time for this carry-on.’
‘Please, Kate. You don’t understand. This is too important to me. I’d rather I never spoke to him at all than have him turn me down, right to my face. At least if I never know his answer, I’ll still have my dreams.’
‘You’re definitely not going to ask him, then?’
‘No. Definitely not. A refusal would just about kill me. Even a polite refusal. If you show me up in this record shop, I will never,
ever
go out with you to Hogan’s again. I mean it. Or anywhere. Please, Kate.’
‘Right. Come on, then. I’ve a ton of things to buy before tonight.’
The two girls left the shop and Declan looked around the room at the other customers and wondered who it was they were talking about. Hogan’s ballroom, they had mentioned. He might go to Hogan’s again, one of these days. Just to see if the girls were there. This was an intriguing little story, and the girl in the denim jacket was very nice-looking. Maybe, if this other fella she was after didn’t show up, she might like to talk to him.
3. Johnny is a Hero
Johnny collected some holiday brochures from the travel agency and settled himself in his office, to spend a quiet afternoon making plans. He imagined himself and Marion, side by side on the plane, sipping champagne and smiling at the other passengers. Holding hands as they flew over the Atlantic Ocean.
Well, that’s the way things should have turned out, and would have turned out, if it hadn’t been for the robbery.
A few weeks after the grand opening, as James had predicted, a couple of gangsters came into the ballroom, looking for protection money. They were also big fans of the silver screen, judging by the way they spoke with cigars hanging out of the sides of their mouths. One of them looked very sly and one of them looked very stupid. They made their way past the thick blue rope, and the sign that said
STAFF ONLY
, and went quietly up the carpeted stairs. They cornered Johnny and Eileen in the office, and demanded a monthly payment in exchange for their ‘protection’. The streets were becoming dangerous places to be after dark, they said. A person didn’t know who might be lurking in the shadows.