The Ashes of Longbourn (9 page)

Mrs Gardiner placed a hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “I must warn you, Mr Darcy, from Mr Bingley’s and Jane’s letters, Lizzy has suffered horrible injuries. If she is ever able to walk again, her left leg will most likely give her difficulties the rest of her life. Some of the burns have left scars, as have some of the cuts she sustained. And of course, Elizabeth may never be able to walk again. You are in love with the Elizabeth that you knew before the fire. Are you ready to meet the Elizabeth that has been through one of the worst possible situations?”
“Though we have not taken vows, I feel as if she were my wife. And if we had taken vows, would they not include the words in sickness and in health, in good times and bad? In my heart, I have already made these promises to Elizabeth. My sister stated that I could not return to my homes, as I had already asked for the Mistress’s rooms be freshened up and made ready for use. I could not face walking past those rooms when I thought Elizabeth was dead. Now that I know she lives, I will move heaven and earth to secure her as my wife and ensure that she receives everything she needs for the rest of her life.”
Mr Gardiner looked at the young man who appeared to be deeply in love with his niece. “I must warn you, Mr Darcy, from the last letter we received; I believe my niece may also be suffering from a melancholia that is taking hold of her. Jane stated that Elizabeth refuses to speak of the fire and she has even refused to leave her bed. Mr Bingley had a wheeled chair brought to Netherfield and has encouraged Elizabeth to allow them to take her outside for some fresh air. Not only has she told him no, she was nearly violent with Jane when she attempted to press the point. My brother-in-law, Mr Phillips, wrote that other than Jane, Mr Bingley, Mrs Hill, Mrs Cartwright, and a few other maids, Elizabeth has refused to have visits from anyone else. We cannot promise that she will allow you to see her.”
“Mr Gardiner, I promise you this, if you will permit me to enter your niece’s bedchamber, I will be as proper as possible in my efforts of winning Elizabeth’s heart and assisting her in returning to the world. I would also ask to be allowed to read the letters that you have received. I wish to know all that I can to enable me to aid Elizabeth.”
“Very well, Mr Darcy, let the two of us make our way to the docks to make arrangements for our passage. I will also send a message to Mr Bingley announcing our impending arrival, and that you and your sister will be with us.”
Darcy turned to his sister and was torn between bringing her with him and sending her up to her rooms. Mrs Gardiner seemed to realize the emotions that played across the young man’s expression. “Mr Darcy, if you approve, I would like to take Miss Darcy with me to do some shopping for gifts to take to Jane and Elizabeth.”
Georgiana smiled and nodded her head when her brother looked at her. “Very well, I am certain that Georgiana will enjoy getting to know you better.” Darcy reached into his pocket and brought out a pouch. Giving his sister some money, he smiled. “Purchase whatever you wish, Georgie. Perhaps some gifts for Bingley and the Bennet sisters would be nice.”
“Thank you, Brother. I am sure that Mrs Gardiner will be able to assist me in making my choices.”
Mrs Gardiner turned to her husband. “Perhaps I will have Bridie tend the children while Miss Darcy and I do our shopping. We will need to keep our rooms for tonight as well.”
“Mr Darcy and I will take care of the rooms, and I saw Bridie walk towards the desk a few moments ago. Allow me to find her and have her come to you here. She can take the children up to the rooms and you can do your shopping.” Mr Gardiner said to his wife.
As Georgiana watched her brother leave with Mr Gardiner, a single tear trailed down her cheek. “My brother has not been so filled with life in a long time. I am thrilled that Miss Elizabeth is still alive. From what I have been told, she is a wonderful lady.”
“She is, though I should warn you that she is not the same person she was. I cannot imagine the pain that she has been through, both from her injuries and from the loss of her family. We will all need to assist her in coming back from the despair she is experiencing.”
“Mrs Gardiner, I promise you, if there is anything I can do to aid Miss Elizabeth, I will do so.”
Mrs Gardiner squeezed Georgiana’s hand. “Thank you, Miss Darcy. I appreciate your willingness. I pray that my niece recovers, for she is truly a remarkable young lady.”
 

             
                            ~~~~~~~ ** ~~~~~~~

Chapter 8

             
Elizabeth had suffered from melancholy for weeks.  It had taken hold of her, nearly choking every good thing from her life.  She could not enjoy the sunshine, and refused to be taken outside to enjoy some fresh air.  She could not find pleasure in the flowers that were brought into her rooms, or even begin to read the new book that was given to her by Bingley.  The book of sonnets that had survived was in the drawer of her bedside table, untouched in the past month.  The cook tried everything to tempt Elizabeth to eat more, as she barely ate.  Everyone could see how emaciated and pale she had become and they knew that if she continued to remain in the room, in her bed, and did not eat properly, she would waste away before their eyes.

             
Jane and Bingley were at their wit’s end.  They did not know what else to try.  And the deeper Elizabeth sank into the pit of despair, Jane’s anxiety grew. When her sister stopped asking if any letter had come, Jane knew that her sister had given up hope, hope in Darcy’s return to her and hope in life.  It was especially clear when Elizabeth told her to be rid of the book of sonnets; the younger sister did not wish to see it again.

             
Bingley thumbed through the post that arrived one morning to find two letters of importance.  The first one was from Mr Gardiner and the second was from Darcy. Bingley was confused to see that they had been sent from the same location.

             
He opened the letter from Mr Gardiner first.  In the letter, Bingley learned that the Gardiners and Darcys had met in Ireland and would leave the following day together.  They would all be traveling together to Netherfield.  Bingley would need to have two more rooms prepared for their arrival.

             
Bingley decided to open the letter from Darcy.

Bingley,

              I do not have time to tell you everything, but I only learned today that Miss Elizabeth Bennet is alive. Georgiana and I have been traveling, as I could not imagine returning to Pemberley, believing the news of her death.

             
My cousin was in London several months ago and learned from your sister of the fire and he was told that the entire family had perished.  The London papers also claimed all were lost in the blaze.  Richard came to Scotland to tell me in person, as he knew that I had received Miss Elizabeth’s permission to court her.  I was to return to ask her father’s permission, only to be delayed when I learned that Georgiana had taken a fever and was near death.

             
It was only by chance that we met the Gardiner family at an inn in Belfast.  I overheard them speaking of Netherfield and inquired as to their connection.  Learning that Elizabeth was alive was a shock to me and brought me back to life.  Nothing will stop me from being at her side now; Georgiana and I are accompanying the Gardiners to Netherfield.

             
Mr and Mrs Gardiner have forewarned me of Elizabeth’s condition and her melancholy.  I am determined to be at her side, loving her and caring for her as she rebuilds her life.  In my heart she is my wife, as no other will ever fill her place.

             
We will be leaving tomorrow on a ship that I have hired. When you receive this letter, we will arrive within a day or two after.

             
Do not tell her that I am coming.  I do not wish to give her a chance to refuse my visit.

             
Your friend,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

             
Bingley smiled.  If anyone could break the barrier that Elizabeth built around her, it would be Darcy.  It pleased him to know that his friend had finally learned the truth of Elizabeth’s being alive.  The pain that Darcy must have endured would have been as crippling as Elizabeth’s injuries.  Thinking of the losses from that fateful night, Bingley knew that he would have behaved the same if he had been informed that Jane had died.  Now, finally, life could begin again. 

             
Walking up to Elizabeth’s rooms, Bingley knocked on the door.  When Mrs Hill opened the door, he stepped inside the room.  The drapes were drawn, leaving the room dark and dismal. Only two candles were lit and a fire burning in the hearth that gave any light.  Jane looked at her betrothed and shook her head.  Obviously, Elizabeth was having an extremely difficult day.  The younger sister refused to even look at anyone in the room. 

             
“Miss Elizabeth, your uncle sent a message. They should be here tomorrow or the following day.  I have invited them to stay here at Netherfield. Will that not be nice to visit with them?  The children are looking forward to spending time with both of you ladies.”

             
“Keep them from this room.” Elizabeth stated with a gravelly voice.  She rarely spoke, so when she did, her voice crackled.  “I do not wish to see anyone.  And take your betrothed from this room.  I do not wish to listen to her cheerful voice.”

             
“Miss Elizabeth, it is time that I put my foot down.  You have been cruel to your sister for weeks now, wallowing in self-pity.  If you wish to be miserable, that is your decision. But I will not allow you to treat Jane in such a manner.  Jane loves you dearly and wants only the best for you.  It is not her fault that you were injured and therefore you should not abuse her for such.”

             
“Charles, it is fine, do not fret.  I know that Lizzy is in pain and she does not mean what she says to me.”

             
“Jane, my love, it does not matter that she is in pain, she can still be civil and treat others kindly.”

             
Elizabeth turned her head towards them as she let loose the fury she had been holding back.  “You should have let me die.  I wish that I had.  Can you not see that my life ended that night as I looked in Mary’s window?  I cannot take care of myself; I am a burden to all of you.  I cannot enjoy walking in the park or up to Oakham Mount. I cannot make my way down to pick berries or flowers by the stream.  I was unable to save Mary or any of the others, and this is my punishment for it.  And with all the scars I have, no one will ever look at me without disgust.  I am hideous, a monster.  The children will take one look at me and run screaming from the room.  No, Mr Bingley, you should never have allowed the doctors to prolong my life.  I died that night and it is best if you would allow me to finish what the fire started.”

             
“LIZZY! I will not tolerate this pity any longer.  And I will not allow you to end your life.  We love you and wish for you to be in our lives.  Your scars are not nearly as noticeable as they were.  And with some sunshine and fresh air, as well as eating more, you will look much better.  Since you are not able to fight us, we will be carrying you outside each day from now on.  You have been allowed to behave like a petulant child, but I will not allow it any further.  Aunt Helen and Uncle Edwin will not allow it either.  If you choose to follow your own wishes, you will have to grow stronger.  As you are now, you could not discourage a butterfly.”

             
Jane walked over to the windows and opened the curtains and windows, allowing sunlight and a breeze to enter the room.  Though it was chilly outside, the room was stifling for being closed up and the breeze felt invigorating.  Turning to Mrs Hill, Jane asked her to have a bath drawn.

             
Elizabeth was furious with her sister.  “I do not wish to have a bath.”

             
“That is too bad, dear sister, for you have not had a proper bath in quite some time.  You need one, and you will have one at least every other day from now on.  You will be dressed and join us at dinner each evening.  Even if you sit in the wheeled chair and glare at us while we eat, you will be in the dining room with us.  Each day you will be carried outdoors, and you will spend time in other rooms of this house.  There will be no more of this foolishness.  You can hate me all you wish, Lizzy, but you are here and will remain here as long as possible if I have anything to say about it.”

             
“I will not obey you, Jane.  I will not.”

             
Jane laughed.  “And just how do you intend to refuse me?  You have no strength.  How, pray tell, will you keep me from carrying out my orders?”  She then continued to speak to Mrs Hill. “I think the rose water in the bath will do a world of good, as she could use a more pleasant smell about her.  I will speak with Mr Bingley for a moment and will return to assist you in taking Elizabeth to the bathing tub and washing her.”

             
Mrs Hill was shocked at Jane’s forceful manner.  She nodded her head and left the room to make the request for water to be brought up.  When she returned to the room, Jane and Bingley stepped to the hall.  As soon as the door closed behind her, Jane began to sob.  Bingley wrapped his arms around her, walking her down the hall to a chair.  After assisting Jane into the chair, Bingley knelt before her.  “My love, I cannot tell you how impressed I am with your handling of your sister.  You have been strong for so long, and I know how difficult it has been for you.  I am proud of you, my dearest Jane.”