The Arrangement 18 (3 page)

I’m used to the way Sean moves, fast and hard, the way he controls me. This time though, that’s not the man that’s with me. Instead, I have a different version of Sean. He’s slow and seeking, tracing the lines of my mouth with his tongue while cupping my cheeks with his hands. He turns me so that the waterfall is over both of us, warming us. The movements he makes aren’t controlling. They're vulnerable and sweet.

I reach for his buckle, pulling the wet leather through the belt loops of his jeans. I toss it aside. There’s water everywhere, but he doesn’t care. Sean’s gaze fixes on me, watching me, wondering what I’m going to do next. Reaching out for his hands, I take them and put them on the hem of my shirt, inviting him to finish what he started. Sean takes the damp fabric in his hands and slowly slides it up over my head and tosses it to the floor.

Those sky-blue eyes wander over my slick curves before returning to my face. I expect him to go for my bra and throw it off, guessing that he’ll be harsh and forceful, the way he usually is—but not this time.

Instead, Sean takes the tip of his finger, and barely touching my skin, chases the water as it flows down from my neck to my shoulder and finally to my breast. The pads of his fingers barely touch my skin. The effect is a symphony of sensations. I gasp and look up at him. Sean pushes my wet hair out of my face, and cups my chin, holding my gaze on his.

“You really should not have come.” This time when Sean says the words, I hear the real meaning and it scares me to death.

The intensity of Sean’s gaze makes me shiver. He mistakes the motion as coldness and steps out of the tub to grab a towel. He returns quickly and wraps it around me. “Come here for a few minutes, let me run you the type of bath that I was planning on giving you.”

My stomach swirls as Sean takes my hand and helps me step over the side of the tub. He sits me down on a cedar bench next to the shower. Sean hands me a fluffy white towel that I wrap around my body.

Now I’m shivering because I’m cold. Before Sean goes back to clean up the mess he does something unexpected. Reaching up under the towel, he finds my waistline and gently removes my pants and my panties. He doesn’t look at them, he doesn’t put my intimates to his nose and inhale. Instead, he just takes the damp clothing and puts it down a laundry chute. Before he walks away he gives me a kiss on the cheek and smiles. “I’ll warm you up fast. Just give me a minute.”

“Sean?” I’m not sure what he’s doing or what he wants from me. The way he’s acting is unnerving.

He was walking away, but when I call his name he stops and turns. I don’t know what to say, so I sit there with my mouth hanging open. I can tell him the truth, I can tell him that I’m scared, that this is too close to what I want—to what I’ve always wanted—and that if he’s pretending now, it’ll kill me. The words never come to my mouth but they must be in my eyes, because he seems to know.

“I won’t hurt you, Avery. Not again. I know you have no reason to trust me, and I know too much has happened between us, but I promise you, this is me. The guy they kept thinking wasn’t there, the one that I denied, but this is who I am.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, but at that moment I can tell he is as afraid as I am.

Pressing my lips together, I say, “Well, just so you know, you are nothing to shrug at. And I understand why you kept him hidden. We both needed two things to survive, things that were unbecoming.”

Sean doesn’t know how to respond—there’s a look of relief on his face and a half smile. It molds his lips into an adorable expression. I want to jump up and kiss him. It’s scary, but I think I’m finally getting to see the side of Sean that I know is there, revealed to me full force. Sean’s finally stopped hiding who he is, at least in front of me. The monsters have been left in the shadows and I finally have him, all of him.

I don’t know if I should hold back or give in. This chance may not come again, and I don’t want to regret holding back. At the same time my heart’s so brittle, so marred, that I’m afraid to open it up entirely again. I could manage fucking, I was so sure that I made a freaking contract. I didn’t think to exclude this part. I didn’t think Sean would try to make love to me and now that he has, I don’t know what to do.

Some people say be careful what you wish for. I used to think that was because wishes don’t come true. That’s not what I’m seeing in front of me now. This version of Sean’s raw and real, ready to give me everything I’ve always wanted. The question is, am I? Or will I be a frightened little girl and run away?

I told him to stop beating around the bush. Well, that has a whole other meaning that I never thought of. Damn. Maybe it’s time for me to be brave, to step out of the shadows myself. This is my chance to get what I've always wanted, even if it’s only once.

Besides, he’s already broken me so many times I don’t see how I could be worse off than before. He sees my eyes and, in that moment, I swear to God he knows what I'm thinking.

“Avery, this is for you. I dropped my walls for you and only you. And you can say no. I’m not pressuring you into this. I know you’ve been hurt by me, by life. I wouldn’t blame you.” His voice trails off at the end of the sentence, like he would be in agony if I said no.

The truth falls from my lips before I can stop it, “I’m afraid.”

“So am I.” Sean watches me from across the room as he refills the tub preparing it with oils and lighting candles that float on the surface of the water. For a moment neither of us breathe, we just stare at each other silently. He offers an uncertain smile before he turns back to the water, adjusting the temperature, picking up twigs that fell from my hair.

When he finishes, he walks over to the shower where I’m sitting. There are over six shower heads and a control panel that I have no clue how to use. He presses three or four buttons and all of a sudden there’s wonderful warm steam and a trickle of hot water from overhead.

Sean extends his hand. “You can rinse off before you bathe. There’s soap and shampoo to get the wilderness off of you. We can check your cuts when you come out. Oh, and there’s a pink bottle, on the far right, that’s for you.”

That last statement caught my attention. What on in the world could he have gotten me? I drop the fuzzy warm towel and head into the steam, inhaling deeply as I go.

Oh. My. God. It feels so good. It’s a shower that feels as though it’s raining inside. The water falls gently, pouring over my body. I look around for the pink bottle and see it right away. It’s made of crystal and has a jeweled topper. I remove the lid and bring my head to the opening of the bottle, inhaling deeply. It smells incredible. I can’t decide what it’s made from. The scents are familiar, but I can’t place them.

I pour some of it into my hand, unsure as to whether it’s perfume or soap. When I put the bottle down and start rubbing, it’s clear from the lather that it’s soap. I rub it on my arms and my stomach and my legs, removing the remains of running through the woods, and tripping over fences. My muscles go slack in the heat and I can feel sleep catching up with me.

That’s when Sean comes to fetch me. He has a white fluffy towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else. His hair is damp as if he showered somewhere else. He takes my hand, presses a button on the way out so the shower turns off, and leads me back to the waterfall next to the bathtub.

Holding onto his arm, I feel weary. “I am so tired.”

Sean runs his fingers through my damp hair and down my neck, bracing my shoulders. “I know, but this can’t wait any longer. I think it’s something we both wanted for a long time, isn’t it?”

Looking up into his eyes, all I can do is nod. Gently, he takes my hand and leads me over to the copper tub. Sean helps me in and tells me to lean back. I do as he says, and close my eyes. The sound of the water wall is perfect, combined with the candles and gentle scents—it’s perfection.

Sean asks me to lean back and lifts my hair over the side of the tub. I try to turn to see what he’s doing but he tells me to relax. “I told you,” he says. “This is something I have wanted to do for a while. If you don’t like it let me know, but I think you will.”

My nerves are jumbled because I can’t begin to fathom what he’s going to do. Is he going to pull my hair? Is he going to cut it? Just as the next thought enters my mind, I feel what he’s doing. The same scent from the pink bottle that was in the shower stall, I smell it, and I know he’s lathering it into my hair. I feel the cool liquid pool on the top of my head before Sean’s fingers work it into my scalp. He massages my temples, gently and carefully untangling my hair with his fingers as he works that wonderful smell into it.

Sean’s voice is timid, which is so unlike him. “I had this made for you a while back. I didn’t know how to give it to you. I never thought you’d come here, not with me.”

I try not to moan as he rubs my head, “I can’t place the scents. What are they?”

As Sean pours warm water over my hair, rinsing the soap, he answers, “They’re things that remind me of you, that I kind of jumbled together. The scent of the ocean and newly fallen snow. The crispness of the winter air, and the smell of a fire. I basically asked them to make it smell like bottled snowman, but for a chick.” He laughs and continues, “Peter’s cologne guy in Italy nearly died when I asked him to do it. The funny part is, he said of course he could do anything, but when I told him what I wanted him to create, he just blinked at me.”

I’m spacing out on him, almost falling asleep, but I think I heard Peter and perfume in the same sentence. I sit up in the tub and turn to look at him, “You made this for me?”

Sean nods. “It’s the things that remind me of you. The only thing I didn’t add was ether.”

I laugh at that. “Thank God. I’ve spent enough of my life smelling like a nasty car. I can’t believe you did this. How long ago did you—”

“Too long ago. I didn’t know what to do, Avery. Sorry it took me so long.”

“Me too, because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fall asleep.”

“Oh, I assure you that you will be awake and delighted, squealing like a schoolgirl.”

A smile twists my lips and I look back at him, wondering what sparked this change and how long he’ll stay like this. I know Sean said he won’t go back again, that he won't revert, but he’s said that before. At the same time, he's never done anything like this before, ever.

I tip my head back to make some witty remark but before I do, Sean’s lips are on mine pressing a gentle kiss. I moan inwardly, thinking how much I’m going to like this.

I follow Sean’s sexy, naked butt into the shower where he takes my face between his hands and leans in slowly. The kiss is different this time. There’s no hurried desperation, but the kisses are still hungry and passionate. As we melt into one another, Sean uses his body to push me against the wall.

The conflicting coolness of the tile and the heat from the shower peak my senses. I gasp and let out a rush of air as Sean’s lips travel down my neck and onto my shoulder. He stays there, teasing me, kissing that spot that makes me so weak. My fingers tangle in his hair, holding on tightly and not wanting us to stop. My fatigue washes away and is replaced with something else, something that’s warm and wanted.

It’s hard for me to stand there and not move. Sean’s warm mouth presses firmly against my skin, trailing down my neck, and onto my shoulder. His teeth graze my skin, nipping as his tongue flicks against me. His hands are on my sides. They slowly slip around to my butt and he cups my ass and holds on tight. He presses his hard length against me, teasing me, as he does so. Water is pouring over my face and drizzling down my breasts. There are so many sensations.

My stomach pools with warmth and spreads within me. Holding him is not enough, tugging his hair isn’t getting him where I want him to go. So I beg softly, “Please?”

And with a husky voice he replies, “Not yet. I want to kiss you first. I want to make you feel so incredibly sexy, and I want you to scream out my name at the top of your lungs. ‘Please’ does not suffice.” His lips immediately lower as he trails down toward my breasts.

He leans in close, slowly, putting his lips on my body. I gasp with excitement, holding onto his hair, encouraging him. His mouth traces over my curves, wrapping around my breast, slowly and painfully making his way toward my nipple. The way he does it is so erotic and so sensual that my hips start to grind against his. But Sean won’t allow it, he uses his hands to hold me still.

I moan his name and try to wriggle against him, but he just presses me tighter to the wall. Water cascades over us, making our skin slick. The friction feels different and wonderful. Moaning, I tangle one hand in his hair while the other reaches for him. Before I can touch, he grabs my hand and pins it to the wall.

“I’m surprised you didn’t have handcuffs built into the shower.” I tease him, but my voice catches when he sucks my nipple into his mouth.

He plays with the taut peak, flicks his tongue across the top and nips me with his teeth. The response is instant and my hips buck against him once more. Before I can wiggle into the right spot, his hand comes down on my butt, slapping me gently. The water makes the sting and the sound more intense even though his touch was light.

My breath catches in my throat when Sean looks up at me. His eyes are midnight blue and those lashes are so dark. His hair is dripping, hanging in his eyes as he watches me. “I want you so much. You have no idea.”

I wiggle my hips against him and smirk. “I think I may have a little bit of an idea.”

Sean offers a lopsided smile. “Never call it little.”

“No, little Sean?”

I think he’s going to answer, but he doesn’t. Instead, he grabs the bottle of soap he had made for me and opens the stopper. He pulls me forward, out of the stream of water, before tipping the bottle on its side. The pink colored soap drips out and lands on my chest. Sean eyes me with a wicked smirk as he does it, drizzling the entire contents of the bottle on my chest, across my breasts, and on my stomach. When he finishes, he sets the jar down on the shelf behind me. Then he presses his body to mine.

“Oh God.” I gasp, as the suds make our bodies slicker.

Sean rubs his chest to mine, moving up and down against me, making every inch of me slick. Sean stops after a few moments and grabs a padded mat. He tosses it on the floor. “Kneel.”

I don’t ask what he wants, I just do it, expecting that my reward will be that hard length of his in my mouth. It makes me wetter just thinking about Sean pulling my hair as he buries himself in my mouth. As he stands in front of me, he takes that gorgeously hard part of him and touches it to my cheek. I lift my hands to take hold and pull him into my mouth, but Sean scolds me.

“No. Hands down until I say so.”

I nod, dropping my hands to my sides once more. I bite my bottom lip as my gaze fixates on him. It’s right in front of me and I really, really want it now. I want to savor his warmth and the way he tastes. But that’s not what Sean has in mind, because he steps closer to me again, and caresses my face with his hardness. He starts on one cheek and slowly pulls it across, passing over my closed lips quickly, and then slowing as he reaches the other side of my face. He repeats the movement, watching me tremble.

“Please let me suck you,” I moan the words, watching him and wanting him to let me.

“Not yet.”

I moan again, but stop quickly because he uses that second to brush the tip across the seam of my lips. I open for him and he pushes inside quickly. I only get to wrap my tongue around him for a moment before he pulls out. We both moan loudly, and gasp for air.

The room continues to fill with steam as water pours down Sean’s back. His breathing is heavy and rapid, like mine. When he leans in toward my mouth again, I part my lips, but that’s not where he’s going. Sean leans against the wall, which puts his dick about a foot lower—right in front of my girls. He holds them, pressing them together and then slips his firm length in between. His thumbs play with my nipples as he rocks his hips into my cleavage.

The familiar sensation is building within me. It feels like my veins are filled with lust and I have to have him now. I can’t...oh god. It feels good. Before I know what happens, he’s fucking my cleavage as I watch. My moans become high pitched, wanting more. The spot between my legs is begging for attention as it throbs, becoming wetter and wetter.

“Beg me, baby.”

I can’t help it. I want him so much that I have no pride at all. I plead with him, “I want you. Fuck me, please. Come on me, come in me. I need you, Sean. Baby, please. I want to taste you and suck you. Feed it to me?” I wiggle against him, making the boob fuck better. He groans and reaches out for the wall, as if he’s unable to stand like that any longer.

“Where do you want me to come?”

A sexy grin spreads across my lips. “Like this. Do exactly what you’re doing, and at the last second lift it to my lips and come in my mouth. I want to taste you so badly.”

“I will, but only if you play too.” I don’t follow his meaning. “Put your fingers where I can’t reach. Touch yourself and come with me.” Our eyes are locked, and for a moment, everything feels perfect. I’m loved. This isn’t fucking—it’s scary and wonderful at the same time.

It’s as if he can read my mind. “I love you, Avery. Please do that for me. I want to see your face when you shatter.”

I answer by putting my hand at the V between my legs and press my fingers against that sensitive spot. As I start to rub, Sean takes my breasts and resumes slipping between them.

Sean groans with pleasure, which only makes my hand move faster. We’re both on edge, ready to lose it. His hips are bucking into me and the frantic pace of his movements lets me know how close he is. My fingers rub against that spot between my legs and then slip inside. We’re both moving together, thrusting and moaning, getting higher and higher.

I call out his name, and dig my nails into his ass. He gasps and thrusts a few more times, before pulling out from between my breasts. His hot, hard length goes straight between my lips. He straightens and grabs hold of my hair as he pushes into my mouth. Sean makes the sexiest sounds as my mouth fills with his sweet come. I suck, swallowing it, wanting to taste it forever. My fingers frantically move between my legs as he pushes in deeper, and I feel the hot liquid drip down my throat. My hips buck into my hand as he does it and I find my release. My hands lift as I hold onto him, guiding him to remain at my lips and to continue pumping into me. I hold the strong curve of his butt in my hands as I suck and swallow. My tongue slides along his shaft as he pulls out and pushes in. Sean cries out as he finishes and his grip on me loosens.

He immediately pulls away, mortified. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”

On my knees, I look up at him. “There's nothing to be sorry for. I loved it.”

Sean hesitates. “I’ve never fucked your face that hard before. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Leaning in close, I press a kiss against the V in his legs, right in the perfect place. “I’m more than okay. I wanted it. I wanted you. I love you.”

He takes my hands and lifts me, pulling me against his chest. “I love you too. I hope you feel like letting me show you how much.”

I smile against his warm skin. “I’d like that.”