Oh God, she was pregnant
.
Pregnant.
With
his
child.
All over again, his heart kick-started with love.
Like he’d been lifted, wrapped, and suffocated in it.
His
.
He’d waited so long to be able to safely say that. Now, it overwhelmed in the best kind of way. The feeling was so similar to the way he felt with her in that car on his birthday, all slow and muddied up, rolling over his skin like velvet and dripping over nerves like gold.
It took and took and took more than he had to give and Anton didn’t even care.
Nothing compared to that.
Nothing at all.
So he stood there and grinned, letting that love she made him have soak all in.
• • •
“Wake up, baby.”
Anton moved the chair a little closer, trying not to let the legs scratch too loudly against the tiled floor. Once the morning meal had been brought in, he decided it was finally time to get her brown eyes opening. The doctor had managed to come around as well with a dozen and one questions for him that Anton wasn’t quite comfortable answering but succeeded well enough.
The man said she could be out within a couple of days, too. Best news ever.
Next to hers, of course.
Anton wanted to get her awake so she could fucking say it.
There was also a worried call from his mother that he ended up having to take out in the hallway, given Sasha’s voice rose to an octave not even sleeping beauty could have ignored. Daniil eventually took the phone away from her, thank God. Despite his father’s sickness and him needing rest, they’d be around later in the day. Anton nearly told his parents right then.
Proud was maybe an understatement. The excitement had more than taken over again.
“Come on, Viviana, open those pretty eyes of yours.”
She seemed to react best to his hand trailing along the curve in her waist down to her hip and back up again. Snuggling deeper into the nest of blankets and pillows that she’d created, her face hid from his view as she groaned.
“Oh, God. It fucking
hurts
.”
Anton flinched. “I know. Second day out of any kind of recovery is always the worst. That’s when it catches up to you the most. You’re going to take that morphine at the dosage they recommend today, right? It’s not the time to be acting like a hero because you think you need to.”
Finally, Viviana’s head peeked up over the blanket. Her eyes locked on his like heat seeking missiles. The grin that split his lips matched hers.
“Hey, baby.”
Viviana sighed. “You’re here.”
“Yeah. Man of my word. Always.”
Her IV clad hand reached out and smacked him on the injured shoulder with a force he didn’t expect from someone who’d lain in bed for the last day, was medicated, and just barely survived a bomb blast. Goddamn that fucking hurt. Anton couldn’t even try to hide his yelp of pain or the way he jerked away from her, scared for a possible second hit.
“What the hell was that for?”
Her gaze narrowed. “What did you do?”
A lump formed that he swallowed back.
“Don’t make me lie, Viviana. Don’t ask me those questions. It’s over, that’s all that matters, now. When we leave here, we’re going
home
.” He had to give her credit, she didn’t cry. “Love you, hmm?”
“You could have called me yesterday, Anton. I was a downright mess here without you.”
“You muddle me up,” he replied just as quiet.
“What?”
“Muddle me up,” Anton repeated, shrugging. “Like crazy in ways I can’t explain. Fucks with my head and heart. You make me go into a different headspace. It’s not a bad place, but it’s your place. I’m not going to wreck and ruin that with crap.”
“Not an excuse.”
“Still love you.” She blinked away from his face, but he was quick to lean close enough that his lips brushed over hers when Anton murmured, “Say it back. Tell me good morning. Ask me for a kiss. Anything, Viviana. I’ve missed you something awful. And I feel terrible. I know you wanted me here, and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
“Did you get Ivan’s message?”
Anton leaned back in his chair. “I did.”
“And?”
“I don’t agree, but you’re right, it’s not my decision to make. I said he was yours.”
“Don’t agree—”
“No,” he interjected calmly. “Rocco did just what he needed to do. Do I think it’s fair to let him suffer out the next year or two because I’m too selfish of a man that I don’t want to say goodbye for my own sake? Absolutely not. But, I’m not you, either.”
Tears did well up in her gaze that time. “That’s not fair.”
“I know, but that’s it. That’s the truth. Sucks, but it’s honest.”
The silence that covered the room felt heavier than he wanted it to. That wasn’t how Anton planned for her to wake up, not to mention feel.
“Eat something, hmm? They’re going to be in soon to change your bandages.”
Viviana scowled at the mention of food. “Not hungry right now.”
“If you’re being difficult because of Rocco, that nonsense can stop right now.”
“I’m …” she said, struggling to sit up, “just not hungry. Between being tired, the pain, and the rawness in my throat, I feel like total crap.”
Anton licked his lips, his gaze falling down to her midsection.
“You need to eat, Vine. Something, anything. I don’t care if it’s just pudding for Christ’s sake. I know you don’t feel well, but you’re car—” Anton swallowed the words. “Eat, please.”
Fuck, he just caught himself.
It was kind of crazy how his heart outright skipped and a flurry of something unusual stirred in his gut at the thought all over again. Her abdomen was as flat as ever, and it probably would be for a while, but there was something about knowing his child was right there …
thriving
… that had him, his heart, and his dark soul all spread out in a variety of ways.
Terrified. Happy. Lustful. Content. Overwhelmed.
None of them really fit well together, but damn, he still felt it all.
Viviana caught his staring and coughed. Anton didn’t even act ashamed.
“You going to tell me, baby, or do I need to keep pretending? I’m a straightforward man. I never was any good at being vague. In reality, I suck at it.”
“You really do,” she said, laughing. “Did Ivan tell you?”
Anton’s brow furrowed. “No. Why, did he know?”
He’d kill the bastard.
“Are you happy?”
The sudden worried expression she sported had his air catching.
“My God, yeah … so happy.”
“Okay.” Her tiny, scratched-up hands grasped for him all over again, touching down with feather-light love and a heavy want. “Come here, please.”
“Always.” Anton reached back, his fingertips tracing the contours of her bruised cheeks, shadowing over the spots he knew must have been sore. “I am sorry.”
“I know.”
“You do know I’m going to be even worse now with the over protectiveness, right?”
Viviana smiled against his mouth. “Yeah. I’m okay with that.”
“Good to know.”
She did what he had asked then, too. Let him kiss her, said good morning, and whispered quiet love against his cheek. With his encouragement, she finally did manage to stomach half of the easy-to-swallow foods the hospital staff had brought her for breakfast.
Anton crawled up into the tiny bed and moved blankets and pillows around until she was comfortable and cradled in his arms. Heat danced along his palm when he laid it flat to the smooth contour of her pelvis. They didn’t move until the nurses knocked on the door to clean her injuries and change her bandages a half hour later.
And even then … he buried his face in her neck, held tight, and didn’t let go.
The mirror was taunting Viviana.
Behind her reflection, she could see the beautiful ivory lace spread out on the bed. Sure, she’d gotten in front of one since the accident, stood there more than long enough to take a list of all her injuries and scars, but this was something so much different.
“Come on, child,” Sasha said, smiling tenderly. “How can you possibly know that it won’t look good if you haven’t even put it on yet?”
How could it look good at all?
That was the real question.
Even though the superficial second degree burns on her arm had healed, there had been a slight discoloration in the scarring. While the rest of her was olive toned, from her elbow down was a mixture of garish white and a sore looking pink. The minor burns on her neck, however, had all but healed with little to no scarring at all.
How on earth she’d managed to forget about the capped sleeve, lace mermaid style dress after the accident, Viviana didn’t know. It had already been ordered. Given Anton hired two planners to take over what they couldn’t handle while managing her healing and Rocco’s—well, either of them could have picked it up and not mentioned it.
Viviana was blaming it on the pregnancy. All of her forgetfulness was the baby’s fault.
It was a perfectly viable excuse to her.
Not to Anton.
He assumed her tiredness weeks later, mixed in with the sudden absentmindedness, had something to do with the aftereffects of the accident. Viviana barely held herself back from sticking out her tongue at him like a child when the doctor explained it was likely just the pregnancy.
The dress, like several other things, had simply slipped her mind. Or, maybe she hadn’t wanted to go shopping for another one and she forced herself to forget about it. After all, Anton had been the one to pick that dress out and Viviana wanted so badly to let him take it off like he promised.
In the mirror, Viviana’s reflection had gone pale. Stress had that immediate effect on her now. There wasn’t any such thing as morning sickness. That was a goddamn myth, and the man who made it up should have been shot. It was more like morning, noon, night, and whenever the hell in-between sickness.
“Oh God,” she mumbled, turning away from the mirror as her stomach rolled. Viviana didn’t know if she could make it to the bathroom. “Sick … gonna be …”
Sasha was at her side, producing another one of those ginger suckers, pulling the plastic off and popping it into her soon-to-be daughter-in-law’s mouth. Viviana hated the way they tasted, but the damned things worked like nothing else.
With another soft grin, Sasha’s hand patted gently on top of Viviana’s still flat stomach, whispering quiet words in Russian before she asked, “Better?”
It was such a motherly action that Viviana felt her heart clench in the most painful way. More than anything, she wished her own mother was there. She loved Sasha like nothing else, but every girl deep down inside wanted their mother and father on their wedding day.
“Getting there. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, now put the dress on.”
Viviana scowled around the lollipop.
Deciding to try and divert Sasha’s attention on the dress a little longer, Viviana asked, “How’s Daniil doing today?”
Sasha smiled faintly. “Much better. Even the doctors are surprised at his sudden energy and excitement. I think that may have something to do with his first grandchild being born. I know he’s not going to …”
Viviana frowned as Sasha trailed off and wiped at her eyes. There was a chance Daniil wasn’t going to see the baby. That was just the sad truth they were all trying to swallow. But just a few short weeks ago, his doctors had given him the possibility of a year, too. With careful monitoring, a good diet, and a little bit of luck, he very well could be there to meet his first grandchild. At least for the start of the baby’s life, anyway.
“He might, Sasha,” Viviana whispered, knowing that’s what Anton’s mother was thinking about, too.
“I hope so. It certainly seems like the news of the pregnancy has made him happier for the moment.”
And just how had hiding the pregnancy for the first little while gone?
Well, not terribly fucking great. It might have helped if Anton could have left her midsection alone for five minutes, but no, his hand or fingers were always waywardly traveling in that destination even if he didn’t realize it. The biggest shit-eating grin took hold of his features every time, too. Not to mention, he damn near had a fit every time someone bumped into her for the first month after she was out of the hospital.
More than once she had to remind him she wasn’t a glass china doll.
It didn’t work. Anton still had a thing about too many people crowding her.
Tonight should be fun
, Viviana thought with a sigh.
Of course, none of that gave it away to Sasha. Oh no, the woman knew the moment she walked into Viviana’s hospital room. Somehow … Daniil had been completely oblivious to the way his wife’s eyes scanned her son and his fiancée before she smiled, kissed Anton’s cheek, and whispered her congratulations.
When Viviana asked how she could tell, Sasha shrugged and said, “It’s a mother thing.”
“Put the dress on. Now,” Sasha repeated, snapping Viviana back into the moment.
“But—”
A heavy exhale fell from behind Viviana. “Talk to me.”
Her scarred arm lifted as an explanation. The low plunge in the back of the dress would show some of the scarring over her right shoulder. Thankfully makeup had all but made the deep slice above her eyebrow disappear.
“I know the doctor said it might take a couple of years for the discoloration to go away, but still,” Viviana said, frowning. “I’m the bride, right? Everyone’s going to be looking at me.”
“Everyone looks at you anyway; you’re beautiful.”
Yes, but Viviana could wear long sleeves to hide the burns. She didn’t even have a sheer cover-up to put on today. There were over sixty guests starting to arrive downstairs with their respective plus ones, so that was more people putting her in the spotlight all at once than she’d had in a long time.
Her stomach was rolling again.
Sasha seemed to pick up on that right away. “Okay, you sit tight. I’ll be right back.”
Viviana didn’t argue.
Not ten minutes later, her hotel room was opening, but the person who slipped in certainly wasn’t who she’d been expecting.