Authors: H.M. Ward
CHAPTER
8
I’m sitting in Miss Black’s office.
It’s late. She’s wearing a slim black suit that accentuates her thin frame. She looks regal. Miss Black has this air about her that’s completely intimidating. The more I get to know her, the more I don’t like her. The first day we met, she seemed nice, but I think that was a mask. The real Miss Black is a savvy business woman and often has a ruthless look in her eye—especially when it comes to me.
I’m dressed in old jeans with a torn knee
and an oversized cream-colored sweater. It hides my figure. My hair is swept back into a sloppy ponytail. I cross my legs at the knee and slouch back into my seat.
Miss Black lifts one of her perfectly plucked brows. She’s not happy with me.
I protest calmly. “You said make them want more. I don’t see a problem here. The only two clients I’ve been with are asking for me. How’s that a bad thing?” I’m trying to keep my voice level. This is about Sean, but she hasn’t said that yet.
“Miss Stanz, it’s concerning. The nature of your relationship with Mr. Ferro—”
“I don’t have a relationship with Mr. Ferro.” I can say that because it’s true. We’re barely friends. Half the time it feels like I’m walking on sand with him. The earth keeps shifting under my feet. I never know which version of Sean I’m with. The dark version scares the crap out of me and I know that’s the Sean I’ll have if Black puts us together this weekend. I kind of hope she does. I want all this twisted secret stuff he’s hiding to be forced out in the open, but then again it might be too much.
She stares at me. “You’ve done something to both of these men. I have no idea what’s between you and Mr. Ferro, but don’t you dare tell me that it’s nothing. You’ve been seen together outside of work—”
“By accident. It was a coincidence. What do you want me to do if I bump into Henry Thomas? Blow him off? He might let me, but you already know that Mr. Ferro won’t. He’s kind of demanding.” I make a face and look down at my hands.
“I’m going to say this
plainly. If I catch you in a relationship outside of work—if you have any sexual partners at all—I will demand that you return every penny you’ve earned here. I don’t play games Miss Stanz.”
“Neither do I.” I sit up straight in my seat and lean forward, resting my hands on her dark desk. “Tel
l me why I haven’t been fired? If you think I’m being some sort of deviant—”
She cuts me off. “You are some sort of deviant. You’re a call girl. You lie to men for a living and apparently you are very good at it. Of course
, I expect you to take your clients in on the side. It cuts out my share and you get paid more for less work. Meanwhile, I’m the one protecting you girls and screening the men. I won’t stand for it Avery.”
“I am not taking in any business on the side.” I look straight into her eyes and try not to laugh. Like I would do such a thing? “I can
barely get through a night without throwing up on the guy.”
“I’m not naïve. You play the part well, but I know it’s an act.” I open my mouth to explain but she raises her hand. “Enough. You know the penalty if you get caught. As for this weekend, you’ll be double booked since both men are asking for you.”
I gape at her. “What?”
Miss Black is no longer looking at me. She’s writing something on the legal pad in front of her. “Well, you didn’t expect me to turn them away
, did you? Mr. Ferro wants you on Friday and Saturday evening. When I told Mr. Thomas that you were booked solid this weekend, he asked if it would be possible to reserve you for Sunday afternoon. We made the schedule work.
“However, I must say,
I am leery of Mr. Ferro. Your last meeting alone with him didn’t end well, however he was at the meeting with Thomas.” She pauses and cocks her head at me, like she just realized something. “You’re playing them against each other.” Respect flashes in her eyes. “I didn’t think you had it in you. You did something—at that dinner—and made them compete for you. I’m impressed.” She sweeps her eyes over me like she’s seeing me for the first time.
Holy crap is she wrong, but I’m not stupid enough to tell her that. Plus she’s not pissed at me for the moment
, so I just flash her a cheesy smile. Yup, that’s me. Super Slut. Someone should give me a cape. I wonder if I can laugh like an evil villain, but I don’t try. Black will think I’m insane. Maybe I am.
Dr. Pratz said to get my hours shaved back and Black is piling them on—and right at the end of the semester. If I work all weekend, I won’t have time to finish my papers. I’m caught in the middle and not sure what to do.
Since I don’t really have a choice, I just nod.
“Miss Stanz,” she says as I stand to leave. “Don’t you want to know what your take of the fee is this weekend?”
No, not really. Okay, maybe a little.
I nod. She pushes a little white card toward me. It’s a lot of money, not as much as I was supposed to get from the first time, but still a lot. “It’s impressive.”
“It’s something.”
“You don’t sound happy.”
I smirk at her. “This is no place for happiness, Miss Black. This is business.”
“I’m glad you understand.”
CHAPTER
9
It’s the end of the week already. I’m sitting across from Marty in the lab. Everyone else has finished, e
xcept one girl who was ditched her lab partner. She’s pulling double duty. I feel bad for her. If Marty wasn’t around, that would be me.
Marty measures something and sets it aside. I write down the number on our worksheet. He glances at me quickly and goes back to wo
rk. He’s been so tense lately. The other night when he picked me up in Babylon was weird. It was the only night that I didn’t have nightmares. I wonder if it was him—if it was Marty that chased the dreams away. But that’s silly. I’m staring at the side of his face.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“The other night, when you picked me up in front my parents’ house, I wanted to ask you something. It’s bothering me, because I don’t really remember. I was kind of out of it.”
He nods and looks up at me. Marty is wearing clear goggles. He pulls them off. His gaze lifts and he looks over my shoulder at the girl working alone and then back at me. “What do you want to know?”
I lean in and lower my voice, knowing that it’ll sound wrong if I’m overheard. “Did you sleep with me? I mean, you were in the bed with me?” Marty’s eyes lock with mine. My stomach dips and goose bumps cover my arms and tickle the back of my neck. I swallow hard, trying to force that feeling back down. Ignoring it, I blink like I inhaled too many lab chemicals and smile at him. “It’s the only night I didn’t dream…well, have nightmares. I was wondering why.”
Marty
nods slowly. “I slept next to you.” He turns to the table and puts his goggles back on. He flexes his fingers before grabbing a beaker and pours a clear liquid inside. I jot down how much. He doesn’t look at me. “You started whimpering after you fell asleep. When I touched you it stopped.”
“So you held me all night?”
He doesn’t look at me. “Something like that.”
I want him to look at me. Something’s going on with him. Friends don’t act
this way. Mel would have woken me up. Marty’s shoulders are so tense. I touch his arm gently. He fumbles the beaker and drops it. The contents spill on the counter as the beaker rolls in a circle. He swears and darts across the room for paper towels. The cabinet where they are supposed to be is empty. “I’ll be right back.”
I sit back down on my stool
and stare at the spill.
The girl behind me clears her throat. I turn and look at her. “He’s into you, you know.”
I smile at her and shake my head. “Nah, he’s into guys.”
She smirks and looks down at her worksheet. She measures and writes the answer before saying, “That may be, but he’s totally into you
, too. He’s always looking at you like you’re too good to be true. It’s the puppy love face. He’s got it bad.”
She’s crazy. I laugh and feel really
uncomfortable. “He does not.”
“Well, don’t say you didn’t know when he makes a move on you. If you shoot him down, it’ll crush him. And from the looks of it, you guys are friends. He probably doesn’t want to screw things up.”
I start to say something but Marty walks in with a roll of paper towels. The girl said what I already know, but I still can’t believe it. I can’t see it. I can’t picture Marty pining over me. I can’t picture him kissing me or anything else, either. It’s too weird.
After he cleans everything up, he says, “So, you working this weekend?”
It seems cruel to tell him. I mean, if he likes me hearing all this has got to be killing him. “Marty?”
He looks up. “Yeah?”
I almost say it. I almost ask, but I can’t. I don’t want to lose him. I couldn’t handle it. I smile and lower my gaze. “Yeah, I’m working, but I wish I wasn’t.”
Marty gives a weak smile and goes back to work. We finish the assignment in silence. After we put everything away and leave the lab, Marty walks next to me. My heart is beating too fast. My palms are slick and hot. I grip my books tighter and hold them against me. The sky is gray, like it might snow
again.
Marty stops. He reaches out and takes my elbow so I turn to him. The sun is weak and the air is cold. It’ll be night soon. “I need to tell you something.”
If I didn’t feel squeamish before, I do now. I don’t want him to say it. I have no idea what to do if he does. “Oh?” My mind is reeling, trying to backpedal out of this mess. I glance around frantically, looking for anyone walking by that I might know.
“Yeah, it’s important.” I glance up at him. Looking into his eyes, I silently plead
Don’t do it…Don’t, don’t, don’t.
He breaks my gaze and looks down at the ground between us. “Every time I go to say it, something happens, but I have to tell you. I need for you to know.”
No
, no, no!
“Avery, I’m not gay.”
I expected him to say he had feelings for me, that he’s madly in love with me or something like that. I stare at him slack-jawed. “What?”
He won’t look at me. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way—”
“What are you talking about?”
His brown eyes flick up and meet mine. “When I first met you, you were kind of intense. Every guy that tried to get near you…” He makes an aggravated sound in the back of his throat and runs his fingers through his hair, tugging hard. “No one could get near you. When you assumed I was gay, I didn’t correct you.”
I start laughing. “You’re really funny. There’s no way in hell you would have pretended to be gay to be friends with me.” I punch his arm lightly and smile at him, like this is all a big joke, but Marty doesn’t smile back.
“Actually, that’s exactly what I did.” Marty is looking at his shoe. He flicks his eyes up for half a second and what I see sends a chill down my spine.
I step away from him, shaking my head. “You wouldn’t lie to me, not like that—not about that.”
Marty steps towards me and hesitates. “I wanted to know you. I heard you talking to Mel and saw you around and—”
“You lied to me?”
“I never said I was gay.”
The worry in his eyes kills me, but I can’t believe he did this. I can’t fathom why he kept this charade going for all this time. Everyone thinks he’s gay. The depth of the deceit is unfathomable.
“But you lied to me. You let me think it. You didn’t say
Hey, I’m straight
and correct me. Damn it, Marty!” Anger bursts through my veins. I pump my fists at my sides, trying to reign in my temper. I don’t want to lose him, but this is unacceptable. He’s been lying to me. He’s seen me and held me in ways he shouldn’t have.
“How could you!” I rush at him and slam my palms into his chest. “How could lie to me!”
I do it again. Marty won’t look at me, but all the people walking across the quad stop to watch. When I push him a third time, he snaps out of it. Marty grabs my wrists and blocks me. He pushes me away. “I was lonely like you, okay. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but you’re not the only one alone here, Avery. We got along, you made me laugh, and I thought you liked to have me around. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Every time I tried, something came up. I didn’t mean to mislead you. It was never supposed to get like this.”
“Like what? Like one of my best friends stabbed me in the back? Like one of my best friends has been lying to me all this time. Damn it Marty! What am I supposed to do with this?”
“There’s something else.”
I hold up my index finger and shake it back and forth in front of his face. “Don’t say it. Never say it.”
He looks down at me. “There’s only one way forward. I have to tell you—”
“Don’t say it—”
“I love you.” I make a crazy sound and spin around and stomp my foot. Marty follows me, explaining, “I’m madly in love with my best friend. I can’t help it. I can’t stop it. I watch you in silence. I say nothing, but I can’t do it anymore. You like these guys who don’t give a shit about you. You’re making a mistake.”
Hysteric
al laughter bubbles up my throat. “
I’m
making a mistake? Me? Really, that’s how you want to play this.” I want to say more, but I can’t. I can’t burn this bridge. Tears sting my eyes. I can’t let it go. “What did you think would happen when I found out? Did you think I’d just overlook it? That was one of the biggest secrets you had and you told me. I told you things about me because of that. I let you in because you trusted me with your fake fucking secret.”
I press my eyes closed and suck in a slow breath. When I look up, Marty is watching me. He looks terrified, but I can’t help him. I can’t gloss over it like nothing happened. My
fists tighten at my sides. I know how this will end. I’m an idiot. All my friends lied to me. They let me believe whatever I wanted. I didn’t know them at all.
I’ve been quiet too long. The crowd watching us disperses. Marty finally speaks. “Avery, say something.”
Grief weighs heavily on me, crushing my shoulders and souring my stomach. “There’s nothing to say.” I walk away without another word. Marty stands in the quad with his hands at his sides. He doesn’t follow. He doesn’t beg for my forgiveness.