Authors: Tony Shillitoe
‘They won’t be easy on you. You’re a threat. The rank of Seer has only ever belonged to men.’
‘You said last night it’s time for that to change. Maybe I’m the catalyst for the change.’
Queen Sunset reached out and embraced Meg. ‘If you find it’s too hard—if it’s too much, you only have to send for me and I’ll release you from this bond.’
‘They told me it was to the death.’
The Queen pushed Meg back to arm’s length. ‘That might be their rule for their acolytes, but first and foremost you are my subject and my law supersedes theirs. You remember that, Lady Meg Farmer. I owe you for the service you did my kingdom in slaying Treasure Overbrook.’
Meg blushed at the mistaken compliment. ‘I didn’t kill him,’ she murmured. She drew a breath, and said, ‘I’ve never been told why Treasure Overbrook was your enemy.’ Sunset released Meg’s arms and moved a couple of paces away, as if collecting her thoughts. Thinking that she was upset, Meg said, ‘I didn’t mean to ask a sensitive question.’
Sunset shook her head, her blonde hair catching the light, but she still didn’t look at Meg. ‘Most of it is common knowledge,’ she said calmly. ‘Prince Future, who I’ve had locked away for his own good, is my son—my legitimate son. He wants my throne. He claims that he’s of the right age, and that I’m an abomination in the eyes of the Holy Church. That’s because certain Seers—all of whom are now dead—whispered lies in his ears, telling him that Jarudha only wants a man to rule, not a woman.’ She faced Meg. ‘When Future began his campaign to take my throne, he became friends with Treasure, who was a Marchlord in my army—a highly trained and remarkable warrior for his age. And then the whole horrible rumour was ignited and others turned against me to support Future and Treasure.’
‘What rumour?’
Queen Sunset fixed Meg with a searching gaze. ‘That Treasure Overbrook was my bastard son.’
Meg gasped, remembering the handsome young man with the strange eyes, his strong arms and firm lips. ‘Was he?’
Queen Sunset’s gaze faltered and she moved closer to her throne. When she turned back to Meg, a tear was tracing a path down her cheek. Meg knew her silent answer. It cut her deeply, reopening the wound she’d inflicted on her own heart when she plunged the dagger into the back of Treasure’s knee. She’d struck down the man she loved and the Queen’s son in one blow. And it was possible that the growing child within her belonged to Treasure. It might also be Blade’s child, but she now knew it was possible that it could be the Queen’s grandchild. How could she ever admit that terrible secret to the Queen? To anyone? Like the Queen, her tears flowed, and the two women stood apart, sharing their sorrow, but only Meg knew its full depth, and she wished she had never asked.
H
er first night in the acolyte chamber was interminable. The Queen’s confession echoing in her mind, she lay on the solid plank bed, staring at the wooden ceiling beams. The dull light of a solitary candle—Jarudha’s Hope, Seer Diamond told her when he showed her where she would sleep—flickered along the beams. The acolytes had to ensure the flame was never extinguished. When the candle melted down another replaced it.
The sounds of sleeping men surrounded her—some breathing heavily, some snoring, some shifting restlessly. Treasure’s face haunted her. Why had fate conspired to make her his killer? And what if the child was his? And how long would it be before her condition became obvious to the Seers? And what would they do?
Sleep eluded her. Meg shifted on the plank, learning quickly how wretchedly uncomfortable were the acolytes’ beds, and the mustard-coloured blanket she was given was rough on her skin, as rough as gum bark. She shifted position whenever the numbness became unbearable. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally, but sleep seemed destined to never arrive.
She clutched the amber crystal inside her robe and prayed for sleep.
The Queen was smiling at her. She was standing in a crowd, and in her arms she held a child, a baby. She looked down at the baby and handed the wrapped bundle to a man beside her, a young man dressed in blue armour. Meg was sure it was Treasure, but he didn’t look the same though she couldn’t quite fathom why. He passed the bundle to Diamond the Seer.
Then she was watching from a great height, like a bird, like she had when she saw the battlefield on which she was destined to slay Treasure, and she was looking down on a group of people standing on a cliff top above the heaving waves of the ocean. The men were Seers. And one held a small bundle. She knew it was her baby. She had a sudden panic attack, wanting to fly down and rip the bundle from the Seer’s arms, but even as she stooped, the Seer flung the bundle into the air and it tumbled towards the waves.
The man on the next bed was staring. ‘It’s all right, Amber,’ he whispered. ‘Jarudha is here with us.’ His face was obscured by the darkness, tiny hints of his expression exposed by the flickering candlelight. He lay back and closed his eyes, leaving her alone.
She sat up for a long time, the images of the dream circling. Was it another prophetic dream with a tragic twist? An acolyte padded across the floor and lit a new candle from the flame of the old. The acolyte crept back to his bed in the knowledge that the new candle would burn until morning, when another would replace it. She really wanted to go for a long walk—a freedom denied acolytes once they were locked inside their sleeping chamber of an evening.
‘This is Amber,’ Seer Onyx had announced, when he’d presented her to the other acolytes. ‘Like you, she is now Jarudha’s disciple and she will live among you as a brother. Her womanly form must be of no consequence to you. As disciples, the way of the flesh is forbidden. Should her presence tempt you to think of such matters, you must respond as to any test of your faith and resist. You must see in her only another brother, another soul on the Path to Immortality.’ She’d seen their eyes. The thoughts of men lurked behind them. The soldiers had had the same look. A woman was among them, an intruder in their closeted world. The look was resentful and lustful. Yet, as she was allocated a sleeping space, and shown the basic amenities, nothing in their actions or in their quiet instruction and advice and welcomes correlated with that initial look they’d given her. Seer Onyx beckoned to River, and told him, ‘Amber will be your companion. I trust you to acquaint her with her new life.’ River had bowed, and after the Seer withdrew he smiled, and said quietly, ‘I’m sorry about your hair.’ So she had at least one friend. River was sleeping four beds away from where she sat.
There was a common toilet at the end of the sleeping room—a simple hole that drained into the temple and Palace sewerage complex. She crept through the chamber to the toilet and squatted. Relieved, she went to the water bucket and drank from the wooden ladle. Queen Sunset had promised to look after Whisper and Sunfire. Meg felt pangs of loss and guilt for her animal companions.
Why am I doing this?
The cost was already too great. It would be better to admit defeat, rescue her devoted animals and head for Summerbrook. How long would it be before she saw her mother, her brothers, little Peter?
What am I doing?
She crept back to her bed and
crawled under the blanket, pressing against the plank, wishing that it was a soft bed—even the ground. Sleep was taunting her. And if she slept, the dreams were waiting.
The first days were long, repetitive and tiring. Woken before dawn every morning by the great brass temple gong, the acolytes washed in cold water, donned their yellow robes and ate a rudimentary meal of mixed grains, raw eggs and milk. Then they completed their allocated morning duties—cleaning, sweeping, fetching water. A second gong ordered the newer acolytes, Meg among them, to meet in the temple, while the senior acolytes left the palace grounds to conduct the work of Jarudha in the wider community.
In the temple, Seer Onyx read from texts devoted to worship—histories recounting the works of Alun, Erin the Wise and others, interpretations of
The Word
, the Jarudhaism bible of multiple volumes. The new acolytes sat on the cold flagstones, listening obediently. Lesson over, they were sent to meditate in isolation within the temple grounds, reflecting on the teachings and questions regarding their faith. At the third gong, they assembled at designated places in groups of ten where a Seer led discussions, analysing their individual contemplations while skilfully bringing them in line with scriptural belief. They did not eat lunch. Instead, they withdrew from the discussion groups to sleep, or meditate, or read.
Midafternoon, a fourth gong brought them to recitation and prayer. Seer Light led these sessions, rigorously demanding that they learn scripture by heart. After prayer, they dispersed to allocated duties—preparing the evening meal, cleaning, whatever duties the Seers decided were necessary.
The senior acolytes returned before sunset. The fifth sounding of the gong announced the evening meal, and they ate a hearty serving—usually roasted lamb and vegetables—in ordered silence. Meal over, they bathed again, and recited scripture as they bathed. Communal prayer followed, during which time they were expected to silently reflect on the day’s events and the teachings of Jarudha while a Seer read passages from
The Word.
Then it was time to retire.
For Meg, the daily process was bearable only because of the late-morning discussion groups, and the sharing of daily rostered duties. She was surprised at how readily the acolytes accepted her, and despite how some stared when she bathed she felt safe in their company. River showed her what she was required to do on a daily basis, and he introduced her to other young men—acolytes named Windpiper, Shadow and Prayer. ‘Amber? Is it true that you can heal even the dying?’ Shadow asked, as he dried dishes with her.
‘I have the Blessing for healing,’ she confided. ‘And you?’
Shadow put a plate on the pile. ‘I’ve yet to receive Jarudha’s Blessing.’
She was about to ask him how he had become an acolyte without Jarudha’s Blessing, but changed her question to, ‘What is River’s Blessing?’
Shadow glanced across the chamber at his friend, and said, ‘He’s in waiting, like we all are.’
‘You mean no one here has the Blessing?’
Shadow nodded. ‘That’s why we’re acolytes. We remain acolytes until Jarudha blesses us with ability. Only then can we aspire to the position of Seer.’
So why am I here?
she wondered, as she passed another dish to Shadow.
‘Can you show me your Blessing?’ Shadow asked.
‘When it is time. “A Blessing is not something to be lightly used.”’ She’d recited a portion of text from Onyx’s lessons, and from Shadow’s nodding she knew it had been understood.
‘You will not be among us long, Amber,’ said the young man. ‘You already know the scripture.’
So the first days passed, with Meg learning the routines, but secretly wondering why she was being treated as an acolyte when she already had Jarudha’s Blessing. She expected a visit from the Queen, or a message, but the world beyond the temple was silent, as if she no longer existed. The Akim seasonal weather became steadily warmer, and the changes accelerated in her body. Her tummy started to show a distinct podge and her breasts were swelling. Seer Diamond studied her more and more when she joined his discussion circle, and she knew something would come of it. It was only a matter of time.
Windpiper, River and Shadow squatted beside her in the late afternoon shadows of the temple. ‘We came to talk,’ said River. ‘You make us all curious.’
‘Because I’m a woman?’
Windpiper chuckled devilishly. ‘
That
is one curiosity, although when you bathe there’s not much left to be curious about.’
‘“The call of the flesh is like the soft wind in the evening trees, a sound which the traveller on the Path to Immortality must put aside for the greater sound of Jarudha’s beating heart,”’ Meg quoted.
‘You learn quicker than any of us, Amber,’ said Shadow. ‘How can you so easily remember what you only hear once?’
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, shrugging. ‘It is part of Jarudha’s Blessing, perhaps. It’s as if anything the Seers say is immediately locked inside for me to call upon whenever I wish.’
‘Is that a blessing or a curse?’ asked Windpiper.
‘Both. Some things I wish I could forget, but I never can.’
‘The amber pendant explains your name, but why don’t you ever take it off?’ asked River.
‘It’s a family heirloom. I promised I’d never part with it.’
‘We aren’t permitted to wear any jewellery or clothing except our robes,’ said Shadow. ‘I’m surprised the Seers haven’t taken it from you.’
‘They haven’t seen it,’ she said.
‘And when they do?’
‘Then it will be an issue.’
‘We—’ River paused, as if he was uncertain of how to say what he wanted to say.
‘We what?’ she prompted.
He looked at his companions, swallowed, and asked, ‘Are you—pregnant?’ Meg wanted to vanish. ‘You are, aren’t you?’
Windpiper broke in. ‘I can tell—when you’re bathing.’ Meg glared at him, and he shifted uncomfortably, smiling shyly. ‘I can’t help it. You’re—very beautiful.’
‘You won’t be able to hide that from Seer Diamond for much longer,’ River said.
‘I think he already knows,’ she said. ‘I see him watching me every day.’
‘Why do you want to be a Seer?’ Shadow asked.
‘Why do you?’ Meg retorted.
‘I want to serve Jarudha in the best way possible,’ said Shadow.
‘So you believe?’
Shadow frowned. ‘Of course. Don’t you?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Then why
are
you here?’
She looked down at an ant carrying a seed. ‘I was told I should become a Seer.’
‘Who by?’ River asked.
‘An old woman in my village who believes in magic. And by the Queen.’
‘Magic?’ Shadow asked. ‘Real magic?’
‘Is there any other kind?’
The young men laughed. ‘There’s plenty of magic if you want to look for charlatans and tricksters,’ Shadow argued. ‘Magic isn’t real, Amber. Only, sometimes, individuals are blessed, as you’ve been blessed. It’s not magic. It’s a gift.’
‘I didn’t believe in magic either,’ she told them. ‘I used to think it was a lie added to stories to make them more interesting. You know, the heroic ballads—all the fantasy stories. But now I’m not so sure. You say I have a Blessing, but the Seers say that no one can have a Blessing unless they believe in Jarudha. And I’ve never really believed. I never prayed until I came here.’
‘Perhaps you didn’t believe in your mind,’ said River, looking at the ant that Meg was watching, ‘but maybe, Amber, you do in your soul.’ He smiled and looked up for her response—and was surprised by her astonishment. But she wasn’t looking at him.
Meg was staring at a dark figure running along the parapet of the wall that separated the temple grounds from the palace courtyards. She glanced down at her chest and saw an arrow shaft. There was pain, but it was muted. She noticed River staring at her, his face registering shock. Shadow was shouting. All she knew was that she was going to die unless she acted quickly. She grabbed the shaft with both hands. The pain shot through her and she knew she screamed, but it felt as if someone else was doing the screaming. All she could think about was willing the arrow to dissolve, to cease to exist. To cease to exist…
You can hear me, can’t you?
Yes.
Stop panicking. You aren’t going to die.
I thought I was dead.
No. You’re too strong. You’re stronger than I expected.
Who are you?
You’ve been here before.
But who are you?
Your master.
I don’t understand.
Neither do I. But I’ve been waiting for you to come.
You knew I’d come?
No.
I don’t understand.
Don’t go. There’s more.
I’m not going.
She wasn’t sure she should open her eyes because, although the voices in the darkness were familiar, and she was the focus of their conversation, there were tones of frustration and fear. ‘Look for yourself. The wound—it’s completely healed.’
‘It shouldn’t be.’
‘Perhaps the arrow didn’t penetrate her skin.’
‘Don’t be a fool. All the acolytes saw it.’
‘Who would want Amber dead?’
‘It may be intended to warn us.’
‘About what?’
‘You know as well as I do.’
‘She wouldn’t be that clumsy.’
‘She’s not the only one.’
‘But
this
—how is
this
possible?’
‘She is an abomination.’
She opened her eyes to dim candlelight. The ceiling beams were absorbed in the darkness. ‘She’s awake.’
Seer Diamond’s face appeared. ‘How do you feel, Amber?’
She realised that she was lying on the tiled temple floor. Diamond and Onyx knelt beside her. Light stood. Vale was watching from a few paces away among the pews. ‘I feel fine,’ she said.