‘Are you all right with that?’ asked Declan. ‘If you’ve had a few already, I can get you a mineral water?’
‘I’m grand. Thanks again,’ she said. But she decided not to drink it just yet.
‘S’okay. Is your sister away then?’
‘No. She went to the bank, that’s all. Why? Are you interested?’
‘Oh, just asking.’
‘She’s a lovely girl, is Shirley. Bit shy, but sound as a pound. You know, I shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s been a very weird kind of day so far, so I will. Shirley has a wee notion of you.’
‘Does she? Right enough?’ He smiled broadly.
‘Aye, but she’d never do anything about it. She’s a bit of a dreamer, you know. Fascinated by the Celts, she is. She talks to the moon, and the stars.’
‘Don’t we all, from time to time?’
‘Well. She’s very sensitive.’
‘Is she? Tell me something else about her.’
‘She’s only young, nearly twenty, she doesn’t know what she wants. Now, take me, I’m twenty-nine, and, blimey, I don’t know what I want, either.’ She began to laugh, then, and couldn’t stop. She was still laughing when Shirley came back. ‘Oh, Shirley, there you are. What kept you? Look who I bumped into? Your very own wee Declan! And he’s bought us a round of drinks. Give me that bag, I’m going to powder my nose. That’s a good girl.’ Kate hurried to the bathroom, sure that her stomach was about to reject some of its liquid lunch.
Shirley sat down beside the door of the booth. Was it really him? Or were seven pure oranges playing tricks on her mind? She looked down at her shoes. They were very scuffed. Declan appeared to be saying something. She tried to listen.
‘I saw you at the ballroom, a while back. With your sister.’
‘Did you?’
‘Yeah. You’re not a bad dancer.’
Shirley blushed. ‘You like music?’
‘Definitely. I’m really into it. All kinds, really. I buy records every day. Thousands of them, I have. Limited editions. Extended editions. I’d love to be a DJ, maybe, some day. Play in a band. Something like that.’
‘Would you?’
‘Oh, sure. Music is a bit of an obsession with me. I have some great ideas, too: live gigs, theme nights. Entertainment is the best business to be in, everybody wants to enjoy themselves.’
‘Do they?’
‘Oh, yes. Entertainment is a great social leveller. No matter what a person’s background, they all like to dance and socialize. That drink is for you, by the way.’
‘Thanks. Sorry about Kate,’ Shirley said quickly. ‘She’s had far too much vodka. She’ll be falling asleep on me in a minute.’ Shirley checked her watch again. ‘I’ll give her five minutes and then I’d better make sure she’s not unconscious in there. I hate it when people drink too much. I never know what to do with them.’
But Kate came back at that moment. And, apart from a very pale complexion, she seemed steady enough on her feet.
‘If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go home now, and lie down. Come on, Shirley.’
Declan stood up as Shirley reluctantly reached for her coat.
‘Well, I’ll just finish this and head on, myself,’ he said. ‘I just called in for a quick pint. Got to get back to work.’ Declan smiled at Shirley. There was a hint of a smile on her face as well. He wanted to stay and talk to her but his father was expecting him at the restaurant.
‘Well. Nice to meet you, Kate, Shirley. Maybe I’ll see you again, in Hogan’s sometime?’
‘You will, surely. Cheerio, now. Mind how you go.’ Kate was trying to light the wrong end of a cigarette. She had her coat on, inside out. The three of them went out into the street, and Declan said goodbye again, and turned towards the city centre.
‘Bye,’ whispered Shirley, watching him go. It was all she could do not to follow him.
Kate elbowed her sister, and peered expectantly into Shirley’s eyes. It was quite hard to focus after several doubles. They began to walk in the other direction.
‘Like, wow! What was that all about? Did you talk to him? Did you? Did you? I gave you as long as I could, on your own.’
‘Thanks, Kate. That was big of you, considering the circumstances. Well, he talked to me a fair bit. I didn’t say much.’
‘What did you say? You must have said something.’
‘Let me think. I think I said,
Did you? Do you? Do they? Is it?
He must think I’m a twit. Bloody questions, that’s all I managed to come up with.’
‘Oh, dear. You know what our trouble is, Shirley? We’ve been in that dole office too long. Our conversation has become very silted. I mean salted. I mean
stilted
.’
‘He actually tried to talk to me, and I blew it.’
‘No, you didn’t. He likes you. He’ll be back. Now, I think I’ll go straight home, and have a nice big sleep. Telling old Bingham off has fairly taken it out of me.’
13. Past Passions
Marion and Eddy lay in their beautiful four-poster bed, in the big house on Derryvolgie Avenue. The street outside was very quiet and peaceful. Marion had decorated the bedroom in various shades of cream, and there was a luxuriously soft carpet on the floor, and even a small sofa at the foot of the bed. There was a framed watercolour of a rural scene in Galway, bought on their honeymoon. It was hanging above the dressing table, in a simple pine frame. They both looked at the picture and thought of when they had bought it. They had shared a bed in the small hotel beside the sea, but had only kissed and held hands when they went to sleep each night. Eddy said they didn’t have to bother about the other stuff until after the baby was born, and Marion felt ready and relaxed with him. He wouldn’t rush her. And when they did finally make love for the first time, almost a year later, she was amazed at how passionate he was. And how tender. He was a much better lover than she would ever have guessed. It was a wonderful surprise. He was such a sensitive man; she wished every woman in the world could be as blessed in her marriage as she was. She smiled at him and he kissed her softly.
Eddy was feeling very happy, too. This restful master bedroom was his favourite place in the house, although every other room was lovely as well. It was a source of great pride to him that Marion was so artistic, as well as being a super mother to their four children. He was a very lucky man, he told himself. Thank God he had waited for the right woman, when he could easily have given up and married somebody else. Marion and Eddy had left the bedroom curtains open so that they could watch the clouds drifting across the moon. Eddy had his arms round his wife, stroking the smooth skin on her shoulders, and her blonde bubble curls, and thinking how beautiful she still was. This was a very emotional time of year for Eddy; the big countdown to Christmas would be starting soon. The happiest of times for a contented family man like himself. On the first day of December, they would all go out for a special turkey lunch in the restaurant, and afterwards select a fresh tree from the local greengrocer’s across the road. They would decorate it together, and take several photographs for the album. Declan and the girls loved this family tradition. Then, there was the shopping: himself and Marion would go browsing in the big stores for gifts for the children and each other. He sighed happily, and kissed his wife tenderly for the second time that night. She knew he wanted to make love but she could not concentrate on anything until she had told him about her meeting that day. She never kept any secrets from her husband. She took a very deep breath.
‘I was talking to someone today, Eddy. Someone from the past.’
‘Who was that, sweetheart?’ As if he didn’t know.
‘Johnny Hogan.’
Eddy’s heart missed a beat. ‘What were you talking to him about?’
‘Well, he called in to the shop, and took me out to lunch.’
‘Why, pet? If you don’t mind me asking.’
‘He just wanted to say goodbye.’
‘Is he ill?’ Hope rose up in Eddy, like a tidal wave. People could get cancer in their forties, couldn’t they? And Johnny was a chronic smoker. Eddy
hated
himself for even thinking something terrible like that, but he had never forgiven Johnny Hogan for stealing his lovely girlfriend away from him, in 1962.
‘No, he’s as fit as a fiddle. What a strange thing to ask. Actually, he’s going away. To America. For three months. Six, if he likes it enough. He’s going as soon as he can make the arrangements.’
‘Is that all? A mere holiday! For heaven’s sake, that’s not worth a goodbye visit.’
‘Johnny makes his own rules, Eddy.’
‘Indeed he does. Did he want you to go with him?’
‘No, you silly thing!’ But she hesitated for a moment before she said it, and Eddy knew he was right. Under the bedclothes, he clenched his fists.
‘I bet he did. He’s got no right to ask you anything, not even to go out to lunch.’ He lowered his voice to a whisper, in case any of the children heard him. ‘I always thought he would work out that he was Declan’s father. Did he mention anything about that? We were only married seven months when Declan was born.’
‘No, no. He didn’t. He’s not the type to count up the days and months. He has no concept of time passing. Doesn’t he still wear blue suede shoes? God knows where he gets them. He must have bought a stack of those shoes when they were the in-thing, and kept them in the attic all this time.’ She knew she was babbling on to avoid the subject. ‘He wouldn’t want to be a father, anyway. That’s not his style.’
‘You say that as if you were paying him a compliment.’
‘Eddy! You know only too well that Johnny would think bringing up a family was boring. He’s just not the kind of man to go crawling around the floor, playing trains with a toddler. He’s a night-owl.’
‘Am I boring, Marion?’
‘Not even a tiny little bit. How can you say such things?’
‘When I find out my gorgeous wife is having a secret lunch with her old flame. That’s how. What did he want? He must have wanted something. Please tell me the truth, Marion.’
‘I have told you the truth, Eddy. He’s going away, soon. And he wanted to say goodbye, personally. And to apologize for the way he neglected me, in the past. Laying old ghosts to rest. That’s all it was.’
‘Is that the truth?’
‘Yes, darling. And I wished him well, and I told him not to worry about me. That I was very happy, with you. That I married the right man, in the end.’
‘Did he say he still loved you?’
‘No. Why would he?’
Eddy didn’t believe her. Any man in his right mind would love Marion. Her baby-blue eyes, and bee-sting pout; her slender legs in dainty slingbacks. Her voice that was as gentle as a summer breeze.
‘I’d do anything for you, Marion. You know I would. We’ve had a great life together, even though it wasn’t full of drama and excitement.’
‘Honestly, Eddy, I’d had enough of drama and excitement when you proposed to me. Drama’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s very stressful.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. I wanted a quiet life, and security, and a man I could depend on. I’ve loved you for a long time, darling, and I always will. I promise.’
‘I’m sorry for quizzing you, Marion. This is very difficult for me. He was your boyfriend for five years. Don’t you think it’s weird that he never married?’
‘Not at all. He was too fond of the business to be a family man like you, darling.’
‘But I run a business. It didn’t stop me getting married. Or you.’
‘Well, the late hours he always worked, it would be pretty hard on a wife.’
‘There must be more to it. He never got over you?’
‘Listen, Eddy. It hurts me to admit this, but Johnny only wanted me because I was pretty. A fashion accessory to his alter-ego as the local hero. We spent most of our time together dancing in the ballroom. Or sitting in the back row of the cinema. He liked to be seen in public with me… But hardly ever when it was just the two of us. We didn’t go for long walks, like you and I do. We didn’t spend hours making love, or really talking, you know? He didn’t want to be lumbered with me on a full-time basis. He’s selfish, Eddy.’
‘So you didn’t feel anything for him? No regrets at all?’
‘Honestly, Eddy, there’s nothing to worry about. Look, I only told you I saw him because we said we would have no secrets from each other. I’ve said what I had to say to Johnny and I won’t see him any more. I’m sure he’ll be so happy in America, he might even stay for good. Sure, he might as well be an American, the way he goes on. He’s never fitted in here.’
‘Don’t say anything to Johnny about Declan. Do you hear me?’
‘Are you mad? I’ve said nothing all these years. Not to a living soul. You’re the only person who knows. Don’t you remember the doctor’s face, the day Declan was born? He was very dubious. A nine-pound baby after only seven months? And the woman who filled out the birth certificate? Didn’t I lie to her as well?’
‘Well, I know how emotional you are, Marion. You might feel sorry for Hogan. Going off to America by himself to sit gazing out over some lake, thinking what might have been. He still knows how to manipulate women. It makes me sick!’
‘Oh, Eddy, how possessive you are. You still love me madly, don’t you?’
‘More than you’ll ever know.’ Eddy kissed her, then. A tender and gentle kiss. He said he was sorry for being so insecure; and promised not to mention Johnny Hogan ever again.
She was relieved that he was so understanding about everything. Apart from a little flash of jealousy now and then, Eddy was the perfect man. And she had to remind herself that it was only natural he should resent Johnny so much; he had spent five years waiting for her after she gave him back his engagement ring and went to jive with Johnny in the ballroom. She nestled up to Eddy, under the duvet, and told him she loved him again.
But Eddy was secretly very worried. There was a lump of ice in his heart; the rage that he had buried for so long was still there. He could not make love now, or even get to sleep. He was sure that Marion did love him, but also sure that Johnny was trying to take her away from him. The selfish brute wanted a companion to take care of him in his middle years. Someone familiar to grow old with, and listen to his ballroom stories. Never mind that Marion had a perfectly happy life already. Wasn’t that just typical of Hollywood Hogan? Eddy wanted to go straight round to Magnolia Street and give Johnny Hogan the beating of his life; blacken those brown eyes of his. No decent man would blame him. But, knowing Hogan, he would have Eddy Greenwood thrown in prison for a couple of months, and use the time (and the bruises) to seduce Marion again. She’d promised she would never leave Eddy the first time, and yet she went off with Hogan the minute he asked her. She couldn’t resist him. She wouldn’t even talk to Eddy on the phone in case she hurt Johnny’s feelings, she said. The frustration he felt during those five years almost drove him out of his mind. And he had only got her back because of the pregnancy. Because she was in desperate need of someone to take care of her. Could Eddy’s life still come tumbling down around him like a house of cards? Stay calm, he told himself, a hundred times that night. Eddy knew that he had to be strong and sensible; that was what Marion wanted him to be. Think. Think!